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What If? by patronus_charm
Chapter 4 : Facing Fate
 
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 4


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I still hadn’t spoken to Scorpius since our break up, and that happened more than two years ago. It was too painful. What was I even supposed to say to him?

'Hey, guess what? I’m now engaged to your best friend, isn’t that great?'

I doubted that he would take that well, so remaining silent was a much better option.

I still got scraps of news about him from Albus. He probably still heard about me through Albus too. He was apparently doing really well in Switzerland, winning all of these Auror prizes and whatnot. I guess that was why him moving back to England was such a shock to me. He seemed to be living the perfect life there, so why would he need to uproot himself and come back here?

I didn’t even know why he decided to turn up today. If we had remained in contact, I could sort of understand, but Xander also stopped speaking to him after we had got in engaged. He said it would be took awkward talking to him about it, and sent Scorpius a quick note saying that we were getting married, and perhaps it would be best if they stopped talking.

Hearing a set of footsteps approach me, my eyes scan the surroundings. When I saw who it was, I wasn't too pleased to say the least. Of course it would be her who found me.

“You found me then?” I asked Dom.

“Yes. Eventually, mind. You shouldn’t have run off like that. Albus is going into hysterics about whether you would return in time, and whether the whole wedding would now be called off because of Scorpius showing up.”

“Albus gets into hysterics about anything. If you said boo to him he would run away screaming. It’s a wonder that he chose to become an Auror.” That was my attempt at skirting around the real issue at hand.

“Rose, stop trying to change the subject, and tell me what’s up. First, you don’t reply to any of my owls, and then running away when you find out your ex-fiancé has shown up. I know that you’re hiding something, and we’re having it out, now. And none of this, ‘I like to keep my private life, private,’ lark, it doesn’t get you anywhere.” Dom glared at me to show that she wouldn’t be giving up easily. She looked like those scary Veelas that Mum had told me about.  I guess I would have to give into her demands for once, as I knew she would get it out me eventually.

“I guess it’s because me and Xander got together so soon after me and Scorpius broke up. It makes me doubt whether I am in love with him or he’s just a rebound for me. Scorpius and I never really had any closure, and that I just ended it and didn’t give him a chance to explain himself. Perhaps if I had, we might still be together. Then him being here means that this conversation may happen. It will make me doubt my feelings for Xander. Thus leading to indecision, which is the thing I hate the most.” I felt this sense of relief wash over me as I said it all. I guess Dom was right about bottling it all up; sometimes it did make it worse.

“Wow, I didn’t realise that this was so complicated! What are you going to do about it then?”

“I don’t know, I just can’t think. I don’t what to do, or say. I just have too many thoughts going around in my head. Then you guys were trying to get me to talk, and I couldn’t even comprehend what was going on in my mind, let alone talk about it. That’s why I had to run, and I just wish I could keep on running,” I replied bitterly, and thought how true it was. Even though I had resolved earlier that I had to deal with my issues, as that was the adult thing to do, it didn’t make that option any more appealing.

“Rose Weasley, you will not run away from your problems. You may be a Ravenclaw, but you’re still a Weasley at heart, and Nanna Molly wouldn’t think much of you, if you just ran away. You will confront Scorpius and talk to him whether you like it or not, as that’s the only way you’ll ever be able to get over him. Now come with me now, and we’ll go and find him.”

“Can’t I just have a few minutes to compose myself?” I asked hopefully, and then perhaps I could use those few minutes to flee, as I did not want to have that conversation.

“Fine, but I won’t be far. I know what you’re thinking Rose, and you are not going to run away.” Dom strode off to a nearby tree and lent against it. Damn, she knew me too well. I guess I would have to face him then, but at least I could use these last few minutes to think about happier moments, such as one where the person I was about to marry asked me out.

*
 
I had lived in a hermit like existence in the following months after my break up with Scorpius. Dad took the ‘avoid Rose at all costs’ approach to it. I didn’t expect much more. Dad didn’t really handle things like feelings very well, so he probably would have made the situation more awkward than it needed to be.

Mum took the no nonsense approach to it, and repeatedly asked me whether I was going to meet up with Albus or Dom, or whether I would like to go and visit Teddy and Victoire’s new home, as it had a lovely library there. Even though she frequently hinted that she was worried about my current behaviour, I still ignored her suggestions. I wasn’t ready for all the staring and gawking at me.

The one time I attempted to leave the house to visit Flourish and Blotts, I was faced with people talking about my breakup and seeing whether I looked upset or not for the entire length of Diagon Alley. As I hated being the centre of attention, this was my idea of hell.

