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Chapter 31 : Forgiving and Understanding
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Vivian stood still staring into the large six foot hole in the ground, Scorpius stood beside her, staring at the ground with her. She stood still, not sure how watching her father being lowered into this overly large gaping hole was going to give her any closure.
“I can’t watch this,” She whispered but unable to pull her eyes away from it.
“You’ll regret it if you don’t,” Scorpius whispered reaching to grab Vivian’s hand and giving it a squeeze.
Scorpius had needed to get off the school grounds just so that he wouldn’t have to be around Rose, avoiding her for a month was nearly impossible, but he had not wanted to do it under these circumstances.
Vivian breathed slowly, she hated thinking that this day was coming and she noticed over holiday that her father was becoming sicker and sicker at a very rapid pace, but still she was not prepared to hear from Headmistress McGonagall that her father had finally passed, four days ago.
Looking up Vivian watched as her mother shuddered and wept, for the most part her mother had spent the last fifteen years doing everything in her power to keep her husband alive and it wasn’t enough.
Stepping forward Vivian let go of Scorpius’ hand, walking closer to the grave, gripping onto the single white rose for strength. It was time for her to say goodbye, she knew that this was the last time she would ever be near her father’s presences in this life. Admittedly she didn’t know her father well, honestly she never saw much of him. When she was home her mother would sometimes make her go into his room and talk to him. Thinking back on it her father always seemed so happy when she went to go see him, his eyes lighting up as she walked into the room, even though he knew that she didn’t want to be there.
Feeling her eyes begin to water it pained her to think that her father knew she was only talking to him because she was forced to not because she wanted to. She wanted more than anything to talk to him now, tell him that she loved him and that she was sorry, but she couldn’t.
A part of her didn’t want to move, a part of her wanted to stay and just stare at the coffin forever. Slowly Vivian let the flower slip from her fingers in the grave. She couldn’t help but to start to sob, feeling as her body shook she thought that she might collapse. Suddenly she felt a pair of arms wrap around her.
Vivian knew who it was immediately, and she was grateful as she turned her head into his chest and let Bryan support and cradle her as she cried.
After the service Scorpius watched as Vivian whipped away her tears, leaning her head up to whisper something in Bryan’s ear. He nodded his head as she slowly let go of his arms and walked over to her where her mother was standing.
“So what made you decide to come?” Scorpius noting the fact that he hadn’t talked to Vivian in nearly six weeks.
Bryan sighed as he looked over to Vivian, “I love her.” He said simply as if that was all that needed to be said.
Scorpius looked down to the ground knowing exactly what Bryan meant, that you do anything for the ones you love, even if it means being forced to move on. “You should get over there.” He said looking over to where Vivian stood.
“Yeah,” he mumbled beginning to walk away before he said “So I’ll see you back at school,”
Scorpius nodded his head turning to look at his father who was standing across the cemetery who was standing by himself as his mother was giving her condolences to Vivian’s. Scorpius knew that he had hurt his father in blaming him for the ruin of the Malfoy name. It wasn’t fair of him to say that, the Malfoy name had always been a bit shady, and when under the influence of Lord Vodemort what choice did his father have but to join the death eaters when he was sixteen, it was either that or die. When he thought about it, his father and he weren’t that different they spent a majority of their lives fighting against their name and trying to make it somewhat respectable. Scorpius knew that no matter how much good a person has done people only remember the bad things, and to be honest he was sure that he would have hit someone too if they had insulted him in the way he had insulted his father, by making him feel guilty for something that he really didn’t have that much control of.
Looking back down to the ground Scorpius realized that he didn’t want to end up like Vivian, feeling guilty because she didn’t spend time with her father when he was alive. They were both wrong in the actions, and that if they were ever going to get past this one of them was going to have to make the first move. Closing his eyes Scorpius took a deep breath, and walked toward his father.
Feeling the presence of someone in front of him Draco looked up from the ground with shocked eyes. He didn’t say anything as he slowly straightened his posture and clinched his jaw together. Watching as Draco crossed his arms, Scorpius had forgotten how intimidating his father could truly be, but he didn’t lose his nerve. Instead he crossed his own arms and met his father with the same intimidating features, refusing to back down from this.
“Do you have something to say?” Draco asked coolly, raising an eyebrow.
