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Life Definitely Ain't Rosy by katti4493
Chapter 6 : Two Days to Go...
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 1

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I woke up the next morning to Gracie’s muffled snores and Rose flicking through some monster “light reading”. Once I had been bubbly and carefree with my life ahead of me. Now it felt as if the world was going to end in two days time, and I had absolutely no idea how to stop it or what to do.

And the weirdest thing about me, when something is grave and serious, I distance myself and pretend it’s all not real, just a figment of my overactive imagination. That way, I manage to stop myself vomiting over Lilith every time she simpers and kisses Teddy in earshot of me, and I can bear to see Teddy looking at her adoringly every time they are together.

At moments like this, I always thought of my parent’s generation. At my age, they were fighting and dying to save the Wizarding world; and yet here I am, unable to do anything about Lilith. I felt absolutely pathetic.

At least I have Gracie to keep me sane. Well, not quite sane, but not insane. Maybe un-insane is the word I’m looking for.

“It’s a great plan!” she claimed, as several of my disaffected cousins and I sat in a huddled silence around her, “I really don’t see what the problem is!”

Rose laughed at this; her snooty little laugh that made her sound very up herself. “The problem is,” she said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, “is that it sounds mad. Actually, it is mad.”

“Oh,” replied James hurriedly, “stop being anti-social and not getting into the ambiance of the afternoon. You are a Weasley: and everyone knows that because we are descended from purebloods we are all insane inbred cretins. Join in with the madness Rosie! I think it’s a great plan!”

Gracie smiled brilliantly. “We’ve got to go all French Resistance on her ass. We’ve tried moaning, complaining, making up mean songs and Vic and I even resorted to espionage. It’s not been enough. We have to resist; we have to rebel against Lilith and her tyranny. Not just for ourselves but for Teddy! We have to voice our protest!”

“Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more!” James shouted, punching a fist into the air. There were cries of muted support to that, and I was the loudest.

“Right,” said Gracie authoritatively, “everyone has got to wear black; black gloves, black veils, black hats, anything you can find. Roxy, Fred, you are in charge of collecting all the candles in the house, even those stupid little ones that Vic’s mum uses to make ‘atmosphere’ in the bathroom. James, I want you to prepare a hymn sheet. What’s your favourite hymn, Vic?”

“Erm…” I mused, “Go for Bread of Heaven.” It’s about Bread, okay. And Heaven. And no, I’m not Welsh. I just didn’t want to pick La Marseillaise because I’m half French. It’s a song about killing the bourgeoisie for Christ’s sake.

That evening, most of the adults (I don’t count myself as one of them yet) went out into Ottery to the Muggle pub, so only the younger generation of Clan Weasley, Teddy, Lilith and Lilith’s bridesmaids who had finally turned up, were left in the house.

Gracie had done everything meticulously. She had tidied up the coffee table in the living room and enlarged it, so it was big enough for me to lay on. She had lit the thousands of candles that had been found all round the room so it stunk the place out. When it was discovered what we were doing, we were going to be in the doghouse.

Everyone was wearing black, and was lying on the coffee table, my eyes closed, a bunch of flowers that Albus had uprooted from the garden in my hands. The funeral of my love life was about to take place.

Gracie had got hold of a massive encyclopaedia, which she had opened in front of her. “Dearly beloved. We are gathered here today to celebrate the death of Victoire Weasley’s love life.”

I looked up at this. “Celebrate? This is supposed to be a very solemn occasion!”

“Sorry. I meant…erm… we all think it’s very sad that the aforementioned Victoire Weasley is not getting any action.”

There was a laugh at that, to which I gave them all an evil stare.

“Okay,” continued Gracie, “Victoire was once in love…”

“Still am in love…”

“Is still in love with a man named Teddy Lupin, who, unfortunately, has been duped by a “strawberry blonde” by the name of Lilith Marwood into dumping the lovely, saintly Victoire. Therefore, by the power invested in me, to the republic for which it stands, God save our Gracious Queen we hereby now declare Victoire’s love life officially dead. Now let’s sing.”

After much rustling, the sheet music of “Bread of Heaven” appeared, and everyone broke into raucous singing.

“Guide me, O thou great Redeemer,

Pilgrim through this barren land;”

I love this hymn. It’s amazing. So pretty. However, this train of thought was suddenly extinguished when a very unwelcome guest clattered into the room.

Lilith was standing there. She was wearing her wedding dress; the most gorgeous thing I had ever seen, with layers of net, silk and rhinestones. She had her veil on and everything. I had to begrudgingly admit she looked stunning.

“What the hell is going on here?” she snapped, “I don’t want Bread of Heaven at my wedding, trying singing Onward Christian Soldiers if you want to practice. But I don’t think you are really going to be improving your caterwauling.” Suddenly she spotted the candles, that everyone was dressed in black, me on the coffee table and Gracie looking quite shifty.

“What are you doing?”

Silence descended under Lilith’s withering stare. But I was not going to kowtow to her anymore.

“We are mourning my love life,” I said sitting up, very much alive, “and the fact that you stole Teddy from me!”

Then the world shook. Teddy stepped through the door.

“What?” he asked, incredulously, “you think that Lilith stole me away?” Gracie stood there like a goldfish, her mouth open in shock, as I turned beetroot. I tried to say something, but nothing came out.

“Are you insulting Lilith?” he shouted, suddenly very angry. I tried to remember it was the love potion talking as he stepped forward, looking as if he was going to kill me. However, James leapt to his feet and shoved Teddy backwards.

“Teddy, just calm down!”

But pandemonium had already erupted. As Teddy wobbled backwards, he knocked over one of mum’s chanting candles and it fell into Lilith’s dress. Layers of netted skirts and petticoats suddenly went up in flames.

Lilith let out a high-pitched scream as my cousins leapt away from the mini-inferno. It was Al who acted first; he whipped out his wand and shouted “Aguamenti!” This put out the flames but Lilith’s dress had been burnt to the knees and the rest of the dress had turned black.

In one quick second she burst into tears. “I hate you Victoire!” she bellowed, “why are you trying to ruin my wedding?” With that, she dashed out of the room, her face awash with crocodile tears.

“How could you do this? All of you! I thought you were my friends!” shouted Teddy, turning round to look where Lilith had gone. “I’m not even allowed to see the wedding dress, and here it is going up in flames. Why do it? Why be so immature? Especially you Victoire. You cheated on me!”

By the time I shouted, he had already turned around and left the room.

“I’m doing it because she’s drugging you with love potion!”

A/N: Sorry this took so long. Life, eh? So I hope you enjoyed this and I just want to say that the lyrics to the hymn that the characters sing is "Bread of Heaven" the unofficial Welsh National Anthem. Honourable mentions also go to "Onward Christian Soldiers" and the French national anthem. Please read and review!!! Next time...James has a brilliant plan and Victoire and Teddy talk...

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