Chapter 3 : Dragon Dung Days
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“Did anyone ever tell you that you’re obsession with school isn’t healthy?”
I glared up at Malfoy with as much annoyance as I could muster. This was only ten minutes into our second tutoring session and I was ready to blow my brains out. Quite literally, mind you. If anyone has a gun speak up now. Either that or a large amount of sleeping pills. I’m not picky.
“I don’t have an obsession with school, I just like doing well.” I responded stiffly, deciding not to voice my inner suicidal thoughts.
“Exactly my point,” He sighed and shook his head. “You’re helpless, Weasley.”
I finished the problem we were doing with a very large ink stain from where I had slammed the quill down too hard. I couldn’t help but wonder what he was if I was the helpless one. I should be getting paid by the minute for doing this.
“Can we please focus?” I asked in a downright begging voice. I don’t normally beg, but these tutor sessions were turning into a living nightmare. I could have been doing plenty of other important things right now, like my Potions homework for instance. It was due tomorrow and I hadn’t even gotten halfway through it. Instead I was teaching idiot Malfoy something his puny brain would never have the attention span to process.
“Fine,” He sighed and looked down at the sheet where I had laid out an example problem. “Why do we move up four here?”
“Because the rule says so.” I pointed to the textbook where I had open to Locktous’s Rule. “See here, every time the second combination adds to four you move up four to make the third.”
“But who’s Locktous?”
I placed my quill down as delicately as I could. “An Arithmancy expert from the sixteen hundreds.”
“So why does he get to make all of this up?”
“He didn’t make it up!” I sighed, exasperated. I was on the verge of officially losing it. “It’s scientifically proven under the Magical Federation of Arithmetical Laws and Equations!”
Instead of pressing further Malfoy just smirked at me. I glared, wondering what I had done this time to get laughed at.
“Did you know your cheeks get red when you get angry?”
I was slightly taken aback so I shut my mouth. I could feel my cheeks getting even redder now that I was conscious of it. Curse my Weasley genes of blushing. I looked away from where he was staring at me with is potentially (but not acknowledged) handsome face and shuffled my notes. “Can we get back on topic please?”
“If I knew what the hell we were talking about…” He trailed off, the surly look reappearing on his face. He tapped my quill on the table in a bored fashion. I couldn’t help but think that his hair really wasn’t that ugly. Sure, he used a lot of gel, but it suited him nicely. Not that I was looking, I was just studying what I had to work with. That was all!
“It’s Locktous’s rule. We’re moving up four because that’s what the rule says. And next you’ll divide by seven and that gives you the answer.”
My voice sounded like a monotonous teacher. I could now understand why teachers were so bored during their lessons. It was kids such as Scorpius Malfoy that drove them to this level of lack of interest.
“If I just pretend to understand will you move on?”
And that, my friends, was the chocolate sauce on top of the ice cream sundae. At this point I would be much happier tutoring a blast ended screwt. Anyone—anything—but him.
Okay, so maybe I’m being a bit over the top here, but hey; if anyone deserved the right to complain it was me.
“Hello Rosie,” My stomach deadpanned as Dominique slid onto the chair between Malfoy and I. “I need a favor.”
I was surprised that I didn’t feint from shock. This was the second time in a week that Dominique had dared to enter the library. It was monumental, people. Thinks like this don’t just happen all the time. In Dom’s world, the library wasn’t supposed to even exist. That place on Al and James Potter’s map that said library to all other eyes was meant to be a black hole for Dominique. I sighed and turned to eye Malfoy. He was staring at her with an unreadable expression. I doubted he minded a little distraction, in fact, I bet he was happy about it. “Okay,” I met Dom’s bright blue eyes instead. “What do you need?”
“A pet dragon.” She said in the most somber voice. There was no hint of sarcasm, no laughter being held back. She was dead serious. Oh Merlin.
I must say, I’m starting to think that my life is in need of some serious contemplation. The fact that I was not the least bit shocked by this statement scared me. What has become normal in my life should not be considered normal.
“Why?” I asked her carefully. If I asked too many questions early on she may think I approve.
“Because, Uncle Charlie let me pet one when we went and visited him in Romania this summer, and I grew rather fond of it.” She plopped her feet up on the table and leaned her head back. “They have really pretty eyes, Rose. I can’t wait to buy some fireproof mascara for it!”
“Dom, I don’t think you’re being very reasonable…” I trailed off, noticing the look in her eyes. The last thing I wanted was for her to blow up again here. Pince was finally back on speaking terms with me.
