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I'm Nott in Love With Potter by MaryOlivia
Chapter 3 : Chapter 3
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 1

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Thanks autum.shades for the brilly CI!!

(Aaron Johnston as Ryan Nott)


“I refuse to have Ryan cook anything now.”

“Well, yes, it’s too late now.” My mum agreed, taking a few steps forward to stand next to my father. “I was thinking we could just put it here.” My mum pondered, spreading her arms in the direction she was talking about.

“What are you doing out here anyway? It’s freezing!” I exclaimed, my teeth chattering together as I stood on the doorstep to our back garden.

It shouldn’t’ve been freezing but that’s England for you.

“Repositioning the washing line.” came the short answer from my father as my mother tittered on about different positioning, seeming to of found a suitable one.

“Why?” I asked, scrunching my eyes in confusion. ‘I’ll tell you later’ my mother mouthed to me, shooing me away.

Well, ‘later’ won’t do.

First off, no one ‘later’s me.

I also really don’t care that much.

Another thing, I’m not an animal; I don’t need to be shooed.

I’m like a Hippogriff.

If you shooed a Hippogriff, you’d probably die.

She will probably die soon, too.

“Can we get a KFC or something then, if Ryan’s too lazy to get over here from his new BBF’s house? And I want to say BFF means best boyfriends house. You know he’s gay. Getting it off with James Potter. Twat face.” I ranted. My mother just rolled her eyes and pretty much ignored my gay rant for a moment or two.

I’m not against gay people, I’m against my brother.

“Oh Annie!” She sighed, I could tell she was getting bored of our pointless arguments but is his fault he pretends he’s not gay. All the signs are there. But now ill be the one getting the rant and hell get off nice and easy like always.

But the rant didn’t come instead she just says, “No, we’ll be leaving soon, we can get some food at the airport.”

“Leaving where and what airport?”

“Uh… leaving here and where do we live sweetie? London. So London.” my mother replied sarcastically, twirling a loose strand of brown hair between her fingers.

“Where are we going?” My mother tinkled a laugh, watching my dad wander around the garden, looking lost at my mum’s random and vague instructions. He’d do anything for her honestly, he can’t say no.

“Oh, you do crack me up sometimes Annie. On holiday.”

“We’re going on holiday?”

“Oh, come on now Annie, stop!” My mother giggled.

I don’t understand what’s so funny. If we are going on holiday –which we’re not- the fact I’m asking these apparently idiotic questions wouldn’t even be funny.

“No, seriously mum. Where are we going?”

“I…” She trailed off, the smile fading from her face. “Did I really not tell you?”

“Uh… no.”

“Oh,” She chirped, going back to her normally irritating self in a split second. “Well were going to the Caribbean with the Potters.” She carried on in her ‘mystical’ voice. It seems this situation is very important then because that voice is only for special occasions of embarrassment.

“Who’re the Potters?”

“Oh Annie, you know, Harry Potter, Ginny Potter… you get the picture.”

I really don’t.

 “But why? We’ve never even talked to them before, the only interactions we have are Ryan’s gay, secret relationship with the oldest twat.” I reminded her, idly getting out a strawberry lace from my pocket.


“Yes we have darling, your father and me -.”

“Your father and I.” My dad corrected; grammar freak as ever, as he continued to stroll around the garden looking like a madman. I wonder what the neighbours think.

Actually I don’t, we don’t have any.

That’s right, empty houses to the left and right of us; I can’t help but think that tells us something….

“Your father and I,” My mother repeated through gritted teeth. “went for dinner with them only a few weeks back.”

“Why do you never tell me anything! I haven’t even got a cozzie!” I whined. “And from what I have heard there is certainly many sexy guys in the Caribbean!”  

I don’t think my parents really wanted to hear that. But it’s the truth!

Who am I to deny the truth?

And anyway, I bet even my mother, the lonely old hag, would fancy them.

Ok, ‘lonely old hag’ may be stretching it a bit far seeing as my parents go at it like rabbits on a daily basis.

It’s honestly disgusting.

I shuddered at the thought, which my mother ignored and started to reprimand me.

I can see it in her eyes.

They’re like swirling pools horrible mum/dad jokes.

So really entertaining to look into if you get my jist.

“Yes, if only I were a few years younger,” She sighed wistfully, looking into the far distance.

I’m gonna pretend I didn’t just hear that.

“Anyway,” My mother shook herself out of her daydream with a blush. “I already got you a bikini.” I raised my eyebrow, unsure if I could trust her.

I’ve seen the swimsuits she wears and they’re ghastly.

“And I’ve packed for you last night while you were sleeping-,” a disturbing image of my mother dressed in a nightie, her tiny five foot form bouncing into my room and packing away all my clothes as I lay there, completely unaware, creeped its way into my mind, freaking me out more than it should’ve.

“Uhh, ok. What time are we leaving?”

“Hmm... I would say around an hour or twos time. We’re flooing so it will take about ten, fifteen minutes to get there. Depending.”

“ONE HOUR?” I cried, my mouth dropping open to form an ‘o’ shape. “What is wrong with you? I haven’t even washed my hair!” I moaned, swinging my body so it hit the wall besides me in agony that my parents ignored. They carried on tottering around our garden as I lay on the wall, giving them both looks of pure grief.

“Well, you’ll be in the pool in not time anyway.” My dad tested, trying to calm me down.

