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A Little. Clumsy. by Ernie_the_Dino
Chapter 1 : New edition to Camp Hagrid
Rating: 15+Chapter Reviews: 1

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Alex Little x

“C’mon Jazz! It was an accident!” I whined, “Maisie back me up on this!” I turned to my right - git was laughing,
“Yes, I do believe that when Alex set fire to your hair she meant no harm,” Maisie was suppressing a laugh, face going red. Jazz was being as stubborn as ever as we walked to dinner.

This is the treatment I get from two of my best friends, Mason Miles and Jasper Dearborn - better known as Maisie and Jazz to me. Maisie is 6’6” with curly brown hair; brown eyes; a big grin and an ego that could fill the entire quidditch pitch. Jazz on the other hand is 6’2” with floppy blond hair; sea-green eyes enlarged minutely by his nerdy square glasses; and a crooked grin that has many girls swooning - not that he cared much.

“Everyone knows I am the clumsiest person at this school!” I wasn’t exaggerating when I said this,
“I can vouch for that,” Maisie grinned down on my short form - I was promised a growth spurt and so far its fallen short - no pun intended - Five foot one was not classed as normal for most 15-year-olds. Look at my companions for example. “I distinctly remember getting stuck in the infirmary for two weeks when you tripped over your own feet and pushed me down the main staircase, 332 steps by the way, a bruise for each one,”
I growled at him, “When are you going to let that one go?”
“When the bruises fade; it’s been three years,” He added, cheeky git,

“Please please please talk to me Jazz?” I begged Jazz with my best puppy-dog eyes,
Silence, he was more stubborn than a hippogriff, “I’ll bake you a pie?” I offered,
“Yeah right, Al, you can’t cook for toffee,” Maisie mussed my already messy hair. I sent him a death glare.
“Ah, Little, you can’t be intimidating even if you tried,” he laughed, Yes that’s right, the midget’s last name is ‘Little’ - how ironic can you get?

Now I’m not usually a violent person but sure as hell did I feel like kicking his shins in. Instead I fell silent like my mute buddy next to me - He could be a monk if he wanted - saying that, I could too; I’ve been known to go a week without uttering a word to anybody - except the teachers, of course, only when asked a direct question.

“Oh for Merlin’s sake! Not this again, I can’t go weeks without having a conversation with either of you! It just wouldn’t be right!” Maisie could be a tad overdramatic when he wanted to be.

We found our seats at the Ravenclaw table and Jazz and Maisie began piling food onto their plates. I felt like saying ‘Calm down, it’s not going to run off!’ but that would mean talking to Maisie and I had once charmed it to do that so he wouldn’t take it seriously anyway. You should have seen their faces when their pork chops began dancing along the table - priceless!

My other best friend, Dominique ‘Dom’ Weasley was having dinner with her cousins Rose and Roxanne at the Gryffindor table.

Maisie nudged Jazz next to him and he glanced up at something over my left shoulder; he snickered, then frowned, shook his head and went back to his food. I really didn’t want to know what they were saying in their silent communication thing they had going on.

Maisie groaned loudly attracting a few stares, “C’mon Jazz, PLEASE!” Maisie is also an O-class whiner.
Jazz sighed and nodded, “Go on then,” in a disapproving tone.
“Al,” Maisie began, folding his hands under his chin - elbows resting on the table, I looked up from my mash potatoes, raising one neatly plucked black eyebrow [You would not BELIEVE the pain Dom puts me through], gesturing him to continue,
“Would you believe me, if I told you that one of the Wotter’s has been drooling over you for the past few weeks?”
“Which one? Rose's not really my type,” I wrinkled my nose, Jazz chuckled but Maisie just frowned,
“The one in Gryffindor-”
“And that narrows it down!” I rolled my eyes “Next you’re going to say: they have red hair...” - he grabbed my hand - “Don’t turn around!” he hissed as I was about to, he released my hand,
“Why not?” I asked,
“Please,” Jazz scoffed, “Any male who is drooling over a girl does not want to be discovered - it’s Fred by the way,”
“Especially if he think’s he’s being covert,” Maisie added,
“O-kay,” I said slowly, “Wait... So he’s not being covert?” I asked, sort of giddy that my two best friends were talking again,
They both shared a look and then threw back their heads and laughed.
“This is worse than when Jazz had that crush on Faye Wood,” Maisie teased,
“Oi!” Jazz smacked him upside the head,
“Anyway... What is your opinion?” Maisie asked,
“Sorry what?” I blinked - for a Ravenclaw I could be really slow sometimes.
“On Weasley,” Jazz shook his head in disapproval,
“Er- I don’t think I’ve ever actually spoken to him,” I admitted,
“We’ve had classes together for what? Four years?”
“Four years and one month,” Jazz corrected,
Maisie gave him a dirty look before continuing, “And you’ve spent more than one christmas holiday at Dom’s yet not once have you shared a conversation?”
“No.” I was about to go back to my potatoes when I felt an owl land on my shoulder, “Hey there, Archimedes,” I stroked his feathers, he stretched out his leg and I took the note from it,

Alex, Jasper & Mason,
It’s been a while since you three have been to visit me; fancy a cuppa sometime? Got something to show you,
Don’t you blighters dare come down after dark again!