“Coming from the girl who wears crocks!” She shot back defensively. “Honestly, they’re the least reasonable shoes on the earth! They’re ugly, they smell like plastic, hurt your feet, and they have holes in them!”
“What does that have anything to do with you wanting a pet dragon?” I asked, seriously confused now. “And I don’t wear crocks!” I could feel my cheeks flushing again. “That was one time!”
“It was all last summer and don’t you deny it!” She had stood up and was pointing in an accusing manner. You’d think I’d said something terrible. After a moment of confused silence she sighed dramatically and started talking again. “Anyways, if you could help me research how to steal a dragon and transport it to Hogwarts without getting caught, it would be greatly appreciated. If I have to do this on my own I’ll probably go to drastic measures—maybe even get James to help me…”
And with that she knew she’d done it. There was no way in hell that I was going to let her even talk to James about buying a dragon. Once an idea was planted in James’s mind, it didn’t leave until it was fulfilled. The two of them would most likely pick out the deadliest dragon possible and accidentally set it loose on the school. Then when they were caught and expelled for third degree murder, neither of them would understand why it was they were in trouble. And as for the dragon, it would probably be killed by the Ministry. Then Dominique would go into a state of depression mourning her deadly pet and blame me for the whole ordeal. James would feel like a failure and most likely drop off the face of the planet for a good three to seven years. I’d be left to clean up the mess, of course.
“I’ll, er, research for you.” I finally managed to say. It was what she wanted to hear. She flashed me her white toothy smile and waved goodbye.
“See you at dinner! Don’t study to death!”
I shook my head and turned to Malfoy. He looked torn between bewilderment and amusement. For once, I couldn’t blame the bloke for his facial expression. First interactions with Dominique usually left a person unsure of what to say.
“Sorry about her,” I shuffled my notes again and tried to remember what it was we were doing. “She’s kind of impulsive. And a little insane, but she means well.”
“A little insane?” He looked towards the doors where Dom had just exited and shook his head. “Why would you help her get a pet dragon? I thought you were smart. Someone like her would kill us all with a dragon.”
“I am smart!” I said indignantly. “You don’t understand; saying yes is a lot easier than saying no.”
He just raised one eyebrow and stared at me. He didn’t understand my logic, surprise surprise. It’s not like I actually planned on helping her get a dragon. I would just tell her this and wait for her to move on to the next thing she wanted. It wouldn’t take long because she’s not the type of person to get caught up on something that requires actual work in getting. Maybe a week or two, and then she would completely forget about it. I had done this before plenty of times. I knew what I was doing.
“Right…” Scorpius trailed off and looked at the watch on my wrist. “Well, we’ve been at this for forty five minutes and I’m sufficiently confused. I think I’ll go to dinner now.”
I guess that was his way of saying goodbye, because before I could respond his bag was over his shoulder and he was on his way out. I muttered a few words under my breath before standing up as well and piling my stuff together. Everyone was in the Great Hall, so the library was rather empty. Part of me wanted to wait until later to eat and bask in the silence, but I was hungry. And hunger trumps serenity any day of the week.
The hallways were quiet besides the occasional portraits talking to one another. I liked Hogwarts when it was empty. It was almost like a completely different school. Everything seemed so much bigger without all of the students screaming and running through.
But the silence never lasts for long.
I turned around slightly annoyed at the usage of the nickname Grandad Weasley had christened me with back when I was a toddler. Fred found this utterly hilarious and still called me it to this day. To him, I wasn’t Rose; I wasn’t Rosie; I was Rosie-Posie. It wasn’t just the terrible word combination that drove me crazy either. It was the way he said it. Every time Fred said my name it was like he was introducing the Minister of Magic onto a talk show. Either that or I was a girly, frilly, straight up debutante. I think it’s a combo.
I stopped as Fred, James, and their friend Anthony Wood made their way towards me. The three of them were always together, no exceptions. Over the years, they had managed to cause a great deal of troublemaking. I seemed to be the only one in the Potter-Weasley extended family who wasn’t amused by it. Sure, it was funny when they set fire to the fourth floor corridor—for like two seconds. After that it was just annoying. Classes were cancelled all afternoon, and I needed to talk to Professor Flitwick desperately about my upcoming Charms final. Then there was the time that they charmed the Suits of Armor to dance and sing techno music for thirty six hours straight. Everyone found that oh so hilarious, but I was forced down into the dungeons which the only place you couldn’t hear them with an earsplitting headache.
It’s a wonder I’m not going prematurely grey.
