Her hips sway as she walks out of the classroom, utterly oblivious to my gaze. She never catches me looking. She would kill me… or at the very least, seriously maim me. I just cannot understand how, even after two years, she still hates me. I have tried everything: I have not argued with her as much as I used to, I have taken her abuse (both verbally and physically) without questions… I just cannot seem to make her see that I fancy the pants off her. I know, I know… oh, just look at poor, pathetic, wimpy Scorpius. He’s like a love struck puppy… Except, of course, for the love bit. Because I am definitely not in love with her. Nope. Definitely not. I mean, she may be hot, I may want to kiss her senseless, but in love? No.
Beside me, Henry Bullstrode makes a groaning sound and I peel my eyes away from the door Roxanne had just walked out of and turn to look at the board: we have homework and lots of it. Making a slight groaning sound myself, I note down the homework and begin packing my bag. My head is aching again. Roxanne always makes my head ache. I always think too hard when she is concerned.
“Scorp,” someone murmurs behind me and I glance over my shoulder to see Vivian gliding through the crowd towards me. Everyone moves to let her past but she doesn’t notice. She never notices how people look at her. She is amazing, she is the most beautiful girl in the school, and her complete oblivion to that fact just makes her all the more stunning. I have literally seen boys lose track of their conversations and turn to stare at her unabashedly. And she honestly has no idea. She thinks no one notices her; that she slips by without a single eye turning to her; that no one knows who she is; that she is just part of the shadows.
“Hey Viv,” I smile. Over her shoulder, I catch a Fourth Year glaring at me. Oh yeah, most boys kind of hate me for being her friend. It is weird, with all the stares she gets, Vivian actually is pretty friendless. I think she likes it that way though, even if it does get a little lonely for her sometimes. I am her only real friend. “Well that was boring,” I snort, shoving past a bunch of giggling Second Years.
“Well you seemed to have your head stuck in the clouds for most of it,” she murmurs. Oh crap, she noticed. Well, of course she did. It’s Vivian for crying out loud, she notices everything – well almost everything – and what she doesn’t notice, I tell her. Except for that one little thing… You know, my little thing for that irritating Weasley. I just can’t bring myself to tell her… she will probably just laugh at me for my stupidity.
“I was just thinking,” I shrug, hoping she will drop it. She senses I do not want to talk about it and does not reply. I told you she was perfect.
“Oh Scorpy,” someone wails. “I’ve missed you so much! Scorpy, I just can’t wait to introduce you to my friends, they are going to love you!” the high voice continues. I glance at Vivian who is repressing a smirk. “Oh darling- Oh,” she breaks off, seeing Vivian. “It’s you,” she snarls. “Scorpy baby, how many times do I have to tell you, you don’t need her… You have me,” her smiles sickeningly, battering her eye lashes as if there was something stuck in them.
“For the millionth time Francesca,” I groan. “I am not your ‘Scorpy’, or your ‘baby’, or your anything. I. Do. Not. Like. You. Now could you please leave me alone and stop insulting my friend,” I snap, wishing Francesca Hayes would encounter a cauldron full of common sense sometime in the very near future. It is a hopeless wish… Trust me, I have wished it many times. Hayes looks at me with her watery blue eyes, giving me her best ‘puppy dog’ expression. Personally, I think it looks much more like a drowning cat that a cute puppy but who am I to judge?
“Miss Hayes,” Vivian murmurs. “I suggest you leave Scorpius alone before the rest of the school finds out about what you and Malcolm Donald did after last year’s Christmas Ball,” the smile on Vivian’s face suggests she is discussing the weather, or something equally mundane. The colour drains from Hayes’ face as she turns to stare in bewilderment at Vivian.
“How- How do you-?” she stutters.
“Believe me, that is not the only thing I know about you,” Vivian smiles again. “Now goodbye and stay away from Scorpius… For your own sake,” she sighs, as if chastising a naughty child. Hayes gives me one last pleading look before glaring at Vivian and storming off.