Scorpius starred down his father, he hadn’t exactly planned on what he was going to say, so he said the only thing that came to his mind which was “I’m proud to be a Malfoy... and even more than that I am proud to call you my father.”
Draco stood very still as took deep breathes, his harsh exterior not changing in the slightest, which Scorpius didn’t expect it to. His father was never one for emotions so why would he start now, although the silence between them was deafening. “Scorpius this is neither the time nor place.” Draco said a little too quickly.
Attempting to walk around his son, Scorpius blocked him. “Will you for once just listen to me?” he asked forcing his father to look into his eyes. “I’m sorry that I ended up being a disappointment to you and I’m sorry that I used your weakness to hurt you.” Scorpius wouldn’t apologize for falling in love.
“I know that you have spent a majority of your life fighting back against what you did all so that I could have the slightest chance for a better life, and for me to take all of that hard work and throw it back in your face makes me no better than you when you were my age, and I’m sorry.” Scorpius breathed quickly, his pulse rushing from talking so fast. “I understand now that you are only trying to give me the future that you were denied and for that I am grateful.” He finished.
Scorpius noticed the shift in Draco’s posture “Scorpius what is the point of this conversation?”.
“I don’t know,” Scorpius said honestly “Maybe it’s because I don’t want to be one of those people who hurts someone to get even and then pretends that they have no guilt afterwards.”
Draco, who uncrossed his arms clamped a hand on his son’s shoulder, forcing Scorpius to look into his eyes “You will never be one of those people Scorpius.” He said sternly tightening his grip on Scorpius. “I know that I have given you no reason to believe me but trust me when I say that I am not disappointed in you, I may not always understand you but I will never be disappointed by you.”
Scorpius saw the truth behind his father’s words, and for the first time in his entire life he felt accepted by his father. Slowly Draco pulled Scorpius into his chest holding him in a hug.
That night Scorpius stayed at Vivian’s house, she didn’t want to be alone and her mother only wanted to be left alone.
Scorpius sat on the floor of the very pink bed room looking around at the pictures on the wall of he and Vivian when they were little and then ones of he and Bryan they were at Hogwarts, half of these pictures he didn’t even know Vivian had taken but Vivian always had a way of surprising people.
Looking at Vivian who was sitting across from him and leaning her head on Bryan’s shoulder he said “I beginning to feel like you’ve stalked us.”
“I was right in front of you when I took them.” She answered tiredly, not opening her eyes.
She had a point, every time Vivian would start to feel sentimental she would pull out her camera and start to take pictures, it would go through phases. Scorpius guessed he hadn’t realized how often she had done it though.
“This is a bit of overkill.” Bryan joked.
“Shut up,” Vivian muttered forcing Bryan to laugh and give Vivian’s shoulder a squeeze.
“It’s funny how so much time has passed and it doesn’t feel like it has at all.” Scorpius whispered.
Vivian opened her eyes and looked at Scorpius, she wondered if he was talking about their history or about Rose. Looking at the more recent pictures it was weird to think that the entire time he was having this secret friendship and then relationship with Rose Weasley, looking at him in those pictures one would never be able to tell.
Breathing in the fresh air that came in from her window, she noticed how the sky was no longer black and how it had changed to a more purple color representing right before dawn.
“This year has been an eventful one.” She said quietly looking up at Bryan who only smiled.
“I’d have to agree,” he said pulling her a little tighter to him.
Scorpius only nodded his head, as he stared at the ground his mind no longer focused on the conversation.
“Scorpius what are you thinking about?” Vivian asked.
Yawning Scorpius said “I can’t decide if this was the best year of my life or the worst?”
This took Bryan and Vivian off guard, since he told them about the breakup he hadn’t mentioned anything having to do with Rose Weasley. He seemed to have been doing fine, showing no sign of really anything. So for him to say this they could only look at him.
Slowly Scorpius said “She won’t even look at me. I don’t understand how you can go through so much with someone and then pretend that they don’t exist. I mean is she not even curious about how I’m doing because that’s all I wonder about her.”
“But aren’t you still partners with her? I thought that that class had a strict no switching partners policy.” Vivian asked.
“Apparently if you are the daughter of Ron and Hermione Weasley and the niece to Harry Potter an exception can be made.” Scorpius said bitterly.
