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An Irrevocably Lost Soul by maddyishere12345
Chapter 4 : The After Effects
 
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 2


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 Draco:

 

            Such a stupid fucking asshole! Can’t keep your mouth shut for five goddamn seconds!

 

            I am without a doubt wearing my rug at the end of my bed down to nothing; I’ve been pacing for the last hour and a half. After Granger let me in on her tid bit of information, I stared at her stairwell in absolute, disbelieving shock. It was almost as if I thought my mind was playing tricks on me and she was going to be standing there saying it was all a joke.

 

But it wasn’t.

 

Not at all.

 

            Suddenly, all the things he said about Granger came flooding back to me.

            “Uh, yeah I guess we went on a ‘date’.” he smirked at the last part.

            “Oh, and one more thing; if she gives you any more lip show her who’s boss.”      

           

 

            The bastard was practically showing it off! How didn’t I notice? It was so fucking obvious!

 

At this point I was seething; I ran to my room and punched everything. A punch to the sadistic git, a punch for Granger, a punch for Weasel, a punch for Potter, and the most painful punch of all I saved for myself. For breaking a promise, for being a complete asshole like she said, and letting that prick into this common room. When my hand was all bloodied and there were more than enough holes in the wall I had to tend to, I stopped. Only to arrive to the point of my never ending pacing; I took a chance glance at the clock, one thirty AM.

 

            I wonder what she’s doing in there. Probably thinking of, and inventing new and invasively clever foul names for myself. Wouldn’t blame her in the slightest.

 

            Finally, I gave up and pulled my silk sheets over my body and tried my best to close my eyes and sleep.


 


 


            Waking up the next morning I heard the distant sound of the portrait door closing. Looking up at the clock; I frowned, it was only six thirty. Breakfast didn’t even start until seven thirty. When I finished getting ready and left for breakfast the only thought roaming around in my head was just how much I missed her singing this morning.


 

 

Hermione:

 

            I made sure to get up extremely early so I wouldn’t have to confront Malfoy. As I made my way out of the portrait and into the hallways, I started walking to my hidden alcove near the Astronomy Tower. Eventually, I pulled back the curtain hiding the little window seat and made myself comfortable looking out the window. I mulled over the events of last night.

            Of course, yet another secret practically pushed into the hands of Malfoy. I’m really asking for it.  I can’t for the slightest second believe I ever, in a million years, ever thought Malfoy would turn sympathetic. He is and will forever and always be a slimy, egotistical, ferret faced, and arrogant bastard. Shouldn’t have doubted that stereotype one bit.

 

            Looking down at my watch I was only slightly surprised at the fact that I had been mentally berating Malfoy all morning; therefore, missing breakfast entirely. Quickly, I made my way to potions. As if Lucifer himself had been put on Earth, I walked right into potions only to find that the room was separated into scarlet and gold along with green and silver. Green and fucking silver! Potions with the Slytherins, how beautifully ironic. Seeming as how I was the last to enter the potions room everyone at once turned to stare at me. Most were oggling in my direction; I caught a few sneers from the girls like Parkinson for example. Rolling my eyes I found a table next to Harry and Ron, making sure to refrain from meeting a heated stare from the Head Boy. When I sat with a humph, Harry and Ron turned to face me again.

 

            “Where were you at breakfast Hermione?” asked Harry, “We were worried.”

 

            I gave him a sympathetic smile, admitting to myself it was a little forced considering this had been the first time they’ve actually talked to me in days. “Daydreaming mostly. No need to worry Harry everything is completely fine.”

 

            “I feel like we haven’t talked in forever!” Exclaimed Harry, I chanced a glance at Ron and saw him nodding eagerly. 

 

            Glad we’re all worry about Hermione now.

 

            “Probably because we haven’t.” I said a little more forward than I intended.

 

Harry gave me a look of inquisition, but before he could retort Ron butted in. “Yeah I have loads of homework I need you to check!”