I smiled,
“S’up Allie?” Jazz asked,
“Hagrid sent us an invitation for tea!” I grinned - the half giant never ceased to amuse me,
“What do you think it will be this time? Hippogriff? Fire breathing Kneazle?” Jazz offered,
“Af long af ifs nop ‘last ebbed scoots!” Maisie said through a mouth full of food,
“Agreed, the blast ended skrewts were a bad call,” I admitted rubbing my arm where the burn had faded.

“So, is it another midnight quest?” Maisie rubbed his hands together,
“He said don’t come down after dark; plus I’m not risking breaking my ankle for the third time this month,” I glared at him,
“Where’s the fun in that?” he whined,
“I swear you should have been a Gryffindor Mason Miles,” Jazz muttered while scanning his charms text book.

“Now, now Jasper Dearborn, No need to use the full name; and dinner tables are no place for swearing,” he chided mockingly, I kicked him under the table, “Shite!”
“Hypocrite.” I smiled smugly at him,

“And YOU should have been in Slytherin the amount of cunning plans form in that little head of yours,” He retorted half heartedly.
“Would you like some Aloe vera? Because you just got BURNED!” Jazz didn’t glance up from his book the whole time Maisie was saying this,
This is how our average dinner conversations go and people have learned to just ignore our random behaviour. That is why nobody gave it a second glance when I chucked my spoon at Maisie.
“Bugger off! At least my head is normal sized unlike you; you arrogant git!”

“And so far its a tie between Miles and Little, stay tuned to find out who wins!” Jazz imitated a commentator - he did a rather good job actually.
“More of me to love,” he fixed me with a look
“More of you to hit!”
“Well since you’ve got such crappy aim anyway...”

“Oh for god sake! Shut up already!” Jazz yelled, “The sexual tension is killing me. Go snog in a broom closet or something...”
We both turned to look at him like he’d grown an extra head. “What?” I was the first to compose myself - Mason and I were like siblings.
“You heard,” his nose was back in the book I’d seen him read three times before.
“EEEWWW! Cooties!” I squealed.
“You still believe in cooties?” Maisie asked, that sly grin in place.
I rolled up my sleeve and jabbed my fore arm, “CIRCLE, CIRCLE, DOT, DOT, NOW I’VE GOT A COOTIE SHOT!”

“ALEX!” He bellowed,

“MASON!” I yelled back,

“JASPER!” Jazz cried, we both looked at him confused, “Well, no one else was going to say it...” he mumbled back to his trusty text book.

“Let’s just go see Hagrid before it gets dark,” I rolled my eyes as we left the table since Flitwick was sending us dirty looks.

As we stepped into the entrance hall I was swept into a wave of first years - some of which were taller than me! Maisie and Jazz stood their ground but I was having trouble. Maisie rolled his eyes and grabbed my arm, slinging me onto his back.

“So this is what Hogwarts looks like from your height! I’ve always wondered...” I teased,
The two of them laughed, I kicked Maisie’s legs and yelled, “FORWARD MINION!”
“Ow,” but he began walking,
“Did Allie ever mention she was scared of heights?” Jazz shot me a wink,

“Fancy a trip to the astronomy tower?” Maisie began to turn around,
“My foot is awfully close to your balls Mason; I’d watch what you do.” I hissed into his ear,
He turned his head slightly, “And I could drop you at any given time.” I growled, “Swear not to harm my chances of having children?”
“Pinky swear,” I muttered and we lapsed into silence,

Jazz knocked on the wooden door of the small dwelling beside the forbidden forest and pumpkin patches - otherwise known as - Hagrid’s Hut. The door swung open and Jazz strode in.
Maisie dropped me to the ground - I fell over onto my butt - he rolled his eyes and stuck his hand out for me to take. He hauled me off the ground and followed me inside.

“All righ’ Allie? Mason - blimey yer’ve grown; almos’ as big as me, eh?” the half giant clapped him on the back and Mason fell into one of the oversized chairs around Hagrid’s table - literally.
“So is this the latest edition to camp Hagrid?” Jazz asked while he stroked the large bloodhound puppy that was currently drooling on his socks - along with Fang.

