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Awkward Turtles by LittleMissPrincess
Chapter 3 : Dominique Weasley The wannabe Alchemist.
Rating: 15+Chapter Reviews: 2

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A/N : HELLO(: it's been forever, i know. Feel free to punch me virtually. 
Theres a language warning on this chapter fyi. 

Leave a review if you please♥ 




 “Change. Me. Back.” Albus said, hoping down the stairs, fuming. If we we’re cartoons, and not human, then smoke would be coming out of his ears. In fact, there DID appear to be smoke coming out of his ears. Oh never mind, that was just smoke coming out from Dom’s mouth.


“DOM?!” I shriek, completely catching angry Albus and blushing Jay off guard.

“What’s up my homies?” She asks.

You have to get used to her, she speaks like this on a regular basis. Even to McGonagall and her mother.

“What’s coming’s coming out of your mouth?” James asks, suspiciously.

“Smoke. James, my boy, you get dumber every time I see you.” She says to him, patting him on the shoulder, ignoring the fact that he’s older than all of us. “Which is often.”

“You said you would wait for me and Fred!” James protested, ignoring the jab.

“James Sirius Potter!”  I used his full name for effect. Smoking was not something I was going to let slide. “Dom! Why on earth we’re you smoking! You know it’s bad for you!”

As much I hate it, I can’t help but not be surprised that Dom smokes.

She’s Dominique Weasley. Something went wrong when she was being conceived.

“I'm trying to create an element. You’re looking at the youngest Alchemist in the history of the WORLD!” Dom shrieks.

“So what does that happen to do with you taking up smoking?” Albus asks, still in his feminine body.

“Um, I don’t talk to random girls in towels.” Dom says, sticking her nose in the air.

“ITS ME, ALBUS!” He yells, once again glaring at me as if it was my fault he was a girl.

Oh right, it was my fault he was a girl.

Dom took one look at him, and then tipped her imaginary hat at me and then continued talking. “To create the element that I’d like to call ROSALIQUE, after you me and rosie-“ Awh, I was touched that she decided to name an element that she can’t create after me. “- You have to put a piece of chalk the size of your forefinger into black paint and then blow over it with used nicotine and smoke and mint. Which comes from me, because I took a swing, and I’m chewing muggle breath mint gum.” She finishes explaining.

We all just look at her.

Things move a little too fast in our family.

“So? What do you think?” She asked, waiting for our responses.

“I think you’re crazier than Fred and James.” Albus said.

“I want to know it it’s edible.” James said.

“I think we should make Connor eat it.” I said.

“I'm flattered. It’s not. That would kill him.” She said, answering everyone.

“Meh, worth a try.”

“SHOOT! I left the cauldron in the common room!” Dom suddenly exclaims, rushing towards the common room.

We all follow her, trying to make sure that no first years accidently drink it. 

The common rooms a mess, it’s still done up like a battle field courtesy to Fred and James, and there’s globs of black paint and chalk powder everywhere.

And some idiot third year thought it would be funny to transfigure a bunch of radish into  teapots, and messing up terribly, leaving an unhappy 13 year olds with radishes made of blue china.

Everything else seemed normal, except for the fact that I couldn’t spot Rose anywhere, and that meant she was probably still busy with Scor upstairs.

Cue the puking noises.

We found the excuse of a cauldron. It was hot pink, with quidditch brooms on it. But strange noises we’re coming from it, gurgling sounds, like a little baby – oh wait, that was just Connor.

“Phew,” Dom was relieved. “I was so scared something would happen to it, and blow up or something.” She wipes the sweat of her forehead.

“Why would it blow up?” Connor asks, coming over to us.

“Because,” Dom reduces her voice level to a whisper, “It’s actually a potion to create a new element!” She says.

“Element?!” Connor was obviously surprised. “I thought it was SOUP!” he said.

“WHAT?!” all of us shrieked.

“Did you drink it?!” Al asked him, worried.

“I—and you are?” Connor asks Albus politely.

Albus just sighs.

“It’s me, Albus.” He says, glaring at me again.

What, don’t look at me like that! You should be proud, this is very skilled magic.

“What, but you’re – ohh.” He turns to me, and nods. “I didn’t drink it yet, but I just sent Hugo to go and get me a bowl.”

“Why would Hugo listen to you! You can’t order him around!” Dom protests.

“Yeah, only I can!”

