Chapter 1 : Mummy's Crying Again
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Mummy’s crying again. She’s done that a lot since Daddy left.
And if she’s not crying, she just sits there. In silence.
She never smiles or laughs anymore.
Aunt Ginny tells her that she can’t keep going on like this; that she needs to be strong for me and Hugo. Aunt Ginny says that Daddy wouldn’t want her to be like this. He’d want her to be happy. He’d want all of us to be happy.
Mummy says that she can’t be strong, and that she can’t be happy.
Aunt Ginny tells her that she’s being silly.
Mummy says she doesn’t care. Not anymore.
Sometimes, I’m sad too. I don’t get to see Daddy anymore. He’s never here.
When I ask where he is, I’m told that he’s gone to visit Uncle Fred. But Uncle Fred’s in heaven… And I know that people who go to heaven don’t come back.
Does that mean my daddy’s not coming back?
Uncle Harry says that Daddy hasn’t really left us. As long as he’s in my head and my heart, he’ll always be here.
I don’t understand this. If Daddy’s not left us and he’s here, then why can’t I see him?
This time it’s not just Mummy crying. All of us are.
Gramma Weasley is in hysterics; she’s the other person who’s not been able to cope since Daddy left us. She says she can’t believe this has happened again.
Mummy is pale, and her brown eyes hollow. She cries in silence, looking straight at a wooden casket and clutching on to Uncle Harry’s hand tightly. It’s death white, but not once does Uncle Harry release his hand from Mummy’s.
Auntie Moon has Hugo perched on her lap, stroking his hair as he whimpers. He doesn’t know what’s going on, but all the crying is making him uncomfortable. He doesn’t like it. Auntie Moon is the only who isn’t crying; she just looks sad. Her blue eyes are dull, and they no longer sparkle like the stars.
There are so many people here, all dressed in black. They are all here to say goodbye to Daddy.
Apparently, this is Daddy’s last send off.
I don’t really know what this means… but I know I don’t like it.
My chest hurts and my eyes sting. My lip begins to wobble. Slowly, I start to cry too. I feel a small hand slip into mine, and between all the blur I see a pair of green eyes.
Al whispers to me that it’ll be okay.
It’s those words again. Since Daddy left, that’s all I’ve heard people say. I hate them.
Albus probably doesn’t know what they mean, but is using them because everyone else has.
Aunt Ginny places a hand on my shoulder, and gives it a light squeeze. She’s awfully pale like Mummy, and her red freckles are bright on her skin.
I turn to look at the casket. I don’t really understand what it has to do with Daddy.
Another tear falls.
I don’t want to say goodbye. I don’t want Daddy to go.
It’s really quiet in our house this evening.
Everyone else has gone. Only me, Hugo and Mummy are here.
Hugo’s asleep; Uncle Harry put him to bed before he and Aunt Ginny left with James, Albus and Lily.
Mummy’s on the sofa, staring at the fire crackling on the hearth. I sit on the floor a few feet away, staring at her.
She’s not crying anymore. She’s got no more tears left to shed.
She’s looks like an old toy. A broken doll that’s beyond repair.
I want to fix her.
Slowly, I move towards her.
I call out to her.
She looks at me, but her expression remains the same.
I pull myself onto the sofa and curl my small body against hers.
I want to say something but I can’t. I don’t know what to say.
I place my hand in hers.
I think back to what Al said to me earlier.
Not really believing the words, I tell Mummy that everything’s going to be okay. That we’ll be alright.
We’ll never be alright though. Daddy’s gone.
Mummy looks at me again; this time her stares not blank. A small, crooked smile is playing on her face. It’s barely there, but I see it.
Something flutters inside me, and I smile back.
Daddy may be gone, but perhaps we will be okay. Perhaps we will be alright.
Author Note: Well, that quite possibly put a damper on everyone’s mood. Sorry about that, but this has been niggling me for a few days, so I had to write it. I hope this is a realistic perspective, considering it’s from a five year old’s POV. I tried to write this from experience as well, as I lost my Dad when I was this age, and so I tried to think back as to what I was feeling and how I didn’t really understand it all.
Anywho, I hope you enjoyed it! Please let me know with a review, and as always, constructive criticism is always appreciated.