A/N: So sorry it has taken so long to update, I have been ill lately :( anyway so chapter 10 is finally here and I hope you enjoy it xx
DISCLAIMER: Unfortunately I own absolutely nothing :(
The Christmas Holidays continued with a stony silence from everyone else. The gloom had settled heavy on my shoulders and I didn’t know how I was going to sort this out.
After not hearing from anyone at all for the last few days I had begun to get worried, did they really all hate me just because of what was happening between Rose and I? The thoughts were pushed from my mind however when they all came to visit me at about midday three days before new year’s eve.
They came along with Christmas presents that I hadn’t been there to receive. Scorpius, Ava, Evie, Saffie and Al had all come. Everyone except for Rose who was apparently busy. I didn’t really expect her to come but I thought that we might be able to be civil with each other.
Scorpius and Al presented me with a present supposedly ‘wrapped’ in gold and silver. I opened it to reveal a large bag of fizzing whizbees, I grinned at the sight of my favourite chocolates and thanked the two of them. After that Saffie, Evie and Ava gave me their present which turned out to be some of my favourite make-up, more chocolate and for some reason a glow in the dark rubber duck. I didn’t even question them on the duck by now I already knew that my friends were raving mad. The whole Potter/Weasley family had bought me a leather bound notebook with a fancy eagles quill and a variety of coloured inks. I grinned, it was perfect. The last present remaining was a small square thing wrapped perfectly in paper which had tiny moving snowflakes on it. I began to unwrap it before I was stopped.
“Uhh, James wants you to wait and open it later. He says he’ll be here at about 4.” Al explained though he didn’t seem to know why any more than I did. We stayed sat on my sofa for a while chatting and we ended up deciding that seeing as I had an empty house and I had missed Christmas, that I would host a new year’s party just to be completely unoriginal.
I spent the whole afternoon trying not to be tempted to open the small present which sat on the coffee table, I was almost counting down the minutes until James would arrive and I would finally get to discover what it held within.
The was a brisk knock and I almost sprinted to answer the door which when opened revealed a snow covered James. I grinned and let him in offering him a hot drink as I did so. Once we both had coffees and were sat on the sofa he took the box from the table and offered it to me.
“Are you going to open it then?” he asked grinning at me the whole while. I took it and began to unwrap it as delicately as I could. I didn’t want to rip the beautiful wrapping paper. When I opened the box it revealed a beautiful bracelet adorned with multiple charms. One a snowflake, another a tiny little thestral and the third; a small disc engraved with the words ‘dear Snow merry Christmas love James’ in a swirly font.
“It’s white gold,” James said.
“It’s beautiful!” I breathed, he held it out and fastened it around my right wrist where it sat shining in the light. I pulled him into a tight hug.
“I thought you’d like it,” he mumbled. Before he left I told him about the party, he assured me that he would come and waved before he disappeared around the corner.
I spent the following few days frantically preparing for the party, I had recruited Fred as co-party organiser and he had also agreed to sort out all of the music for which I was very thankful. Without Fred’s help everything would have fallen to pieces after the first day. Two days before the party Fred turned up with an extortionate amount of alcohol both muggle and wizard, where he had gotten all of it I had no idea. Fred had always been famed for throwing the best parties at Hogwarts and I hoped that because of his help my party might have a chance of at least being respectable.
Apart from anything I hoped that at some point I might be able to confront Rose. Something needed to be done and despite my belief that she had been out of line I had decided that I didn’t want to lose Rose. She had always been one of my best friends and I wasn’t about to lose her without at least trying to sort things out, hopefully she would realise how stupid the whole thing was and we could both forget about it. Despite the prospect of possibly sorting things out with Rose, I still had not addressed any of my problems with my brother. I hadn’t spoken to him since he had called me a slut and he was still not talking to James. It was horrible because it had only been one kiss and suddenly he had cast aside James. For the first week afterwards there had been many shouting matches between them and rumours of a promise between the two that neither would ever become romantically involved with the others family. It all seemed a bit stupid and Charlie was simply acting like a ten year old.
