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Chapter 2 : Bets, Awkward Encounters and Prongs
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"Merlin! That girl is a bitch!" I said to Remus and Peter. James nodded, obviously understanding right away. "I mean, to say I shag girls because I didn't get love from my mother? Idiotic. Crude. She's an arse."
James nodded again. "And to say that about my Lily petal? She's a tart."
Remus scowled. "You were being quite rude yourselves if I've heard correctly. I mean, commenting on Professor Flitwick's height? That's a new low even for you."
I in turn scowled. We were just poking fun. The marauders never meant anything when they were joking around with someone.
"Whatever. Let's just go get some breakfast."
My friends nodded and we strode into the great hall, everyone's eyes on us. It was good being a marauder. Even though we looked different, we were all dashingly handsome.
James, or rather Prongs, had amazing hair and hazel eyes that could make almost any girl faint. Any girl but Lily Evans, his one true love or something like that.
I on the other hand, rugged, striking Padfoot, also had gorgeous hair that was quite similar to James' and steely grey eyes that intoxicate the ladies. I know because they've told me.
Remus Lupin, werewolf extraordinaire had hair the colour of wheat, brownish-gold, and his eyes were of the same colour. Dear old Moony. The only reason he wasn't a playboy like me is because he says he has respect. Hah!
And lastly Peter. Poor measly little Wormtail. A little plump, his brown hair and blue eyes were nothing to gaze at but he still got on with the girls. At least, he talked to them without them screaming in horror.
Ah yes. It was good to be handsome. We walked over to our normal table and sat down to steaming piles of waffles and bacon. I grabbed a piece of toast and was just about to shove it in my mouth when Remus stopped me.
"Ah come on Moony. I'm hungry here!" I complained.
He smirked. "Yes. Losing to a bitch must give you a fair appetite shouldn't it?" I growled. "First, I want to point out that it's been a month. How's everyone on their bets?"
I smiled. It was a marauders tradition to place a bet on each of us dashingly handsome men when we start off the school year.
If we don't finish the bet by the end of the year, we have to go skinny-dipping in the Black Lake on the last day of school. If we finished the bet, we had to wait for the start of a month so we could show our progress, or lack thereof, to the rest of the group.
Usually, my bet was to shag some poor unsuspecting girl and dump her high and dry.
James' was usually to get Lily Evans (he had been taking dips in the lake for five years running), Remus' was usually something crazy like, moon some of the first years (finished it in third year), hit on Minnie (failed, fourth year) or get someone to utterly believe that he was gay (finished fifth year and it was his then girlfriend Marjorie Manatee and yes that was her real name), and Peter's almost always had to do with him finally getting a girlfriend (he has, like James, always gone for a swim at the end of the year).
But because my conquests for the bets never really seem hard, we almost always have to get a new bet for me every month.
"Now I know it has been hard for you to lose a bet," Remus started, "so I think this time, you need to get a girl in the sack. Three separate times."
I scoffed. "Piece of cake Moony. Prongs, do you believe this?"
James was giving me a look though. One I could only classify as devious. "Better yet Moony, Padfoot has to get a certain girl to shag him three times."
Peter gave a hearty chuckle but quickly turned it into a cough when I turned to him. Considering he was the only one on my side of the table and I've been known to hit certain people, I wasn't that surprised he went for the subtle route. Turning back to Remus and James, I smiled.
"Just give me a name brothers."
James gave Remus a wicked smile. "Alexandra James."
All the blood ran from my face. "You can't be serious!" I whisper-yelled. "I have to shag pimply Alexandra?"
Peter giggled. "No you're Sirius. Padfoot honestly, I can't believe you'd forget your own name."
I growled at him but he just smirked. "Remus, you've got to be joking. This seems too coincidental that I just got into a fight with the bitch and now I have to shag her."
Remus smiled. "It's no coincidence my friend. James told me everything that happened last night and we decided as a unit that this is now what you have to do if you don't want to show everything you've got to the giant squid."
I groaned but James spoke up. "At least she's filled out. And her pimples are gone. She's actually fit when you think about it. Of course, Lily is so much prettier, but we could have picked worse."
"You actually couldn't have. The girl is a nightmare. Getting her to shag me once would be a rare occurrence, let alone three times."
"Looks like old Padfoot might be taking a dip with us this year," Peter said to James.
Peter's bet was again whether or not he could actually get a girlfriend, and James' was still whether or not he could actually get Lily as his girlfriend. No one was confident they'd win.
Well, James still thought he had a shot and Peter was still trying, but no one else really expected any sort of result. Remus, on the other hand, was bet he couldn't shag a girl by the end of the year.
