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Darling (I love you) by javct
Chapter 1 : (I love you) -- it begins
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 1

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Before I start this story let me tell one important fact: I love my daughter. Nothing anyone can say will change that; she is my daughter and I will defend her to the end of my days. Still, to this day, people ask me if I could still my love my daughter after what Sarah did. Those silly people, Keturah was not responsible for her motherís actions. That said, sometimes I cannot help but look at Keturah and see Sarah.

All the court hearings and all the newspaper articles are full of it. You donít believe all that you read do you? I knew I could count on you. Iím writing to you today, not to make you feel remorseful or to make you feel bad, no, Iím writing to you to tell the true and uncensored truth about a fatherís unrequited love for his daughter and the after effects of an muggle illness called depression.

I suppose it all started when Sarah began to skip our date night. At first, I just thought that it was her forgetfulness (lord knows that Sarah could forget things) but then she missed it again and again and again. Then Keturah began to grow distant. She would no longer to come me if the next-door neighbour teased her about her red cape, instead she would go and cry in her motherís arms. Sarah never showed any interest in her daughter until that day. To Sarah, Keturah was a burden that only cost her money and time. But of course, you know all of this donít you? Why am I telling you things that you already know? Maybe closure for myself.

To the point: I came home from work one day to find the house dark and cold. Something seemed off about the house that night, but I couldnít pinpoint it for the life of me. If only I had, if only I had just followed my instincts. Things would have turned out much better. You know the story from here donít you? This is where you came in? Do you remember? You knocked on my door and, with that frantic look on your face; you told me that Sarah had run away with Keturah. Oh, how I hated her in that moment. She never cared about Keturah, why did she take her? There were a million words that I wonít utter going through my mind and there still are actually. This is where the story becomes blurry for me and Iím assured for you as well. Things happened in flashes and I swear that I moved faster in that moment that the fastest broom in the world. Neither you or I knew where Sarah had taken Keturah but we knew that we had to find her.

There was something that I never told you about Sarah, my friend. I wish that I had told you, it would have made this whole endeavor just that little bit easier so what stopped me? My need to protect the ones I loved. Sarah was depressed, majorly so and sometimes, in the middle of the night, she would wake crying and would whisper something about voices in her head telling her to do things she didnít want to do. The reason she hated Keturah so much was not because she reminded her of her mother as most people instead, instead because of her illness. That night when Sarah took Keturah away, something in her mind snapped. Still, to this day, I cannot say what was going through Sarahís mind when she did what she did but -- gosh, do I really have to say the rest? Yes, I do. Even though you were there for the whole debacle you still deserve to know the whole truth.

I will bring you back to my first statement: I love my daughter. I love Keturah Potter. With my entire mind and all my heart. And I love my wife. I love her and I always will.

It took three hours for you and I to find Sarah and Keturah. Sarah was shaking violently and Keturah was asleep on the couch, a blanket covering her small body. ďIím sorry,Ē Sarah whispered as we walked through the door. ďThe voices told me to,Ē in her hand she held her wand.

ďSarah,Ē you said, taking a daring step towards her. I could tell you were nervous because you were shaking as well, but somehow, you managed to keep your voice perfectly level. ďSarah, let the wand go please.Ē Sarah let out deep breath and dropped the wand, then, clenching her hands into balls, she pressed them to her temples and began to cry. Rushing to her side, I held her in my arms and let her cry. I knew this was it; I knew that in this moment, I had lost Sarah.

ďI'm tried to fight it James, I tried to get better,Ē Sarah sobbed. ďWhy does it hurt so much James? You said youíd take the voices away, why did you lie?Ē

ď**It's gonna hurt because it matters,**Ē I replied, running my fingers through her hair. ďYouíre fighting this. Iíve seen you the past few days and the love you have shown your daughter. Itís gonna hurt, fighting your depression is gonna hurt because it doesnít want to leave but you have to make it. Itís going to hurt my dear, but in the end, it will be worth it.Ē

This is the part that everyone knows oh so well. The aurors came and took my beautiful daughter and my lovely wife away. They knew all about Sarahís depression but they didnít care. I havenít seen Sarah since that night but I have seen Keturah. Sheís staying with her grandparents at the moment, mum and dad promised to take of her until this whole thing blows over. Weíre filing for a divorce now and Iím in the middle of a custody battle with Sarah. I know that in the end Iím going to get Keturah, with her condition Iím surprised the battle has lasted this long.

Thank you. Can I just say thank you? If it werenít for you who knows where I would be right now? Youíre amazing, you truly are. I just needed to tell you this again, not because you werenít there -- because you were -- but because I needed to make it clear to anyone that would listen: I love Keturah, I do.

Just tell my darling girl one last thing wonít you? Tell her that mummy and daddy love her. 


Author's Note: okay, this originally started out as a venting story (for two different things which coincidently happened to work together perfectly for a story) which then turned into a story which then turned into a perfect story for a perfect challenge that I just entered. I do apologise for the amount of angst in my past two stories -- this is some extent, even for me!
**: that quote is the quote from the challenge and does not belong to me, it comes from Will Grayson, Will Grayson which was written by John Green and co-written by David Levithan.

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