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Chapter 8 : Emotions
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and let it all out
...cause i was feeling down
now im feeling better.
-Will.I.Am, ft Britney Spears, Scream and Shout
A/N: strong voilence warning
*She was running, running through the halls running away from him. He was after her, she could see the evil aura come off him. Grey, it was the same colour as his eyes.
Running through the corridor, she turned left, dead end. He caught up with her and corned her,
‘’I’ve finally got you were I wanted. Don’t be afraid. I won’t hurt you.’’
She could see the the evil in his eyes, she knew he was lying. She couldn’t be near him, she had to get away and stop whatever he was going to do to her, before it happened.
‘’STUPIFY’’ she shouted.
His wand flipped out of his hand and she elbowed him out of the way before he could do anything. He quickly realised what she was doing and pulled her back, laughing as he done so.
‘’you think that could stop me!’’ he asked her, that laugh piercing through her ears.
He leaned in, just a meer centimetre between him and her.*
Hermione screamed, and bolted up in her bed. No, no, not again, third night in a row now. She slumped down in her bed, and sobbed, each night, more had been adding on, and she knew what it was about, deep down, she knew.
Draco came running into her room, hearing her scream, beads of sweat running down his face from his own nightmare, he barged into Hermione’s room, she looked up-startled.
‘’Malfoy?’’ You’re the last person I need to see right now.
‘’Granger, are you alright? I heard screaming…’’ what do I say?
‘’Im fine, it was just a nightmare.’’ She looked down at her pillow she was hugging, was it really a nightmare?
‘’Are you sure?’’ he stood at the door frame, knowing she was lying. He turned away and walked into the common room.
Closing his eyes, he imagined a mug of hot chocolate, opening his eyes; he saw one was in front of him on the table. He grabbed it, wrapped his hands around it, and sipped it slowly. He looked up at Hermione’s door, and saw that she was standing there, watching him, with a puzzled look on her face.
‘’How…how did you get that?’’ she pointed to the mug of hot chocolate in his hands.
He looked down at the mug and smirked. ‘’wouldn’t you like to know?’’
Hermione’s face fell straight, ‘’Yes actually, I would.’’ She went and sat down opposite him.
‘’ugh fine. Hold on one second. You owe me one now.’’ He smirked again, knowing just what he could ask her.
‘’Fine, but I want the hot chocolate first.’’ She waited for him to get out his wand. Don’t just sit there and close your eyes. do something!
He closed his eyes and imagined a hot chocolate again, but this time with cream. he opened his eyes again, and saw it, he looked down at Hermione’s face, and saw the bewilderment on her face.
Laughing, he asked her, ‘’What?’’
‘’Well, how did you do that?’’ she took the mug and begun licking the cream.
‘’I don’t know, I closed my eyes, imagined it, opened them, and it was there. Must be another Hogwarts trick.’’ He winked and took another sip. ‘’So, this favour you owe me, I have an idea.’’
‘’Wait…it wasn’t a joke?’’ Hermione looked at, weary of what he was about to ask of her.
‘’What did you really dream about?’’ he raised one eyebrow.
‘’Why do you care?’’ let’s see how he responds to that?
‘’don’t answer my question with another question! And I don’t care, Im just intrigued, you have helped me these past two months, I owe you, and I don’t like owing people, so, this is me, paying you back.’’ Hopefully that persuaded her.
‘’It doesn’t matter. I think, it’s just this place, with all the bad memories here.’’ Something switched in Hermione, remembering all the bad memories; she was engulfed with anger and sadness. ‘’wherever I walk, I can place a death of someone I know. I didn’t even want to come back here, but something inside me told me I had to go, for a reason. I don’t know what that reason was. It’s just…eurgh,’’ she sighed, ‘’ I feel like I can’t do anything right. I try and please people, everyone, help them, change for them, nothing’s ever right.’’ Tears started to blur her vision, causing Hermione to knock and spill over her mug of hot chocolate. With the hot liquid touching her skin, she winced. ‘’I can’t even keep this stupid liquid steady in my hands. Everything I do is wrong. Everything.’’
Draco got up, muttered a spell to clean up the mess. ‘’I know how you feel.’’
How, how could you, of all people know how I feel. Why do you even bother to care. Hermione could feel the anger overtaking the sadness in her, it was too much to handle. ’Do you? do you honestly know how I feel? To walk around, naming people who died for you, being tormented still, even after what I done. To be still branded a Mudblood.’’ Draco winced. Hermione’s voiced was raised. ‘’ im still being called a Mudblood after the war. I’ve been tormented all of my wizarding life, and its torture. My parents…my parents don’t know who I am anymore. Before the war, I obliviated their memory so they were not in harm’s way. I went back in the summer, to find they were dead. DEAD. They died… they died in one of the silliest ways, do you know how they died?’’ Draco shook his head, stunned at Hermione’s sudden outburst. ‘’They died in a car accident. Someone went into the back of them, the car flipped, and they died. I didn’t even get to say goodbye to them. I have no one. Harry’s off with Ginny, and Ron, I lost Ron the moment I fell for him. All my life, I’ve been labelled. Even before I was a witch. I struggle to sleep at night because I fear my dreams will become a reality. I get up to 3 hours sleep, then I wake for you. I don’t even know why I wake for you. I get so scared. ‘’ tears started streaming out of her eyes. ‘’I hate being alone at night, im scared of getting hurt. Ive been hurt so much. Ron, my parents, Voldermort, your stupid aunt, and you.’’ she took her sleeve and wiped her eyes.