 

            That’s why they’re talking to me now. Explains things.

 

 “I’m glad I can finally come back to use.” My bluntness was poorly covered when I saw the two boys exchange a glance.

 

Luckily Slughorn interrupted and started the lesson. He was going on and on with basic rules that we obviously knew since we were in technically eighth year. Finally, after drowning on for twenty minutes, my head shot up at the first mention of assigned, different house partners. Oh the joys of Hogwarts. Listening intently for my name, I almost let out a yelp of laughter when Ron was paired with Pansy Parkinson, Ron just sneered.

           

            Deserved everything that girl gives him. At least for today.

 

            My half smile fell straight off my face when Slughorn metaphorically stabbed me in stomach multiple times with the name of my partner

 

            Hermione Granger and Jacob Eddings.

 

            And I knew right then it was going to be one hell of a fucking year.

 

Draco:

 

           

            I watched as I saw her half smile at Weasley’s partner choice, I couldn’t help but stifle a laugh also. Suddenly, I saw her expression quickly exchange from amusement to pain then horror; these all were quickly stoned off as her face went expressionless.  Reluctantly, she stood up and walked over to Jacob Eddings spot; he smirked at her and she flinched. Knowing what I know now all I wanted to do was bang that kid’s head into the wall, then behead him and feed him to the giant squid. The even darker side of me wanted to Avadra his ass. My steely glare was taken off the black haired boys head and focused on Slughorn who just called my name out with some other Gryffindor girl. The girl waved me over and to my relief she was sitting behind Granger, this way I could keep a close eye on the asshole.

           

 

Granger sat all the way on the right side of her seat, with the seat pushed up to the right side of their desk. Of course Eddings just had to slide right up next to her though; she physically flinched at his close proximity. My fists were clenching and unclenching frantically, trying to control my rising anger. Slughorn kept droning on and on about what we would be doing with our new partners this year; I didn’t hear hardly any of it. I was too preoccupied with the hand of the boy in front of me creeping towards Granger from beneath the table. By now, I could feel my teeth grinding inside my deadly clenching jaw. Although I couldn’t understand why I was so mad.

           

It’s just because of what he did to her. That’s why I’m acting like this… yeah definitely.

 

            If I was being honest with myself I knew there was no way in hell that was true, not one bit.

 

            His hand had finally made it over to Granger’s thigh and she jumped, consequently knocking down the ink bottles on the desk to the ground. Everyone turned and stared at her, Granger was wearing a look of horror and annoyance, but one look at Jacob’s face showed the impression he was very proud of himself.  Doing everything thing I could not to punch his smug smirk off his face I took out my wand and cleaned up all the ink; this took the concentration off Granger long enough to compose herself. When everything was said and done, Slughorn went back to teaching; it looked like Granger and I just made it through the class. The bell rang through my ears, but my eye caught Granger stand up quickly and bolt out of the room. I planned to walk out of the room and search for her, but I saw Potter and Weasley exchange a glance; Potter shot up and left the classroom. Deciding that was probably for the best, I made my way to Herbology.

 

 

Hermione:

 

            I could feel his vile, disgusting hands inching towards me; everything about his presence I was aware of. When his grimy skin made contact with my knee, I wasn’t as prepared as I was expecting. His rough hands touched my knee and I had to hold in the urge to gag or jump out of my seat. Suddenly, I felt a hard squeeze and I lost it; I jumped and dumped over the ink bottle. Everyone’s eyes turned to me, I didn’t know what to say or do; then I heard Malfoy picking up the mess for me and I silently thanked him. Even though I was still furious with him, I was glad the attention was off me so I could get m emotions in control.