“Aye ‘tis, an ol’ friend gave him teh me; he were gonna give it his niece fer her birthday; ‘cept she’s allergic teh dogs an’ thought I migh’ like some company out here,” He busied himself boiling a huge kettle on the fire.
“Any special powers?”
“An over sensitive nose he does! Ate all me bacon this morning, he did!”
“Does he have a name?” I reached out and scratched him behind the ears - the fur was really soft.
“Nah, I were hopin’ one o’ you lot would have an idea; you Ravenclaws bein’ smart an’ all,” he looked at us expectingly,

“Er...” Maisie began, but there was a knock on the door, it had gotten dark outside - we probably shouldn’t have come down this late. The puppy began barking.
“Quick hide you lot,” Hagrid whispered as he went to get the door.
I opened the cupboard under the sink and curled up inside shutting the door behind me - just after I saw Maisie slide under Hagrid’s bed and Jazz cast a disillusionment charm on himself and crouching under the table.

I heard Hagrid open the door and sigh in relief - so that meant it wasn’t McGonagall - it could be any other teacher or student though...
“Hey Hagrid!” that had to be at least three boys if not four. The puppy growled,
“Wha’ are you three doing here? Didn’ I tell yeh not to come see me after dark anymore?”
I heard the floorboards creak under their weight, “Yes, Yes you did, but do tell me Hagrid; when have the rules ever affected what we do?” I knew that cocky tone - it was the same one my partner in Herbology uses - James Potter; and I will bet my sugar quill stash that his friends Fred Weasley and Harley Thomas are there with him.
“Aye, fair enough,” the door shut again, “All righ’ you three; yeh can come out now,” I heard Hagrid say,

Fred POV:

We had just traipsed across the grounds under James’ invisibility cloak and waited outside Hagrid’s hut until he opened the damn door; it was bloody freezing!
“Hey Hagrid!” we said in unison - to some would be creepy - to us, completely normal.
“Wha’ are you three doing here? Didn’ I tell yeh not to come see me after dark anymore?” The half-giant chided half heartedly, stepping aside so we could come in.
James just rolled his eyes and asked, “Yes, Yes you did, but do tell me Hagrid; when have the rules ever affected what we do?”
“Aye fair enough,” he sighed and shut the door behind Harley, “All righ’ you three, yeh can come out now,” he said to the room and a chair slid back of it’s own accord and Dearborn filtered into view and sat down at the table; stroking a puppy. The bed skirt flipped up and Miles rolled out - a wry grin on his lips - he bounced up and dropped into the seat next to Dearborn.
James, Harley and I jumped out of our skins when the cupboard under the sink swung open and a small girl un folded herself from the inside; stretched and groaned and boosting herself onto the counter top and pushing back her black hair - it was Little.

I should have known - the three of them were inseparable - along with Dom of course.

“Weasley, Thomas, Potter,” Miles nodded to each one of us, “Allie are you okay?” he tilted his head back to see her rolling her left shoulder blade,
“I don’t know, Maisie,” Maisie? Oh, Mason, Wait - Maisie? “You try fitting inside that cupboard and tell me.”
He just grinned at her and winked. Winked?
“How about Rex?” Dearborn asked randomly,
“It’s a bit unoriginal, don’t you think, Jazz?” Little frowned,
“I had a goldfish named Rex, it took me ages to figure out why everyone found it so funny,” Harley mused, “I also had two others named chips and gravy.”
“Besides,” Miles gave Harley a funny look, I didn’t blame him, “Rex is a name for tough, scary dogs, this ones just a little wimp,” Miles poked it with his toe and it rolled over as to tickle it’s tummy,

“He’s cute though,” Little said,
“I didn’t know you cared,” I found myself saying,
“You keep telling yourself that, Fred,” James scoffed,

“Er Hagrid? I think the kettle’s boiled,” Harley interrupted before we started arguing again.
“Righ’ I’ll get the tea,” He strode across the room and picked up the kettle pouring hot water into seven oversized teacups - I am so glad Hagrid knows what strength to make tea unlike Trelawney; you’d think she’d at least attempt to improve her classes - rather than making us drink cat piss. At least I could drop the subject after this year.

“How about Toothless? Y’know, because he has no front teeth yet?” Dearborn suggested, about an hour later,
“Should call him Gnasher just to be ironic,” Little laughed, so did Harley and Dearborn but the rest of us were oblivious to the humor. Wow I do sound smart in my own head - too bad I can’t out of it.
“I like the sound o’ tha’, here Gnasher,” Hagrid held out a piece of the rock cake he was eating and the rest of us had refused - claiming we were still full from dinner - to be honest, they were more rock than cake. ‘Gnasher’ bounded over to him and licked up the crumbs.

“Hagrid we really should be getting back, McGonagall’s bound to be getting suspicious,” Harley said, as he stood up, James and I followed saying our good byes.
“We should probably get going too,” I heard Dearborn say as the door closed.

We had got a fair way up the grounds when a beam of light from Hagrid’s cabin flooded the ground around it, I glanced over my shoulder to see Miles giving Little a piggyback and Dearborn shutting the door as they left. What was going on between Miles and Little?

“Oi Freddie! Keep up! We need to put the cloak on soon!”
I turned and ran to join them a few yards away from the greenhouses.

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