As I walked back up to the heads common room my head was a complete blur. Sirius had kissed me. He had actually kissed me, it was rough and passionate and filled with sheer unadulterated anger, but it showed me that he still cared. At least a little bit. The shirt he had given me was still warm and it smelled like him. My mind was a complete wreck, I didn’t know if I was happy or terrified. I was happy and confused over what had just happened with Sirius, but I was also completely terrified knowing that I could have been killed a mere few minutes ago.
God, James was going to murder me and Lily tomorrow. Well, if Sirius didn’t get to me first, he seemed really pissed at me. Honestly I couldn’t blame him, he had specifically asked me not to go out that night, and that was when he thought that we were only going into Hogsmeade! Had he known the plans we actually had it wouldn’t surprise me if he and James locked us girls in a cupboard/ in the heads dorms until the got back.
James was always going on about how important it was for us to be responsible these days, what with everything that was going on. We knew all too well about disappearances, people getting called out of class because a family member was either missing or had been found dead. It was horrible, we were aware that these were dark times, but the thing was, that didn’t make me any less of a seventeen year old. Honestly what it meant was I was much more likely to die young than if I was living when my parents were young.
Didn’t this mean I should live life to its fullest? Actually have some kind of youth rather than having to become an adult before my time? This was our seventh year, our last year at Hogwarts, we were meant to be having fun, sneaking out to Hogsmeade, getting drunk in the common room. We were meant to be being young. And it made me really sad that the boys were missing out on that. Sure, they had their pranks, they had their rebellious sneak out once a month, but really they weren’t doing anything they said they would! Everyone talked about how the marauders final year at school would be epic. Older kids wished that they could have stayed just to see it, and for what? For them to cop out and start seeing that maybe the world wasn’t all about pranks and being silly and hexing Slytherins? It wasn’t like them, it wasn’t like anyone our age, to be honest.
What Lily, Alice, Leigh and I did had been dangerous. I couldn’t, and wouldn’t, deny that, but at the same time, we were only having fun. We just wanted to actually make something of our seventh year… and we couldn’t claim that this wasn’t going to be something we would remember forever! The lectures we were going to get the next day would probably be ingrained in our memories forever as well. Joy.
I arrived back at the heads dorm, the chill of the night still clinging to my body, I needed a shower a pepper up potion and my bed. The door swung open and I saw Lily sitting on the sofa with a box of tissues with a sobbing Leigh and a baffled looking Alice. My sleep and warmth were going to have to wait. Lily looked so conflicted, she obviously couldn’t say anything to Leigh, it wasn’t our place to say anything about Remus being Moony, but Leigh was by no means stupid. She could put this all together now that the clues were all there.
Lily had worked it out years ago, and I had been in on the secret from the start. I don’t think I had ever felt so guilty, poor Remus, it was him who was going to have to suffer because of our rebellious streak. What if Leigh decided to leave him? If she thought that it was too much of a risk to be with a werewolf? It would be her loss, of course it would, but that wouldn’t make it any easier for Remus. It would break him to lose her. It would hurt the whole group for them to break up, and they were so perfect for each other.
The idea of them breaking up was too sad. Maybe it wouldn’t happen though, he was still Remus, perhaps Leigh wasn’t going to look at him any differently. The door closed behind me.
“-and he’s a monster, how could no one tell me! What if he hurt someone!” Leigh was sobbing hysterically and saying things that made me want to go over and slap her. She was drunk, very drunk, but still- how could she ever think that Remus would hurt someone? Didn’t she know him at all? Alice still looked baffled, her eyes were slightly out of focus, she was wasted. We should never have drunk so much; it made me grateful that I had stopped drinking when I did.
Lily frowned at Leighs words. “Leigh, you know Remus, he would never hurt someone, not if he could help it, anyway!” She said, stroking the brunette’s hair. I thought that Lily was being overly nice. If I had been the one she said that too I would have given her a slap and told her to get a grip Remus was a good guy. Well… okay I might not have actually slapped her, but I would have made it very clear that I thought she was being very unreasonable!
I walked over and put an arm around Alice- who was in only her underwear, a towel wrapped loosely around her shoulders, she looked bewildered. “Remus is a werewolf, isn’t he?” She asked me, her voice wasn’t scared, it didn’t tremble, she just needed to know.
“Yeah, he is, Alli,” I said, pulling the towel closer around her, rubbing her arm to warm her up.
Alice closed her eyes and shook her head, she looked hurt, a little betrayed, and more than a little confused. “Kirst- why didn’t anyone ever tell me? I mean- it’s not like I would ever have judged Remus, or told anyone… he knew that right?” It was as though even through all of this, Alice still felt guilty, like she had been giving off some kind of unconscious ‘I hate werewolves’ vibe.
“He knew you wouldn’t have hated him, Alice. I just think that Remus wasn’t ready for anyone to know about him just yet.” I said in a quiet voice.
Alice nodded, clearly still deep in thought. She reached down on to the floor and picked up a dry t-shirt, one of Franks, I think. She seemed to have a never ending supply of Frank’s clothes to sleep in. She slipped it over her head and pulled back her hair into a loose pony tale, using the bobble she always kept on her wrist to tie it back. All the while she was deeply in thought. “I’m going to go to sleep now,” She said, deep in thought, and still drunk, sleep was probably the best thing for her. I watched as she lay down on one of the sofa’s pulling a blanket over herself and closing her eyes.
