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How Freaking Wonderful by HogwartsKid
Chapter 4 : How To Deal With A Murderous Potter and A Botched Plan
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 8

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Thanks to ImposedWriter@tda for this awesome chapter image

A/N: Look, a wild chapter appears! I'm quite pleased by the fact that this one was finished faster than most. Sorry if it's a bit boring, but this stuff needed to be included.

Hang in there for some adventures (including Gryffindor vs. Ravenclaw Quidditch, gobstones club fun times, after parties and more!) in upcoming chapters.

Make sure to review :)

Slughorn gives Potter a once over, shrugs, and goes back to writing a letter. Okay, so are we just going to ignore the fact that Potter's hot pink and seething and probably going to kill me, slowly and painfully? I look around the class for any source of help, but everyone' s gone back to staring at Potter's freakishly neon hair and skin. Guess we actually are just going to ignore the fact that Potter is going to murder me. Awesome.

Oh god, he's coming over. No, go away. Go away. Go away.

Well...chanting stuff in your head does not work at all to get stuff done. I don't know who came up with the theory, but it's proved to be completely ineffective, since Potter sits down beside me and looks at me expectantly, one eyebrow raised.

"So…" I say, "I see you've found your textbook."


"Which is good," I babble, trying not to concentrate on how pink Potter is, "because I'm kind of rubbish at this stuff, and you said your book has some written-in tips, which is a sort of unfair advantage for you, but whatever, and I'm not sure if Davies knows what he's doing either, but then again, he has to since it's mandatory to have at least an E on your Potions OWL to be in this class-"

"Edwards" he says again, cutting me off. I wonder if the potion affected his speech, because the only word he's been saying is 'Edwards'. Maybe he'll have to go around miming stuff. I giggle at the thought of Potter miming being trapped in a box with his face painted white, which he obviously takes for me laughing at his pinkness, because he says "D'you think this is funny?"

Guess that's a no to the mime thing. Too bad, it would've been the cherry on the top of this monumental mess up.

"Actually, yeah", because if I ignore the fact that I was probably going to be murdered for this enormous screw up, it was bloody hilarious. I start laughing harder, which breaks the spell of shock that had been cast over the class when Potter stormed in (quite dramatically may I add), and everyone bursts into raucous laughter. Well, everyone except Potter, but he does give this little grin which looks a tad forced. Probably doesn't want anyone to think he's bothered by being the laughing stock of the class. See Potter, this is what it feels like when you prank people. Ha! The shoe is on the other foot now! Except for the fact that I'm going to get in bucket loads of trouble for this, if I'm still alive at the end of this encounter.

"Would you mind explaining to me why I'm pink?" he asks. I'll give him this, he's handling the situation very calmly. I would be flipping out if I look like I was just thrown into a pool of pink dye.

"You know, I'd say it's a bit more magenta than just plain pink. It could even be fuchsia."

"Really? I think it's more on the rose side of the spectrum" Davies adds from my other side, stirring the cauldron steadily, obviously trying not to laugh at the situation.

Potter glares at him for a moment before looking back at me and saying "You. Corridor. Now."

Oooooh I'm scared Potter! What are you going to? Kill me in the hallway where there aren't any teachers or witnesses or...oh god, I'm going to die! Before I can protest, Potter has already latched onto my upper arm and is dragging me out quite fiercely.  And of course Slughorn doesn't notice a thing. Bloody crystalized pineapple obsessed teachers.

When we finally got into the hall, he stares at me, and keeps staring. It's weird. I should say something, because I feel like that' s what he's waiting for. Maybe he's trying to be menacing, but when you're pink, that doesn't really translate.

"Me. Corridor. Now. Me. Caveman." is all I'm able to come up with, because he sounded like some Neanderthal before, literally. "Also, can you let go of my arm?" I ask, because I just noticed he was still clutching my non-existent bicep. He seems to only remember it now too, because he snatches his hand back quickly, as though it was burned. Thanks Potter, real nice.

"So, what's crack-a-lacking Potty boy?" I say, using his hated nickname. Hey, if he's already annoyed, why not just feed the fire?

"For the love of Merlin, tell me why I've turned into a Care Bear!" he exclaims, throwing his arms up into the air. But he's right, he does look like a Care Bear! We learned about them in Muggle Studies in fifth year, and they're all cute  and puffy, and colourful. Did I just inadvertently call Potter cute? Ew no. Good thing he can't hear my thoughts. "Maybe we should get him some bear ears…"

"You're not putting bear ears on me!" he claps his hands over his ears protectively, "Isn't it bad enough I'm completely pink?" Guess I said that last part out loud, oops. "Edwards, seriously, tell me why I've been dyed pink!" I swear steam was going to come out of his ears at any moment, so it would be best if I got on with it.

"Well, you see," I start explaining, trying to go as quickly as possible, "I didn't want to stay with you for Christmas and Carson kept putting off writing to our mom to convince her to let me stay at Hogwarts so I was going to dye his hair green and only change it back when he wrote, but the potion fell on you instead, and somehow it turned you pink, and not just your hair. So really, you can say it's all Carson's fault for not writing, or your fault for forgetting your textbook and messing up my plans. Take your pick." Deflect the blame, deflect the blame! Good plan Clara!

"Are you serious?"

"Dead," I say with a smirk, "And why are you so bothered by this? You prank people all the time!"

