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How To Win Over A Witch by iheartyou
Chapter 2 : Rule #2-Be Unbelievable and Then Ignorant
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As told by none other than James Sirius Potter.

Of course.


So perhaps, nerd, your “interaction” may have gone a bit better than mine had with your said muggleborn. But, this is Nina Clover we are talking about.

Just in case you, my little nerd student, are reading this far into the future where I am famous for this guide, I shall give you a brief description of this…ahem, simply wondrous gal.

Nina Clover-

·         MENTAL

·         ANNOYING

·         A distraction…?

·         Mouthy

·         Doesn’t have a care in the world about the fact that she’s a girl (I mean, who wears baggy clothes on a perfect curvy body?? Not…that…I’d know that or anything…)

·         She’s too smart.

·         Or maybe that’s a good thing?

·         She wears glasses.

·         No wait, she doesn’t wear glasses. Isabelle does. When she reads. Hmm.

·         Does she even have poor eyesight?

·         She can’t fly. She also won’t.

·         She’s actually pretty strong. She punched me in the nose in our third year. Aunt Hermione laughed like crazy at this when I told her, saying she did the same thing with someone else in her year, who was a git.

·         Wait, does that mean I’m a git?

·         Never mind, don’t answer that. I’m James Sirius Potter. I can’t ever even be classified a git.

·         Does that mean that she thinks of me as a git?

·         Who else thinks I’m a bloody git?

·         When did this turn into me being a git?

·         Must. Stop. Saying. Git.

·         God gittin’ dammit.

·         Mum’s hair is ginger. And Nina’s is too. Apparently gandmum’s hair was ginger also, and grandad’s mum was also a ginger.

·         Dad calls it the Ginger Hair Potter Tradition. I think I’m falling in step with it, even though I vowed (at seven years old) to dad that I wouldn’t. Huh.

·         Well she has nice hair…


You get the gist of it.

Moving onto rule #2 then.

Rule #2

Do something unbelievable (in a good way, in said girl’s eyes) and then ignore her like she doesn’t exist.

I’ve seen it in films quite often. And the past few girlfriends I’ve had actually fell for it…Of course, they were blonde bimbos, and Nina was…well…not. But it shouldn’t hurt to try it, eh?


“Mister Potter?”

I snapped back to reality and looked up at Professor Binns (remind me, please, why there is a ghost teaching History of Magic? Is he that old?)

My chair was leaned back on its’ back two legs, my quill twirling around my fingers. I noticed Nina roll her eyes at my zoning out. “Yes Professor?” I asked, innocently.

He tutted, and walked (or glided?) to his desk. “Would you mind telling us the answer, Potter?”

My mind blanked out for a second. Then I looked at the board and I looked at the notes that Isabelle had (as she was sitting next to me).

I smirked and looked back up to Binns. “Of course. Godric Gryffindor and Salazar Slytherin used to be best of mates until, of course, house rivalry, I suppose it could be called, split them apart as well as the other two founders-Rowena Ravenclaw and Helga Hufflepuff, only not as badly as Gryffindor and Slytherin. The house rivalry has lived on to present day, and I believe will continue to do so whether anyone likes it or not. It’s a part of our history.”

Everyone blinked in surprise and shock. All heads were craned, facing me. Merlin. Everyone looked at me like I had three heads.

It wasn’t like that was the first actual intelligent answer I’d ever given…was it?

Binns stuttered, saying, “I-I-er…Well uh…yes, very good, Potter. Erm…ten points to Gryffindor.”

Isabelle had a slight smile on her lips as she wrote something down on her parchment. She murmured, “Well done, Potter.”

I smiled to myself, feeling quite content. More so when I notice little Nina staring at me weirdly a few seats away.

“Miss Clover!”

She snapped her head back to Binns and recited, “The diadem of Ravenclaw was created by Rowena Ravenclaw herself, and owned it until her daughter stole it and ran away into the forests where her lover, who is now the Bloody Baron found and killed her and soon after killed himself. She is now the ghost of Ravenclaw and more commonly known as The Grey Lady. The diadem was then lost until Tom Riddle, going by the name of Voldemort, coerced her into telling him where it was, to which he foolishly kept it hidden in the Room of Requirement, not fully understanding its’ ways. Years later, Harry Potter along with the assistance of Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger, now Weasley, found it and destroyed it.”

Wait, dad never told me he found any diadem in any Room of Requirement!

Hmph. Some father.


As soon as History of Magic ended, I sparked up a short conversation with Isabelle until I caught Nina’s eye, as she walked over to Isabelle. I simply stared at her and she stared back, until I smirked and took my bag, walking away.

The last thing I heard was Nina asking, “Do you think he’s acting a bit…odd?”

And Isabelle’s reply, being, “I wouldn’t know. I don’t exactly observe the lad.”

She’ll be asking to be my girlfriend in a week.

“Hey-hey Potter! Potter, wait up!”

I smirked and came to a stop. “Yes, Clover?”

“I need to ask you something.”

Hmm. Or maybe it’s in five seconds, rather than a week.

I tilted my head, as a way to tell her to tell me.

“I have to do my rounds this week with you, so I was wondering if you’ll switch your patrolling with…I dunno, maybe your cousin Molly, or Damian Wood or someone? If not, I’ll switch, I just don’t feel rather up to your insensitive arse poking around my business.”

Did I say a week? I think I meant a month.

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