Dear old Remus. That 'respect' made him a 17 year old virgin that could have his pick of girls if he really did want a shag. I growled at them and they laughed. It wasn't that intimidating to them seeing as they knew why I did that and that my bark was worse than my bite.
Sulking, I took a piece of bacon and savagely attacked it. Almost any girl in the school and I wouldn't have a problem. Sure she would be hanging off me for a month but really.
Wasn't that a small price to pay to make sure my manhood wasn't on display for the giant squid and any other unpleasant creatures that lived in the black lake? But this girl?
We called her pimply Alexandra because she was pimply (obviously). Never had I seen her so fit.
Her face had cleared up and her brown curls were shiny but not from greasy product as some other girls were. It didn't look like she had makeup which surprised me when I had first seen her. Her green eyes were striking and made me think of Lily's. Though she was freckled, it was quite endearing.
And as James had mentioned, she had filed out in all the right places. But her attitude was so… so bitchy yesterday. I honestly have no idea why she would be so rude but then again, we did say we had never seen her before even if we've been in some of her classes since the start of first year.
And James did mention her figure in a somewhat unpleasant way for her, but that was James. Anyways, I thought to myself, this was completely unfair. While she was very fit, and I admit she's fit, her scowl just makes me shudder. I mean, who likes a moody girl? Not Sirius Black.
"Sirius is in his head again," Peter said. I jerked and he laughed. "Finally decided to grace us with your attention Padfoot?"
I growled. "I still don't get why it has to be her"
James scoffed. "Because this is the only bet we have a chance of winning."
"Anyways, there's something up with Diggory and her. I don't know what but Dumbledore's involved," Remus said and I jerked.
"You don't think…" I said, looking at James.
He shrugged. "Could be a pregnancy scare. Didn't that happen with a girl in Lily's dorm? Dumbledore was in on that too."
I shrugged. "Whatever. It's not as if I have to talk to her. Pillow talk isn't really my thing."
Remus laughed. "You prat. You have to shag her three times. A normal girl would want some sort of relationship after the first time. But this girl? You're going to have to work the Sirius charm on her before doing anything to her."
I exhaled, exasperated with my half-wit friends. Tearing apart a pancake with my fork, I glowered at Remus while James had suddenly gotten very concerned for something, or better yet, someone, in the distance.
"Lily Pads," he cried, "what's wrong?"
I turned to see the fire-engine red curls racing towards us. She looked mad. I was glad she was on James' side of the table. I'd been slapped by Lily Evans before. It was not fun.
She stalked up to James and slapped him. "You ignorant prat! What did you do?" She screamed before sitting right between James and Remus. "I was just attacked by Alexandra James in the hallway." I groaned. "Oh what's wrong with the man-whore? Not very fond of the girl? Well she slapped me so just shut your mouth and tell me what you did."
"She slapped you?" James said in disgust. "She actually slapped Lily. My Lily. Bitch move."
"Yes bitch move. And then she called me a slag. What the hell did you arse hats say to her?"
Peter spoke up. "Well Sirius…" He cowered as she turned her glare on him. "Sirius and James said she looked fit, they didn't recognize her, they said her boyfriend hit her, then they sent a jinx at her and now we're using her in a bet."
I swore quietly, hitting Peter in the ribs. No one was supposed to know about the marauder bets. But Lily hadn't cared. Her face had gone unnaturally white at the mention of Alexandra's boyfriend. She tried to stand up but Remus grabbed her arm and made her sit back down, telling her he wouldn't let he go until she explained.
"I can't tell you," she hissed.
Remus scowled at her. "Obviously you have to, seeing as we were the ones who created this debacle for you."
Lily rolled her eyes. "I was patrolling a week or so ago and I heard something loud from an abandoned classroom. I walked in to see Alexandra on the floor and Diggory over her. He had hit her. Then she got up and ran towards me. I don't think either of them even realized I was there." Her voice was hushed and we all slowly nodded.
She continued. "Well, he sort of grabbed her and pulled her back to him and I was scared he was going to hit her again so I may have totally petrified him. Then she was crying so I hugged her and then when she wanted to go to the hospital wing, I took the spell off Diggory…"
"You shouldn't have," Remus hissed.
"And threatened that if he ever came near her again I was going to cut off his manhood and then shove it up his arse."
We all looked stunned by that. Lily may threaten James, but she was too nice to say anything like that.