Dads don’t get anything.

There as clueless as fuck and nothing we, as cluster of ill done by daughters, can do to stop that.

We just need to stick together to face the many clueless dolts that surround out planet with sorrow and heartache.

“Merlin’s boxer shorts, I don’t think you understand the importance of a daily wash. Stupid men, they would never shower if they didn’t have their wives to make them.” I quipped, crossing my arms and putting a very serious, I-mean-business kinda look.

My father muttered something uncomprehendible, and I could see his eyes roll, even from this distance.

Wow, I have some amazing eyesight.

“And anyway, one does not simply get into the pool once they’ve arrived to the hotel.” I said with a sigh. My parents joined in once they got the Lord of the Rings reference. “You chill around, yes dad – around the pool with one hundred percent swag – no less will do, otherwise you look like you don’t really care- until everyone sees what you have to offer and then you jump in like the world’s fucking ending!” I declared enthusiastically, throwing my hands up in defeat.

It seems my folks finally decided where to put the washing line because dad picked the green line up off the floor and walked over to a pole at the end of the garden.

The same fucking pole as before.

I thought ‘moving the washing line’ actually meant ‘moving the washing line’, not walking around for ten minutes, ignoring your daughters cries, pretending to move it.

Actually that’s probably why they did just give up.

Because of my moaning.

Oh well.

“Hey sis!” A cheery voice greeted behind me.

“Did you have sex with him? You know it’s important to stay safe son.”

“Im not gay with James!”

“How did you know that’s what I was talking about?” I winked as if it proved something.

“I wasn’t even with him.”

“Where were you then?”

“Out. Sorry mum.”

I was offended by that comment to be honest.

I am nothing like our mother.

She’s weird and fantasises about boys twenty years her junior.

But I didn’t let it show.

“Should be.” I muttered childishly, sticking out my tongue. “And did you know we were goin’ on holiday with the Potters?”


“Oh yeah, I forgot you and James probably talk about it over sex.” I reminded myself with slight disgust, the true Slytherin in me shining out.

“I’m not gay with him, I only joined his band. I still hate the twat.”

“Gaymance!” I sung under my breath, slightly proud at my new word, stepping out in to the light, neatly dodging a punch sent my way by Ryan.

“Idiot!” He sung back, saying a quick hello to mum and dad, going to sit on one of the benches lining the fence either side of the garden.

“Wow, you should’ve been the singer, forget guitarist, I think you should defo pursue a singing carer.”

“Shut up Annie, no-one wants an illiterate Slytherins opinion anyway, it’s invalid.”


Invalid; it means it’s not worth any-,”

“I know what invalid means! Ugh, you pompous Gryffies think you know everything!” I burst, naturally throwing an insult back.

“What did we say about all the house rivalry?” Dad snaps at us. I rolled my eyes and sat on the opposite bench, ignoring Ryan’s laughing.

“Can you at least show me where were going?”

“Can you not wait?” Mum asked exasperatedly, looking at me with a raised eyebrow.

“Could you of told me in the first place?” I asked back, raising my own eyebrow.

“Annie…” Mum warned, raising her eyebrows even further up her forehead, which I didn’t think was possible.

“Fine, I can wait.” I sighed, getting up and walking to the back door. “I’m going out.” I told her, grabbing my shoes from the door and slipping them on. Ryan made some sort of scoff-snort sound in the back of his throat that I decided was probably a noise of disgust, as he guessed I was going to say bye to my boyfriend and his gay lovers brother.

“Want me to say hi for you RyRy?” I asked in a sickly-sweet voice, a sarcastic smile plastered on my face.

“You can tell him I can’t wait to beat him up again.”

“You’ve never beaten him up before.”

“First time for everything.” He replied arrogantly, that irrepressible smirk still on his face.

“I’m gonna go before I stick that bloody pole through your chest.” I concluded, walking swiftly away until I got to the living room. I grabbed my cardigan and slipped it on, ignoring my mother’s cries that I had to be back in twenty minutes and stepped out the door, slamming it firmly behind me. I walked down the wide street and turned the right corner. Marching up the steps to Scorpius’ elaborate house, rolling my eyes at the trademark peacocks I knocked on the door. His mum answered, not surprised to see me but then she’s always like that, unfazed; I guess that’s where Scorp gets it from.

“Hello, Annie dear.”

“Hello, Mrs Malfoy.” I rushed, stepping up to join her in the corridor. I started messing with my hair and clothes, patting them down. She waved me forwards to walk with her to Scorp’s room.

“How’s your summer so far?” She asked, smiling down at me.

“Not too bad so far but I found out I’m going on holiday-.”

“With the Potters, I heard and I can defiantly guess how you feel. Their not that bad though.” I started to protest the James was a bastard but she interrupted me. “You’ll see Annie. You think their families so bad but you like Al don’t you, Lily? Harry and Ginny?”

“What about James?”

“One day you’ll understand why James is how he is, why he’s so mean to you. I’d say he was quite pleasant but I can tell he’s still prejudice against me even though I’m not an actual Malfoy.”

“Exactly, he always goes on about that stuff.”

“One day, Annie. I’ll see you later.” She smiled knowingly, her eyes twinkling as she left me wondering what the hell I didn’t know, outside my boyfriends room where I could hear a lot of noise.

“Thanks.” I finally called, I heard a quiet hum in reply and that was it. 

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