Chapter 1 : April Fools
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People were pretty used to April Fools by now. Everyone expected the pranks and chaos caused by James Potter. The exciting part was seeing who the pranks were played on, and the actual pranks, of course. It was also the day that anyone humiliated by James Potter planned how to get back at him for it.
Lily Evans was the only one who wasn't amused; she thought that everything James did was stupid and immature. She found the pranks annoying and disruptive, not to mention that she was always stuck comforting the victims of his jokes.
As you can clearly tell, Lily wasn't a fan of James Potter at all. And after today, she'd most likely go around the castle for the rest of the week devising a plan on how to kill him without getting caught.
When Lily woke up on April 1st, she was greeted with sunlight shining into her dormitory through the giant window on the left side of the room. It was fourth year, the year was almost over, exams were getting closer, and studying had to be done. Not to mention Lily would end up having to spend two months in the company of Petunia who'd sniff her nose and stalk out the room with said nose in the air.
No matter how much Lily thought things sucked for her at the moment, they were just about to get worse. Lily was unaware of the fact that she was this year's target for April Fool's. Lily should've noticed that something was off as soon as she went to get some clean undergarments for her morning shower. She was too tired and sleepy though to have paid much attention to the fact that her trunk was decidedly a lot less crowded than she'd last remembered.
She'd sat kneeling before it, frowning at the little amount of clothing that was in it and then shrugged a moment later, completely dismissing the fact that something seemed off.
Once Lily had gotten out of the shower, she'd gotten herself ready for the day. She stared at her timetable while putting on her shoes and once that task was done, Lily gathered everything that she would need until lunch and left her dormitory.
More awake than she'd been minutes ago, Lily did notice that her fellow housemates kept staring at her before looking elsewhere as soon as she made eye contact with them. Something was definitely up, she might have dismissed it before but now Lily was positive that something was up.
The closer that Lily went to the Great Hall, the more people she passed and so the more people stared at her. It seemed as if everyone was trying not to laugh. Eyebrows furrowed, Lily slowly made her way into the Great Hall, unsure of what she'd find there.
Lily was going to kill James Potter. She'd personally make sure that he never have any children in his entire lifetime.
Lily now understood why her trunk suddenly seemed a lot less crowded. There wasn't as many pieces of clothing in it, obviously, seeing as they were strung up all over the Great Hall. Lily, of course, didn't own that many undergarments so she assumed that some of her clothing had been duplicated.
She was particularly embarrassed to see that her "grannie panties" —as Dorcas liked to call them— were duplicated more than anything else.
As soon as Lily set foot in the Great Hall, all of her belongings rearranged themselves to spell out, MORNING, EVANS!
Lily was too stunned to actually say anything and so she stood there in shock for a few moments. James, however, was finding it difficult to sit upright because he was laughing so hard.
He was aware that this was probably the worst way to get Lily to like him but at the moment, he didn't care. This was April Fool's and Lily Evans was this years target. James was in for as big of a surprise as Lily was.
He'd expected Lily to get angry at him —which she was— and he expected her to start hexing him and yelling at him. What he however wasn't expecting was for her to march over to him, lean close to his ear and whisper,
"You better watch yourself, Potter. You're not the only one who can play practical jokes," Lily said smirking, as the laughter left James and a look of fear came onto his face.
As Lily sauntered away to class, James sat there thinking. What exactly was Lily going to do? What could she do? There were in fact a lot of things that Lily could've done and she would've gotten away with them too, James preferred not to think of the possibilities though.
He shook his head after thinking about Lily's threat for ten minutes. This was Lily Evans and if there's one thing that James knew, it was that Lily Evans was a goody two-shoes. She wouldn't do anything that might land her a detention or get her on the bad side of a Professor. Plus, what could Lily do to James that everyone hadn't already done to him?
James was probably safe from the wrath of Lily Evans. He was of course very wrong on that account. He should've known by now to not underestimate Lily and that she was indeed very dangerous when provoked.
James said goodbye to Sirius —who was laughing in his seat still— as he had to head to Charms and Sirius had Potions. Remus got up to go with James. If Sirius wasn't there then at least he had Remus with him.
This was the perfect opportunity for the next prank. Everything was going according to plan. James sat himself down at the back of the classroom and eyed Lily, who was sitting near the front with Severus —or Snivellus as James liked to call him— waving her arms around animatedly. She was clearly telling a story or something, but perhaps Lily was raging about James.
James couldn't help the shot of jealousy that went through him. What did Snivellus have that he didn't have? As far as James was concerned, he was much better than Snivellus and Lily should've been his friend. James shook his head to get those thoughts out.
Whatever it was, today was not the day to think about stuff like that. Today was the day for pranks and lots of them.
Once the Charms class was underway, James, upon the pretence of practicing the new spell, changed Lily's hair to bright neon pink. That's right. Pink.
Lily's hair was now pink.
The spell was not at all related to what James was supposed to actually be doing, but he could simply claim that he'd said the incantation wrong and accidentally hit Lily. No one would believe him but it was worth a shot.
Once Lily caught sight of her hair, she let out a shriek so loud it could've rivalled that of a banshee. She whipped around to glare at James and before he could even so much as begin laughing, Lily had already gotten out of her seat and was making her way towards him.
Once Lily had reached James, she reached for his Charms textbook and then proceeded to beat James over the head with it.
"YOU FOUL, LOATHSOME, ANNOYING, ARROGANT, STUPID, BIG-HEADED PIG!" Lily yelled, as she hit James over and over with his textbook. He was laughing too hard to actually be in pain. Severus dragged Lily away from James kicking and screaming.