 

Finally, that godforsaken bell rang, I sprinted out of that classroom faster then I think my feet could logically carry me. Quickly I found a secluded passageway fairly close to the transfiguration classroom. God only knows what happens if I miss another class, McGonagall will most likely have my head. I slid down the wall and curled my knees to my chest, resting my chin upon my jean covered legs. Sitting there for merely minutes I heard the pitter patter of footsteps coming toward me, somehow I knew it was Harry. He seriously has a problem with well being of others even though he obviously doesn’t give a rat’s ass about them. That’s Harry, forever the hero. I do miss my closeness with Harry, all the time actually, so close we were practically family; or so I thought. Apparently, time together with only each other when we were in the Forest of Dean didn’t outweigh booting me out for good. Who wants a stuck up bookworm around right? Actually, as I think about it, it should be Harry and I against Ron! That little coward left when things got hard, when things weren’t going his way! And Harry dumped my ass? No fucking way, I wasn’t going to deal with that. I stuck by him when things were horrid everywhere else.  What had Harry ever done for me? Saved me from a troll, after him and Ron being the reason I was in the stalls in the first place? Shunned me for telling McGonagall about his broom? Giving me relationship advice that didn’t help whatsoever, for someone I now clearly loathed with all my being. Besides Sodding Eddings of course, like I said, deepest pits of Hell is where that one’s going. So what did Harry do? Dropped the brains of the trio. Bloody pricks all of them. This is my final decision, join the fucking covenant. Wait, that means my vulgarities have to be taken down quite a bit; that’s alright, I can meet them halfway. Anything to get away from these conniving, idiotic, and infuriating bastards

 

“Hermione?”

 

“What Harry?”

 

His faced showed confusion, “What’s wrong?”

 

I scoffed, “What the hell isn’t wrong Harry?” I meant it half sincere.

 

“I don’t know what we’re talking about Hermione.”

 

“You wouldn’t, would you?” My voice was slightly bitter, I couldn’t give two shits.

 

“What’s that suppose to mean?” His words held bits of anger.

 

“Harry, when was the last time you talked to me? Besides today.”

 

He sat for a full minute, I counted.

 

“Don’t get me wrong Harry, you two aren’t the only thing that seems to be fucking me over these days.”

 

I saw his jaw clench, good I wanted a confrontation.

 

“What the bloody hell is that suppose to mean?” His words were laced with anger.

My voice raised as a result as well, “Oh I don’t know, did I not just prove to you that we haven’t spoken since two weeks after the war, we’re not counting the Weasley’s either.”

 

“So you’re throwing a tantrum because we haven’t talk to you? It works both ways Hermione! ” he yelled.

 

“It’s not a tantrum Harry and you know it. Did you ever think maybe I needed someone to talk to me? That I shouldn’t be the one fixing everything every time? I need help too Harry!”

 

“What could have possibly gone wrong with your life? You have the PERFECT life!”

 

“What is with everyone saying that! My life is shit and you know why you wouldn’t know Harry? Because you’re the worst fucking friend someone could ask for! I thought we were close, but apparently I was horribly wrong. I stuck by you, through and through. What’d you do for me Harry? Left me on the street to rot!” I dropped my tone, but kept it menacing, “Harry I might’ve not defeated Voldemort, but I sure as hell did everything else. Where would you even be without me? Don’t take it as superiority; I want you to mull that one over. Maybe that’s why you did it, befriended me. Nerdy friend will do anything to be in a group. So maybe you two took advantage of that, but the least you could fucking do is talk to me once in awhile because we all have problems Potter and I listened to every one of yours. I took shit from your girlfriend when she thought we were dating. Yeah, she isn’t as harmless as she looks. She only talks to me nowadays because of my new clothes. A keeper that one is. How much good did you think the Forest of Dean did me on that front? None at all Harry, but I stuck it out. For our friendship because I cared about my friend. Obviously, it wasn’t mutual.”

 

Many emotions crossed his face pain, guilt, anguish, and anger. Luckily for me, the last one was anger being the one he decided to start on.

 

“Your selfish you know that?”

 

I cut him off, “Oh yeah Harry, skipping school to find Hocruxes with you was bloody narcissistic.”

