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No Awkwardness by CharliesRose
Chapter 36 : A Sad Song
 
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 1


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Today I’m going to write a sad song,

And I’m gonna make it really long,

So everyone can see,

That I’m very unhappy.

 

Walk Charla, I commanded, keep walking now, don’t you dare look back, don’t look behind you, keep going. You have a ticket. You have a job. Don’t turn around.

~ ~ ~

I knew if I did look back, I would never leave. Now, I wish I did. I wish I’d never left my friends, my family, my sister. My James.

The job I’d got hadn’t even been worth it. Scotland was cold, my house was small and it didn’t have that homey feel to it. I was lost and all alone.

I sat at my desk, head in my hands, staring down at the blank piece of paper.

An apology. That was what I wanted to appear, an apology for me to just tie to the leg of my little owl and send off. It’s what I needed to do. But every time my pen poised on the paper, so many words flowed out and crammed into such a little space. Would James even want to read something so long?

Just as I was about to start writing again, there was a knock on the door downstairs.

‘Oh bloody hell!’ I cursed loudly, slamming my fist against the wall. Breaking the bones again. I’d got pretty good at healing spells over the past month.

‘Can I help you?’ I opened the door, flexing my newly fixed fingers. There was a young man outside, he was holding a baby dragon, it was belching dark smoke into his face and he looked disgusted. ‘Ah,’ I smiled grimly, reaching out for the dragon. ‘Is she yours?’ I asked. Immediately recognising the gender of the dragon from the colouring.

‘Nope, I found her in my garden, she nearly ate my niece.’ The guy chuckled. He was probably around twenty. He was quite good looking, dusty blonde hair and green eyes. But James’s face swam into mind over his.

‘I’m Flynn.’ He had an America accent, he definitely didn’t belong in Scotland.

‘Charla,’ I stuck out a hand, balancing the dragon in one arm.

‘Nice to meet you,’ he grinned, ‘so you gonna be able to help that.’

‘She’ll be fine, I better see to her soon,’ I almost shut the door on him before adding, ‘you can come and see her tomorrow if you’re worried.’

Nothing ever happened between me and Flynn, he went back home to America, and I wasn’t sorry to see the back of his. He was a pain in the arse really.

 

I wished I wasn’t always wrong,

I wish it wasn’t always my fault,

The finger that your pointing, has knocked me on my knees

And all you need to know is...

 

‘Good morning Charla,’ my boss greeted me from across the Dragon park. The Boss, (which was all we ever called him) was quite a nice bloke, he was like Charlie Weasley, same build and everything. Minus the red hair.

‘Hey Boss,’ I called back, picking up a newspaper as I pulled cast a fireproof charm over myself. I could feel my face pale.

‘Oh crap, did Angel not get rid of that.’ Boss appeared at my side, trying to take the newspaper away. Of course Angel didn’t get rid of it, Angel didn’t like me very much.

On the front cover there was a picture of James, he looked sullen and irritated. I read the article, avoiding Boss’s grabbing hands.

‘She was the worst thing that happened to me,’ Says Quidditch star James Potter on ex-girlfriend Charla Wood. ‘She never appreciated what she got and she was a terrible friend, in the end.’

I wanted to stop reading, but my eyes were glued to the page.

Weasley cousin Dominique entitled, Bitch of the Century by Potter himself.

‘Enough Wood,’ Boss set fire to the paper, though the flames couldn’t burn my hands though, because of the charm I’d placed on myself. ‘That was a piece of Skeeters work, don’t believe the crap she writes.’

I felt like someone had thrown me against a wall. Shocked and breathless.

 

I’m so sorry, it’s not like me,

It’s maturity that I’m lacking,

So don’t let me go, just let me know,

That growing up goes slow.

 

I took up the paper and pen in my hand and began to write again.

I’m sorry, I scribbled, I made a huge mistake, I can’t believe I did that... I repeated the same things over and over again. I almost thought I had enough confidence this time to send it, but I reached my owl and decided against it. Setting the sheet of paper aflame.

