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Pretending by wish right now x
Chapter 3 : Time to Decide
 
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The waiting room was cold, with plain grey walls. The receptionist sat by the phone answering calls, her nasally voice not being any comfort to me at all. Rose had promised to support me no matter what, but I didn't want her here. I needed her support, but I knew she would feel truly uncomfortable in here. She wasn't like any of these people, she didn't belong here. There were loads of women like me who were here, getting one thing done. One horrible thing done.

I'd only felt this out of place once in my life before, when I was six and my mother had sent me to infant school for 'normal' children. There were so many things I could do that none of them could, and thus I was outcast as the weird girl who could do magic. None of the parents wanted their children to play with me, and my parents were embarrassed and kept shouting at me about my 'odd' behaviour. They believed I needed to talk to someone, and I was so confused because I didn't belong. When Professor Flitwick came and told my parents what I was, things got better. They finally realised I wasn't weird, I was special. And now I was a total screw up again.

No one would ever find out about this. Not my parents, not my roommates, not my brother, Cole, and definately not Al Potter. This would stay mine and Rose's secret forever and ever.

"Harvey Callaghan, can you go to room seven please, Dr. Hutson will see you now" The receptionist said, the loud chews of her gum making me more and more nervous. I got up and began to walk that way, feeling as if everyone's eyes were on me. They probably were considering there was nothing else to look at in this room. Just get over it. It doesn't matter if they judge you. I thought to myself over and over again, trying to remain calm.

I knocked on the door of room 7, before opening it slightly and looking into the room. A tall, bald pale doctor had his back to me, but turned around immediatetly after I had knocked.

"You must be Miss Callaghan", he stated.

"Yes doctor Hutson" I whispered unable to look him in the eye. He had a smile on his face, and although I knew it was not him and he had no relation to this man at all, all I could see was evil.

"And you would like a termination?" He asked, removing his wand from his pocket. I flinched as he did so.

"Yes doctor Hutson" I replied.

"Then take a seat my dear and please lift up your shirt. Do you know how far along you are?" He asked, waving his wand over my currently flat stomach, the sensation caused me to shiver.

"Eight weeks?" I whispered, as a picture came up on the screen.

"Looks like Eight weeks exactly" he said, musing over the black and white picture.

"I-is that it?" I asked, trying to look around his head that was blocking the view. "Is that my baby?"

"Well, most of it isn't. It's this little white spot here that is, for now at least. Do you wish to proceed with the operation?" Dr. Hutson offered.

"Y-yes" I muttered, not taking my eyes off of the tiny spot on the screen. So small and vulnerable, not knowing what was about to happen. My arms instantly moved to my stomach, shielding it from the doctor.

"Miss Callaghan, I'm going to need you to move your arms to your sides so I can do the spell" He told me. I hummed along, trying as hard as I could to make them move. But I couldn't. They were there protecting the little thing in my stomach, my baby. "Miss Callaghan, are you sure you want a termination?"

I didn't even need to think about it before I silently shook my head. Dr. Hutson sighed and turned away from me, angrily turning the screen off so he could get my attention again.

"Well thank you for wasting my time Miss. Callaghan" He hissed again, before opening the door and showing me the exit. I grabbed my bag and scrambled out of there, eager to get away as quickly as possible.

I ran out of the doors and into the crisp air of October. I ran into a pub and use floo powder to get strait back to "The Three Broomsticks", a pub which was fairly crowded on the Hogsmeade weekend. I smiled politely at everyone I saw, though I was filled with adrenaline. I wasn't sure if it was from excitement, joy or, most likely, pure fear. I just knew I needed to tell Rose exactly what I had done.

Rose was out on the Quidditch pitch, watching Slytherin train for their next match, to take place on Halloween. Scorpius and Al were both on the team, playing the keeper and seeker, respectively. They were out flying with the rest of the team, far into the sky and unable to hear us.

"Hey" I said as I walked up and took a seat next to her. Rose's eyes just traced the movements of the team, unable to look at me.

"Hey" She mumbled back, finally acknowledging my presence. Rose had always made it clear that she didn't really believe in abortion, but she promised me she'd support me no matter what. When I had told her of my original plan, she was upset and disappointed, but being the good friend she was promised me she would support me no matter what. However she thought I should tell Al what was going on, which I had refused. I could tell that at the moment she was trying, but what she thought I had done had hurt her beyond belief.