“Have fun with your pathetic girlfriend Scorpy, I understand that I am just too womanly for you!” she huffs when she reaches the other end of the corridor. I have to refrain from laughing out loud at that ridiculous statement. Hayes wouldn’t know a woman if one hit her with a broom. A woman was someone like… Well, someone like Vivian, or Roxanne.
“Come on Scorpy,” Vivian smirks, leading the way down the corridor to the dungeons.
The Slytherin Common Room has not changed in the five years I have been here and I highly doubt it has altered at all since at least the Battle of Hogwarts, although I don’t think even then there was much that needed changing as most of the damage was on the ground floor or above. The same low backed leather sofas, the same grand fireplace, the same greenish tinge to the light…
“Malfoy,” someone shouts from across the room. “Nott!”
“Laybrooke,” I nod in greeting as the owner of the shout comes striding towards us. Vivian just looks at him, waiting for him to continue.
“We’ve managed to book an extra training session for this evening, it will be good to get some more practice in and the weather looks like it is going to stay clear so we can practice a few new manoeuvres,” he explains. “I’ll meet you at five on the pitch, make sure you’re already changed,” he adds before turning to Flint who had just come in behind us. Vivian sighs and I roll my eyes at her.
“I swear he must be bribing Madame Bell,” I mutter. “There’s no other way he can be getting all these ‘extra’ training sessions.”
“Madame Bell was a Gryffindor, it would take more than bribes, or even threats, for her to help out Slytherin,” Vivian reasons. “It is probably Zabini’s doing,” she shrugs.
“But Zabini has no interest in Quidditch, I’ve never seen him at a single match!”
“Doesn’t mean he doesn’t want us to win.”
One day, I am going to strangle Josh Laybrooke. I mean seriously. We started this ‘training’ session at five… It is now half past seven and we are still here. Freezing. He lied about the weather too: it is raining. As the Chasers finish their final lap and touch back down to the ground, Laybrooke calls us all over to him. Grudgingly, I move from my position of shelter by the stands and move towards my Captain.
“Laybrooke, I suggest you hold this meeting in the changing rooms if you do not want a mutiny,” Vivian murmurs expressionlessly. Laybrooke looks on the verge of protesting but Vivian has already started walking towards the Slytherin changing rooms. The rest of us follow her without a word. As we take a seat on the benches, I take a look at our bedraggled team. There is Vivian, of course, who plays Beater along with Sixth Year Darrel Davenport who has made First Years cry on more than one occasion. Then there are the Chasers: Marcus Flint, a Fourth Year with an obscenely big ego and a frustratingly good aim; Joe White, possibly the biggest Quidditch player at Hogwarts and a Seventh Year like Laybrooke and finally, Miriam Smith, unquestionably the best Chaser Slytherin has ever had but also one of the most peculiar girls I have ever come across, she is in my year but I do not think I have heard her utter a single word. Ever. Then obviously, there is Laybrooke the Captain as Keeper and me as Seeker.
“Well, I’m glad we’ve tried out those new moves,” Laybrooke begins. “I expect you to perfect them before our next training session–”
“Our next training session is tomorrow,” Flint states dumbly. “There’s no way we’re gonna be able to do that.”
“Shut up,” Laybrooke snaps at his least favourite team member. If Flint wasn’t such a good shot, Laybrooke would have gotten rid of him a long time ago. “Just meet here at five again and we can go over them. You did well today, sorry for the shitty weather, and I’ll see you tomorrow then,” Laybrooke finishes. I glance at Vivian who just raises an eyebrow: it’s not like Laybrooke to give such a short speech, or such a nice one either.
After getting changed, I notice Smith and Laybrooke have both vanished and another glance at Vivian, who rolls her eyes, confirms my suspicions. Smith is without a doubt the biggest slut in the school. The fact that she is hot doesn’t help either. I have no doubt that Laybrooke was in a hurry to get laid.
“Come on,” Vivian murmurs and I sling my bag over my shoulder and step out into the drizzling rain, thankful for the permanent drying spell on my cloak. We walk up to the castle in silence but not an uncomfortable silence, Vivian is the kind of person that it is easy to be silent with.
