That was it, I had had enough, why were they doing this? When I reached the bottom of the stairs Rose was nowhere to be seen, at the time I was annoyed but looking back I am glad that she wasn't there. Who knows what I could have done to her?
I can't believe he actually believed her. Okay she may have has three people confirming her story but why does that mean that he should believe her? Maybe it had something to do with the fact that Rose is a prefect, top student and all round suck up. Wasn't it obvious that I was telling the truth?
She is so two faced, she acts so innocent and sweet but she is just a violent bitch. One day she will end up getting what she deserves and I won't be there to help her pick up the pieces.
To top it all off Professor Muddlepod is organising counselling sessions for me, we'll that's fucked up to say the least. I don't need a counsellor, I just need my 'friends' to get off their high horses so we can make up, or at least that's what I think I want to do.
The next morning it was quidditch practise again, I was really not in the mood but I had missed the past three training sessions so I thought I ought to go really. When I arrived James said nothing even though I was late.
I noticed Charlie's eyes momentarily flicker towards the thin red cuts in my hands. The cuts were surprisingly bad seeing as they were only inflicted by fingernails.
The actual practise went awfully. I couldn't be bothered to look for the snitch. I was too busy wondering when the next party would be, I really needed a drink.
Just as I was thinking this, it impacted. The bludger hit me hard in the ribs, knocking me off of my broom. I may have only fallen a few feet but it still hurt. I looked around for the culprit though I could already guess. Only Fred and Charlie, as the team's beaters had clubs and however much Fred may have hated me he wouldn't have done something so stupid. I picked myself up from the floor and stormed towards him, the whole team had now landed.
I wanted to punch him so badly, but he got there first and shoved me roughly onto my back.
"What are you doing? Are you an actual moron, you meant to be my brother?!" I screeched at him.
"Well, you're no sister of mine..." And with that he walked away. Right now all I wanted to do was run into the forest, find a bit of grass then curl up and cry but I couldn't.
"Esmie, captain's office, now" I heard a voice yell, it was James. I hastened to follow him back through the changing rooms to the minuscule captains office.
I sat down opposite him and he continued, "I'm am sorry but...we can't have you on the team."
"What?" I yelled, "you should be chucking Charlie off of the team not me, he's a fucking psychopath!"
"This is my final word, you're out" and with that's grabbed my broom and ran out of the office and back towards the castle.
Really? After everything that had happened already I was getting chucked off of the quidditch team too?
They need me though, I was the best, and I still am the best. There was no chance they could win without me but I was just kidding myself. I wasn't that great and they didn't need me, I already knew who my replacement would be. Lily Potter. She would finally get the position on the team that she had always dreamed of getting. I yelled in anger scaring a few passing first years as I made my way through the corridors.
"Esmie? Esmie James?" Asked a voice, I turned around and almost chucked my broom at the person talking to me. However just as my broom was about to leave my hands, I stopped myself. I didn't know who it was or why she was talking to me.
"Why? How did you guess?" I asked defensively
"Oh well not many people have blue hair it's a bit distinctive. I'm Georgie Halloway, school counsellor" she replied smiling cheerfully.
"Well...in that case I am most certainly not Esmie James, bye!" And with that I turned around and tried to scarper.
"Oh no you don't!" Called Georgie, I sighed stopping in my tracks and turning to face her again.
"What do you want?"
"You've missed the last three counselling sessions I have organised, I sent you letters to tell you."
It was true, I had received letters telling me when the counselling sessions would be but I had merely given them to Stottle to rip up and he had obliged.
"Come on Esmie, follow me"
I had hoped that I would be able to sneak off if she was walking ahead, but she already knew what I was trying to do and insisted that I should walk alongside her. Damn school counsellors knowing our tricks, then again she didn't look like she had been long out of school. She could be no older than about 22.
She finally stopped outside a small wooden door that was so boring and non-descript that I wasn't surprised I hadn't noticed it before. When I entered the room however it was like an explosion of colour and madness. There were pictures of ducks everywhere and sat in the corner of the room was a large tank in which were swimming thereof the strangest creatures I had ever seen. Georgie, seeing my confusion explained. The creatures were axolotls called Jeremy, Jessica and Jesobel and to think that I thought having a cat called Aristotle was weird. Clearly I was wrong.
We sat in silence for a few minutes.
"I don't self-harm!" I blurted out.
"Oh I know," I replied calmly.
"But! You need to understand, I never...wait what?"
"Esmie, I believe you I really do, there is something obviously wrong though. The headmaster has explained everything to me and I don't see what has prompted your sudden change in behaviour"
I suppose she was referring to the lack of appearances in lessons.
"Oh there was..." I started, remembering Charlie's words. Even thinking about it was like a knife in the back.
"What was it Esmie?" Georgie prompted.
"No one knows and no one is going to know" I muttered and with that I jumped up, grabbed my broom and slammed the door as I left.
My heart was pounding it had been the first mention of Charlie's words that I had had and it was just like rubbing salt in the wound.
I couldn't believe how close I had come to telling her, too close.
My ribs were aching fully, I knew the spell to fix broken bones and I used it just in case. The bludger had hit me pretty hard after all. I still couldn't believe it; my own brother had purposely hit the bludger at me. To top it all off he had disowned me, he said I wasn't his sister...my bottom lip began to tremble at the thought. I bit my tongue trying to hold back the tears but it was no use.
I was slumped against the wall when I heard footsteps approaching. I quickly got up and sprinted back to the common room.
