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Chapter 1 : Lost in Thought
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Looking out at the first year Hufflepuffs that made up her first period of the day, she could not help but wonder why any of them even bothered coming to class…no…to school at all. There was not a single one of them that had enough brains to ever amount to anything. They weren’t even good enough to be sorted into a proper house. Everyone knew that Hufflepuff was the place that the rejects were sent to. The students that didn’t fit anywhere else were just thrown together in the least respected house. There wasn’t enough pure magic blood in the whole house to even qualify for half-blood status! Ugh! What was a Hufflepuff anyway? It sounded to her a lot like a contagious disease that was passed around amongst the poverty stricken trash she liked to kick garbage at whenever she was forced to interact with muggle London.
Of course it didn’t help that the little honey badger brats had no proper role model as a head of house. Pamona Sprout was absolutely horrifying! Who would honestly ever want to waste their life being a herbologist? The woman was constantly caked head to toe with dirt, had no sense of fashion at all, and was as dull as could be. She truly was a waste of space.
Oh goodie. Class was over. She watched as the fungi lovers hurry to pack up their books and shuffle out of the room. As soon as the last student was gone from the room, a small army of house-elves appeared and began hurriedly cleaning the room. She had never known that kids could smell so bad. No matter how much the room was scrubbed and perfumed she could not seem to rid the classroom of their stench. The smell was even starting to stick to her clothes and even cling to the inside of her nose. She had begun to fear that she would never be able to be free from the awful funk of these children. This was precisely why she had demanded that the house-elves thoroughly clean the room after each class.
Naturally, the old dolt, Dumbledore, had tried to forbid her use of the elves in such a manner, but she had won out in the end. She had informed him that should Cornelius find out how terribly under utilized the elves were, he would be forced to investigate the rational of having so many elves on staff. The look of forced obedience of his face was something that she would treasure for many years to come.
She knew that the days were numbered for the inept headmaster. Since the day that she had arrived, she had been taking careful observations of every deviation from policy, every disloyal word and every failure to maintain the highest of standards that should be withheld in any reputable academic institution. Not that this school could be defined as being even moderately respectable since Dumbledore became headmaster and allowed half-breed scum to teach here.
The gamekeeper/Care of Magical Creature teacher Hagrid, was half giant. It was absolutely idiotic that such a monstrosity was even permitted on school grounds let alone be trusted to teach! She had heard rumors that the beast had brought dangerous specimens for the students to “study”. She only hoped that one of the little pets, that the filthy dimwit was so fond of, would eventually kill a student. She certainly hoped that she would be around to witness that happy day. Maybe then the rest of the wizarding world would open their eyes and finally see her viewpoint about how dangerous half-breeds truly were.
Unfortunately, Hagrid was not the only half-breed that Dumbledore had permitted to work at the school. There was also the unfortunate half-goblin Filius Flitwick. The half-sized mutant constantly seemed to think that he was superior to the rest of the faculty and liked to remind everyone that he had been a champion dueler at one time in his life. Of course he would be good at dueling, since the entire goblin race have done nothing but pick fights since the beginning of their pitiful existence. This was the reason that the goblins were banned from the privilege of owning a wand. All except for Flitwick that is. Somehow the minute speckle of human blood the Flitwick had in his body made the idiots at the Goblin Liaison Office believe that he was capable of wielding a wand.
As could easily be predicted, Flitwick’s exaggerated sense of self-worth had bled over and infected the know-it-all goodie goodies of the Ravenclaw house that he was head of house over. The fourth year blowhards that were now filing into the room and taking their seats were no exception. Ravenclaw students have always been known as pretentious smart alecks that walked around school as if they were better than everyone else. It was quite a surprise to her how they could even see where they were walking with their noses being stuck up so high in the air. These overbearing gasbags were constantly running around spitting out useless facts, figures and statistics about things that absolutely no one gave a damn about and most often had little to no application in the real world.
It had been because of the audaciousness of these blue & silver clad monsters that she had begun writing the reading assignments on the board for them to accomplish during class instead of having to speak to them directly. When she had first arrived at the school the little braggarts tried lying to her and said that they had all already read through the their books. So she had assigned them a four foot long written assignment, detailing the specifics concerning the assigned readings for that day. The quickly put an end to that little rebellion.
Now all she had to be attentive to was the little space cadet, Lovegood. She was often caught trying to poison the minds of her classmates with the rubbish that her worthless father was always printing in that ridiculous paper of his. Of course, she managed to pull Potter and his silly little band of Gryffindor friends in to her crazy world of conspiracies and nonsense.
She sat up and checked her schedule to see when she would next be forced to endure the torture of the crimson and gold heathens. The nastiness of the most obnoxious house in the whole school was the one that she tolerated the least. The whole lot of them were nothing more than odious buffoons that spent their time laughing at their own pitiful jokes and pulling outrageous pranks. Every single one of them did everything possible to push the rules as far they could and were continuously creating conflicts with the other houses, most especially the Slytherin House. The faculty and staff members did nothing to stop the antics of these delinquents, in fact it seemed as though they even went so far as to encourage the degenerate behavior.
She had originally held a small hope that Potter alone had been the driving force behind the secret insurgency that was slowing beginning to erupt. She had thought that if she could squash Potter’s insolence and show to his cult of followers that he was nothing more than a lying little narcissist they would lose interest in their cause. She had been absolutely certain that the little adventure with the dementors would have silenced him (and everyone else) for good. Even when they had failed to administer the kiss, she was sure that he would have been expelled and his wand taken away. But his little protector, Dumbledore had to come to his rescue yet again. The old man had been far much more trouble than she had anticipated. His constant need to challenge authority was incessantly feeding into the boy’s overactive imagination. Unfortunately it seemed that Dumbledore’s influence was not the only one that was having an effect on the madness.
Minevera McGonagall was in cohorts with Dumbledore and she was sure that the imperious shrew was conspiring to take over as senior undersecretary under Dumbledore once they unseated Fudge. This abhorrent woman was quickly becoming quite a painful thorn in her side. She opened confronted her, challenged her teaching methods and was her blatant disrespectful attitude was visible even to the students. She was easily one of the ugliest old hags that ever existed and was well past her prime. If everything went according to plan, she would soon be pushed into a forced retirement ridding this school of her forever.
Her silent musings were suddenly interrupted by the repulsive sound of one little creep retching repeatedly and spilling vomit all over his desk and floor. Before she could even make a sound to reprimand him, another student also began vomiting. Then another. And another. Until there were about two-thirds of the class spewing vomit over nearing every surface including the floor.
“GET OUT!!! NOW! ALL OF YOU!!!” she screamed hysterically.
All of the students scrambled out of their seats and out of the door as fast as they could while trying not to slip and fall on the mess that covered the floor. Soon she found herself standing alone at the head of an empty classroom staring down a pool of puke and fuming to herself.
She really, REALLY hated children!!!
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