I had decided to make the party for 5th and 6th years and a few extras which included Lily, Hugo, Roxanne, Lorcan and Lysander though all of the older Weasley’s had set curfews so that they couldn’t stay for too long.
I spent the final day before the party shopping for an outfit, I chose to look in muggle London due to the larger selection and the fact that the wizard world was trying to bring robes back into fashion. I almost felt sorry for anyone who actually believed that they were in any way flattering. In the end after what seemed like hours I found a tight electric blue dress that hugged my every curve as well as some black suede gladiator wedge heels. I wasn’t being conservative, despite my every effort to hide it I was still upset over the events of Christmas and was keen to get drunk enough to forget it even if the ignorance would be only limited.
In preparation for the party that evening, I spent the night moving everything even remotely breakable into my mum’s room and then used a spell I found to lock all the doors to the rooms, except for the bathrooms. It was impossible to make your house completely party proof but I could at least try.
At about 4pm Fred arrived and we made a last minute trip to the supermarket to buy all the muggle alcoholic drinks and about 200 plastic cups. We also bought some crisps because I realised I had nothing for anyone to eat. Not that people really ate much at parties, they just drank a lot.
At about 8:30pm everyone began to arrive and the huge speakers blared out the music as we all danced and attempted to sing along. Of course this was all pointless because none of us could sing at all. Or at least none of us can sing when we were drunk. As the volume of the music seemed to be continuing to get louder, Saffie continued to get more and more worried about the neighbours complaining until I explained that I had used a sound proofing spell on the house, this seemed to impress her at least a little bit.
I looked around to check that everyone was having a good time and saw that Fred was yet again snogging the strange Ravenclaw Katie Slewyn and Evie was snogging someone on one of the sofas. I grinned, ready to tease her about it later until I realised who it was. His messy black hair was an immediate give away, she was snogging Al, my jaw dropped and for a moment I just stood there in shock until my brain caught up and reacted the only way it could when I was in such a drunken state.
“What the fuck” I yelled out so loud that it caught everyone’s attention. Evie pulled away from Al and turned to face me. Seeing two of your best friends snogging is just weird.
“Are you alright Evie? Have you had a bit too much to drink? You do know that you were snogging Al right?” I asked incredulously, I was looking forward to her explaining her way out of this one. She shifted from foot to foot as she stuttered trying to explain.
“I suppose…I forgot to tell you…” there was a very pregnant pause, “me and Al are together” I stumbled backwards in surprise, what did she mean? We were best friends and she hadn’t told me…hell, I didn’t even know she liked the guy. Since when did we stop telling each other everything? I forced the bewildered look off of my face and did what I do best…yelled.
“What, what do you mean you just FORGOT to tell me!” I started yelling without even realising.
“We told everyone at Christmas…” She continued but I interrupted her yet again, I could see her trying to process everything that was happening, trying to explain herself but she was only making it worse.
“OH AND I SUPPOSE EVERYONE JUST DOESN’T INCLUDE ME ANYMORE. WHAT HAPPENED TO ‘WE’RE BEST FRIENDS WE TELL EACHOTHER EVERYTHING’ OR IT THAT JUST A LOAD OF SHIT TO YOU?” I had completely lost it and everyone was now watching us as I continued to yell.
“Fliss, no it’s not like that”
“AM I NOT TRUST WORTHY ENOUGH TO TELL THEN?”
“Fliss you don’t understand!”
“NO, you’re right I don’t understand. I don’t understand why you haven’t told me and I don’t understand why you are acting like such a bitch!” I could feel my blood boiling through my veins my temper rising, the tensions rising.
“That was uncalled for” growled Al. Oh that’s right just take your girlfriends side I thought.
Evie stepped forward and with an almighty crack she slapped me. I lunged forward to retaliate but someone restrained me behind. I wrenched myself out of Saffie’s arms probably hurting them in the process but I was so angry that right now I really didn’t care at all.