“I’m starved,” I grumble as we walk into the Great Hall. There are considerably less students in here than usual but I suppose we are somewhat later than usual thanks to that gruelling training session. Making out way over to the Slytherin table, I glance around the Hall, my eyes subconsciously searching out the all too familiar figure of a certain Gryffindor. When at last I take a seat, I spot her, sitting directly across from me.
When someone like Roxanne Weasley is sitting across from you, you suddenly become aware of how uncharismatic you are. She eludes a quiet confidence, people listen to her, she just smiles and they are all in the palm of her hand. She even eats gracefully, if it had not been for Vivian, I would not have even believed that was possible. The way she smiles down at her food when something subtle amuses her, the way she will raise her eyebrow just the slightest bit at her dark skinned friend, the way she will share a discreet knowing glance with the black haired girl, the way she laughs… Merlin her laugh drives me crazy. It’s not especially loud but I would be able to pick it out of the noise in the Great Hall even during an end of term feast. It is a beautiful sound, I can think of nothing that even comes close to comparing to it.
“Scorp,” Vivian frowns. “Are you okay? You have barely eaten anything?”
“I’m fine,” I shrug half-heartedly, tearing my gaze away from the Gryffindor table. “I’m just not that hungry I guess,” I mumble as I begin spearing some potatoes with my fork. “So what are the odds for the Ravenclaw versus Gryffindor match?” I ask, changing the subject.
“Gryffindor will win but it will be a closer call than they think,” Vivian sighs. “The Ravenclaw Seeker is surprisingly good.”
“But not as good as me of course,” I nudge her playfully.
“No, not as good as the Gryffindor one either, but she is still good. I expect it will be a good game.”
“Well who do we want to win?” I frown.
“Because Gryffindor is already in the lead.”
“So if Ravenclaw wins…?”
“We have a chance of winning the cup. But Ravenclaw will not win. No matter how close it is, Gryffindor will win it,” she shrugs, clearly losing interest in the conversation.
“Seen Smith or Laybrooke yet?” I ask.
“Smith walked in five minutes ago but Laybrooke is probably still recovering… Either that or he is pinning her underwear to his bed,” Vivian states in a way that suggests she was discussing this week’s obituaries.
“Do you reckon it will make training awkward?” I think aloud.
“Scorpius… Was training awkward after she let you explore her female anatomy in a broom cupboard at the start of the year? Was it awkward after she slept with Davenport and White on two consecutive days? Miriam Smith has an uncanny ability to make what would be an awkward situation to anyone else, into a perfectly normal situation… After all, if she was awkward with every guy she had ever done something with, she would never stop being awkward,” Vivian sighs exasperatedly.
“Yes but Laybrooke is our Captain,” I argue.
“You are rather naïve if you think this is the first time Smith has screwed Laybrooke, Scorpius,” she rolls her eyes again but before I can come up with a decent retort, something across the Hall catches my eye. Roxanne is getting up. Her skirt rides up her thigh just a little as she steps out from the bench and something catches in my throat.
“I’m going to the common room,” I inform Vivian without thinking. She raises an eyebrow at my abrupt departure but does not comment. Heading out of the Great Hall, I catch sight of a pair of long, slim and devilishly sexy brown legs walking up the stairs. Merlin this girl is hot. It should be illegal to walk like that in school. Seriously.
Without a second thought, I jump up the stairs two at a time to follow her. At the top of the first flight of stairs, she turns left into a small corridor I do not think I have ever used before. We walk a little down the dimly lit hallway, me several meters behind her and trying not to make a noise. Merlin I feel like such a stalker. I am not even entirely sure why I am following her, she just gets to me in a way no one else does… This lust I feel for her makes me do unbelievably strange things.