 

“Just let me talk Hermione!” He bellowed. I held out my hands sarcastically to mimic him to go on, “You’ve turned into a bloody bitch. Ever think that’s why we don’t talk to you?”

 

He paused and I assumed he wanted an answer, prick. “Name one thing before today that I’ve been a bitch to you about Potter.” It came out smooth, calm, and confident.

 

He started to think, I knew he wasn’t coming up with anything remotely insightful.

 

“Can’t think of one? Weird, I wonder why.” My voice was laced with menace and sarcasm.

 

Suddenly Ron’s voice appeared. Oh he so didn’t want me to bring him in this conversation.

 

“Why think of a past reason when you’re a package deal right now?”

 

“Oh, please indulge me Ron with that thick skull of yours what you’re hinting at here.”

 

“Well you’re a bitch now, as well as a slut. Whoring yourself out to everyone insight!”

 

“You’re mentally insane! We’ve been here three days! Who could I possibly ‘shag’ in that time you idiot?”

 

“Eddings can be one.”

 

I felt myself tense. Bloody wanker, his head was getting cursed off right now.

 

“Yeah Ron I fucked Eddings. You’re mental.” I deadpanned

 

They both cringed at my bluntness.

 

“Bet you gave it to Malfoy as well.”

 

“Yup Ron, it was bloody brilliant.”

 

His face burned crimson, “See! I told you! Whore!”

 

“Are you that stupid, or does painfully obvious sarcasm not process in that small brain of yours?”

 

“Whatever, you’re just a Mudblood and we would rather not talk to you.”

 

The tension was palpable. It was odd because it stung less then when Malfoy said it.

 

“Glad we defeated Voldemort aren’t we Harry.” He flinched, “I’m glad this is how we turned out, could have wasted my life on you bastards. Have fun with your homework, I won’t be around to help you. Ever.”

 

I saw looks of regret and guilt on their faces; it disgusted me. Literally, I needed to vomit.

 

Starting to walk away I heard Ron call out, “I didn’t mean that Hermione. Let’s just put this behind us.”

 

I stopped dead in my tracks. Was he really that much of an idiot? Like I was going to forgive them seconds later for calling me the one thing we fought in the war to stop? No way, it wasn’t going to be that easy. I knew that even I did forgive them in this moment, everything would be different. There would be no set in stone friendship, everything would be strained. We’d just end up apart anyway, and that’s the scenario that I actually chose to accept their mediocre apology; which I sure as hell would never do.

 

Slowly turning around I looked into their sheepish faces. They really thought I was going to be forgiving about this.

 

“You know you’re right Ron.” Their faces lit up and I gave a devilish smirk worthy of Malfoy, “Except I don’t think we should put this argument behind us I think we should put this friendship behind us. Have a nice life.” With that I turned and walked into transfiguration.

 

The rest of the day was extremely dull; classes didn’t hold that spark they used to. My past craving for knowledge had diminished and I blamed everyone else for it. It’s like suddenly NEWT’s were the last thing on my mind, homework becoming a thing of the past. Sure, I still did some of it; I even knew all of the material. It seemed the old Hermione Granger was setting herself up for the chance that her life would spiral out of control so she worked ahead so much the future problems wouldn’t be piled on top of the recent. That’s the one thing I liked about her, but also resented too. If I was preparing for it, why couldn't I know it at least was going to happen? Actually, I do have an answer to that; life could be a fucking bitch when it wanted.

 

 

 

A/N: I know I suck and the last time I updated was in August. I don't have an excuse besides lack of motivation. Sometimes I look at this stroy and think that it will be a great day to write, but most of the time schoolwork is in the way and I never feel like writing. I only write when I feel determined because if not then I'm writing out of obligation, resulting in immensely horrid chapters. So, here is the new chapter, leave comments. Good, bad doesn't matter. Sorry about the super long waits. 


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