“I'm sorry, I know you deserved better but now it's too late and I've only myself to blame,” he stopped, his voice cracking and she smiled up at him.
“No...you...perfect,” her breathing was raspy and her voice was sparse as she tried to reassure him. She was lying on the bed at home, the red walls of the bedroom somewhat of a comfort to her.
“Hermione, shh, you need to rest. I should have made you rest years ago, brought you up breakfast in bed once in a while, looked after the kids more so you could have gone out,” her eyes were closing but a tear escaped and rolled down her pale face. Her once brown hair was now more grey and fell around her face, the usual bushiness gone. She twitched her hand a few times before it eventually turned over and it was palm up on the pale pink bed covers. Ron knew what she wanted and placed his hand in his, lying his head next to hers to kiss her forehead.
“Love, I'm sorry but I promise to look after the kids better, well the best I can. It should be me going, I know, but I promise to try and make you happy now, even if it is a little too late,” he moved her hair out of her face and a tear fell out of his eye as she closed her eyes.
“Already...happy. Love...you,” she managed to get out before her chest stopped moving and she just lay there. The tears started to fall down Ron's face but he didn't move, he just lay his head next to hers keeping there hands together.
The room had turned dark before a knock on the door broke Ron out of his trance like state and Harry and Ginny walked in. One look at Ron's tear-stained face and his wild, downcast expression was enough confirmation for them but neither knew what to say.
“What am I going to do without her?” Ron sobbed and Ginny felt a tear try to escape at her brothers obvious pain but she held it back as she walked over to him. She had to be strong for him, he needed her now.
“I know Ron, it'll be okay though, it will,” he shook his head as she hugged him but he didn't contradict her, just allowed the tears to fall. “Come back to mine and Harry's for tonight, we'll...”
“No, I'm not, not leaving her,” he told her, shaking his head and she looked at Harry.
“Ron mate, I'm sorry, I really am but there's nothing you can do here. Go with Ginny and I promise to make sure she is looked after and I'll let everyone else know, okay?” Ron only nodded before pulling himself to his feet and looking down at Hermione. She looked so peaceful, almost like she was sleeping.
“Can I, just a moment,” he couldn't get a sentence out but Harry seemed to understand and motioned for Ginny to follow him out of the room.
“We'll just be outside,” Ron nodded and waited till he heard the door click behind them before he started speaking.
“I,” everything he wanted to say seemed to get stuck in his throat and he just held her hand, his whole body stooped forward like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. “Love you Hermione, always have, always will, I promise,” and with that he let go of her hand and walked out of the door.
The cold air swept around him as he sat down and stared at the green grass. He used to like coming here, it had been her favourite place and it wasn't hard to see why. Even in the winter, when the weather was bad, the place still held a special something, especially since snow was her favourite weather. It was as if the area held a light but ever since Hermione had gone the light had went out. Not just that light, but the light in Ron's life had also been extinguished. It had almost been two years since Hermione had passed away and it never go easier. The only reason he got up in the mornings was for his kids, there kids. There perfect children who reminded him of her, Rose's looks and brains and Hugo's personality, they were all hers. He wiped a tear away from his eye and stared at the headstone, it was littered with flowers and letters from family members.
Hermione Jean Granger.
Died, aged 27.
A loving mother and wife,
will be missed by all who knew her.
Ron didn't like the headstone, he didn't think it told the truth. She was more then 'missed', when she died he could barley go on. Harry and Ginny looked after the kids for a while so Ron could get his head around it all but in truth he never really got his head around it. How was he supposed to? His whole world had gone, all it took was a split second and that was it, gone. It was the never coming back part that was the hardest, how could she just not come back? He would still find himself staring at the door, half expecting her to walk through the door to him with her smile on her face and an apology about how she had gotten caught up at work. Then reality would hit him; she wouldn't be coming back.
The tears were falling freely now and he didn't even attempt to try and stop them, there was no point. They fell into the grass and he dropped his head, the energy to hold it up leaving him, his red hair falling in front of his face. His fingers absent-mindedly started playing with the plain gold band on his left hand, the only ring he'd ever wore in his life. He remembered there wedding day, it was simple but perfect and it was one of Ron's favourite memories. Hermione had looked so happy, she looked gorgeous too and when they were dancing Ron had found it hard to believe that this smart, funny, gorgeous women was meant for him. He hadn't wanted to let her go, they had stayed dancing for what seemed like hours just dancing together, her head resting on his shoulder and he held her close.
Ron barley noticed when the air turned colder and the sky faded to darkness, he was too wrapped up in memories but something inside of him reminded him that he needed to pick up the kids before they began to wonder where he was. He conjured up a rose and placed it at the front of the headstone before getting to his feet and just staring at it. He always tried to say goodbye every time he left but it was hard, like he was saying goodbye again and again.
“The kids miss you, Rose especially. I told her you were a star and now she says goodnight to the stars every night,” the cold air suddenly dropped and everything fell still. All the trees, the flowers they all stopped moving and it took all of Ron's strength not to cry again, it felt like she was watching him. As he started to leave, to disaparate to the Burrow he uttered his goodbye.
“Love you Hermione, always have, always will, I promise.”
He didn't see the snow that started to fall.
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