Chapter 5 : Green-O Jell-O
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And the answer to that, of course, is yes.
I mean, who the actual fuck cuts their already ugly mass of blonde hair making it ten times uglier?!
Yep, no other than Jasmine Preston—the ugly prude who cut her horrifying mass of blonde hair.
So she stared at the mirror, got depressed, starved herself and died.
No wonder I got cheated on.
I stared depressingly at my reflection, looking uglier than what uglier is. If that’s even possible.
I knew I shouldn’t have done a Scorpius ‘I dyed my hair cause I welcome change’ Malfoy. I don’t even know what got into me and I started cutting my hair. My hair! I mean, of all the things! I could cut my clothes or the stupid pictures in those ugly picture frames or those bits of parchments lying around my room but NO!
I chose my hair. And I didn’t even do it with magic. So now it looks short and jagged and just plain terrible. Italicized terrible. Oh and did I mention that I gave myself a side fringe?
I am so fashionable that Holly Ho-ho is cowering down on my feet.
I pulled my hood up and tied it tight to hide my hideous head. Maybe I should just get myself a wig. Are wigs available at Madam Malkin’s?
I passed Jo in the hallway and she stopped and gave me a weird look.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
I honestly wanted to scream NO in her face.
“Yep. Perfectly cool. Dandy. Lovin’ my life.”
“If it isn’t my lovely kids being the positive source of the house,” My dad suddenly said from behind me, patting my hooded head. “Good morning, my lovely munchkins,” he greeted, sliding the hood from my head and kissing my forehead.
“Aaaack!” I screeched, pulling my hood back and running down the stairs.
I glanced back upstairs and saw the two gaping at me.
“WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR HAIR?!” Jo rushed down the stairs as I cringed in terror.
“I didn’t mean to!” I yelped, looking at my dad for help.
He was still looking at us, wide-eyed.
“PUT YOUR HOOD DOWN!”
I shrieked and ran around the room.
“Why would you even cut your hair, you lunatic?!”
“I don’t know!” I yelled, still running in circles.
“Is this some sort of Germinatia influence?!”
That stopped me from running. “What?” I looked at Jo, my hands holding my hood around my head.
“Well, you’ve been hanging out with her often!”she cried. “I’m just thinking that all her...bwitchiness is rubbing on you.”
I blinked at her. “Did you just say...bwitchiness?”
She turned red and scratched her neck.
“Still can’t blurt out profanities, Saint Jo?” I teased, shaking my head in silent laughter.
“Which makes her the good child, actually,” My dad butted in, going down the stairs. Jo stuck out her tongue and I rolled my eyes. “But Jas, seriously child, I know you’ve always been creative but...you’re hair, love? Why?”
I groaned. “Is it that bad?”
“Yes.” They chorused.
I glared at them. “Thanks, you’re both very helpful.” I said sarcastically. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a character building job to go to.”
“Aw, come on, Jasmine.” Dad grinned. “We were just toying with you. But seriously now, whoever that...Germinated person—
“Germinatia, Dad.” Joanne chirped. “Germinatia Seed.”
He gave a confused look, like who the hell would name their kid Germinatia look and I just shrugged.
If she was here, she might’ve murdered my dad in a heartbeat.
“Well, what I’m saying is, you’ve got to be careful.” He continued, giving me a pointed look.
I nodded. Although in truth, I’d be careful of myself more than with Ger. Cause let’s face it, if someone’s going to really kill me, it’ll be me.
But thinking about it, it also might be Hailey Ho.
As I entered Fortescue’s, feeling like a good employee and arriving thirty minutes earlier than the usual (mainly because I want to save myself from further embarrassment from my co-workers), I thought of what Germinatia’s plan might be and what regret I’m going to face after it happened.
Deep in thought, I placed the stupid ice cream hat on my head and went to the freezer section, suddenly tripping on Merlin-knows-what and falling flat on my face.
“What the actual f—Scorpius?!” I scrambled up, squinting at Scorpius who looked sheepish. “What are you—you’re not trying to be a good employee too, are you?”
“Er,” He awkwardly scratched the back of his neck.
I stared at him closely.
“The landlady kicked me out last night.” He blurted out, gesturing at the pile of sheets on the floor.
I’ve never felt sorrier for this boy in my life right now.
He puffed out an air of breath. “I hadn’t paid my rent for about three weeks now and Mrs. Longbottom kicked me out.”
“But we just went there last night,” I said, certainly not recalling any incident of Mrs. Longbottom, the Leaky Cauldron landlady, kicking Scorpius out.
“It was after you guys left.” He swallowed. “I went to my room only to find all my things scattered outside the door and er, Mrs. Longbottom yelling that I haven’t paid rent since I stayed there.
“You haven’t?” I interrupted, hardly believing they’d let anyone stay even if they don’t pay in advance.
He gave me an annoyed look and I quickly shut up. “My dad didn’t exactly hand me any single money when he kicked me out. So I figured out that I have the key to the shop and might as well spend the night...er, here.” He ducked his head down, staring at his shoes. “Or maybe for a few days, too, until I find a place to crash. Please, please don’t tell.”
I sighed and took out two glass bowls, filled it up with ice cream (coffee for Scorp and banana split for me) and handed one to him. “Look, I need to hear that whole story of yours.” I said, kicking his sheets aside and sitting on the floor. “We have about an hour before the two arrives so start speaking.”
He gave me a confused look. “But isn’t it a bit early for ice cream?” he asked.
“No. Just tell the story.” I shoved a spoonful of ice cream in my mouth.