"Then I brought her to the hospital wing as she was hysterical, and waited until Dumbledore came to talk to her. She made me promised not to tell anyone. But obviously," she said, glaring at me, "someone couldn't keep his mouth shut and now she thinks I've told you guys. Well, I suppose now I have, but you can't tell anyone." She looked terrified. "Dumbledore's sorted it out but you shouldn't say those things to her anymore. She'll get even angrier at me and I count on her to be my partner in potions you see." I rolled my eyes as her face scrunched up. "Hold on! What did you say about a bet?"
"Oh look at the time," said Remus.
"Erm, I forgot my knickers in the bathroom!" Exclaimed Peter.
"These eggs are not sitting with me." I said, looking disdainfully at my plate that was filled with bacon, toast and pancakes.
Although we had made up reasonable excuses (well Peter's was a little far fetched), James completely panicked. "I need to go water my owl. Erm, talk to my broom. Erm, shower my monkey."
We all stared at him and he shrugged. Then the four of us looked at Lily and said in unison, "Catch you later then?"
We made a break for it and separated as we heard her footsteps echo behind us. She must have followed one of the others because when I finally stopped, she was nowhere near. I panted with my tongue out and almost laughed.
My dog like tendencies really showed when it came down to it. No one really noticed but us, and when someone commented on it, it really was funny. I slowly looked around a corner and to my delight, I didn't see the fiery girl I knew was trying to kill us.
Or at least get us to tell her what the bets were. I sighed and turned around, smashing in to someone. They fell and I glared at them although I knew I was at fault. A small girl, well average height but everyone was small to me, with dark brown hair was on the ground and I immediately felt sorry.
I gave her my hand to help her up but instead, she gave me her own glare and I stiffened.
"James," I spat.
"Watch where you're going, Black."
I scoffed. "You're the one that hit me."
"And I'm the one on the ground," she said, then lowered her voice so much I could only hear because of my canine hearing. "Again."
I instantly stiffened. "I'm sorry," I said.
She snorted. "Likely. Sorry for what exactly? Being such a –"
"For saying your boyfriend hit you. I shouldn't have assumed that and I damn sure shouldn't have said it."
"Erm, thanks." She looked confused. "I'm sorry I said that you sleep with girls because you never got love from your mother." It stung even as she said it now. Suddenly, her eyes widened. "That means Lily… I didn't mean to hit her! Merlin's pants!"
"Don't worry," I said, grabbing her forearm, even as she glared, and pulling her up. "She knows why you got upset and she made sure we never brought up the 'incident,' as she calls it, again."
Her green eyes, so clouded with hatred and fear it was folly to assume they were similar to Lily's, narrowed. "So you didn't know when you said those comments?"
"But you know of the 'incident,'" she said, mimicking my bunny ear motion, "now."
"I knew I shouldn't have trusted that slag. Or you. So let me say this now," she hissed. "If you tell anyone, and I do mean anyone, about it, I will find a way to get you back. Don't underestimate me Black." With that she turned and walked past me.
I rolled my eyes. Girls. Always with the mood swings. Although I did have my fair share of them so I couldn't really complain. But really, this girl was nutters. Confused one moment, sad the next, then she became angry at the drop of a hat. Couldn't she pick one emotion for five minutes?
And here I am, I thought, having barely talked to her and I realize she's not sane. I sighed and walked the other way, smacking into another person, although this time we both stayed on our feet. Looking up, I saw familiar hazel eyes framed by familiar black glasses.
"About the whole Lily thing," he said sheepishly. "I may or may not have told her about the whole bet thing."
"What?" I screeched rather unmanly-like. "How could you tell her? That's the marauder's secret! Well, one of them."
Although I liked Lily, and James certainly did, the bets were not something I was quite particularly proud of. Sure I was thought a stud because I slept with a load of girls, but really it was all for the bets. I had no particular liking to shagging random girls when I wanted to.
"Well," he said, deliberately tapping a finger against his lips, "she did do some pretty good persuading."
I laughed raucously. "That's my little Prongsie-Wongsie. Also giving away information for the smallest little kiss."
"It wasn't just a little kiss if I do say so myself. Dear Lily was quite adamant to know everything for some unknown reason and I'm not much of an informant." He scoffed.
I smirked. After so many years, James finally got what he wanted. Granted it wasn't a promise to marry him and to have his children, but at least Lily showed interest.
I clapped him on the back and winked. Our charming James Potter just snogged the girl of his dreams. I felt an overwhelming sense of pride.
Every time one of us snogged a new girl, or even an old one, we were proud for him. It was this unspoken brotherly bond. Be proud for the lucky bastard. Shagging merited even more pride, but with Lily, you would take what you got.
Although we had never really been proud of Peter. At least for that matter.