"Rose?" I whispered.

"Hmmm?" She replies, her eyes still not moving.

"I didn't go through with it" I tell her. She looks at me again, her eyes fairly excited now. "I just, I couldn't. I don't know what it was but, they showed me a picture of the baby and I just couldn't do it. I couldn't let them hurt someone so small, so innocent. I got too attached and, well, nothing could be done then!" Our positions had changed now. Where I had previously been staring at Rose and she at Scorpius, Rose's eyes were locked on me and me following Al as he glided across the pitch. For a brief moment his eyes caught mine and we were staring at each other for just a moment, bringing memories of that one night back to us both. He broke his gaze when he began to stumble and focused his attention back to his Quidditch captain. I groaned as I threw my head into my hands. "What have I done?"

"The right thing" Rose replied, stroking my hair backwards. She stood up and began to head towards the exit. "Come on. I think this calls for a tub of ice cream and hot chocolate"

"What about Scorpius?" I asked, and she looked at me with a chuckle.

"You are much more important right now"

We arrived together back at the dorm room, our arms filled with as much unhealthy foods as you could think of. We had packets of chocolate frogs, boxes of Bertie botts and a tub of ice cream each. The perfect way to spend an afternoon.

"I still don't know if I'm keeping it, I'm just going to go through with the pregnancy" I tell Rose, who laughs in response.

"Harvey, you couldn't even give it up now, when its just a fetus, do you honestly think you're going to be able to give it up in eight months, when it's, you know, a baby?" She suggested.

"I don't know! Besides, it depends on the circumstances and if I'm going to be able to care for it in eight months" I remind her.

"You will, you, Al and baby will be such a cute little family!" She commented in an excited voice. My brief smile suddenly turned into a frown.

"Do we need to discuss that now? I'm not telling him yet" I whined to Rose, who dropped the subject instantly. She continued nagging me about everything though, because she wouldn't be Rose if she didn't.

"So have you been to St. Mungos? Becuase you know, there are vitamins that you need to take, and we need to check that you anad the baby are both healthy. Oh and we are going to have to find out the due date so we can plan what you're going to do about your studies!" Rose explained. I nearly burst out crying.

"Theres so much to do! And I have no idea how to do it!" I cried, digging into my ice-cream even more. Rose realised her mistake and began to try and comfort me more. "I just wish there was someone who had been through it all that could help me!"

"What about Victoire? She's just had Archie!" Rose suggested, and I shook my head. Victoire was lovely in the times that I'd met her, but I hardly knew her. It would be a little weird just showing up and asking for pregnancy advice.

"Okay, how about Aunt Ginny? She will be the baby's grandmother after all" I cried a no at this one. If I told Rose's Aunt Ginny, that would mean for certain I'd have to drag Al into the whole thing, and soon.

"Your mum?" I hardly even gave this one a response. The relationship between my mother and I had gradually became better over the years, but she'd never be the first person I'd go to for advice, especially on parenting.

"Rose, I know you're only trying, but I really don't think there's anyone that can help at the moment. I've got you and I'll head down to St. Mungo's next week, or whenever I can get out of the castle. Okay?" I wiped my eyes while Rose remained in silence, contemplating what I had just said.

"What about my mum?" She asked, and I looked up at her, prepared to repeat what I had just said. Before I could, I thought about who Rose had just suggested.

Hermione had always been very friendly to me, treating me like a second daughter. She'd invite me round every summer to stay and always want to talk to me about how life was, and how I was doing. She really did care. Hermione was exactly like Rose, she knew everything and was a lovely friendly person (when she wasn't arguing with Rose's dad about house-elves or something). All the others had seemed stupid, but this was actually a decent idea.

"Do you think she'd mind?" I asked Rose, who seemed glad I was ready to talk to someone about it other than her.

"Not at all, we can just floo their now" She suggested, getting up off of my bed and pulling her shoes on.

We used the fireplace in Professor Longbottom's office, a privilege only Rose and few others had considering she knew him so well. Rose just told him she was a bit homesick and that she wanted to see her mum, so Longbottom didn't even blink twice before he let us both go. His office was just around the corner from the Gryffindor tower, as he was now head of Gryffindor house.