“Hello.” I said solemnly as they finally caught up to me. For in shape sport blokes they were awfully slow walkers.
“What’s up? Anything new in Rosieposie’s life? Any new juicy news?” Fred grinned and threw his arm around me. When I attempted to shrug him off he just held on tighter.
“Just off to dinner…” I trailed off as he began to hum a nursery rhyme.
“What a coincidence!” James said enthusiastically. “So are we!”
“I figured.” I shook my head. James alone was an idiot, but with Fred and Anthony with him he was a dangerous idiot. There was a big difference.
“How do you fit so many books in your bag?” Anthony asked me as he eyed the bag on my shoulder with absolute horror.
“Magic?” I said cautiously, not knowing if he was going to understand or not. Ant was a great guy, and possibly the smartest one out of the three nitwits, but that didn’t make him a genius. In fact, I’d still put his IQ below average if I had to make a guess.
“Roseposie, you need to stop studying too much.” Fred said, finally letting go of my body and patronizing me instead. “Sooner or later your brain—and your bag—are going to explode from all the shit you have piled up in it.”
“It’s true.” James said In a grave voice. I could see the light from the Great Hall not that far ahead of me—praise the lord. “We saw it on Oprah.”
And there you have it Hogwarts. James Potter and Fred Weasley are probably the only straight young men in the world who would openly admit to watching reruns of Oprah.
“And I heard somewhere that your brain can shut down if you shove too much information in it. BAM!” He stopped to clap his hands for what I believe to be emphasis. Instead it just caused me to have a mild heart attack. “Just like that. You really should invest in a pensive.” Fred patted his tummy weirdly. “That way you won’t turn into a vegetable. Who would help me with my Defense Against the Dark Arts papers if you were mentally gone?!”
He looked so concerned. It’s nice to know that they care, really it is.
“Oh look!” I said happily. “We’re here!”
“Eat well Rose!” James said with a rather painful pat on my shoulder.
“If you don’t watch out, you’ll turn out like Gildroy Lockhart!” Fred shouted way too loudly as they sat on the other end of the table. How that made sense I didn’t know. I just shook my head and sat next to Florie and Albus, ignoring the stares of those who had overheard as much as I could.
“Rose, you look tired.” Florie said happily. I grumbled some words and began to pile as much food as I could onto my plate. Dominique eyed me with a look of disgust.
“If you don’t watch out Rose you’re going to turn into a whale.” She said conversationally as she took a bite of her salad. Instead of responding I just shoveled a forkful of potato into my mouth.
“Your brother’s insane.” I told Albus once I had swallowed. He grinned at me broadly.
“Oh Rose, you’ve just realized?”
I shook my head and continued to eat. I had to remind myself that Al was just as insane as James was. I don’t know where Aunt Ginny and Uncle Harry went wrong with those boys. Lily had turned out decent, but even she was a little spacey from time to time. Come to think of it, my entire family was spacey more times than not. Mother and I seemed to be the only ones with a chance in this world with the last name of Weasley, but she talked to the cat more than people nowadays. And perhaps Uncle Percy, but he was almost too studious. Back during the war he cared about his job so much that he dissed the whole family to keep it. Even I would never do that.
“Rose and I are adopting a dragon!” Dom squealed. I groaned. I had managed to forget about that for a few moments back there.
“A dragon?” Florie asked skeptically. “That’s crazy.”
“No it’s not!” Dom shouted defensively. “It’s very possible, thank you very much! Anything’s possible if I have Rose to help me!”
I smiled weakly at Dom. That was her version of a complement, but I didn’t want her getting ahead of herself with this whole adopting a dragon thing. At least I had Florie to back me up and hopefully shield me if she started to throw a temper tantrum about it. Dominique didn’t like being told no. That’s why I was hoping she’d move on from it sometime soon. The sooner the better.
“Where are you going to keep it?” Albus asked. I tried to make warning faces at him across the table but he wouldn’t meet my eyes. I didn’t need him fueling the idea, in fact, that was the worst thing he could do. Dom stared off for a moment, obviously thinking, and then responded.
I was thinking our Dormitory, actually.”
“No,” Florie shook her head quickly. “There is no way that I’m sleeping with a fire breathing dragon right next to me.”
“It’s coming to Hogwarts, Florence.” Dom snapped. Florie cringed at the usage of her real name. “And it’s not going to be next to you, it’ll sleep in my bed!”
“Your bed is made of wood, Dom. Besides, you can’t even take care of yourself, what makes you think you can mother a baby dragon?”