“You are aware that following some down corridors is not exactly socially acceptable behaviour,” a soft voice breaks through my thoughts. I freeze in horror as Roxanne stops and turns around to face me. “Honestly Malfoy, you could have at least used a Disillusionment Charm,” she rolls her eyes in a similar fashion to how Vivian sometimes rolls hers. I find it almost odd how similar Roxanne is to my best friend and I cannot help but think they would be exceptionally good friends. Of course, my thoughts do not last long as Roxanne clears her throat to re-attract my attention. “Is there something I can help you with Malfoy,” she sneers, spitting out my name with distaste.
I am rather sensitive about my name. For good reason. So her action ignites that anger in me only she is capable of eliciting. I told you I was not in love with her and this is why. She can still make me so goddamn mad.
“As a matter of fact, there is,” I smirk, set of revenge. Roxanne’s expression does not falter. Even when I take a step closer to her. “There has been something on my mind for a while Weasley,” I murmur huskily, taking another step towards her. This time her arrogant smirk slips slightly and I see a frown etch itself on her forehead.
“Malfoy…” she snarls in warning as I take yet another step towards her.
“Yes Weasley?” I smirk.
“What are you doing?” she narrows her eyes at me.
“Just something I have wanted to do for a while,” I fake innocence as I take another step so that there is now less than a foot between us. Roxanne does not back away however, that would be showing fear and that is not something a Gryffindor does. Especially not when that Gryffindor is Roxanne Weasley.
“And what is that?” she practically hisses.
“I guess you’ll just have to wait and see,” I chuckle, moving around to the side slightly so that she is backed up against a wall. This girl drives me crazy. Standing this close to her I can feel the heat radiating from her beautiful skin, I can smell that irresistible sent that transfixes me, I can sense her warm breathe on my neck. She is one of the few girls in the school who does not have to tilt their head back to look at me; she is almost as tall as I am, which is saying something as I am one of the tallest pupils at Hogwarts and I am only a Fifth Year.
“Malfoy,” she mutters again but this time her voice is quieter and she is staring directly into my eyes. To begin with, I was not even sure what I was doing. I guess I just wanted her to feel some of the desire I felt. I wanted to relieve that desperation I feel when I am near her by getting even closer to her. But now? Now she is so close. Too close.
My heart is racing in my chest as I close the final gap between us, pushing her up against the wall. To my astonishment, she does not struggle, or even protest. She just keeps her eyes fixed on mine and her expression guarded. I just stare back at her, feeling her body pressed against mine. Every atom of my being is tingling at her proximity and terror grips me for fear she can feel my shaking. This girl seriously fucks with me head.
“Malfoy,” she breathes again but this time I cannot detect any warning. Just curiosity. And maybe something else. But that might just be my imagination. She bends her head down and whispers in my ear. “I suggest you get the hell off of me.”
I stumble back in surprise as she shoves me in the chest. Rage immediately flares up inside me. I was so close. The absence of her body drives me crazy. “What the fuck Weasley,” I snarl.
“Excuse me! You were the one pushing me against the fucking wall,” she seethes. “Are you Slytherin whores not satisfying you? Did you honestly think that I, of all people, would succumb to your pathetic seduction attempt?” she starts shouting and I can see the blinding rage in her eyes. Merlin she is hot when she is angry. What the hell is wrong with my hormones? I mean seriously, I should be running for the mountains, she is that mad. And believe me, an angry Weasley is a handful but an angry Roxanne is the worst. Probably because she doesn’t get angry very often. “You are a repulsive, arrogant, egotistical asshole, Malfoy!” she screams.
“And you think you’re so much better, huh?” I retort, stepping closer to her again. “You think you are some kind of saintly being that everyone should worship. huh? Well let me tell you something Roxanne,” I snarl her name and revel in the horror that darts through her mesmerizing eyes. “You are no better than the rest of us,” I whisper in her eat before pushing her back up against the wall and pressing my lips to hers.
So here it is, the first actual chapter of Irrational. I'm not too sure about it myself but it is surprisingly hard to capture the mind of a fifteen year old boy... Especially seeing as I am not a guy and I don't even have a brother. But anyway, I hope you enjoyed it and let me know what you think. Obviously this is a companion to Paradox and this chapter ends pretty much where Paradox begins. Anyway, thanks for reading,