“I’m assuming you mean me.” Fred says.

“Uh, no. Hugo listens to me, and me only. I'm his favorite cousin.” James protested.

“Are not.”

“Are too.”

“Are not.”

“Are too.”

“Are too.”

“Are not!”

“AHA! I can’t believe that worked!” Fred was elated.

“Damn it.” James snapped his fingers like some fox I’ve read about in my muggle studies textbook.

“Back to the topic, here?” Connor asked, still confused.

This wasn’t really all that surprising. Being friends with Dom does that to you. What just happened, in these past few minutes? Uhh, I changed Albus into Alberta, Dom is creating a new element and Connor almost died.

Wow, that’s pretty progressive for a Saturday morning. And its before noon!



“And that’s the story of how I died.” Connor finished his widely exaggerated story with a flourish.

The rest of the Gryffindor table just looked at him un-amused.

“I still don’t think you guys should have done that.” Rose said, clearing her voice. To those who know her well enough (like myself) I knew she was preparing herself to complain more.

“Oh come off, it Rosie.” I quickly put in, in effort to ward her off more yellings.

I don’t even know why I tried, because she dusted herself off, and stood up. “Al, I don’t think you should have turned Al into a girl.” I enjoyed the sniggers that came after this one. “Fred and James, you shouldn’t have turned the common room into a battle ground, and JAMES your still wearing your sword- you could hurt somebody!” she leaned across the table and snatched the not-so-plastic sword from James’ waist. “Dom, you know how I feel about you smoking, and you’re not an alchemist! There’s a reason they’re not walking around anymore! And Connor, you can’t just boss around my little brother like that!” She let out a breath, sitting down.

“Oh, and Con, it was stupid of you to see a cauldron and then proceed to drink it. What if you actually had? You would have died! I think I’m the only one who cares about anyone’s well being, here.” She added.

“Actually you’re the only boring one, here.” Roxanne said. Hey – yeah, she just yelled at us, but shes still my best friend, you know.

Albus – who I had grudgingly turned back into a boy again, much to his relief – was glaring daggers at his lovely cousin Rose. I suppose he didn’t like being blamed for having fun. Oh whatever, *I* had fun. He was just my guinea pig. 

Oh boy, if I know my Al, then I know he’s going to get back at Rose by mentioning something about Scorpius to the family – who don’t approve of him anyway.

Where was Scorpius, actually? Probably still in the owlery, I suppose. He usually goes up there before supper because that’s when his mother is free to owl him.

Say what you will, but Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy is a mamma’s boy.

Albus cleared his throat. That’s  what got me back to sanity again. And so I tried to tell him not to do what he was about to do by, ‘ET’ing – as he so loved to call it.

Albus met my eye and then firmly nodded his head.

I sighed.

Knowing that I couldn’t stop the bomb while it would go off, I gestured to Al, signaling him to give me one minute preparation.

He rolled his eyes, but motioned his hands to carry on.

“Rose, could I have that pudding as promised?” I asked, knowing that she sure as hell won’t give it to me after what Al was about to do.

Glad that I wasn’t gonna yell at her, she gladly handed over her pudding, and I looked back at Albus, who looked at me condescendingly, as if my preparation for doomsday wasn’t good enough.

When I had atleast one bit of pudding in my mouth, Albus spoke, “So Rose, you can yell at everyone for being stupid and immature, but I was wondering when you were going to tell Uncle Ron that you’re swapping saliva with-“ it was at this point that Scorpius himself wandered up to the table with a letter in his hand and I was yelling, “ABORT! ABORT!”

And by this time, the whole family was listening intrigued, because us Weasley’s (and Potters) are a gossipy bunch. And this family would love to get some dirt on their goody-two-shoes-Rose-Weasley.

Nice family, huh.

Albus continued, “Scorpius Malfoy.”

And all hell broke loose.




“YOU’RE CHEATING ON ALBUS?!” that last one was dearest Freddie Weasley and directed to the man being charged.

I glanced at Rose through this magic and mayhem, and saw that she had her face in between her hands and Dominique, Lucy, Roxanne, Lily, Hugo and Molly were all attacking her and demanding why she didn’t tell them earlier.

Really Hugo? Really?

The rest of the Alpha males were beating Scorpius to a pulp – minus Al who was sitting back and watching the mess he had created.

It’s no wonder that no teacher came up to stop us because at the Gryffie’s table – anything can happen.





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