Shocked Bryan said “She seriously played that card?”
“I don’t have proof but I’m pretty sure it was the only card she had to play.” Scorpius paused for a moment “I feel like I’m being treated as some fling that she had for three months to pass the time. Never mind the fact that I would have done anything to keep her.”
Bryan and Vivian were silent, not sure how to respond to this. “You seemed to have it together mate.” Bryan said.
Scorpius shook his head “I have to keep it together to be able to handle it, but the truth is I don’t want to handle this.”
Vivian replied “But if you don’t handle it then you will never move past it.”
“That’s the thing, this isn’t something that I want to fix and say problem solved because the problem won’t be solved. I don’t want to move past this, I just want her.”
Vivian felt bad for Scorpius, she didn’t like seeing him in this much pain, and even though she had predicted exactly what would happen, she had hoped that she would have been wrong.
Softly Vivian asked “Do you regret it?”
Scorpius looked up from the spot on the ground that he had been staring at. “Not for a second.”
Vivian nodded her head and said sternly “Then this couldn’t have possibly been the worst year of your life.”
Scorpius smiled, for what felt like the first time in a month. “I suppose not.” Was all he said as he looked out the window to see the sun shining.
Over the past six weeks Rose threw herself into her studies, more so than before, she rarely talked to people and when she did her conversations were usually short and to the point. She had become surprisingly talented at making herself disappear and become unnoticed in a crowed.
The news of the breakup had spread quicker than the news of their relationship. At first Rose didn’t think that she could handle it. All of those staring eyes and whispers that she knew were about her, but eventually the news became old and people began to talk about new gossip that didn’t involve her.
Thankfully for Rose she had friends that respected the fact that she wanted some space. Jill, who had become her new Potions partner, was much more of an independent worker than Scorpius was and she would make a point to give Rose her half of the assignments twice a week. Hugo, although Rose said he didn’t half to would eat his meals at the Gryffindor table, so that Rose wouldn’t have to be alone. As for Stacy, she was the one that was really torn, because she heard both sides of every situation from Bryan, and being the gossip that she was, Rose was grateful for the fact that she kept her mouth shut when she was around, although Rose knew that it was probably killing her. In a way, an awkward way, Rose had become comfortable.
The only person that didn’t seem to get the point was Albus. Rose had absolutely no desire to talk to him, yes she loved him but if he were to magically fall into a pit of fire, she probably wouldn’t have gone to the funeral. But that didn’t stop him from trying to talk to her. He always managed to find her, even though he would swear up and down that he didn’t have that bloody map, she was pretty sure that over the Christmas Holliday James had given it to him. The fact that he would find her in the most secret of places, practically gave it away. Albus was determined, every day he would hunt her down and try to talk to her, bloody hell he was determined, and every day she would ignore him. Rose knew that the situation wasn’t entirely his fault and when she really thought about it none of it was his fault, all he was guilty of was telling her the truth and expressing his opinion, but she couldn’t help but blame him.
It was lovely spring day in May, and while everyone else seemed to enjoy being outside and enjoying each other’s company, Rose stayed inside, in the third floor of the Library refreshing herself on some old charms that she had a feeling would end up on the N.E.W.T.S. exam.
“Hey,” a familiar but unexpected voice said. Rose slowly turned around in her chair to see the blond girl standing a safe distance away from the table that she was sitting at. “Mind if I sit?” Vivian asked politely.
Rose continued to only stare, slowly turning her head around she looked back down to her book. Vivian huffed and walked over to the table taking the seat across from Rose.
“I would have expected you to gloat six weeks ago,” Rose said sharply looking up to Vivian’s face.
“I’m not here to gloat.” Vivian said with an edge to her own voice.
Taking a deep breath Rose looked back down at her book, hoping that if she just ignored her, Vivian would do what Albus did, which was give up and leave. However after nearly an hour of reading the same sentence Rose finally asked “Don’t you have somewhere that you have to be?”
Vivian only smiled “Nope I opened up my entire afternoon just to watch you read, good technique by the way, not turning the page I like it.” She said crossing her arms.
Rose could have just gotten up and left but Vivian seemed like one of those people who would go to great lengths to accomplish a task. Taking a deep breath Rose asked the one question that had been running through her head since the moment Vivian said hello “How is he?” She knew that she was torturing herself by asking it but she would have been torturing herself not to ask as well.