“Fliss calm down” Amie whispered to me.
“NO!” I yelled “DON’T YOU DARE TELL ME WHAT TO DO, YOU KNEW DIDN’T YOU!?”
I was fast losing the little self-control that I had left. One small thing could easily send me over the edge.
“She’s probably PMSing” I heard someone whisper to her friend. I whipped round grabbed the girl and pinned her against the wall.
“DO YOU WANT TO SAY THAT AGAIN!?” I yelled in her face which was now streaked with tears. Then I realised that the girl was a terrified looking Lily Potter. I let go immediately and stood back appalled at what I had done? James stared at me in what seemed to be a mixture of disgust and disbelief before pulling Lily into a hug.
It had become apparent that the party was over. As everyone left I could hear them whispering things like ‘out of order’ and ‘what’s wrong with her?’ but the thing that hurt most of all was James. He was last to leave and as he did all he said was ‘I can’t believe it, I really can’t’ and then he left.
‘James, WAIT’ I shouted desperately after him, ‘shit, WAIT’ I yelled again even though the door had already slammed shut behind him.
I looked up at the clock and counted down the last few seconds of 2021. It couldn’t have been a worse start to the New Year.
I had completely lost control of myself and I felt so crap now. I just hoped that the others would realise how drunk I was. Not that it was any kind if excuse for what had happened and how I had reacted. I just kept seeing Lily’s scared face as I pinned her against the wall and James’ disgusted face as he left.
I stumbled upstairs and went to open the door of my room. I had forgotten about the locking spell I had used and I couldn’t remember the removal spell. I kicked my shoes off and curled up in the corner of the corridor trying to tell myself it was another dream and anytime soon I was going to wake up on the common room floor with James asking whether I was okay.
I awoke the next morning, aching everywhere. Sleeping on the floor hadn’t exactly helped and my head was pounding from the excessive alcohol intake of the previous night. After a few minutes I stood up mainly to find myself a potion to sort out my head but even after taking it, my headache wasn’t totally gone. Everything that had happened the previous night was my fault, I knew that, I just had to try and sort it out. If there was any chance of them ever forgiving me, no matter how much grovelling it would take, I would take it. They were all my best friends and I knew I couldn’t cope without them.
After much deliberation, I found a quill and a couple pieces of parchment to write some apology letters.
I’m so sorry; I don’t know why it happened at all. I didn’t mean to hurt Lily I really didn’t. If I could take it back I would. I was stupid and I know it. Please try and understand how sorry I am. Is Lily okay? I never meant for anything like this to happen. I just felt so betrayed by Evie because she forgot to tell me and I suppose I was still upset about what happened on Christmas Eve. James I am so sorry, could you ever forgive me?
I quickly folded up and sealed the letter before starting on another.
I, I don’t know what to say. I really don’t…
I began to write before giving up. However bad I felt about everything that had happened the fact still remained that she had betrayed me. She didn’t even think it was important enough to remember to tell me. What even happened to trust and telling each other everything?
It was obvious that Al and Evie had announced it at Christmas because no one else seemed surprised but what with the whole Christmas Eve runaway situation, I hadn’t found out. I just felt so crap because she hadn’t even thought to tell me.
For fucks sake, why is everything so mucked up at the moment?
I’m sorry I shouted at you, I really am. I never meant any of it to happen but it has and I can’t change that now. There is not much I can say and I know what, I am just so sorry Saffie,
I have never felt so bad in my life as when I realised what I had done. Lily you have to believe me when I say that I wasn’t thinking right. I can’t say how sorry I am and how bad I feel. It was such a huge mistake. I don’t know how I will ever be able to make it up to you but believe me when I say, I will try everything…
I read and re-read all of the letters over and over again until I was finally happy-ish with them and I sent them off with the family owl.
Within minutes an owl arrived and I recognised it as James’ I grabbed the letter and opened it frantically.