Potter crossed his arms over his chest defensively and said tightly, "Yes well, I don't get pranked"

"Oh  come on, you have to have been pranked before!"

"Yes, well they weren't very good"

"Are you saying this was a good prank? Is this a compliment?"

"No, it's just that I tried every spell I knew to get it off, but I can't. It's very...resistant"

"So, what I'm getting from all this is: You think my prank is fabulous, and you're also a sore loser who can't take a joke."

"Your prank isn't good at all! You messed up in so many places! First, wasn't it just supposed to be the hair? And green? Does this look green? Plus, now it's completely failed because Carson still doesn't have the incentive to write to your mum, so you're stuck with us for the holidays! Really, me being pink doesn't help your cause at all, so you should just turn me back." He gave me a little shrug and held out his arms, as though excepting to be turned back. I guess I better, since it's true, my plan's a big flop.

Or is it…

"Maybe…" I reply.


"Well you see, Carson's very loyal to his friends, and it's even more of an incentive to write if you," I point at him just in case he doesn't understand, Potter is quite slow sometimes, "are the bargaining chip, rather than his hair. He'll feel so bad that he'll write as soon as possible! It's perfect! Why didn't I think of it before?" I give a little jump of triumph.

"Because it's a bloody stupid plan, that's why!"

"Oh, are you worried because you don't have faith in him to get his half of the deal done? See, there's your job. Convince him or stay like this...forever" Yes! I got to use it! And Dom thought it was too dramatic, what does she know?

 With that, I turn dramatically towards the potions room and skip back into class, happy with the outcome of this little talk, because:

I'm not dead
This plan might just work

 Potter yells at me, still rooted to the spot "You're going to help me with this, you know!"

I snort and call back, "Yeah, help you my arse! This is your problemo now Potts!"


Potter disappeared during second period, probably to Madam Pomfrey in an attempt to return to his normal colouring. Good luck with that Potter, there's a reason I got an O on my Charms OWL. My spell is binding, connected only to me, so no matter how good Poppy is, she won't be able to reverse it. Now, after regaling the story of my botched-but-not-really-botched plan to Dom, we were heading to lunch.

"I can't believe you turned my cousin pink!"

"You're not mad, right?"

 She shouldn't be, she's always complaining about all her relatives anyway.

"Nah, I have buckets full of cousins. Who cares if we lose one from the herd! How pink is he? Like, cupid pink?"

"Dom, cupid wasn't pink"

We reached the Great Hall and just crossing through the doorway when Potter comes up behind me and puts a hand on my shoulder and pushes me towards the Gryffindor table.

"Hey! Excuse you! What are you doing?" I bark angrily, trying to steer myself towards the Slytherin table where Dom has already sat down. Traitor.

Sadly, Potter is a determined pink numpity and it looks like I'll be taking a pit stop at the Gryffie table before getting to sample some of those delectable looking mashed potatoes I spy Patrick packing onto his plate.

As we approach his little friend group, I feel everyone's eyes turn towards us, well, towards Potter.

Don't even deny it, you'd be gaping like a goldfish if the spawn of the saviour of the wizarding world was completely pink. Yeah, thought so.

I resist the urge to laugh, only because I'm feeling slightly guilty about this whole situation. But hey, if it gets results, then I can deal with guilt. I'm a slytherin, we're ambitious people, this is what we do. We reach the other 7th year Gryffindors, and they're all looking at him with their gobs open in astonishment.

Freddie's the first to react, "Blimey James, you've turned into a Pigmy Puff!"

Potter glares at him, and Fred says "Too soon, mate?"

"Too soon" James agrees solemnly "but... good one" and gives Fred a high five. Boys, they're weird creatures.

"James…", Elliot says slowly, blinking rapidly as though he was trying to make sure he isn't seeing things, "Why are you pink?"

"It's her fault" he replies, jerking his head towards me

"No, it's not! We've gone over this!" I protest, and he rolls his eyes.

"Hey Carson, long time no see" I say, and look pointedly at my cowardly brother (I mean, really! What Gryffindor is too scared to face their sister? What happened to the bravery and courage and all that?)

"Erm, hi Clara," he says, shifting a bit in his seat. Yeah brother, shift all you want, I'm still giving you the judgement stare. "Uh, why's James pink?"

"Car, she won't turn me back until you send a letter to your mum, so go write it!" James whines.

"C'mon James! I just sat down for lunch, and I'm starving!" Huh, guess food ranks higher than friends. Maybe I should've gone with the Chocolate Frog idea. Or Carson secretly finds it funny that Potter's pink, but is to scared to laugh. It's probably both.

"Go, or you'll be benched during our game against Ravenclaw". That seemed to do it, because Carson slings his book bag over his shoulder and walks out of the great hall, muttering the whole way about entitled sisters and strawberry taffy coloured supposed friends.

"Well," Potter says, turning to me with a toothy smile on his face, "that was easy, change me back"

"Really Potter, how long have you known Carson? Let's just wait until he's actually sends the letter" I say, and head off towards the Slytherin table, leaving him to contemplate my wise words.

"Hey Clara!" Freddie calls, "Is being a dementor a fun job?"

"What?" I ask, thoroughly confused, turning back.

"No, it's soul destroying!" he replies joyously with a laugh.

"Clever Freddie, real clever. That one's a keeper."

A/N: Okay, so it's kind of a filler/not much happens, but fun stuff is coming up!

Tell me what you think of Clara's new plan and pink James and anything else! 

I love you all <3

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