The whispers had finally begun to die down after three months, and Mum finally got her long awaited wish about me socialising again.

Albus had recently acquired a new girlfriend, Amelia Wood, and he was desperate to tell me and Dom all about her, as he claimed she was ‘the one’. I didn’t think much of it, as Albus tended to say that about most girls he dated before splitting up with them a couple of months later. Amelia was an old friend though, as her dad was friends with Uncle Harry, so perhaps there was more to it.

I had finally decided to give into their demands about meeting up for a drink in The Leaky Cauldron, and the three of us had arranged to meet there after work on Friday.

The night looked like it was going to be a typical one for us three. Dom practically inhaled fire whiskey shots, and ended up intoxicated within the first hour of us being there. She was forcing random pub goers to dance with her to an old Weird Sisters’ song which had been up on repeat for the past half hour.

Albus was the different type of drunk, and he looked as if he was about to fall asleep in the middle of the pub despite it only being eight o’clock. I was glad about that. It would at least give me something to tease him about later.

I was about to head off home. Being the only one who wasn’t in an inebriated state, falling asleep or dancing with old warlocks was not nearly as amusing as the others thought it was, when I was poked in the back. I turned around to see who it was, and my face lit up when I recognised the poker.

“Xander! What brings you here?” I asked. Even though he was a Slytherin, I had gotten to know him rather well throughout Hogwarts due to him being Scorpius’ best friend, and I had grown to like him a lot.

“I just thought I would pop in after work. I’m a code breaker at Gringotts now,” Xander announced proudly. “I was sorry to hear about you and Scorpius.”

“Don’t be sorry; all good things have to come to an end. Let me buy you a drink, we need to have a proper catch up.” We did need one, now I thought about it. I had missed his company during the breakup.

I was glad that I had decided to stay and talk to him, as I had enjoyed myself reminiscing about Hogwarts. I gave him a friendly hug at the end of the evening, and Xander surprised me greatly by giving me a light peck on my cheek.

I just blushed and headed over to Dom, who was clearly in need of help, as she had collapsed on the floor and appeared to be joining Albus in sleeping. I didn’t really know what to do with Xander. The only other person I had kissed was Scorpius, and then the feelings were mutual.

With Xander though, I was a bundle of confusion.

“Hey Rose, you don’t erm, fancy getting dinner sometime next week,” Xander spluttered out from the bar, and he had a very hopeful expression plastered onto his face.

“Erm, yeah, sure.” I guess it couldn’t hurt. I had enjoyed his company, after all. It would get my persistent mother off my case, and that would certainly be an added benefit.

*

Now I thought about it, that night was probably one of the strangest ones I have ever had. I think the piece de resistance was when I apparated Dom back to her parents’ house. When Aunt Fleur opened the door, Dom promptly vomited over the entire doormat. Aunt Fleur was not very amused to say the least, and Dom still turned bright red at any mention of that night.

That night also meant that Xander and I began dating. I had more mutterings when I started seeing him, about how he was my rebound, and how they preferred Scorpius to him. But they weren’t living my life, so I guess that their opinion didn’t matter too much to me.

I looked down at my dress and saw that smudges of green had blended in with the ivory hue. Victoire wouldn’t be pleased if she saw it. She considered any damage of any piece of clothing equal to blasphemy, and tended to spew out her annoyance of it all in French. I hoped dearly that the pregnancy hormones would calm her down rather than let her dragon like temper lose.

Then again, when Teddy arrived late home from work once he found Victoire in a state of panic. Apparently she had considered contacting Uncle Harry and asking him to send some Aurors out to look for him.

I didn’t exactly look like a bride to be right now. As well as the damage to my dress, my hair had begun to fall out of the intricate style it had been placed in just a few hours ago, and my makeup had been ruined in my attempt to flee the others.

I looked up at Dom, and saw that she had begun to head back towards me.

“I saw those grass stains on your dress. Vic’s going to kill you, you know that right?” Dom asked with an evil glint in her eye.

“Yes I know. I could try and scrougify it, but I heard that the spell doesn’t work as well on silk, and it can wear away at it. I don’t think doing that will help me anymore with Vic.” I was glad that Dom appeared to be side-tracked for now; it was just a matter of how long I could keep this up for.

“Don’t worry we’ll go and see Scorpius first. That way, even if Victoire does kill you, at least you’ve had it out with him before you die,” Dom replied with an even more evil glint in her eye.

