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Chapter 15 : Nothing is pure anymore
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Fantastical chapter image by Elenia @ tda!
As I followed Lola to Dumbledore’s office, I had a million and one things running through my head. What was my mother doing here? Did father know? Was father with her? Was she here to make me leave school and face my father’s wrath? The possibilities were endless and with each thought, I was closer to turning around and running as far away as possible. However, I steeled myself and by the time we came to stand outside, I was ready to face whatever was waiting for me on the other side. Lola was safe, mother wouldn’t touch her, neither would father but I was a different story. I only hoped I could explain myself before I was crucio-ed or something to that effect.
“Pumpkin pasties,” Rolling my eyes at the stupid, expected password of Dumbledore’s office, I followed Lola slowly up the stairs. I let Lola walk in first, knowing nothing would happen to her. I stopped short as I heard mother’s voice echo through the office.
“Momia!” I smiled as I heard Lola run to my mother. Taking a deep breath, I stepped into the office and kept my eyes on my mother. The atmosphere was tense and I could see Dumbledore and McGonagall in the corner of the room, ready to intervene if something went wrong.
“Tesoro?” My mother’s voice was cautious, like I was caged animal ready to bite at the slightest noise. I watched her from a distance, completely on edge. She stepped away from Lola and took a step towards me. I shifted on the spot, making it clear to her that I was uncomfortable. After a couple of minutes, she smiled and held her arms to me, like she used to when I was younger. Before I realised what I was doing, I was in her arms and hugging my mother tightly.
“Te quiero.” I smiled and breathed in my mother’s familiar scent. It made me feel like I was 12 again, when everything was normal and I was safe.
“I’ve missed you.” She pulled away and placed a kiss on my head. “What are you doing here? Does father know?”
She shook her head and I sighed. She was clearly risking everything to see us. If she got hurt, it would be my fault. “He doesn’t need to know. There was no way I was staying away from my baby girls, no matter what he says.”
“You shouldn’t be here, if he finds out, you know what he’ll do to you.” I shook my head. If my father found out she had visited and it wasn’t to see Pedro, she would be in for it when she got back home. He was violent man, especially when drunk and there was no telling the extent of what my mother would suffer if he discovered her secret. He had beaten myself and Pedro many times, it was something most pure blooded children, and wives, were used to. He didn’t even crucio us, like most heads of pure blooded families, he would use his fists. He preferred the ‘personal touch’ when he delivered his punishments, as he so often told us before we were beaten within an inch of our lives. Mother suffered the same fate and there had been many times where I have had to pick her up off the floor when my father had gone too far. Lola, luckily, had been saved from any of his violence, her sweet innocence enough to stop his anger.
“I can handle myself, ‘Ela, it’s you I am most worried about, you and your sister.” She sat down and I sat next to Lola, on the chairs opposite. “I couldn’t believe when your father told me what had happened. I thought you would have been killed. I am so proud of you for getting out of there, mi tesoro. You are so much braver than I am.”
I always knew my mother did not support my father’s beliefs but to hear it come from her mouth felt a like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. There was someone in my family who was on my side. Of course, I knew Lola was but the help of a fifteen year old could only go so far. Mother would be much more of a valuable ally if I was to survive my father, Voldermort and all his followers.
“You could do the same, you know? I’m sure Professor Dumbledore could fine somewhere for you to hide out and live, without father ever knowing.” As I was talking, I could see my mother shaking her head and I frowned. “What’s the matter? Do you not want to leave?”
“It’s not that tesoro, it’s just...” She sighed and put her head down, as if she was ashamed of herself. “It’s harder than it sounds. I can’t just up and leave your father, it’s not that simple."
I shook my head. How many more excuses could she come up with? “If you don’t support father then why stay with him? Surely that’s worse than getting away from it all.”
“If I leave then I am dead. Whether it’s your father who finds me or someone he works along side, I won’t be safe. I’m safer where I am, that way I can help you two out, I can keep you informed with what is happening, it makes more sense. Professor Dumbledore has already recruited me as an informer, I’ll be part of the Order of the Phoenix, the group that will stand in the way of Voldemort and his followers.”
I looked to Dumbledore who nodded slowly. Turning back to my mother, I sighed. “Okay, but as soon as you feel you’re in trouble, you have to get out of there. Father won’t let you get away with this if he finds out.”