“I don’t know where to start!” He flailed his arms for a bit, sending a spoon of Coffee Crumble in the ceiling. We stared at it for a while. “I’ll clean that.” He added.
“Okay, how about, why did...your parents kick you out?” I asked, wondering if I should refer to them as Aunt and Uncle. But then, that would be heaps weird. Uncle Draco and Aunt Astoria? Blech.
“Technically, it was only my dad.” He said staring at his ice cream as it melts. “My mum found this all absurd and went to France for the entire summer. But she still kept in touch. I don’t want to tell her my misfortunes, though. Her heart might break.”
“Are they on the verge of, erm, divorce?”
“No. Er, no?” he shrugged. “They just like to have separate times, I think. I don’t understand, really.”
I nodded, shoving another spoonful in my mouth. “So why did you get kicked out?”
“Er, I only got five O.W.L.s and he found out...” he mumbled something incoherently.
“The shocking relationship you and Rose freaking Weasley have.” I said, not missing a beat. “You do know her side of the family will kill you, right?”
He winced. “Especially James Potter.” He mumbled, looking slightly horrified.
I choked on my ice cream suddenly, still not getting a grip of myself whenever he’s mentioned.
“Sorry.” He said, thumping my back. “I forgot that...sorry.”
I nodded, swallowing.
“Anyways, yeah, a forbidden relationship and five O.W.L.s seemed enough to get kicked out of our house.” He shrugged.
“You know what? Family grudges are bullshit. But I have to admit, five O.W.L.s is kind of pathetic.” I laughed.
He agreed, chuckling. “Yeah well...”
I scooped the last of my ice cream and stood up, placing the bowl in the table and scourgifying it. “Tell you what, I’m seriously having a guilt trip since yesterday and my gut says that you could crash in our house for awhile.”
“Really?” He stood up, looked relieved.
“Consider yourself lucky.” I grinned.
“I don’t know what to say.” He looked solemn.
I grinned, clapping him at the back. “You could start with ‘thank you’ and then, probably clean all these mess up and promise to not laugh at my ridiculous hair.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll do that.” He grinned. “Although, what hair?”
I sighed. “Let’s just say I got inspiration from you.”
“And I’m guessing it didn’t turn out well?”
“You know me too much.”
“Just...just look at them!” I told Scorpius, who was still attached to my hip—I’m still guiding him the ways of Fortescue’s Ice Cream Parlour since 1963 and we’re now in counter mode. Truthfully, I know he can manage. I mean, come on, working in an ice cream shop is as easy as 1 2 3! But well, I just wanted the company. Plus, he does all the work, anyway.
“I’ve been looking for the past ten minutes.” He said irritably. “They’re just sitting and eating ice cream.”
I shot him an annoyed look. “No, they’re not. They’re making kissy faces at each other. God, that’s vile!” I made a face, turning my back at the best couple of the century.
Scorpius cocked an eyebrow at me. “You’re jealous, aren’t you?”
“Five points for Slytherin, Malfoy.” Ger scooted over, slamming the tray on the counter and earning a wince from Scorpius and weird looks from the customers. “Took you long enough to figure out little Miss Preston here is such a green-o-jell-o!” she said in a sweet sickly voice before turning to me. “Honestly, Preston, just admit it already.”
I ignored her and took another customer’s order.
“Anyways, I would love to force it out of how jealous you are,” She grinned malevolently and I glared at her, despite feeling quite..scared. “But I need you to sign something.” She fished out something from her sleeve—a parchment—and brandished it in front of my face.
I grabbed it and folded it out. It was blank. I look at her, bewildered.
“Is that some kind of blank contract?” Scorpius said from above my shoulder.
Ger grinned. “Nope.”
Scorpius and I looked at each other before sending her confused looks.
“The parchment’s confused. It only shows its contract to a single person. Because I didn’t write any contract for the both of you, it appears blank.” She explained as I can’t help but give a glance of awe to the smart side of Germinatia Seed. “So if you cut your head out, Malfoy, Preston would be able to see her contract.”
Scorpius, suddenly looking sheepish, inched away from me. And just to prove how witty Ger is, ink started to appear in the parchment,
Oi, minger. This is some contract to show that you fully agree on all my plans-NO MATTER THE CONSEQUENCES-and must not ever, ever, regret anything or blame anyone(i.e. ME):
a. If something doesn’t work out.
b. If something bad happens (i.e. You died. Or someone did, whatever.)
c. If I whack you on the back of the head.
d. And so on and so forth.
This contract also means that I can abuse your human rights and make you do this or that and you will agree because you want to kick Hailey Ho’s massive arse and stick it to her face and maybe wreck the lives of those people who went against you.
Anyways, in order for the plan to work, we (actually, I)need:
1. A PLACE/ headquarters or whatever the hell
2. FOOD in that place
3. SCISSORS, DARTS, DUNGBOMBS, extra things to do when bored
5. WILLINGNESS TO DO EVIL and the likes.
What we don’t need are:
1. Sunshine and rainbows a.k.a. Trite
2. Some weird shenanigans that is positive and bullshit
3. Tristan freaking Trite
4. Everything that looks happy
5. Everything pink and orange and yellow
Now sign the contract or ELSE!
I blinked, taking Ger’s wittiness and evilness in a gulp. I can’t help but wonder if this is some kind of sick morbid gothic joke only Ger can pull but seeing the looks on her face, it was real and I have to sign it or ELSE!
And from the corner of my eye, Regret looks at me, tuts and comes to pat my head.
A/N: I'm editing until Chapter 7. I'm putting this here so I won't be repeating it for the next chapters hah. Disclaiming: everything that's not mine.
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