Vivian thought for moment before she decided that she was going to sugar coat anything for Rose Weasley “Honestly he is miserable.”
Rose wasn’t sure what she wanted to hear. She wasn’t sure if she could handle her saying that he had moved on but on the other hand she wasn’t prepared to hear that she was the cause of his misery.
They sat in silence for a few more minutes, Rose processing what Vivian had said about Scorpius. “I never meant to hurt him.” She whispered staring down to her book.
“Yeah well you did.” Vivian said harshly.
Rose could feel her pulse start rise along with her anger. The only benefit to not being with Scorpius anymore was that she didn’t have to put up with Vivian’s bullshit if she didn’t want to. “Did you ever consider the fact that if you hadn’t let Ben find out about us, then we might still be together?”
“You might still be together, but honestly how long do you think it would have lasted? I know Scorpius better than most people and so do you and you know as well as I that he wouldn’t want to be kept secret for long.” Vivian spat, her own face becoming the slightest bit pink.
“You’re right but you could have let US decided when We thought it was best for OUR relationship to go public.” Rose emphasized on a few key words. “Instead of forcing it on us.”
“And what difference would it have made?” Vivian watched as Rose’s expression became hard. “Would your parent’s reactions have been any different? What about the reaction of that stupid cousin of yours?”
“Don’t talk about Albus like that,” Rose quickly shot back, shocking herself.
“Whatever,” Vivian shrugged “The point is that you would have ended up in the exact same situation.”
Rose became oddly silent “Was it that you hated me so much that you couldn’t stand to see him happy with me?”
Vivian muttered “You Weasley’s are all the same. So arrogant, believing that everything is about you and let me tell you the Potter clan isn’t much better.” Sighing she asked “What makes you think that you had anything to do with my choices?”
Rose pointed a finger at Vivian and said fearfully “First of all don’t talk about my family like that, you can talk about me all you want but cannot just group us all together and pretend that were the same because were not… you don’t know us. And second why did you do it then?”
“Because I knew from the begging that this relationship wasn’t going to work. That every second longer he spent with you he was opening himself up to more pain when you left. Now did I hope that you would have stood up and fought for him like you just fought for your family? Yes.” Vivian pointed her own finger at Rose “But you didn’t. You let your family push you into breaking up with him and Scorpius deserves someone far better than that.”
“You mean someone like you right.” Rose stated coldly.
“No.” Vivian said honestly “I just mean someone better than you, because all you are is a coward.”
Rose didn’t make any witty comments to the fact “Why are you here? Did you come her to insult me or to tell me how happy you are that we’re over.”
“I’m not happy that my best friend is miserable.” She said softly. “I’m here because you have Scorpius believing that you don’t even care about him anymore.”
“He can’t possibly believe that.” Rose quickly stated.
“Well he does.” Vivian said noticing the hurt look on Rose’s face. “I’m not trying to be mean.” She paused trying to think of her words. “I’m telling you because he is my friend and I don’t want him to think that he was nothing to you that is unless you really don’t care.”
“Of course I care.” Rose almost whispered.
“Good, then can you think of a way to let him understand that without breaking his heart again?”
Rose nodded her head, she had a dazed look on her face. She wasn’t sure how she felt about Scorpius thinking that she didn’t care. A part of her felt insulted, how could they have gone through so much and he think that he was nothing and yet another part of her felt guilty, for the pain that she had caused him. Rose was so lost in her thoughts that she almost didn’t notice Vivian walking towards the door.
“Hey Vivian,” she said quickly.
“What,” Vivian said with an impatient look on her face.
“I truly am sorry for your father,” Rose said sincerely.
Vivian shocked by Rose’s considerate gesture could only mutter “Thank you.” As she continued to walk out of the library.
Anyways I hope the chapter isn’t too much of a letdown after such a long wait but I just felt that if I added a Rose/Scorpius scene then it would kind of ruin the mood of the chapter, but the next chapter will defiantly have some. I am going to update two weeks after this one gets published plus whatever the validation wait is… Maybe sooner, so keep your eyes open. So I hope you enjoy the chapter, thank you so much for reading and please please please review I love your feedback.
Only 2 Chapters left… I’m getting excited.
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