She nodded and Lola jumped up and flung her arms around her. I watched with a small smile as my mind filled with thoughts. There was something inside that was telling me not to believe my mother’s words. I knew she loved us dearly and didn’t support Voldemort but there was a nagging feeling that my father had put her up to this. My mother wasn’t as intelligent as my father so I just couldn’t see how she had gotten past him to come and visit Lola and I. Something felt wrong and as much as I wanted to believe my mother and all her words of comfort and love, what I had been through and what I knew made me cautious. I more worried about Lola than I was about myself, she clearly believed my mother’s words and she would be the easiest to fool. There was only person she would listen to over me and that was my mother. It would only take a few choice words to change her mind and I couldn’t let that happen.
After an hour had passed, mother left Dumbledore’s office on the promise that if she even suspected that my father knew what was going on, she was too leave and go to Dumbledore, who would help her out. Lola was tearful as she said goodbye, which I expected but she soon perked up as we entered the Gryffindor common room. Running off to join her friends, I smiled as I watched her tell them something, her face bright and animated before laughing and sitting down. Seeing that she was okay, I was about to head to my dorm when Remus stood in front of me, a small smile gracing his lips.
“Are you okay?”
I nodded, eyebrow raised. “Yes, of course I am. What did you think was going to happen?” He didn’t answer and I laughed. “She’s not a monster, she leaves that job to my father. But there was one thing.”
Before Remus could ask what was on my mind, Potter and Sirius came into view, their faces giving away why they were stood in front of me and i stopped my conversation with Remus. He could hear my concerns another time.
“So?” I ignored Potter’s question and walked over to the sofa’s which were conveniently free by the time I arrived there, the two Gryffindor’s occupying them not wanting to be near me in case I bit their heads off or hexed them. I quickly sat down and waited for the boys to sit around me to answer them.
“There was no hexing? Or shouting? Or even a heated exchange?”
I shook my head. “Sorry to disappoint you but no, there was nothing. As I said to Remus, my mother isn’t a monster, that’s my father’s job. I have nothing to tell you about what’s going on. She didn’t really mention Voldemort, only how my father has been busier with ‘work’ and by work, we all know what that means.”
“I can’t believe we hung around to only hear that.”
I glared at Potter, who was nudged by Sirius. “Sorry.”
I nodded and stood up. “I’m going to bed. Night.”
And I left them to discuss what a disappointment my mother had been.
It could have only been early as I was woken up by movement. Opening one eye, I groaned as I saw Evans up and about, fully dressed and ready to leave.
“Have you ever heard of a thing called sleep? Or a thing called a lie in? They are wonderful things.”
“Sorry, I keep forgetting that I don’t have the place to myself anymore. I’ll try to be quieter next time.”
I rolled my eyes and sat up, rubbing a hand over my face. “You need to learn to stop being so bloody nice, it won’t get you anywhere.”
As expected, she said nothing horrible to me in her reply.
“Hmmmm, maybe but sometime being nice is all you need.” I watched her as she packed her and out her shoes on. “I’ll see you later.”
Shaking my head, I got out of bed, knowing that there was no way I was ever getting back to sleep and began getting ready, heading for a shower first before getting dressed and heading down for breakfast, something I had not done on a Saturday since my first week of Hogwarts. Walking in, the hall was busier than I had thought it would be but seeing as it was mainly Ravenclaw’s, it wasn’t too surprising, the swots that they are. I took a seat at the Gryffindor table, still a thing I found strange and I quietly got on with breakfast, occasionally glancing at the students around me. The Slytherin table was empty, which was normal. No one ever went to breakfast on a Saturday, you could say it was a house rule of sorts. I suppose it made the rest of the students happy and relaxed, knowing they wouldn’t be hexed as soon as they walked in. It was only now I realised how horrible Slytherins were, how horrible I was. I guess being around people who acted the same, I never noticed because we all did the same thing, it was routine, just who we were. But now, being on the receiving end of a Slytherin grudge, I could sympathise with all those whose life I had made miserable.
Shouting brought me out of my thoughts and my head turned in the direction it was coming from. Standing up, I cursed. Being surrounded by Gryffindor’s day in, day out made me act like the hero, rather than the bystander. I left the Great Hall and followed the shouting until I come across the source. I could hear the shouting more clearly now and as I edged closer, I could see it was Evans and Snape in heated discussion. I hung back, not wanting to get involved but when I heard the word ‘mudblood’ I knew I had to intervene. Stepping forward, I had my wand ready and pointed at Snape.
“Leave Evans alone, Snape.”
He turned to me and snarled. “Go away blood traitor.”
