A/N: Sensitive Issue/Topic. If you can't handle it, don't read on :)
Her fingers ran softly over her lips, tracing them slightly as she remembered the feeling of his lips on hers as of not even two minutes ago. A sigh escaped her lips and she felt herself relax into him as his arms snaked around her shoulders, pulling her into him. Her head dropped on to his chest and she found herself breathing in sync with him.
He was long gone, when he met me
And I realised, the joke is on me
When she’d first met him, things were fabulous. Ella had just got out of a three year long relationship; baggage from school. They’d been together since sixth year and she thought she loved him. But once they’d gotten out of school, things just weren’t the same. They had moved in together and everyone was expecting a proposal any day now – that just never happened. Before anyone could realise what was going on, Ella had found herself on her best friend’s doorstep asking if she could crash there for a couple of days until she’d found herself a flat. It was all downhill for her from there on – she found herself moving back in with him because there weren’t any cheap flats available in the part of London she was looking to live in. That’s when she met him, the guy next door. He was the stereotype of tall dark and handsome. There was something about him that she couldn’t quite put her finger on what attracted her; this aura of mystery that surrounded him. As their eyes met, she found herself smiling at him; the first time she’d smiled properly at a guy who wasn’t her ex, in years.
Things just escalated from there. She moved in with guy-next-door, or John, as he was known and things were great. Three months later, she found herself walking into their flat, her ring finger no longer empty.
Once upon a time, a few mistakes ago
I was in your sights, you got me alone,
You found me, you found me-e-e-e
Ella shuddered as the feeling of his hand on her skin flashed through her mind and felt herself curl up on her bed into an even tighter ball. Cold sweat trickled down her face and she reached up to wipe it off before pull the comforter tighter around her. She shut her eyes tightly, willing the thoughts and the memories of what had happened to her, go away. Her teeth dug into her bottom lip as another shudder passed through her body; this time a shot of electricity passed through her spine and her face grew hot.
No apologies, he’ll never see you cry
Pretends he doesn’t know, that he’s the reason why
You’re drowning, you’re drowning, you’re drowning-i-i-ing
“I’m sorry, I’ll just clean up here.” Ella told him, her back to him, as she wiped the tears off her cheeks before clutching the dishtowel and walking into the kitchen with her head bowed, so he couldn’t see her face.
“Are you okay?” he asked from in front of the telly. “Yeah, I’m fine. Mum called today, she wanted to know how you were,” Ella replied, making conversation and steering the topic of discussion as from her as possible.
“Did you tell her about the new job?” John asked her, his voice growing closer. He was probably making his way to the kitchen.
“Yeah, I told her you were in Hermione Granger’s department now. She seemed happy.” Ella replied, a smile on her lips.
“Did you also tell her how you were turning into the perfect housewife?” he asked her, his arms tightly wrapped around her waist. She felt his lips on her shoulder and felt her eyes flutter shut. “I’m working Johnny,” she said softly.
“Can’t it wait?”
“Do you like a dirty kitchen?” she asked, smirking and rolling her eyes.
“Well, I like you better.” He replied, cheekily. Ella laughed turning around and kissed him on the lips, her heart lighter. She couldn’t remember why she had been crying ten minutes ago.
He was long gone, when he met me
And I realised, the blame is on me
“But Mum, I love him. He’s just going through a bad phase, that’s all. It’ll pass.” Ella told her mother, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Hannah Mason’s face was coloured with concern for her daughter. “He’s – he’s –” She stuttered, unable to finish the sentence.
Ella laughed, the laugh not quite reaching her eyes. “I can manage mum, don’t worry. He loves me, he wouldn’t hurt me.” She told her mother, almost as if she was trying to convince herself.