Draco sat there, frozen, still processing what Hermione had been saying, ‘’me?’’
Hermione sighed once more. ‘’Yes, you. All of the crap you gave me these past years, its left a scar. And now, I have an actual scar, and that just makes it worse. Merlin, it makes it a lot worse. I have to see it every day, and every day, it reminds me of what I am. ‘’
‘’I have one too you know.’’ Draco held the place were his dark mark is.
‘’Yes, I know. But, I don’t know anymore. Everyone just seems to have someone, and then there is me, the brightest witch of our age, lonely, and talking her heart out to someone that hates her.’’
Draco looked up at Hermione, hurt. I don’t hate you. I never have. ‘’I don’t hate you.’’
‘’Yes you do, ive seen the way you look at me.’’ Hermione put her head in her hands.
‘’It’s not hate.’’
‘’Oh, because Draco Malfoy doesn’t hate a mudblood.’’
‘’I told you, don’t say that word. I hate everything about it. ‘’
‘’Eurgh, im sorry.’’ She lifted her head from her hands, and looked at him in the eye.
‘’No, im the one who should apologise. For everything. I was stupid, and immature. I thought being a death eater would be fun. But I knew it was wrong the first moment I saw someone killed. I can’t even look at Dumbledore’s portrait outside, because It just reminds me of what I nearly done to him. Just look Hermione, I am, I am so sorry for everything ive ever done to you.’’
Hermione looked down, wait, did he just, no, he couldn’t of? ‘’Malfoy…’’
‘’You just called me Hermione.’’
He looked at her in the eyes, shit, what did I just do. ‘im sorry.’’ And with that, he fled towards his bedroom and shut the door behind him.
He laid down on his bed, going over what just happened.
*’I hate being alone at night, im scared of getting hurt. I’ve been hurt so much. Ron, my parents, Voldermort, your fucking aunt, and you.’ *
Im so sorry Hermione, I never knew how much I hurt you. I didn’t mean to, I never meant to hurt you this much. I’ve changed. Im a different person, I thought you started to see that, but I guess not. He laid there, staring at the top of his poster bed, waiting for sleep to fall upon him. Nothing.
Watching him run to his bedroom, she sat down by the fire and started to weep. Why did I have to say anything, why couldn’t I of just kept it to myself. Im sorry Draco. I’ve screwed up our…friendship. if we even had one. She got up, looked around, imagined the mugs were gone, and walked up to her bedroom, and wept again, feeling lonelier than ever.
After some time, she heard the door creak open and Draco popped his head round. He studied her, he saw her eyes puffy, bloodshot and swollen. You’ve been crying. ‘’Hermione, I want you to know, im sorry.’’ He walked in, and sat down on the end of her bed, cautious of his actions.
She smiled, and blew her nose, ‘’it’s fine. I shouldn’t have said anything.’’ She nodded her head, and muttered a spell to make her look decent.
‘’I shouldn’t of ran off, I got scared.’’ He frowned, weathering he should carry on.
‘’Why did you get scared?’’ the look of seriousness and care in Hermione’s eyes told Draco he could trust her.
He sighed. ‘’Because every time I start caring for someone; something bad always happens.’’
‘’What do you mean?’’ she turned to face him, so they were sitting opposite on the bed.
‘’Well…I once had someone, before Parkinson, when I was happy. She was so important to me, I cared for her so much, and she cared for me. Our friendship bloomed into something more. She made me happy, no one makes me happy. She was a witch, but she wasn’t a pureblood, she was a mu…you know what I mean. I introduced her to my father and mother, and my father liked her. Later that night, he asked me whether she was a ‘pure blood’ and I said no, at this he got outraged and went off to look for her. Later that night, I got an owl from her mother. My father killed her.’’ Draco’s face was emotionless. ‘’he killed her, all because she wasn’t good enough for him. Since then, I try not to care, otherwise…otherwise that person will be hurt. That’s why, for these years, I tormented you, because he had spies around the school, reporting back to him. Whenever I wasn’t being good enough, I would get a beating, or the cruciatus curse. I couldn’t stand it anymore. It was my only escape, I miss her though, blood shouldn’t mean anything to people, it certainly doesn’t mean anything to me anymore.’’
Whoa, that’s…horrible. ‘’Im sorry, if I had known, I wouldn’t of slapped you.’’ That should lighten the mood. She smirked at him.
‘’That was a good slap actually, it hurt quiet a lot.’’ He grinned, ‘’but don’t remind me’’ he laughed, and then looked at her. ‘’Hermione,’’
‘’Hermione, can we be friends?’’ he looked serious.
Friends, friends with Draco Malfoy, why not? ‘’Sure. Friends it is.’’ She smiled at him.
Not knowing where this would go, or where it would lead. She was glad Draco and herself were friends.
For the first time in months, neither one of them felt alone.
A/N: Welllll hellooo there!
i cant thank you guys enough. on the day i posted this up for validation, i had recieved 2624 reads. thats just...wow.
what do you think of this chapter and its feels and emotions. please rate and review.
is it to soppy?
i cried writing it, i looked a mess XD its worth it though, how did it make you all feel? xx
LOTS AND LOTS OF LOVEEEE~ SlightObession xx
Later A/N: hi guys, i posted up this chapter last weekm but it got rejected. im SO sorry <2
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