Chapter 32 : The Panic
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“You’re what?” George asked. He must have heard her wrong. She couldn’t be… pregnant. There was no way. They weren’t ready for something that big, were they? Could he handle this?
“I’m pregnant.” Hermione whispered again. She felt panicked. As good as the last few weeks had been, part of her still expected him to get up and leave. And she couldn’t take him leaving again. If he left again, she would be done with him for good. She deserved someone who would face the hard things in life with her, not run away when things got difficult. Even though she was scared senseless, she was trying to be strong.
“With a baby?” George asked, still not quite sure what she was saying. Hermione chuckled nervously.
“That’s typically how pregnancy goes.”
“How far along are you?” George was starting to grasp this. Hermione was pregnant. He had gotten Hermione Granger pregnant.
“Almost 2 months.” Hermione spoke quietly, her panic setting back in. George was silent. He hadn’t looked at her since she told him. The longer he didn’t look at her, the more fear crept into her mind.
“Are you scared?” Hermione asked him after a few awkward moments passed. George finally looked up at her.
“Scared to death.” George told her.
“Me too.” Hermione smiled nervously.
“How did we let this happen?” George asked out loud, not paying attention to Hermione anymore. He stood and began pacing back and forth. They weren’t ready for this. They’d only been dating a few months. His own panic was taking him over completely.
“We never used protection.” Hermione answered him mechanically.
“How are we going to tell my parents? They’re going to kill me.” George said, still speaking his mind out loud.
“They’ve always wanted grandchildren.” Hermione whispered, but George didn’t hear her.
“We’re not ready for this. We’re not. I can’t believe we let this happen. We can barely take care of each other, how are we supposed to take care of a baby? We can’t do this. I can’t handle this. We’re not even married!” George said frustrated, running his fingers through his hair anxiously. Hermione just stood there, listening to him.
“This isn’t all about you.” Hermione sputtered out. George still didn’t hear her. He was lost in his own train of thought still pacing back and forth.
“What are we supposed to do? I should have known that’s why you were sick every day. This isn’t good. We can’t handle a baby. We can’t do this. I can’t do this. What if I screw everything up? What if I’m not good enough? I can’t handle a baby, not now, not even in a few years. How could we be so careless?” George was still talking to himself. Hermione could see that this wasn’t going to end anytime soon. She went into their bedroom and came back with a piece of paper. George still didn’t pay her any attention. She wrote:
George! Snap out of it!
And she walked over to where he was pacing and held the sign over her head. George stumbled into her and finally noticed her. A few tears had begun to roll down her cheeks.
“Mione.” He said, wrapping his arms around her.
“I know this wasn’t planned, and I’m scared out of my mind, but I want this baby. I want this baby with you.” She whimpered out between a few tears. George felt so ashamed of the little breakdown he had just had right in front of her. Sure, it was big news to take in, but he never wanted her think he didn’t want this baby with her. And he felt so bad for putting that thought in her head. Hermione just whimpered quietly in his arms. She pulled away and looked at him with tear filled eyes.
“Do you want this? Do you want this baby, with me?” Hermione asked him, searching his eyes for the slightest bit of hope that he wanted this.
“I do. I’m so sorry, Mione. I didn’t mean to say all of that out loud. I want this baby. And most importantly, I want this baby with you. This is going to be a big adjustment, but somehow it’ll work, right?” George did his best to not let his voice shake with nervousness and fear. He did want this baby; he was just scared that they wouldn’t be able to handle it. They both had gotten so much better and he was afraid to watch them crash all over again. But he sucked it up, and did his best to hold it together for her and for them. Hermione was smiling a bit now.
“We’re in this together.” Hermione spoke promisingly.
“Always.” George affirmed. He placed his hand over her stomach. This was their baby. Something they had made together. It was a piece of him and her, forever meshed together. This baby was theirs. And then, a warm feeling of excitement took place of the fear in George. They could do this, he hoped. They had love. And love would always see them through. Now all they had to do was tell the rest of the Weasleys.
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