“I’m very motherly, damnit!” She slammed her fork down and pushed away her bowl of salad. “God, why is everyone so against giving me some responsibility every once in a while?”
Well, I said to myself, maybe because the last pet you took care of drowned in the bathtub? Poor Mr. Squeaker, it had been Louis’s pet rat. Over the summer Dom had been given the job of taking care of him while Louis went to his friend’s house for the week. Normally when someone asks you to take care of their pet, it means that you feed it once a day, replenish the water, and maybe change the cage if you’re feeling generous. But not Dom. No, she took the whole thing to a new level. She attempted to bathe Mr. Squeaker, and when he didn’t come up from under all of the lavender scented bubbles, she flooed over to my house desperately crying about how we needed to go and buy a new rat that resembled Mr. Squeaker. Poor Louis never found out, instead he thinks the new rat we replaced Mr. Squeaker with is the same one he loved and cared for his whole life.
I swear she means well.
“Dom, there’s a difference between a cat and a dragon!” Florie exclaimed. Instead of siding with either of them I carefully stared at my plate.
“Well I think it’s a grand idea to get a dragon!” Albus added in even though no one cared what he thought. “Have any names picked out?”
“Albus!” Florie and I hissed at the same time.
“I vote for Alby Jr!” He ignored us and bent in to converse with Dom.
“I will not name my baby girl dragon Alby!” Dom gave a reproachful look. “I was thinking Muffins or Delilah.”
“Muffins the dragon?” I asked in a bemused voice.
“See, Rose thinks it’s brilliant!”
I didn’t have it in me to explain how utterly un-brilliant I found Muffins to be. And Delilah wasn’t much better. I turned to Florie to see how I could stop the upcoming catastrophe that we would both be drug into sooner or later, but she wasn’t paying attention anymore. Instead she was scanning her eyes over at the Ravenclaw table.
I ate some more food, telling myself that it shouldn’t annoy me. I liked Steve, I really did. It was just nothing had been the same ever since the two of them had started to go out. Two years ago Florie, Dominique, and I were always together. We were the epitome of tres amigas, or at least that’s what Albus would call us. Once Steve came around Florie and Dom started fighting more, leaving me in the middle of it. Sooner or later Florie kind of stopped hanging out with us as much as she used to. She was always with Steve. She still was always with Steve, which drove Dominique mad. It bothered me too, to be honest, but I had gotten used to it. We saw Florie during classes and at meals if she wasn’t with Steve, but other than that she wasn’t around unless he was there too.
“Rose,” Florie looked to me. “Want to visit Stevey with me?”
I contemplated it for a moment, looking over to where Dominique and Albus were talking excitedly about building a titanium dragon jungle gym out by the pumpkin patch. I nodded with a shake of my head and got up to follow her.
He was sitting with two other Ravenclaw seventh years I wasn’t sure the names of. They were the Newbury twins, but they were identical. I had tried to remember before but given up long ago. When you dressed in a school uniform and you were in the same house as someone who matched your exact DNA, you shouldn’t expect people to remember who is who.
“Hi baby!” Florie squealed as we sat down. She threw her arms around Steve and kissed his cheek. You’d think she hadn’t seen him in a month, not twenty minutes. “Dominique wants to steal a dragon from somewhere in Albania.”
“Romania.” I corrected her, but I’m not sure if she heard me. She was too busy giggling at something Steve had said.
Part of the reason Florie and Dominique fought all of the time now was because Steve didn’t like her. I didn't really blame him. He was possibly the most practical person I knew, and Dom was definitely the most impractical person I knew. Although Florie was still the same person I met on the train way back in first year, parts of her had changed. She tried to be more serious now because of him.
“Hey Rose,” Steve said with a smile. “How’s Vector’s class treating you?”
“Good! You were right, post-OWL Arithmancy is a lot more challenging. But the problems are way more insightful.” I unleashed my inner geek, but that was okay because Steve was possibly just as nerdy as I was. Florie couldn’t understand why he would set time aside to study for an exam days before he had to take it, but I did. I totally should have been put into Ravenclaw. They understand me here.
“Just wait until you take it next year, it’s a lot more focused on personal aspects of the past that will affect the patterns in the future.”
“Oh you two…” Florie trailed off with a shake of her head. “You take Arithmancy, don’t you Olson?” She asked the Newbury twin to the left of Steve. How she could tell the difference I would never know. I looked over to who must have been Olson to see him smiling at me a in a semi creepy way. For some unknown reason Florie had been trying to get me together with one of the Newbury twins for months now. No matter how much I told her I wasn’t interested, she just kept on going.