Completely forgetting about their stuff, Severus started dragging Lily towards the classroom doors and Lily, having given up on screaming her head off, simply made a slicing motion across her throat and mouthed the words "YOU. ARE. DEAD." to James.
James simply waggled his fingers at her and grinned as the door slammed shut behind her.
On the other side of the door in the empty hallway stood Severus and Lily. Lily stood heaving while muttering death threats and obscenities under her breath.
"Lily, calm down," Severus said, holding onto her shoulders and looking her dead in the eye. He would prefer that his best friend not get suspended for beating up a student —even if it was James Potter.
"As much as I want to get back at the prat extraordinaire, this isn't the way to do it, you've got the entire week to mess with Potter."
"You're right, Severus, you're right. We'll just see how funny things are when James wakes up in the middle of the Black Lake." Lily had a positively crazy look on her face. She was enjoying planning the downfall of James Potter more than she should've. The expression on her face was slightly alarming, nothing good could from that look on her face. Clearly Lily was planning something.
By the end of the day, Lily was stomping around the castle fuming. Forget pranking James, she wanted to kill him with her bare hands. It took all of her self-restraint to keep from launching at James Potter and punching him in the face.
When she'd made her way to Transfiguration, Peeves had followed her, lobbing water balloons at her while cackling madly. When Lily had walked into the room, she was soaking wet and trying to kill James with her mind. James couldn't help himself from smirking throughout the entire day. Everything was going according to plan and Lily couldn't do anything about what was happening.
While Lily had been in Potions, a rain cloud had appeared over her head and it had started to rain over her only. And her cauldron. She panicked because she wasn't supposed to add water to the cauldron and it had started letting off fumes and bubbles, something it definitely was not supposed to do.
The cauldron exploded and all of its contents landed on Lily, covering her from head to toe in green goopy liquid. She stood there with her fists clenched at her side. Slughorn had made her leave class to get cleaned up and to have Madam Pomfrey look her over to make sure she was okay.
The young Healer had fussed over Lily for hours and when Lily finally left, she was hungry, tired and angry. She made her way to the Great Hall, totally unaware of the fact that something would happen to her there.
Meanwhile, James was practically jumping in his seat because he was so excited for what would happen to Lily. He couldn't wait to see what her reaction would be like at the end of this final prank. It was his best one yet if he we perfectly honest, his magnum opus.
Lily finally made it to the Great Hall and seated herself at the Gryffindor table, but not before shooting James the dirtiest look that she could muster. She settled herself for a peaceful dinner, completely convinced that the pranks were over when a strange noise came from above her.
Lily stopped eating and looked up only to have honey dumped all over her. The green goop that she'd cleaned off of her from the Potions incident was all for nothing. The honey was sticky and uncomfortable but if Lily thought that was the worst, she was sadly mistaken.
Just as Lily had wiped the honey out of her eyes and was about to go and hex the hell out of James -who sat roaring with laughter next to Sirius, who was also laughing. However, a group of owls flew in and anyone who hadn't noticed what was happening was sure looking now. The owls stopped over Lily and dropped open the sheet that they were carrying.
Hundreds of thousands of feathers fell and landed on Lily and stuck to her because of the honey. They were scattered all over the Gryffindor table, on peoples hair, on food but most of it had landed on Lily. Just as planned.
She looked like one angry chicken, that was for sure. And if things couldn't get any worse, paint dropped down as soon as all the feathers had stopped falling and splattered all over Lily.
Now she was a colourful chicken.
James could barely sit up because he was laughing so hard. He just couldn't help it, Lily looked ridiculous! There was yellow all over her robes, green all over her hair and purple all over her pants.
James had completely forgotten about Lily's threat but Lily hadn't. As angry as she was, she couldn't help but smile evilly at James. She was going to get back at him for this and good.
Lily left the Great Hall to lots of laughter but she held her head high and ignored everyone. She'd see who was laughing tomorrow morning.
When James went to sleep last night, the last thing he'd expected was to wake up in the middle of the Black Lake. Unfortunately for him, that's exactly what happened. Lily had gone through with her plan to levitate him out to the Black Lake in the middle of the night. It had been tricky work, and she'd had to sneak in Severus to help her, but she'd done it.
When James woke up, he liked the light breeze that he felt but didn't know why his bed kept moving. He opened his eyes and let out a yell of shock when he found that he was floating in the middle of the Black Lake. Someone, somehow, had moved him and his bed into the middle of the Black Lake while James was sleeping.
Everyone stood on the shore laughing their heads off and James looked around wildly for the person who'd done this. It was cold, James was freezing and now the wind wasn't so nice anymore. James was far from amused.
Lily walked by eating an apple calmly. She didn't look surprised to see James in the lake but said,
"Sucks for you, doesn't it Potter?" before turning around and heading back up to the castle.
Throughout the week things just got worse for James. His essays mysteriously had misspelled words throughout the entire thing and everything he wrote down was replaced by the wrong information. His invisibility cloak disappeared —he had no idea how anyone knew about that one, he hadn't told anyone besides the Marauders.
The final touch was his broomstick disappearing two days before a Quidditch match. While James panicked, Lily sat back and watched the work of all of her pranks.
The next morning, everything that James was missing was sent back to him via owl (including some of his missing clothes) with a letter saying "I told you I could play practical pranks Potter, I hope you enjoyed your week of pure suck."
James had looked at Lily incredulously and she had just waggled her fingers and grinned as she made her way to class.
To be fair, Lily did warn him.
a/n: This was written for the challenge and I had lots of fun writing it. I had a friend of mine read it and her reactions were hilarious, it just made writing this so much more worth it. Anyway, I had a lot of fun writing this and I hope that you had a lot of fun reading it and that you enjoyed it!
Let me know what you think of it!