I can’t believe you would even try and justify yourself, you disgust me. Don’t bother ever talking to me again.
That was all it said. It was short but it took me a while to read because my hand was shaking so much. It’s funny how a few words can make you feel so worthless and shit.
All I could do was whisper ‘No’ over and over again. After about two hours I had stopped my throat had gone dry and I still just sat staring at the note where it sat on the floor. Aristotle crept up and snuggled next to me and fell asleep against my leg. I wish I was a cat, Stottle is so carefree. All he has to think about is where he is going to sleep and when he is going to eat.
Life sucks. It really sucks.
‘Fuck you life!’ I yelled surprising myself and successfully waking and scaring away Stottle. After this I shuffled around and just hit my head repeatedly against the wall.
This however did absolutely nothing other than make my headache worse. All I could think about was how much I needed to sort it all out but it wouldn’t be possible school started tomorrow and I knew for a fact that everyone already had plans today. When I remembered this I thought of the trunk I still needed to pack and the house I needed to tidy.
I supposed I had better start sooner than later. Tidying was easy enough all I had to do was use a vanishing spell. Then I had to unlock all the rooms in the house, it took me twenty minutes to remember the spell and by the time I had, I was extremely frustrated.
I panicked as I ran along the platform running late as usual. No one had been at home so I had had to find what little muggle money I had and call a taxi. Now I was just hoping that I would get on the train in time. When I did eventually reach the Hogwarts Express the struggle was not over. Because the others were not talking to me, I had no one to help me lug my trunk onto the train and alone it took a good 10 minutes. I looked around at all the parents saying goodbye to their children and sighed heavily.
As I walked along the train searching for an empty compartment I noticed them, all of them. All my friends, laughing and joking as though nothing had happened at all. I felt a twinge in my stomach and dived into the nearest carriage to my right before they could see me. I watched as they walked past, each one of them seeing me and each one of them ignoring me. It was like a slap in the face, I had been rejected by the people that I once depended on, by the people that I trusted the most. It was clear; all that had happened had caused the end of our blissful friendship I was going to have to cope on my own. Bad decisions however small can have lasting consequences I told myself. I decided that if my bad decision had brought me here because I was a slut, and now I had no friends I may as well embrace the decision and try to move on however hard it may seem.
“Friend troubles?” asked a voice nearby, I looked round so fast that I almost cricked my neck, the compartment wasn’t as empty as I had first thought. There in the corner sat KT Slewyn her curly black hair framing her pale face which was attempting to smile.
“Oh…uhmm. Well you were at the party so I guess you know,” I mumbled.
“Oh well yeah but I’m all for the misunderstood getting their say, I mean after all people still think I want to spell my name with just a K and T and stupid first year mistake that still haunts me even now,” she chuckled slightly and even I let a small smile creep onto my face. As I remained silent she continued, “so they still haven’t forgiven you? It’s a bit stupid if you ask me, you were piss drunk…I’m surprised that you could even stand up still to be honest seeing as you’ve never exactly been a heavy drinker before that party,”
“Yeah well, apparently even apologising doesn’t do anything to help anymore,” I muttered bitterly. Katy grinned, “What about you then? Where’s April?”
“She’s too busy with her boyfriend,” explained Katy her voice filled with disgust, “ As soon as there is a new guy on the scene, which there is every other week, I’m put away to play with later. It just pissing me off now to be honest,”
The two of us spent the rest of the train journey chatting, not about anything in particular but it was at least comforting to know that I wasn’t as completely isolated as I had at first thought.
A/N: So there we go, Fliss is now friendless :( but for how long do you think?
What did you think about the note James wrote?
I know you must hate me for it, but it had to be done to follow the plot line. Sorry
Any way I hoped you liked it, please tell me what you thought below
DISCAIMER: I own nothing :( nothing at all
EDITED 5/02/14: I’m so sorry that this has taken so long but everything has become a bit crazy lately and procrastination has played a huge part but it is here at last so what did you think?