If Dom was here, she’d convince me that it wasn’t my fault. That James should have chased me, he should have followed. But didn’t I make it quite clear I didn’t want to be followed.

I have to leave James, I had said, you can’t stop me this time.

The look on his face as I uttered those words. It was his nightmare, I knew it was. I’d promise that I would move in with him, no matter what. I had lost that chance now. Sometimes I wondered if he really did hate me for leaving. I wouldn’t blame him. I hated me for leaving.

All I really wanted was to be back in his arms with him whispering to me that it would all be ok. That Fairytales did exist and we had our own personal one.

I hadn’t learnt that I needed him back then. And in time, I was full of regret.

 

I wonder what my mum and dad would say,

If I told them that I cried each day,

And it’s hard enough to live so far away.

 

‘Yes mum,’ I chided sweetly, ‘it’s lovely here, I really love it.’ Lies.

My head was dancing around her fireplace via the floor network, I just dropped in to chat. ‘I know sweetie, I’m glad you like it, but you remember you’ve been away two years, you should come and visit.’ She replied, concerned.

Mum had moved back to England to be closer to Rory. I never saw Rory when I called like this, I guess she didn’t really want to see me.

‘I know Mum, but I’m really busy this month,’ I lied smoothly. I just couldn’t face everyone back home. I wouldn’t come back, and I loved the working with the dragons. It was all I ever wanted to do from as soon as I met Ella, James’s uncle Charlie’s Dragon. It was my only source of income too.

My parents would hate to hear that I had spent the best part of the past week in tears. My only friend here, a girl of the same age as me named Libby, was visiting her friends in Wales. I was by myself.

 

I wish I wasn’t always cold,

I wish I wasn’t always alone,

When the party’s over how will I get home,

And all you need to know is...

 

‘Charla,’ Libby cried, kissing my cheek, ‘I thought you couldn’t come.’

I hadn’t planned on coming to the party Libby’s boyfriend was throwing, I barely knew anyone, and, while I had been a party person back at Hogwarts, I preferred to spend my evenings at home these days.

‘Well I’m here,’ I hugged my friend back and nodded to her mates that were standing beside her. Was it so bad of me to already be wishing for the end of the party.

‘Well have fun this evening Char,’ Libby grinned, blowing brunette hair out of her face, ‘there are loads of cute boys around.’ She winked at turned to her boyfriend and I turned to wander the room.

It was cold here, in the living room of Libby’s boyfriends house; I pulled the Quidditch hoodie I was wearing closer around me. Behind me, several girls snickered, and one tapped me on my shoulder.

‘Didn’t you see what Potter wrote in the paper the other month, he’s so over you!’ she laughed.

‘So?’ I said dully.

‘So why are you wearing his jumper?’

Mortified, I looked down and sure enough his number, six, was written in gold over the red, rather than my five.

I wasn’t going to let these girls have the satisfaction of my embarrassment.

‘It’s comfortable, Potter can say anything he likes about me but he’s not getting his hoodie back!’ I promised. Then I left. Apparating home.

 

I’m so sorry, it’s not like me,

It’s maturity that I’m lacking,

So don’t let me go, just let me know,

That growing up goes slow.

 

‘Hey you,’ I picked up the little dragon that Flynn had given me so long ago. She was still quite small. I had found that she and Ella had the same disease, neither could breathe fire and neither could grow more than the size of a Muggle Microwave.

I couldn’t let her go when I knew that if she had a link to Ella she had a link to James. And so I named her Ellie.

Ellie snapped playfully at my fingers, she’d never bitten me before, but I was always careful handling her, just in case.

I put Ellie on the counter as I began to wash dishes the Muggle way. It took up more of my time, made everything a little less painful knowing I had something to do. ‘Ellie don’t do that!’ I commanded as she started chewing my mail. ‘Did you know, Ellie, that tomorrow, I will have been in Scotland for three years?’ Ellie looked at me blankly, of course, she had no idea what I was saying. ‘And my sister graduated two weeks ago and I didn’t even call...’

