Chapter 7 : Nowhere Man
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Doesn’t have a point of view
Knows not where he’s going to
Nowhere man do you see me at all?
~ Nowhere Man ~ The Beatles ~
“What is this place?” We were sitting in some sort of meadow. It had taken at least half an hour to get here, seeing as it involved climbing past a cave on a cliff. But here it was. There was even a dip in the land which had caught all the rain water from the past week, creating a small sort of pond in the middle of the thick grass. Even under a grey sky it was beautiful.
“We found it one night.” Remus shrugged.
“You mean you guys snuck out of school?” I asked, shocked.
“Yes, there are quite a few secret passageways.” Remus smiled. “Anyway, the others weren’t very interested but I thought it was nice. Peaceful.” He added. I nodded my agreement as I looked around us.
“I love it.” I said warmly, beaming back at him.
“I’m sorry I’m not very good at this.” He said, suddenly.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, dating, romance, that kind of thing.” Remus sighed, “I didn’t think I’d ever need to know how to do any of this stuff.”
“It’s not like you’re short of female admirers.” I pointed out, remembering the hordes of girls who would follow the Marauders around, many of whom had crushes on Remus. But he shook his head.
“They’re after Sirius and James. Not me.”
“What makes you think that? I know loads of girls who’d snap their wands in half to be where I am right now.” I informed him, completely honestly. “You don’t have enough self-confidence.”
“Why should I? Girls don’t like boys who would rather spend their time reading a good book than- well, make an effort for them, you know.” He looked embarrassed. “I don’t even know why I’m saying this to you- moping around.”
“No, it’s okay. I’m just kind of surprised.” I told him. “I know you’re ‘the quiet one’ of your friends, but that doesn’t mean plenty of girls don’t notice you. Some of us actually prefer the kind of guys who spend their time reading books rather than running around like headless chickens showing off when they have nothing to show off about.” I realised this had turned into kind of a rant. I was annoyed with the whole world because why should a kind, sweet person like Remus have to feel inadequate just because he didn’t fit the prototype of ‘attractive’ that was constantly bandied about?
“I haven’t met any of those girls.” Remus shrugged.
“You’ve met me.” Merlin, my face like it had burst into flames when that slipped out of my mouth. Remus’ gold eyes widened.
“You’ve met me,” I repeated, more quietly this time, “And I’m one of those girls… I’m on a date with you, aren’t I?” This last part was more for me than him. But it all paid off when all of a sudden, we were leaning in towards each other. His eyes were on my lips and my own eyes began to flutter closed as I was about to take part in my first ever kiss….
“Moony!” Or not.
My eyes flew open and I looked around to see James Potter walking towards us, with some Hufflepuff in the year below following.
“Shit!” I heard Remus mutter under his breath. I sighed deeply.
“What’re you doing here, you two?” James asked, “It’s far out of the way.”
“That was kind of the point.” Remus responded, looking mortified.
“It’s really pretty.” The girl said cheerfully. I eyed her ruefully. She was short, with curly blonde hair and a bland sort of face. I thought of Lily and her long red hair and bright green eyes, and the personality you could see written all over her every mood. This girl had none of that vitality.
“This is- um…” James looked down at her, clearly stumped.
“Ellie!” She smiled, apparently not at all bothered that James had no idea what her name was. I continued to stare at her in disbelief after this response; was the fact he was a Marauder and Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team really enough to excuse him for not knowing the girl he was supposedly dating’s name? Apparently so; I for one did not understand this at all.
“Ellie.” James repeated. He looked down at us where we were sitting on the ground for a long moment. I saw Remus lock eyes with him and I knew they were battling it out silently; who got to stay here and who had to leave. Remus let out a breath which told me that he lost a minute later. I stood up at the same time as he did. I was seriously irritated with this whole sequence of events now.
“Let’s go and get us some Butterbeers.” I said fiercely, giving James the dirtiest look I could muster. “Maybe we’ll run into Lily.” I saw, out of the corner of my eye, James’ expression momentarily show horror before I stalked off, Remus following behind me slightly. As soon as we were out of earshot, Remus laughed.
“That was brilliant.” He complimented me.
“Thanks.” I said, smiling a little. “That kind of ruined things though.” I pointed out.
“I’m sure- well, I hope, anyway- there’ll be other opportunities for things.” Remus stated. I felt a little thrill inside when he said that.
We made our laborious way back round the cave and the cliffs, and onto the high street again. Ironically, we did pass by Lily, who was actually giggling over something David Leonard had just said. She gave us a little wave as we passed.
“James won’t like that.” Remus chuckled.
“Aren’t you supposed to be supportive of your friend?” I challenged.
“Well, sometimes it’s hard to be supportive of James. I love him to bits and everything, but he can be a bit of a dickhead at times.”
“I’d noticed.” I agreed, thinking of how he hadn’t even remembered Ellie’s name. We were approaching the Three Broomsticks now.
“Don’t you ever find it hard to stay supportive of your friends?” He enquired.
“Perry. All the time. Especially when she’s dating Sirius.” Remus laughed at this- the first proper laugh I’d heard him ever give, and he led me into the pub.
The rest of the date passed swimmingly, though in the crowded, warm atmosphere of the Three Broomsticks, no more opportunities for kisses or anything like them arose. Remus and I chatted, though intermittently there were pauses. For some reason my mind wandered over to Sirius. We never ran out of things to talk about and it was never awkward. Why had that thought even crossed my mind? I caught Remus glancing at his watch.
“I should get going soon.” He told me, sounding worried for some reason. It was barely four o’clock. “It’s getting dark already.” This was not a surprise, seeing as we were in Scotland and it was autumn.
“You’re scared of the dark?” I teased. He laughed.
“Something like that,” He said, “Well, actually, I was thinking more about the fact you have a detention for attacking Uley this morning.” Strangely enough, I’d forgotten all about that.
“Oh right. I suppose we should leave then.”
We made our way back to school, but most people seemed to have the same idea at the same time.
“I suppose I should be celebrating this detention. It’s the ultimate sign of the new me.” I joked as we crossed the grounds. Remus kept glancing at the darkening sky. He reminded me of a centaur I once met in an unauthorised venture into the Forbidden Forest I’d made in my second year. It was pretty much the only thing I’d ever done to break the school rules before this morning.
“It’s not your first detention?” Remus looked surprised. I nodded. “Wow. I’ve had tonnes of detentions and they still made me prefect.”
“Dumbledore works in mysterious ways.” I noted.
“That’s one way of putting it.” We had reached the Entrance Hall, and Filch was trying to cram his Secrecy Sensor into inappropriate places as usual. At the bottom of the marble staircase, I turned to Remus.
“Thanks for today. I had fun.” I said, feeling weirdly detached from my body as I looked up at him. His gold eyes had gone weirdly hazy as he gazed back at me.
“Me too. I… I hope we can do it again sometime.” He responded quietly. I had the strange urge to giggle for no reason at all.
“Maybe you can show me some of these secret passageways.” I said this bit quietly because I didn’t want Filch to hear, obviously.
“I’d like that.” The same feeling from earlier in the meadow welled up in me, and Remus was leaning down towards me, and I held my breath, excited and nervous for his kiss. But then, at the last moment, he seemed to change his mind and instead of going for my lips, kissed me on the cheek.
“See you later, Erin.” I tried not to watch him as he walked off, looking edgy.
A/N: My time travel fic is being re-edited and posted so in the meantime here's another chapter of this! Please leave a review, you'll make my day, as has everyone who has reviewed so far :)
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