Chapter 17 : Second Chances Gone
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“Emma, what the bloody hell was that?!” he asked. He was definitely upset. That was obvious.
“It was nothing,” I said honestly.
“Yeah, ok, I’ll believe that,” he said sarcastically. He began to walk away again. I let him go, until he turned around again to say something.
“You know, Emma, this just boggles my mind really. I mean, out of all the people in Hogwarts, I thought you would be the least bit low to do something like this.”
“George, it’s not what you think.”
“Yeah, I’m sure that’s what a lot of people thought about you, Emma,” he said turning from me. He then stopped and turned to me once more.
“And what kills me even more is that it hasn’t even been a full 24 hours. You used Fred, Emma, how do you expect him to be okay with this?! You used him as the rebound! If you still were in love with Oliver you should have said something instead…instead of THIS!” he finished kicking the dirt. I was going to cry. It hurt so bad inside. I couldn’t bare it.
He turned to leave again. I grabbed his arm but he broke from it. I then noticed Fred coming down the hill toward both of us. I felt my heart stop. George was going to tell him. I knew it. I had to get to Fred before he did. I had to.
“Fred!” I called racing for him. He smiled when he saw me. God, stupid Oliver! I would murder him in his sleep tonight. I saw George start walking faster to him. I increased my pace as well. George started to jog a bit. It was like this competition. A race. We finally were both running with all our might to him. He stopped and walked back a bit, a bit weirded out by the two of us running at him.
“Fred!” George said out of breath when he got to him. “Fred - ”
“Baby, what’s wrong?” he said looking at me and ignoring George. I was dead frozen. There were about twenty lumps in my throat and my stomach was going in a hundred million directions. I couldn’t talk. I couldn’t let him know...but I couldn't let George tell him either.
“Baby?” he said coming closer to me.
“No, Fred!” George said cutting him off from me. “She needs to tell you something.” George glared at me, letting me know that if I didn’t tell him he would.
“…Emma?” Fred asked, a confused look on his face. I opened my mouth but there was silence. I couldn’t tell him. I knew I had to – but I couldn’t.
“I - …Oliver – …”
“Oliver what?” he said turning to George. He now looked really worried. And like he was ready to kick some ass. I expected George to come right out and say it, to rat me out like the rat he was. Instead, he just stood there and looked down. He couldn’t say it either.
“OH MY GOD, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING – ”
“He kissed me, Fred!” I broke him off. Fred’s eyes froze on mine as the light from them left.
“…What?” he asked, dumbfounded. I couldn’t look at him. I would start crying if I did.
“…We kissed…” I told him, looking at the ground. I managed to look up at him. He was pissed. I saw his eyes get glossy. Mine did the same. I couldn’t look away from his eyes as badly as I wanted to. And I wanted to bad.
“…I’m sorry,” I said, the tears starting to fall. He shook his head at me and turned to leave, but I ran after him.
“Fred, it wasn’t my fault! I – ”
“It wasn’t your fault?!” he screamed, turning around. “You fucking kissed him, Emma, and that doesn’t make it your fault?!”
“Fred, please,” I said trying to explain.
“What, was some spell put on you or something?! Or did you trip and your lips just happen to fall on his!!” Holy shit was he pissed. But was that really a surprise? I felt the same way when he kissed Angelina…and we weren’t even dating then…
“Fred, it wasn’t like that. Just, please, listen – ”
“What is there to listen to, Emma?!” he continued. “You made out with your fucking ex and now expect me to just LISTEN to your excuses?!”
“Fred – ”
“Shut up, Emma!” he screamed, closing his eyes. The sting of his words cut deep and, even if I wanted to, I couldn’t find the words to say to him. He opened his eyes and they met mine, but it wasn’t a moment like usual. No, there was no redemption in his eyes; no forgiveness or sympathy. His eyes got glossy as his anger grew and I knew I had hurt him. Hell, how couldn’t I have? I was hurt myself.
‘Way to FUCKING GO, Emma!’ I told myself as my eyes got glossy too. ‘Way to fucking go…’
He stared at me for another moment, the look he gave burning into my memory.
“I’m done with you, Emma,” he said before looking away. He shook his beautiful red hair as he looked upward at the sky. “I’m done.”
He looked at me one last time before he turned around and left. I would always remember the look he gave me. It was a sad, hurt look. I wanted to beg him to stay, beg him to listen, to tell him the truth…but I couldn’t. Not anymore. That chance was gone. He would never listen. AND WHY WOULD HE?! Why would he listen to me after what I just did to him?! There was no second chance, and I knew there never would be.
I hated myself at that very moment and knew I could never forgive myself. He would never forgive me. And that made me hate myself even more. Because it wasn’t just that I had lost the love of my life…I had lost my best friend.
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