Chapter 6 : Battle of Girls
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Battle of Girls
The notices appeared in every girl’s dormitory the morning after and all hell broke loose. Suddenly Kaitlin regretted saying she’d help James. If ever the Weasley twins (now single sibling) were good at advertising, this piece of information blew all previous advertising out the window. Imagine if you will a brightly coloured A3 sized piece of paper, coloured Gryffindor gold and red of course with intones of other colours as well. It read:
Fancy yourself young single and talented.
Want a chance at dating the illustrious James Sirius Potter?
Come now we all know you know he’s now single.
If your charms aren’t working, if he isn’t looking your way, if you find yourself constantly rejected and humiliated.
Don’t worry or fret.
The contest to be James Potter’s next girlfriend has begun.
Girls wanting to enter must sign up on the sheet below.
Contestants will be informed of their tests via owl – and must send back the form provided.
No contestant must talk to another contestant about the tests.
Any conspiracy will be dealt with.
Tests will be conducted on Friday nights in the room of requirement.
No one outside the female population must know of this contest – so no blabbing to teachers of members of the opposite sex.
No approaching James Potter for any reason.
This is a fair contest, cheaters will be disqualified.
If you don’t past the tests set you will also be disqualified.
If you past the tests you will be on to the next round.
Contestants must get on well with Kaitlin – any fakeness will be noticed.
Any girl interested in fame or fortune will automatically be disqualified.
Good luck to you all!
Yup, it was definitely a long list, Lily must have been up half the night creating it, for one thing was sure, none of the words on the list had come from James himself. Kaitlin dressed slowly knowing without a doubt that despite the rule about not approaching herself with fakeness people would be coming up to her all day trying to get a head start. Lily had already told Kaitlin to take down the name of anyone who did this for they were to be automatically disqualified. Lily had set up so many rules because she hoped to quickly whittle down all those who were only interested in fame and fortune so that people who were really genuine were the only ones left. Also Lily hoped that the contest was moved slow enough so that James would finally see the potential in Kaitlin and realize that she was the one for him.
Though Kaitlin had expected it, she never expected the level of craziness she was confronted with, this was almost worse than the last year of not being James friend at all. As Kaitlin made her way to breakfast she really wished she could just run back upstairs again. However luck was not on her side as she bumped into Lily and was forced into the Great Hall.
The uproar that my poster created was incredibly funny, to my eyes at least. Something told me from the look on Kaitlin’s face that she wasn’t amused, she looked like she was contemplating running back to the dorm but I stopped her in her tracks and forced her into the great hall for breakfast with me. The morning that yet to really begin and I’d already struck three names on the ‘no entry’ list. These were people who had already flouted the rules I’d placed on the contest. A small part of me – and by that I mean a very very small part – felt bad about the fact that I was essentially leading these girls on.
Oh the contest was very real and I will play my part well but let’s face it, none of these girls are really going to win. I know almost all the girls at Hogwarts and really only girls in years six and seven have a chance at entering and from those contestants none really have a chance with my brother. The only one who would suit my brother down to the ground is the one person who won’t be entering. Never fear, I love matchmaking and I will make it my mission to see Kaitlin and my brother together at last.
Ok its official I regret saying I’d help my beloved brother. At first I was bored, and jumped at the chance to matchmake my brother. I completely regret that now, this is the hardest thing I’ve ever taken on; hell this makes school work look easy. Is there even a girl out there that fits my brother’s description? I don’t even think I can answer that. So far I must have eliminated at least twenty girls so far. I’ve seen girls crying all over the place; don’t even try to enter the bathrooms anymore or any of the house girl dorms.
People were going crazy about this. Originally I wasn’t going to take this seriously, now I might have to change my mind. After spending time watching such muggle shows that humiliate contestants, I had thought it would be funny to set up something similar for the first test but I wondered now whether it would be enough.