"Mum? Are you home?" Rose shouted as she walked into the room. The small family lived in the south west of England, in a cosy cottage on the outskirts of Cornwall. They had previously lived near the Potter's in Godric's Hollow, however had moved after tiring of the public attention that frequently surrounded the area. The Potter's had moved also, their only home that the public knew about being a large mansion where they frequently held parties and balls. Rose followed the sounds of the house around the corner into the living room, where Hermione was snuggled up on the couch reading a book. So like Rose.

"Rose! Harvey! What are you doing coming to visit me!" Hermione smiled, running up to us and giving us warm, welcoming hugs. I always liked Hermione.

"Is dad home?" Rose asked, looking for any signs of interruption.

"No, but you shouldn't be! Why aren't you at school?" She said, suddenly going all stern. Like I said, so like Rose.

"Harvey has something to tell you and we need some advice?" Rose explained, pushing me forward and taking a seat in the blue arm chair.

"Well, what is it Harvey? You know you can tell me anything" She reminded me, sitting back on the couch and looking at me with a friendly face.

"Well, ummm" I was prepared before, but the idea of saying it out loud to Mrs. Weasley just made it scary. A breath caught in my throat as I tried to find the words to say. "I kind of...sort of... might be...ummm...pregnant?"

"You kind-of, sort-of, might-be?" She repeated, looking mildly alarmed.

"I am pregnant" I corrected myself, taking a huge gulp as I did so.

"Wow, I was not expecting that" She stated. "Do you want to sit down dear?"

"Am I allowed to?" I asked stupidly.

"Harvey you know you're always welcome here. Why don't you actually explain this all to me?" She asked.

"Well, I'm about eight weeks into it, and I went to the abortion clinic today and couldn't go through with it. And that's all I've done" I explain to her.

"So you're going to keep the baby?"

"Yep!"

"And what does the father have to say about all of this?"

"I kind-of... sort-of...maybe... haven't told him?" I explained, to be met with a disaproving glance from Hermione.

"Harvey..."

"I know but it's difficult!" I whined.

"Who is it, Harvey? I'm sure they'll be supportive"

"That's exactly what I told her!" Rose butted in, though realised she should be quiet after I shot her a dirty look. There was no way I was going to let her accidently tell Hermione who the father was.

"I don't want to say. But Rose knows" I promised her with a sincere glance at Rose, who still had the same look of righteousness on her face that she always got when she was right about something important.

"Well, you should go to St Mungos and see a healer, find out your due date and check that everything is okay with the baby. You also need to get some vitamin and pre natal potions which you need to get as soon as possible. Plus you need to talk to Professor McGonagall as soon as possible to sort out your life with you and the baby" She explained. I nodded along, taking mental notes for everything Hermione was saying, my stress obviously showing on my pale face.

"Rose can you get me some water?" Hermione asked her daughter, who immediately obliged and left the room.

"Don't worry Hermione I don't mind Rose hearing whatever you have to say"

"I just want to check theres nothing you mind Rose hearing you say" She said. "I'm glad you came to me, its really important to talk to someone about this stuff"

"Thank you for listening" I said, still slightly afraid to look her in the eye. "I'm scared"

"Everyone is, theres no way of being prepared. When I was first pregnant with Rose..."

"You had Ron, were married, a house, a successful career and loving family..."

"But Harvey, I was still terrified. I don't envy you, your in a very difficult position but you can ask me anything, and I promise I'll be there to support you with whatever you need"

"Thank you" I whispered, tears again falling from my face. "Please don't tell anyone, not even Ron"

"I won't tell a soul" She smiled.

"It was one time. It was the only time and I've not been able to even look at the guy since" I tell her.

"We all make mistakes. Maybe just smiling at him next time you see him? Try to build a basic relationship with him before springing it on to him" She suggested, as Rose entered the room again with three glasses of water.

"Why don't we book the appointment for next Saturday? I'll talk to Neville about you two coming to see me. We can have lunch and then the two of you can go to your appointment" She suggested, with Rose and I nodding along. Hermione picked up some parchment and began writing two letters, one to Professor Longbottom and the other to St Mungos, though this one was meant to be from me.

I wish my mother was as nice as Hermione.


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