I felt bad for the poor sod. Chicks weren't repulsed by him, but he never had the courage to ask a girl out and none asked him out. We made do though. We got him to prank the Slytherins a lot and rejoiced when he pulled off a particularly evil one.
"Well good for you, you numpty. At least you have a chance with your bet. Mine is… What?" I asked as his evil smirk made its way back. "What has the devilish mind of James Lillian Potter come up with next?"
"Nope," he said to my attempt to guess his middle name, quite horribly if I might add. "And yes my mind is devilish and yes my mind has come up with something. What if the great Sirius Black has feelings for the infamous Alexandra James?"
"Okay, uno mate, I hardly know her. And dos, no way in hell."
"Yeah sure, you nutter. But we all know you think she's fit."
I smirked. "Yeah she's fit but I mean, not that fit."
He pulled a face, his eyebrows scrunching up in thought. "Then why do you seem to think about her a lot?" His eyes suddenly opened wide. "You've already tried to sleep with you haven't you? And she said no. The one girl who's said no."
"Shut up you tosser."
"She totally did! Wait. Is she that girl from the first party of the year? The one who totally ditched you for Diggory?"
"Yeah, although now we know why," I said a little begrudgingly.
I had tried to seduce Alexandra during the first party of the year but she blew me off. Although she was pretty drunk and hadn't remembered it, I had almost kissed her when she sobered up and ran off. Peter and I saw her ten minutes later sucking Diggory's face.
"And now you hate her. But you are also obsessed with the chick. You're hatesessed!"
"Uh, that's not a word James."
"It so is. I just made it up."
I rolled my eyes. "Exactly."
"Hey my friend, the Marauders' Dictionary has no limits. And remember," he paused for 'dramatic effect,' "I am the keeper of the Marauders' Dictionary."
I rolled my eyes. James' newest thing was making up words for his 'Marauders' Dictionary.' He was sure it was going to be published someday.
Peter and Remus went along with his word play but I found it stupid. Who needs to make up words when we have a ton of them already?
Remus tells me he's just coping with the whole Lily fiasco from the first party of the year. And yes, same party. Actually, a lot of things happened at that party, I thought.
I dismissed it from my mind and just put my arm around James' shoulders. We began to walk down the hallway, James telling me every word in his Marauders' Dictionary from the past week as I ignored him and winked at a tall curvaceous fifth year Gryffindor.
Her blonde hair reached over her chest and her heart-shaped bangs accentuated her blue eyes. They weren't all that pretty though. Green ones were much better.
Wait. What? Green eyes? Blue eyes have always been my thing.
I slightly shook my head and gave her an impossibly gorgeous smile if I do say so myself. She smiled back and giggled.
James was still talking as I turned my head to stare at her arse. A smack to the head made me turn around, hatred burning in my eyes.
"I was telling you about Lily mate. I thought you'd be interested," he whined.
I rolled my eyes. "James, I'm not interested in any story about Lily unless, one, she's now in league with You-Know-Who which isn't likely as she's not quite up to his crazy standards, or if you've accidentally gotten her pregnant. Actually, that last one is less likely than the first if you think about it."
He scowled and I shrugged. Taking my arm off his shoulder and patting him on the back, I skipped ahead towards the Fat Lady.
"Phoenix tears," I said and the portrait swung open to reveal the portrait hole.
James was most likely behind me but I skipped up to the room even as he yelled my name. I really couldn't stand to hear anything more about Lily.
Running up the stairs, I quickly burst through the door and jumped on my bed, the second farthest from the door. Letting my head be engulfed by the pillow, I closed my eyes and gradually began pulling my blankets out from under me just to pull them over me. Getting up early had never really been my strong point.
Just as I was comfy, the door slammed open and a second later, a body had vaulted onto my bed. Punching me, James began cackling as I groaned.
"Get up you numpty!" He screamed. "We've got Potions this morning. Lily's promised to be my partner today."
"James, she always says she'll be your partner and then ends up working with someone else."
"Not today mate! If we get to class early, she'll have to sit with me to honor her promise."
I rolled my eyes even if he couldn't see it as my head was covered by the blanket.
"Don't you roll your eyes at me Sirius Black."
"How did you know I rolled my eyes?"
He scoffed. "I know you Padfoot. Of course you would roll your eyes at that."
"Fine, fine," I said, taking my head out from under the blankets. "How much time do we have? 15 minutes?"
"45 actually. Got to get there nice and early right?"
I said some choice words at him before giving up and following him to Potions, hoping that Remus and Peter would get here soon so that I wouldn't have to be subjected to more of his 'Lily Evans is my dream girl' talk.
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