A/N: So sorry it has taken so long to update, I have been ill lately :( anyway so chapter 10 is finally here and I hope you enjoy it xx
So here is the leader board of metaphorical mars bars because I said if you reviewed you get a metaphorical mars bar!!
1. Harry and Ginny with 6 metaphorical mars bars
2. LittleWelshGirl99 with 4 metaphorical mars bars
3. Jenny with 3 metaphorical mars bars
4. Melanie with 2 metaphorical mars bars
4. Failed_and_forgotten with 2 metaphorical mars bars
5. Sapphire, Hannah, Niclovegood, Kt Slewin, the_cauliflower_in_neverland and countrymusicfanatic all with one metaphorical mars bar each !!
DISCLAIMER: Unfortunately I own absolutely nothing :(
The Christmas holidays inevitably continued, if it hadn't I would be a bit worried and I would have to find Doctor Who and ask him to put it right again.
Anyway, as New Year was approaching and I had the house to myself the most astonishingly obvious idea came to me and I decided to host a New Year’s party- how imaginative.
Fred had agreed to supply the party with drinks and act as the 'DJ' for me which made it all a lot easier. Where Fred was planning on getting all the alcohol I had no idea but oh well. Fred was famous for throwing the best parties that Hogwarts had even seen so I hoped that with his help my party would at least be respectable.
The party was going to be for 5th and 6th years at Hogwarts - and a few extras so basically Lily, Hugo, Roxanne, Lorcan and Lysander.
A couple of days before the party Al, Scorpius and Ava all arrived bearing Christmas gifts and to find out how the party planning was going. Apparently Amie and Evie would have come but they were visiting family and Rose was 'busy' apparently.
Evie, Amie, Ava and Rose (supposedly) had bought me a large amount of all my favourite make-up and a glow in the dark rubber duck (don't even ask)
I gasped as I opened the present and then enveloped a disapproving Ava as she was the only one out of the four currently present.
Audrey, Percy, Molly and Lucy gave me a fancy quill with a few pots of this amazing colour changing glittery ink.
The Potters gave me really nice notebook with my name embossed on the back cover. From Fred, Roxanne and their parents, I was given a voucher for 'Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes' their family joke shop. Rose and Hugo's parents gave me a really interesting book about thestrals which I have already read cover to cover just since I have been given it (approximately two hours ago)
Al and Scorpius got me my favourite chocolate, fizzing whizbees. Mmm yum, you’ve gotta love fizzing whizbees.
I was just about to open the final present that they gave me (a small box wrapped in gold) but Al told me that for some reason James said to open it after they had left.
Naturally I obliged.
Inside the box was a beautiful silver bracelet with four charms that spelt out 'Snow' I recognised it immediately as a 'Pandora' bracelet. It was beautiful and I was glad now that I hadn't opened it in front of the others though I didn't exactly know why. I was shocked at how much he must have spent on me.
The final present which had arrived with the family owl only a few minutes previously was from Mum.
She had bought me two beautiful charms for my new bracelet. One duck and a musical note. It was clear that James had thought this present through so much as to tell my Mum and then co-ordinate their gifts...and to think I thought boys were useless.
I spent that afternoon writing various thank you letters to everyone for my presents.
The next day was spent dress shopping. I chose to look in muggle London as there was not a single shop in Diagon Alley where you would be able to buy a dress that fell into the category of short and tight. In the end after many hours of looking I found a tight royal blue dress that had minimal back coverage apart from to cover your bra strap. I also found some black suede gladiator wedges to wear with my new dress.
In preparation for the party that evening, I spent the night moving everything even remotely breakable into my mum’s room and then used a spell I found to lock all the doors to the rooms, except for the bathrooms. It was impossible to make your house completely party proof but I could at least try.
At about 4pm Fred arrived and we made a last minute trip to the supermarket to buy all the muggle alcoholic drinks and about 200 plastic cups. We also bought some crisps because I realised I had nothing for anyone to eat. Not that people really ate much at parties, they just drank a LOT.
