Chapter 12 : And if your homesick, give me your hand and i'll hold it.
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“Ready Miss Martinez?”
I was stood outside the Gryffindor common room, alongside Dumbledore and McGonagall. I had been stood here for 10 minutes and made no effort to move and enter, excuse the pun, the Lion’s den. Dumbledore had been patient but I could sense McGonagall was getting annoyed.
“I have things to do, Professor.” I didn’t bother to look at Dumbledore or McGonagall, instead I kept my eyes focused on the Fat Lady, who was openly glaring at me. I narrowed my eyes and she looked away, flushed and I smirked.
“We must enter, Miss Martinez.”
I sighed but nodded and took a step back. Dumbledore walked up to the portrait and smiled at her.
The Fat Lady's eyes bulged out of her head as she stood up, hands on her hips. “I will not allow one of her kind into my common room. She’ll kill all the students in her sleep and then come after me!”
Dumbledore laughed at her dramatics whilst I rolled my eyes. She was right about one thing though, I would come after her if she didn’t shut up. Or at least I would threaten her, that would be enough to scare her.
“Too right I’ll come after you.” I muttered under my breath but loud enough so that she could hear. She shrieked and hid behind the chair she was sat on. I shook my head in disgust, she was meant to be in charge of the bravest house in Hogwarts. Coward.
“Please, she is harmless. Her bark is worse than her bite.”
I glared at this but realised he was only trying to pacify her. In fact, I could see he was quite amused with the situation. Regardless of her frightened state, she let us, the portrait swinging open. I think she only did it to get me away from her.
Walking in after Dumbledore, I felt blinded by all the light and the reds and the gold. It was all so…cheery. I was most definitely in hell. As soon as I came into view, the feeling of eyes on my back and whispering started almost instantaneously. To be honest, I expected it and I wasn’t too bothered. I never did really care what the Gryffindor’s thought of me…I was always too busy looking down on them. I guess the tables were turned now, judging by the haughty looks I was receiving. Keeping my head up, I finally entered the common room, which was filled with students and laughter and candles. I was amazed at how one place in the castle could look so different than the other.
“Professor Dumbledore, Professor McGonagall.”
The sickly sweet voice of Lily Evans sounded in my ears and I groaned. It meant only one thing; I was sleeping in her dorm and Dumbledore had asked her to look out for me and show me the ropes on how to be the biggest know-it-all in the entire school.
“Miss Evans, I’m sure I don’t need to introduce you to Miss Martinez. If you would kindly show her to her room.” Lily nodded and made her way to the stairs. Turning to me, Dumbledore smiled.
“I know you don’t want to be here but give it a chance, you might grow to see things and people, in another light. Good day, Miss Martinez.” I watched as both he and McGonagall left me in the room. Dumbledore had that annoying ‘I know something you don’t know’ smile on his face and I rolled my eyes. I was not in the mood for guessing games. Turning to Evans, I silently followed behind her, glaring at her back.
“Here we are.”
I walked in behind her and was pleasantly surprised to find only 2 beds in the room. Taking it all in, my face must have held a confused look because she answered my question.
“It’s only me and you in here. I’m Head Girl this year but I didn’t want to live in the Head Girl suite so I asked if I could stay here and I got my own room. It belongs to you and I now.”
I nodded and sat down on the bed with the empty bedside table next to it. We stayed in silence until she cleared her throat.
“I’ll be downstairs with the boys, let me know if you need anything.” I didn’t even acknowledge her as she spoke, instead I stood up and walked over to window. I heard her sigh and then footsteps, growing fainter by the second. I was completely alone and I hated the feeling.
I had never been alone before. For one, I was a twin so I since birth, there has always been someone there beside me. Then there is my family, who for the most part, love, loved me dearly. And then there were the others. Rayne had been by my side since first year and then I met everyone else and I enjoyed their company. I had never been in a position where I had no one to turn to.
And now loneliness was a horrifying aspect of my new life.
I guess I just had to get used to it.
“Are you coming to dinner?” Evans had just walked in and dumped her bag onto her neatly made bed.
I shook my head. “No, I’m not hungry.” However, my stomach betrayed me and Evans stood there with a small smile on her face.
“Are you sure?”
I nodded again but I could see she wasn’t satisfied and was about continue talking.
“I think you need to eat. When was the last time you had a proper meal?”