A few moments later her breathing steadied out and she seemed to be out for the night. I looked across at Lily and Leigh, Lily seemed to be at a loss, I had heard parts of their conversation while I was talking to Alice, Leigh kept changing her mind about how she felt. One minute Remus was a monster, the next it changed nothing, and a few moments after that she was sobbing about how he didn’t trust her.
Basically it was the drunken ramblings of a teenage girl. She needed to go to sleep. And soon, I stood up from my spot in the love seat and walked over, picking up a blanket off the floor as I did so. I cut off Leigh in her sobbing about how things were never going to be the same again. “Leigh, get some sleep, I think that you’ve had enough to deal with tonight. We can talk about all this tomorrow, yeah?”
In reality I just really wanted to talk to Lily by myself, I knew that she would be just as terrified at facing the wrath of James and Sirius the following morning as I was. Lily started whispering to Leigh that I was right and that sleep would probably make her feel better. It wouldn’t. She was going to wake up with a hell of a hangover and more questions that she had ever thought of before, but it was a good line to get her to go to sleep.
About ten minutes later when Leigh was asleep on the sofa Lily walked up to her bedroom, knowing that I would follow her. I knew that she was full of questions about what Sirius had said to me, if I was okay, how mad did I think that James would be? But being one of the ‘sober’ ones Lily had had to restrain herself and look after the drunk wrecks.
Honestly though, we were all wrecks. Tonight had been a really close call, and Alice and Leigh probably wouldn’t realise how close when they woke up the next morning. Lily and I got comfortable on her bed. “How mad are they?” Was the first thing she asked, a few seconds later. There was a heavy silence for a moment.
“Do you remember that time in third year?” I asked, “When Amos Diggory kissed me in the hallway after I said no? How angry Sirius and James got?” I looked at her face, the way all the colour drained from it told me that she remembered that day.
“I remember,” She trembled. “That mad?” She hid behind her long red hair, I felt bad for being the one who had to break this to her.
“Times that by three and you’re close.” I said, fiddling with my hair. “I honestly thought that Sirius was going to slap me earlier.” I told her, exaggerating a bit, I knew that Sirius would never actually hurt me, he had just been so angry.
Lily’s head snapped up at the mention of Sirius, there was a glint in her eye. “Yeah…so Sirius, what was that about?” She asked, eying the t-shirt that I was wearing. I couldn’t help the blush that went to my cheeks.
“Well… he kissed me.” I told her, the smile on my face wasn’t something that I could stop, or something that I wanted to stop, really. Sirius Black had kissed me, for the first time in months. And it felt just as right as it did the first time he kissed me in the bathroom. It was as though nothing had changed, well except for the fact that Sirius was livid with me; something that I could live with if he was kissing me like that.
Lily squealed and launched herself across at me in something that I think was meant to pass as a hug. “I’m so happy for you, Kirsty!”
“Me too,” I smiled, hugging her back. “But to be honest, I don’t think that romance is going to be on James or Sirius’ mind tomorrow,” I told her. I was honestly nervous. I didn’t like people being mad at me. The boys were livid, but at the same time, they weren’t our parents. They weren’t in a position of authority over us.
“Whatever,” Lily said, putting on her brave face. “No one was hurt, they can’t be mad. We’re all fine, other than some bad hangovers tomorrow this will all be forgotten.” She ran a hand through her hair, she was stressed. She only ever ran her hands through her hair when she was stressed, any other time she claimed it made your hair greasy.
I nodded. “Yeah,” I tried to reassure myself. “They’ll have calmed down by tomorrow morning, right? I mean, so we did something stupid, but we’ll apologise and then we can all go get some yummy breakfast.” I said, nodding my head, Lily nodded as well. We were deluded, but it would help us get some sleep that night. I stood up a stretched. “I need to shower,” I said, “I feel all icky.”
Lily tossed me a towel. “Go for it,” She yawned. “I’m just gonna shower in the morning, I need to sleep.” She did look exhausted.
“Cool, see you in the morning,” I smiled at her before creeping into her and James’ joint bathroom and turning the shower on. I stepped into the piping hot water and washed all of the lake water and grime off of myself. I winced as the hot water ran over the cuts on my legs, the stinging feeling making my want to hop right out of the shower.
After a long half hour I stepped out of the shower and wrapped myself in the fluffy towel. I grabbed my wand off of the bathroom surface and dried my hair, it fell in fluffy waves. I felt wonderfully clean. After I dried off I put on more clothes, and the t-shirt that Sirius had given me before heading back down to Lily’s room. I climbed into the four poster bed with her, and settled down for the night.
Little did I know that I would be settling down for about three hours sleep. It was only a few short hours later that Lily and I were rudely awakened by James and Sirius slamming open the door to Lily’s room. Lily jumped up, practically screaming from the fright she got. I just rolled over and covered my head with a pillow. James had done this to me before. It was terrible. Usually there was yelling, and tugged away covers.
I groaned and looked up to see two very tired and very angry looking males. This was going to be fun.
A/N - I know, I know, I'm the worst author ever, I hardly ever post and when I do I leave you on horrible cliff hangers and boring chapters! But please review and let me know what you think! I'll try to update soon! - Kirsty xxx