At about 8:30pm everyone began to arrive and the huge speakers blared out the music as we all danced and attempted to sing along. Of course this was all pointless because none of us could sing at all. Or at least none of us can sing when we were drunk.
As the volume of the music seemed to be continuing to get louder, Amie continued to get more and more worried about the neighbours complaining until I explained that I had used a sound proofing spell on the house, this seemed to impress her at least a little bit.
Fred was yet again snogging the face off of ‘KT’ Slewyn and Evie was snogging Al…wait, WHAT?
“What the fuck” I yelled out so loud that it caught everyone’s attention. Evie pulled away from Al and turned to face me. Seeing two of your best friends snogging is just weird.
“Are you alright Evie? Have you had a bit too much to drink? You do know that you were snogging Al right?”
“I suppose…I forgot to tell you…” there was a very pregnant pause, “me and Al are together”
“What, what do you mean you just FORGOT to tell me!” I started yelling without even realising.
“We told everyone at Christmas…” She continued but I interrupted her yet again
“OH AND I SUPPOSE EVERYONE JUST DOESN’T INCLUDE ME ANYMORE. WHAT HAPPENED TO ‘WE’RE BEST FRIENDS WE TELL EACHOTHER EVERYTHING’ OR IT THAT JUST A LOAD OF SHIT TO YOU?”
“Esmie, no it’s not like that”
“AM I NOT TRUST WORTHY ENOUGH TO TELL THEN?”
“Esmie you don’t understand!”
“NO, you’re right I don’t understand. I don’t understand why you haven’t told me and I don’t understand why you are acting like such a bitch!”
I could feel my blood boiling through my veins my temper rising, the tensions rising.
“That was uncalled for” growled Al. Oh that’s right just take your girlfriends side I though.
Evie stepped forward and with an almighty crack she slapped me. I lunged forward to retaliate but someone restrained me behind. I wrenched myself out of Amie’s arms probably hurting them in the process but I was so angry that right now I really didn’t care at all.
“Esmie calm down” Amie whispered to me.
“NO!” I yelled “DON’T YOU DARE TELL ME WHAT TO DO, YOU KNEW DIDN’T YOU!?”
I was fast losing the little self-control that I had left. One small thing could easily send me over the edge.
“She’s probably PMSing” I heard someone whisper to her friend. I whipped round grabbed the girl and pinned her against the wall.
“DO YOU WANT TO SAY THAT AGAIN!?” I yelled in her face which was now streaked with tears. Then I realised that the girl was a terrified looking Lily Potter. I let go immediately and stood back appalled at what I had done. James stared at me in what seemed to be a mixture of disgust and disbelief before pulling Lily into a hug.
It had become apparent that the party was over. As everyone left I could hear them whispering things like ‘out of order’ and ‘what’s wrong with her?’ but the thing that hurt most of all was James. He was last to leave and as he did all he said was ‘I can’t believe it, I really can’t’ and then he left.
‘James, WAIT’ I shouted desperately after him, ‘shit, WAIT’ I yelled again even though the door had already slammed shut behind him.
I looked up at the clock and counted down the last few seconds of 2021. It couldn’t have been a worse start to the New Year.
I had completely lost control of myself and I felt so crap now. I just hoped that the others would realise how drunk I was. Not that it was any kind if excuse for what had happened and how I had reacted. I just kept seeing Lily’s scared face as I pinned her against the wall and James’ disgusted face as he left.
I stumbled upstairs and went to open the door of my room. I had forgotten about the locking spell I had used and I couldn’t remember the removal spell. I kicked my shoes off and curled up in the corner of the corridor trying to tell myself it was another dream and anytime soon I was going to wake up on the common room floor with James asking whether I was okay.
When I woke up the next morning however I was greeted with the reality that it wasn’t a dream.
I also had an excruciatingly bad headache which I guessed might not just be because of the alcohol, even the potion couldn’t completely get rid of it. Though I suppose after everything that had happened I had deserved it.
After much deliberation, I found a quill and a couple pieces of parchment to write some apology letters.