I groaned. “You are not my mother! I will eat when I want to and not when you tell me too, okay?” She was frustrating the hell out of me. I think I would have preferred it if she had been horrible to me or even ignoring me.
“I was just trying to be nice. I’ll see you after dinner, I’ll bring you something back.” She walked out, red hair flying behind her and I rolled my eyes.
She always had to have the last word.
I hated that.
20 minutes later, when I could hear no commotion in the common room, I carefully made my way downstairs, checking to see if the room was empty before stepping into it. I walked around the room, examining the portraits and the notice board and the books. I ran my fingers down the spines of them as I read the titles. They were all happy, heroic tales. Tales of gods and men alike, who beat the bad guys. It was typical Gryffindor.
“See anything you like?” I jumped at the sound of the voice and turned around quickly, my wand in my outstretched hand immediately, in case I was about to get hexed. “I’m not going to hex you.”
I relaxed when I saw Remus Lupin in front of me, at the bottom of the boys’ stairs. Putting my wand away, I managed a small, smile before making my way to sofa, which I found to be comfy and inviting. So much different than the hard, uninviting sofas we had in the common room.
Everything was so different.
“How are you feeling today?” Remus sat beside me as I shrugged.
“Out of place would probably describe it best. And slightly nauseous at the happiness in this place.”
Remus laughed. “It’s a complete change, isn’t it? And don’t worry, you’ll fit in soon enough.”
I scoffed. “That’s not my intention. I’m not Gryffindor material, the Sorting Hat said so and I’m not about to join in with sleepovers and whatever you guys do here. I’m not like you guys.”
“You’re brave. I’d say that makes you a lot like us.”
I got angry at this. “I don’t want to be like you or the others! I want to be in my comfy bed in the Slytherin Dungeons! I want to be in the common room, uncomfortable on the ridiculously hard sofas! I want to be reading a book by the fire and not having to worry that people are going to talk to me just to be polite!”
I put my head in my hands. “I just want everything to be back to how it was. I want everything to be normal.” I whispered this and I felt Remus put his hand on my back. I allowed him to comfort me before standing up.
“What for?” He seemed confused.
“For unloading my feelings onto you. It’s rude.”
“No, it’s not. It’s what people do. You shouldn’t keep things bottle up, it’s not good for you.”
I laughed. “You clearly aren’t educated in the ways of the Pure-Bloods, are you? We must never show emotion in front of anyone. Emotion is weakness. That’s probably why I don’t actually cry properly.”
“Well, feel free to unload on me any time.”
I smiled at his sincerity. He actually meant it. Maybe he would be the one Gryffindor I could tolerate. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Now, are you coming to dinner?”
I shook my head.
“They won’t be able to hurt you, you know.” Remus gave me a sad smiled. “Not with me and the boys around. They won’t get near you.”
“You’re the only one who can stand me. I can’t see the others risking their necks for me.”
“Well, it wouldn’t be for you. It would be for the satisfaction of hexing those snakes if they tried anything on you.” I turned around to find Sirius, Potter and Pettigrew standing where Remus had been not 5 minutes ago.
“Those snakes are my friends!” The words flew out of my mouth before I could stop them.
“No, they were your friends. Get used to saying that. And get used to hearing us slag them off, it’s customary around here to bad mouth snakes at least 5 times a day.”
Sirius was right. They weren’t my friends anymore, so why did I care so much about them being bad mouthed by Gryffindors? They deserved it all yet I couldn’t help but feel anger towards hearing bad things said about them. They had been my friends for near 7 years. I guess that bond was hard to break.
“So, are you coming to dinner?”
Remus’ voice filled my ears and I shook my head. “No, I’m not hungry.”
He nodded although I knew he did not believe me. “Okay, we’ll see you later then.”
He led the group out of the common room and towards the portrait door. I was about to head upstairs when something Potter said stopped me. “I don’t why she is putting off the inevitable, they’re going to come after her sooner or later.”
I knew he was right but somehow his words made me want to curl up into a ball and hideaway even more. So that’s what I did. I marched right up the stairs and hid under the covers of my new, too soft bed.
Maybe everything would just disappear if I never surfaced from this room.
I guess I would just have to test my theory.
A/N - Chapter 12 is finally up! Hope you guys enjoy! Next chapter up soon!
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