The common room and dorms were empty, everyone was still at dinner. I was grateful for the lack of people and went to have a shower in one of the two adjoining bathrooms. It was the one I shared will Evie and Amie, everything that I saw reminded me of them, the bath bombs I got Amie the duck patterned washbasin I had got for Evie. Even the little things just made me miss them so much but there was nothing I could about it.
I locked the bathroom and jumped into the shower, washing off the mud from quidditch practise.
Showers are weird, some people use them for singing practise and others to ponder life's questions or make big decisions. I just couldn't stop thinking over everything that had happened.
I woke up and saw everyone around me getting ready but to be honest i just couldn't be bothered. I felt like this a lot at the moment. Why should I bother if I am just going to have a shit time?
Just then Stottle jumped onto my bed and curled up on my stomach, well I guess that settles it, I can't get up now.
When I finally awoke, I still couldn't be bothered to go to lessons. Instead I just felt the urge to make a sneak trip to Hogsmede. After being friends with Al for 5 years I knew the secret passage ways pretty well. The school caretaker fortunately doesn't know about them, I don't even know his name. I swear he just spends all his time asleep in his office.
The passage way I was going to use was coved by the whomping willow and was therefore impossible to enter unless you knew how. Seeing as lessons were still on, I didn't get caught or stopped as I left the castle and headed to the tree.
I managed to find a suitable stick quite easily and prodded the knot on the tree making it freeze so that I could enter the tunnel leading to the shrieking shack.
After what seemed like hours of waking (which it probably was because I wasn't exactly walking fast) I finally reached the end of the tunnel.
The air was full of dust, choking me with every breath. I hurried up the stairs which creaked disconcertingly as I ran. When I reached the top I turned right into a small which contained a four poster bed. The floor had splatters of very old dried blood on it. It was unknown how the blood got there but there were certainly some interesting rumours.
I bypassed the possible murder scene (okay I am exaggerating a bit, there was hardly any blood) and made my way straight to the window from which the glass had long since been smashed.
I climbed out grabbing onto the roof tiles and balancing on the window ledge. With much effort I scrambled up until I sat on the roof looking down at the village of Hogsmede.
I shuffled my way further up the roof until I reached the chimney which I leant against. The January air was chilly and pulled the sleeves of my jumper further down around my wrists. I was shivering slightly but I didn't care, if I was going to be alone I would rather be here than back at the castle with everyone whispering about me. I wasn't that I cared what they were saying, I did before but now I just went with the attitude that if they were going to say something then they may as well say it loud enough for me to hear too.
Everything had turned to shit but somehow I had adjusted and learnt to cope, not that getting absolutely pissed at every possible opportunity could be counted as coping.
I suppose the alcohol just made me forget everything for a couple of hours but it would all come crashing back the next morning. This didn't deter me however it would just leave ,e yearning for a drink again. It was mucked up.
It got to the point where my teeth were chattering before I decided to move and even then I just went to the three broomsticks. The bar maid was easy going and wouldn't ask me any questions. She brought me a small plate of chips and a butter beer, I wasn't really hungry but I drank the butter beer gratefully before visiting honeydukes to use the secret passageway back to the castle.
The party that evening was a good one, I remember little except getting absolutely trolled and kissing Jake Cartling, he's a desperate 6th year but I was drunk. You can't blame me. Anyway I can do whatever I want; I can kiss him if I want to. I can kiss whoever I want.
I had a killer headache the next day and I ended up yelling at a group of second years to 'move the fuck out of the way' and that is a quote. Bitch please they were going to make me late for Artihmancy. Just to set the record straight I have not turned over a leaf. Artihmancy is the one subject I have always enjoyed and I have promised myself I won't miss an Arithmancy lesson even if I had a crappy hangover like today. Even if I didn't bother in the lessons, I would at least attend.
I shoved past the scattering second years hearing their squeaks of panic and annoyance. Second years need to stop being cocky little shits and respect their elders (in other words they should just stay out of my way.)
I was meant to have Transfiguration but I hated Professor Fenwick and she hated me ever since I went ape shit in her lesson. I didn't turn up to it though why should I? Why should I do anything?
I was just making my way back to the common room when Georgie stopped me. I had been avoiding her since the first counselling thing after the quidditch practise but I wouldn't be able to avoid her this time.
As I sat down she searched for a moment and produced a cake tin in which sat brownies which were shaped like ducks. They were everywhere, on the walls, stationary, brownies she even had a duck shaped clock!
“What’s with the duck theme?”
It’s not like I am against ducks, they are of course the supreme rulers of the world, but ducks are my thing and no one can steal that from me!
“Everything is just so much better when it is shaped like a duck” She laughed, I couldn’t help but agree. Maybe having a counsellor wouldn’t be so bad after all.
“Why did you become a counsellor?” I asked
“Easiest way to spread the epicness of ducks!” she joked but then her smile faded somewhat and I knew she was going to tell me the real reason, “I became a counsellor so I could be a friend to those who need it Esmie”
I nodded. Suddenly everything was quiet the happy atmosphere was replaced with one of sadness because I had realised I was one of those people who needed a friend.
After that I got up abruptly, as I left I heard her call to remind me to come back again but then she muttered something else or at least I think she did. I only just caught her whispering to herself “Sometimes counsellors need friends too”
A/N: So here is chapter 12, I am sorry but I haven't had time to work out the metaphorical mars bar leaderboard so it will just have to wait until next time.
So Esmie has been kicked off of the quidditch team, what do you think.
I feel really bad everytime I write this because I am basically ruining Esmie's life :(
I hope you have enjoyed the chapter and if you could please use the little grey box bellow then it would really be appreciated because I would like to know what you all think whether good or bad.
Thank you very much for reading,
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