I’m so sorry; I don’t know why it happened at all. I didn’t mean to hurt Lily I really didn’t. If I could take it back I would. I was stupid and I know it. Please try and understand how sorry I am. Is Lily okay? I never meant for anything like this to happen. I just felt so betrayed by Evie because she forgot to tell me and I suppose I was still upset about what happened on Christmas Eve. James I am so sorry, could you ever forgive me?
I quickly folded up and sealed the letter before starting on another.
I, I don’t know what to say. I really don’t…
I began to write before giving up. However bad I felt about everything that had happened the fact still remained that she had betrayed me. She didn’t even think it was important enough to remember to tell me. What even happened to trust and telling each other everything?
It was obvious that Al and Evie had announced it at Christmas because no one else seemed surprised but what with the whole Christmas Eve runaway situation, I hadn’t found out. I just felt so crap because she hadn’t even thought to tell me.
For fucks sake, why is everything so mucked up at the moment?
I’m sorry I shouted at you, I really am. I never meant any of it to happen but it has and I can’t change that now. There is not much I can say and I know what, I am just so sorry Amie,
I have never felt so bad in my life as when I realised what I had done. Lily you have to believe me when I say that I wasn’t thinking right. I can’t say how sorry I am and how bad I feel. It was such a huge mistake. I don’t know how I will ever be able to make it up to you but believe me when I say, I will try everything…
I read and re-read all of the letters over and over again until I was finally happy-ish with them and I sent them off with the family owl.
Within minutes an owl arrived and I recognised it as James’ I grabbed the letter and opened it frantically.
STAY AWAY FROM ME AND MY FAMILY
That was all it said. It was short but it took me a while to read because my hand was shaking so much. It’s funny how a few words can make you feel so worthless and shit.
All I could do was whisper ‘No’ over and over again. After about two hours I had stopped my throat had gone dry and I still just sat staring at the note where it sat on the floor. Aristotle crept up and snuggled next to me and fell asleep against my leg. I wish I was a cat, Stottle is so carefree. All he has to think about is where he is going to sleep and when he is going to eat.
Life sucks. It really sucks.
‘Fuck you life!’ I yelled surprising myself and successfully waking and scaring away Stottle. After this I shuffled around and just hit my head repeatedly against the wall.
This however did absolutely nothing other than make my headache worse. All I could think about was how much I needed to sort it all out but it wouldn’t be possible school started tomorrow and I knew for a fact that everyone already had plans today. When I remembered this I thought of the trunk I still needed to pack and the house I needed to tidy.
I supposed I had better start sooner than later. Tidying was easy enough all I had to do was use a vanishing spell. Then I had to unlock all the rooms in the house, it took me twenty minutes to remember the spell and by the time I had, I was extremely frustrated.
I panicked as I ran along the platform running late as usual. No one had been at home so I had had to find what little muggle money I had and call a taxi. Now I was just hoping that I would get on the train in time. When I did eventually reach the Hogwarts Express the struggle was not over. Because the others were not talking to me, I had no one to help me lug my trunk onto the train and alone it took a good 10 minutes.
I looked around desperately for an empty carriage and plonked myself down. I then got out my phone and head phones so that I could listen to music.
I looked up and saw all my friends walking past looking for a carriage, I waved, they saw me, and they carried on walking. It was like a slap in the face, only more painful. I had been rejected by the people I could once depend on, by the people that I trusted most.
It was clear; all that had happened had caused the end of our blissful friendship I was going to have to cope on my own.
Bad decisions however small can have lasting consequences I told myself.
I decided that if my bad decision had brought me here because I was a slut, and now I had no friends I may as well embrace the decision and try to move on however hard it may seem.
A/N: So there we go, Esmie is now friendless :( but for how long do you think?
What did you think about the note James wrote?
I know you must hate me for it, but it had to be done to follow the plot line. Sorry
Any way I hoped you liked it, please tell me what you thought below
DISCAIMER: I own nothing :( nothing at all