The applications people sent in were sometimes hilarious. I now understand why muggle dating sites were so popular. Aunt Hermione always said they were rubbish but I understand the appeal and certainly the people who work there must be giggling nonstop.
Seriously some of this stuff was total drivel; ‘I enjoy long walks on the beach’, ‘I enjoy long shopping sprees’, ‘I want fame and fortune’, ‘I look for a man who can match me in good looks’, ‘I want someone who will be my arm candy’, the list went on and on.
I was so glad this wasn’t about my love life, for this was so sad it was almost depressing. None of these girls seemed to want an actual relationship, it was still so important in society to have a social standing, to be powerful and noticed, love didn’t factor into it.
Sill despite it all I managed to find a sum of fifteen girls to put forth for the testing this Friday night. Believe me fifteen girls out of the female population of Hogwarts was more than I could have hoped for. However, I was losing the will, I knew my brother but not on the same level as say a best friend would, which is precisely why I dragged Kaitlin into the great hall this morning.
I’m well aware of the situation between my brother and friend is delicate at best. It would be better for everyone if they could just forgive, forget and be friends again straight away. However, that wasn’t the way that things worked…unfortunately.
‘Kaitlin do you have any ideas?’ I asked.
She looked at me like she couldn’t believe I’d asked her opinion.
‘I thought you were organizing things’ she said.
‘I am but you know James best, what sort of tests should I do?’ I asked.
Kaitlin winced when I said she knew James best but I tried to ignore it.
Well it took a while but she eventually managed to reply.
‘Well James likes to have fun. He likes girls that let their hair down and aren’t afraid to get their hands dirty and make a fool of themselves’ she said. Her eyes had glazed over at this point and she seemed lost in her own mind.
Still I couldn’t help feel sorry for my friend and her obvious unrequited love for my brother. Though the ideas she was spewing out were amazing and I couldn’t wait to make them real. Suddenly Friday night didn’t seem so dull and with any chance I could test all the girls in one night!
I stood within the shadows of the room of requirement. The test course looked spectacular. I was half tempted to test the course myself. Seriously I might not have the best life and had spent the last year in a depressive state but even I couldn’t deny how fun this course would be to try out.
The test was full proof in eliminating the sickly fake girls from the ones who were actually worth something more. The course began with a large ball pond, at the bottom of the pool there were several watermelon chunks, for most of these girls touching something as gross as mashed watermelon was too disgusting, the trick was to find the whole watermelon – that was Lily’s idea after watching too many muggle films on repeat, she’d become obsessed with the ‘I carried a watermelon’ scene from Dirty Dancing (Ardolino, E. (Director). (1987). Dirty Dancing [Motion Picture] USA: Great American Films Limited Partnership).
Following the ball pond was a high ladder to climb, then one of those things from army training where you have to crawl under a net and through mud – I was especially looking forward to that bit.
Then there was a joke section where you had to pick out the best practical joke and finally there was the question round where you had to answer five questions - questions that James had already given answers to. This was to see if there were any common interests. It was my job to ask the questions while Lily supervised the rest.
True hilarity was found in the room of requirement that night. Kaitlin had never laughed like that before; it wasn’t just that seeing the humiliation of others that was amusing it was seeing the humiliation of girls who normally wouldn’t take one look at her. What was disappointing however was that realistically none of these girls were appropriate but Lily and Kaitlin had to find some girls to take to the next round. In the end they decided upon five girls; Casey Smith, Elizabeth Marks, Susan Bird, Primrose Star and Edith Small.
It would be great to say that these five girls passed the test based on the answers they gave Kaitlin but unfortunately this wasn’t the case. In fact not one of the girl’s answers matched the answers of James. No these girls were picked based on the fact that they were the least whinny ones on the assault course. Lily had a feeling that by the end no one would be the winner.
Not sure if the bits of third person work well between the different p.o.v’s. Are people enjoying this story or should I just give up now? ~ Zyii
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