The word no longer stung and I smirked.
“Is that all you’ve got Snape? You never were the brightest wizard, were you? Apart from playing with your little chemistry set.” He snarled again and was about to raise his want but I had beaten him to it and aimed it at his throat. “Now leave Evans alone or I’ll tell everyone in Slytherin that you’re not a pureblood. I can’t see them taking it that well, can you?”
His eyes narrowed but he put his wand down and turned back to Evans. “Fine, but don’t say I didn’t warn you, mudblood. You’ll be sorry.”
“Was that a threat, Snape? I don’t think you’re in the position to make threats, are you? Go and run along to your friends, Snivellus.” He had once told me how much he hated that nickname, hated all the nicknames he was called but I could see why he was called them; he was a sneaky, slimy git who could be as mean as he wanted to be, even to Evans, who continuously defended him to Potter and Sirius, which I had witnessed many times in my short stay at the Gryffindor tower.
He said nothing else and slinked off back towards the dungeons. Making sure he was out of range, I put my wand away and turned to Evans. “You okay?” She nodded and I sighed. “Now do you do see why I’m not nice? It never gets you anywhere.”
“You say you’re not nice yet you just stood up for me. What does that make you if you’re not nice?” I didn’t answer and picked her bag up, which must have been flung in the argument.
“Here you go. Be careful with him, next time I might not be around to stop him from doing something. He’s a horrible person, no matter how much you want to see the good in him.”
I walked away and headed off back to the tower, not keen on anymore confrontations or conversations for that matter with anyone or anything, a glare to the portraits enough to stop them daring to say a word to me.
“Well if it isn’t the good Samaritan.” I looked up from the book I was reading and saw Sirius standing at the door of the dorm.
“How do you get up here, exactly? And why are you here?” Sirius smirked and took a seat on the end of my bed.
“I can’t tell you the answer to the first question but as for the second, I am here because I heard you were nice today and helped Lily out with Snivellus. Rather decent for an ex snake, are we rubbing off on you?”
I rolled my eyes, he was taking a simple gesture way too far. “I was hardly going to leave her with Snivellus, was I? I have never liked the slimeball and when he called her a ‘mudblood’, I knew I had to intervene.”
“That’s why you helped? Because he called her a mudblood?” I nodded and he frowned. “Why would you react to that? You were in a house, an environment where it’s said over a hundred times a day.”
“I have never liked the word.” I closed the book I had on my lap, knowing I wasn’t going to finish it and put it on my bedside table. “Look, it wasn’t a big deal, it’s over and done with so now we can forget about it.”
“Lily thinks you’re a really nice girl, underneath the scowl and glares.” I scoffed.
“Well clearly she has bad judgement of people because I’m not, even you know that.” Sirius smirked and nodded.
“Yes I do. Well I must be going now, McKinnon is waiting for me. Next time you do something nice, make sure I’m around, I want to see the pigs flying in the sky.”
He left before I could say anything in response and I sighed. This was why I wasn’t nice, because people always found out and for some reason it made people think that they could approach me, which was what I tried to avoid.
Lily walked in minutes after Sirius left and I glared at her. “I see you’ve told everyone that I’m the new nice girl around here? On what scale are we talking here? 50 people? Over a hundred? Well over 300? I didn’t realise how quickly gossip could spread.”
“I only told Potter because he asked me why I looked shaken up a little. He clearly will have told Sirius and Remus but I can’t see the guys spreading it, they love knowing things that nobody else knows.” She walked over to her bed and took her shoes off, sitting down. There was a pause before she spoke again. “Thank you, by the way. I didn’t say it before.”
I nodded, not used to gratitude. It was a strange feeling, one I wasn’t sure I liked. “Okay, just make sure it doesn’t happen again. I would like to keep up the ice queen act if I could, it stops people from wanting to talk to me.
I saw Evans smile a little and laugh, “I’ll try my best to avoid anyone that might say anything horrible to me. Scout’s honour.”
“Scout’s honour, muggle phrase.”
I nodded in understanding and gave a small smile to Evans before going back to my discarded book.
“You’re not so bad, Evans.”
Not so bad at all.
translations - nena - baby
momia - mummy
tesoro - treasure
te quiero - i love you
A/N: Another chapter is out but the next few maybe be slow because we've had snow here in England and i had to be the one who falls and breaks their elbow so it means i am pecking at the keyboard so new chapters are going to be slow in progress but there will be more, i promise. Hope you enjoyed it!
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