Ellie cocked her head to one side and growled meekly. ‘Yeah Ellie,’ I rubbed her head affectionately, ‘I love you.’ I whispered.

 

If all the rules were meant to bend, And you swore you were my friend,

Now I have to start all over again, cause no one’s going to take your place,

And I’m scared we’ll never save all the pieces

Of love we made.

 

That night, I lay in my bed and listened to Ellie chewing the bars of her cot. I was crying again, of course. I remembered a moment so long ago, just before I had started at Hogwarts. I had asked James if we would always be friends, he promised we would. He swore that nothing, big or small would ever come between us. Even if I was a Slytherin, which in those days was the ultimate sin.

I cried not because I missed James though, but because I knew I would never have anything like the relationship I had with James, ever again. It was one of a kind, and one-of-a-kind things don’t tend to repeat themselves. I couldn’t save all the pieces of our friendship when they were scattered on the floor.

Or could I?

‘Ellie,’ I whispered, getting up and wiping my tears. The sun had set hours ago, it was probably around midnight. I pulled a jumper over my head. It was James’s Quidditch Hoodie, again. Since the night of the party, it seemed to be all I ever wore.

I was in walking distance of the Dragon Park, so I hurried over, Ellie wrapped in a blanket under my arm, squirming desperately.

‘Boss,’ I knocked on the door to his office. Boss was strange, he never really left his office, he was there almost any time of the night, and arrived there in the morning before any of the other employees.

‘Charla?’ he opened the door, looking a bit surprised at my attire. ‘What can I do for you?’

 

I’m so sorry, it’s not like me,

It’s maturity that I’m lacking,

So don’t let me go, just let me know,

I can slip and fall and you won’t let me go.

 

I packed my bags. It didn’t take long, my house was mostly full of Ellie’s things anyway, and my clothes, well, they were in a case with the flick of my wand.

I’d talked to Boss, telling him that I would probably come back for Ellie at some point, but until then I knew she had a home at the Dragon Park, and Boss would take good care of her. Boss always took care of things, he took care of my house too, and sold it once I was gone, putting the money in my Gringotts account.

I apparated to the station, I didn’t want to floo home in the middle of the night and it was too far to apparated. Besides, I needed time to think of exactly where I would go. Would it really be right to just appear at either of my parents houses, without any notice.

I had sent my owl off with a letter to Libby, and told it to fly to my mother’s house when she had delivered the note. I hoped she understood.

The train left at three in the morning. I didn’t know why, but for some reason it did, and I would arrive at one, just in time to catch Aurora who would be coming home on the Hogwarts Express.

Being in Scotland had been a mistake, a fall, and now, it was time to make things right. And see who would be there to catch me when I got home, if anybody.

 

Just let me know, that growing up goes slow.

I’m so sorry, it’s not like me,

It’s maturity that I’m lacking,

So don’t let me go, just let me know,

That growing up goes slow.

 

I got off the Train at Kings Cross, I felt nostalgic, wishing for the old times when I came here at least twice a year. Always knowing that I had a place to stay and a place to go.

Glancing up towards the clock, I saw that I had arrived five minutes earlier than I expected, I had time to rush across the station to where the Hogwarts Express to arrive.

I was only a few meters away from the barrier when I saw a familiar face. Of course I should have expected it.

Tall, dark hair, pale skin, still skinny as ever.

‘Roisia?’  four heads snapped round towards me.

Maybe there was such thing as a Happy Ending.

 




 

Oh my days I cannot believe that this is the second last chapter in my first novel on Harry Potter Fanfiction. For those of you who write I’m sure you know what a great feeling this is, though kinda sad because this story has been my lifeline through some troubled times. For you readers thank you so much for reading and that cherry on top would be a review. Hint hint.

Well, now if you can’t guess what’s happening you can’t be trying very hard! Anyways JK Rowling owns Harry Potter, and Christina Perri is the owner of the song I used which is A Sad Song! I hope you enjoyed, please, please leave a review!

~Char
 


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