“No it's fine, we can talk to with Victoire first. I’m sure she won’t mind too much, and she can even fix my hair and makeup at the same time,” I replied, hoping dearly that Dom would give into my request.

“Rose, if you seriously think I’m that much of a pushover, you’re getting me confused with Albus. Now come on, the sooner we get this over with, the better it will be, and then we can get on with the wedding, and you and Xander can go riding off into the sunset.” Dom sounded deadly serious about the last part.

“Since when were Xander and I riding off into the sunset? I think Albus’ romantic spirit has rubbed off onto you.”

“I’m just trying to make this a more pleasant experience for you, that’s all. Now come on.” Dom grabbed hold of my arm and pulled me off in the direction of The Burrow. I guess I would have to face fate then.

It was strange to see how determined Dom was for me to have it out with Scorpius. She never seemed that keen on Xander for some reason. Neither did my parents to be honest, I could still vividly recall telling them about my engagement to him.

*
 
I twisted the ring nervously around my finger. I didn’t really know why I was so nervous; it wasn’t as if the news I was going to tell them was bad. I had already been through telling them about my first engagement though, and then to go through the horror of it all again wasn’t something I had really planned for.

A beam of light hit the large diamond in the ring, and that caused the light to refract off it and create a spectrum of colour on the wall opposite to me. I didn’t particularly like the ring; it was too flashy for my liking, with it being a diamond in a pink hue which was a colour I detested. That, and its size. It meant whenever I performed delicate tasks at work, it would always bump into things, and cause me to lose my focus. I tried to avoid wearing it, but Xander seemed hurt when I wasn’t, and I didn’t want to make him upset.

“So Rose, what’s this important news you’ve got to tell us then?” Dad asked with a nervous tone to his voice. I could understand why he sounded like that. The last family discussion we had was Hugo telling us he had given up his dream to become a potioneer, and he was joining a Celestina Warbeck tribute group. We all thought he was joking until he suddenly broke into 'A Cauldron Full of Hot, Strong Love', then that shut us all up.

“Er, Xander and I are getting married,” I burst out. I had decided just to come out with it, in the hope that the bluntness would be received better than me dodging round the subject in hand.

My parents sat there with stunned expressions on their faces. The lock tick of the clock was the only thing which broke it until Mum spoke up.

“That’s err, great news, Rose,” she replied, not sounding as if the news was great, but more like she had just received news that someone had died.

“Yes, it’s wonderful; will we be seeing you up the aisle this time?” Dad asked nervously. Trust him to make a joke out of news like this.

“Dad, you know why Scorpius and I didn’t marry, so please don’t bring it up again. It was a bit of a shock if I’m honest, but we’ve been dating for over a year now, and it just seemed right, so I said yes.”

“I think it was a shock for us as well. We had no idea that you and Xander were so serious with one another. Are you definitely sure about this?” Mum asked tentatively. Of course it would be her who broached the awkward part. I knew that she preferred Scorpius, but I sometimes wished that she wasn’t so open in her favouritism.

“Yes I’m sure, why else would I say yes. I know this may seem like a big step to you two, but I feel that it’s the right thing to do. Look, I have to go. Dom and Victoire want to take me to Paris to go dress shopping, and you know what those two are like, so I couldn’t refuse. I’ll see you soon,” I replied before sweeping out of the room.

Everything I just said was a total lie. I didn’t need to meet the other two for at least another hour, and it didn’t feel like the right thing to do. Well, not the right thing for me to do right now. Perhaps if we had dated longer it would feel more right, but right now it didn’t. I just hoped that my feelings of doubt would fade over time.

*
 
The feelings of doubt didn’t fade. If anything, they grew stronger. It just made me withdraw from the world, as I didn’t know how to deal with them. I thought if I didn’t do anything about them, it would make it better. It didn’t.

I guessed this showed how bad not thinking things through could be. If I had thought through breaking up with Scorpius more, perhaps I would still be with him. Or perhaps if I had thought about what might have happened if I said no when Xander asked me to marry him, we would still be happily dating, not engaged with me trying to avoid him, and with him trying to ask whether I was ok or not.

Then I could think about every action I’ve ever done, and it wouldn’t help me in anyway at all. The action has happened, and I couldn't anything to prevent it from not happening. I would just have to face whatever fate had in store for me. Hopefully it would solve the problem of being in love with two people at the same time.



Author Note: So you get to learn more about Rose and Xander in this chapter, and I hoped you liked it! I think the next one will be the last, though there may be an epilogue/6th chapter, I still haven’t made up my mind!

As always a review would be lovely, as I would love to know your thoughts on this chapter!


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