Everyone doubted her and Johnny, but they’d get through this. They’d told them that they wouldn’t last, that she was too good for him – that he was good for nothing, especially not her. He hadn’t been a good student when he’d been at school, barely passing in the seventh year, whereas she’d been among the top ten of her class when she’d graduated some five years after he had. She’d been in the same year as Rose Weasley and Albus Potter; they weren’t her best friends but they’d greeted each other in the hallways, it ended there. Like every other girl in her year, at first Ella had somewhat of a crush on Albus, but that soon went away when Johnny and she had got together. Ella was a timid girl, that’s how her best friends described her and Johnny was boisterous, predictably among the troublemakers and pranksters of the school.
“Johnny?” she said, calling him. John looked up from whatever he’d been doing. “Do you love me?” she asked hesitantly, her teeth digging slightly into her bottom lip.
And the saddest fear, comes creeping in,
That you never loved me, or her,
Or anyone, or anything.
He looked up at her, his eyes holding her gaze. She blinked and he smiled, “Have you spoken to Rose Weasley recently?” he asked, smoothly changing the topic.
Ella’s heart skipped a beat and she felt it fall to the pit of her stomach. She felt a lump form in her throat and she tried to keep the tears at bay. She was overreacting. Maybe he just hadn’t heard her.
She looked away and said, “No, I haven’t had the chance to ring her yet.”
“But I asked you to call her two days ago,” Johnny said sounding angry all of a sudden.
“Yeah, I know babe. I’ve been meaning to call but –” Ella began, but she never got to finish her sentence because Johnny had already crossed the room and was in front of her, his face contorted in anger.
“When I tell you to do something for me, you bloody well do it – right away. I asked you to call Rose Weasley and ask her to get her mum to promote me next month. I told you to do that. Is it so hard to follow instructions Ella?” he snarled.
Ella whimpered as his lips came crashing down on hers. Her limbs acted of their own accord and she found herself kissing his back. It wasn’t long before he had her pinned against the wall, kissing her furiously. He picked her up by her thighs and she wound her legs around his waist as his lips attacked her neck.
A moan escaped her lips and suddenly she was aware of what was going on.
“Stop,” she said softly as his lips continued their assault on her. When he didn’t seem to have heard her, she pulled away and placed her hands on his chest. “Stop it,” she continued. “What are you doing John?”
“I’m kissing you babe,” he replied laughing. With a shake of his head, he leant down and brushed his lips against hers once again.
“But –” Ella began between kisses but he silenced her with his lips. Defeated, Ella lost herself in the moment and let it go, like she always did.
I knew you were trouble when you walked in,
So shame on me now, blew me to places I’d never been
Now I’m lying on the cold hard ground,
Trouble, trouble, trouble
A year and a half later, Ella gathered the courage to pack her bags and leave. On a rainy summer evening, she found herself on her best friend’s doorstep, asking her if she could stay with her for a while till she had figured things out. Seven months later, Ella and John had finalised their divorce and Ella had John reported to the police. He’d been sent to prison and Ella found herself heaving a sigh. She hadn’t known how much he’d hurt until she’d taken a step back and thought about what he was doing to her. She hadn’t found anything wrong in what he’d been putting her through. It was only when she’d seen Rose Weasley and her husband when she’d gone over to her house to talk to her about John’s promotion had Ella realised how badly John had been treating her.
Standing up to John had been difficult. He’d only gotten worse, getting drunk every night ad coming home and taking it out on her. Ella had even had to terminate a pregnancy and hide it from John. She didn’t want to have his son or daughter; but more than that, she didn’t want to bring a baby into a world where his father hit his mother. It took a while for Ella to come to terms with the fact that he didn’t love her; even if he did, it was the kind of love that was poisonous.
Ella’s relationship with John had been such a far cry from the kind she’d had with Greg, from back in school. Even though she was now Greg’s neighbour, she’d get through this. Ella had realised that she deserved better. After all, we accept the love we think we deserve.
It was time to change that.
A/N: Hi guys! It's been sooooo long! Hope y'all have been well. I haven't written in more than two years so I'm super rusty. Please do let me know what you think of this because I'm also writing a novella/novel so yeah :)
Oh and the lyrics aren't mine, they've been taken from Taylor Swift's I Knew You Were Trouble from her latest album, Red.