“We should study together sometime.” He said, creeper smile still present on his face.
“That’s—er—nice.” I said in a squeaky voice. “I think I’ll go to the Owlrey now.”
“I’ll go with you!” The other Newbury, I think Oscar, jumped out of his seat enthusiastically. I heaved a sigh and glared at Florie before I nodded. I should have just stayed with Dragon expecting mum Dominique and her sidekick Al. With my head in the plans we should be able to get a better name than Alby jr, Delilah, or Muffins. Florie doesn’t pay anyone attention when Steve’s around.
I never had quite understood how they worked in a relationship. Florie had always struggled to do well in school, where Steve was naturally brilliant. She was beautiful, with long black hair and olive skin, and he was skinny with glasses. As much as I tried, I couldn’t fathom how the two of them were so crazy about each other. I’d bet a thousand galleons that they will get married before we’re all twenty.
“What are you doing for Hogsmeade?” Oscar asked me as we awkwardly walked in the direction of the Owlrey. My stomach deadpanned. Why? Oh why hadn’t I said I felt violently and contagiously ill? I don’t even have to send a bloody letter!
“Oh, you know…” I trailed off, praying for sudden inspiration to strike me. No such luck. “Probably wander around the town. I need a new quill.”
This wasn’t a complete lie; actually, it wasn’t a lie at all. Malfoy had ruffled the feather on my spare quill to the point of no return.
“I love new quills.” Oscar sounded way to enthusiastic for a conversation based around something dipped in ink.
“Since we both like quills, want to go together?”
I could feel my cheeks getting redder and redder. The Owlrey was still ages away. What would give you the incentive to ask me, Rose Weasley, the school’s most awkward person to Hogsmeade?
“Oh, I can’t I think I’m busy.” I stared at a portrait of a few knights up ahead, refusing to meet his eyes.
“But you said you were just going to wander around. I could do that too, you know.”
How could a Ravenclaw be so thick?
“Listen,” I paused. My face must resemble a tomato. “You seem—erm—great. But I actually—”
“Weasley!” I spun around and tilted my head to the side, making sure I was seeing things right. Scorpius Malfoy was walking briskly up the hallway in my direction. He had yet to even acknowledge me in the hallways, why start now? “There you are. I’ve been looking all over for you. Your brother’s in the hospital wing!”
“The hospital wing.” I stated, unsure of what was happening still.
“Yes, excuse us Olson.”
“It’s Oscar, actually!” He gave Malfoy an affronted look that clearly showed his dislike. Then he turned to me and flashed a smile. “I’ll escort you there Rose, no worries.”
“Hugo’s in the hospital wing?!” I heard my voice take a high tone. I had finally processed what Malfoy had said. Oh no, what had he done now? Mum had always said Hugo took after our father when it came to getting into trouble, and I couldn’t help but agree with her. Like my dad, he often refused to seek medical help until it was almost too late to be fixed. He was on a first name basis with most of the healers in St. Mungos, for merlin’s sake! My stomach churned as I began to walk briskly in the direction of the Hospital Wing.
“Rose, I’d gladly—”
“Not now, Oscar!” I stated shrilly as I left him behind looking hurt. I didn’t have the time to worry about his feelings right now. Hugo was in the hospital wing which probably meant he was severely hurt. I wondered if he had tried to ride the Whomping Willow branches again. Hugo was the kind of person to slip a deadly potion into your pumpkin juice and then claim that he “lost the antidote”. His home changed in between the headmistress’s office, the forbidden forest, and the Quidditch pitch. Needless to say, we weren’t the closest of siblings. But that didn’t mean I wanted him paralyzed for life.
It was sad really, I was out of breath from speed walking. Beside me Malfoy was laughing his arse off as he tried to keep up with my quick pace. I stopped quickly and turned to him. “Stop it! This isn’t funny!”
“It’s actually hysterical.”
I clenched my fists. “You are possibly the most inhuman person I have ever met! My little brother is hurt and you find it funny? How egotistical are you?!”
“Merlin, calm down Weasley.” The smile had disappeared from his face and instead he was giving me a reproachful look. “It was only a joke. Howard isn’t in the hospital wing; I was trying to get you out of that situation back there.”
I unclenched my fists and opened my mouth to just shut it all over again. It was a joke? A joke? Did he not know based off of the little conversation we had had that I didn’t do sarcasm? I didn’t understand the difference between humor and logistics?
“You can say thank you now.”
Instead I lunged for his chest. He dodged me quickly with a smirk at my poor aim. “You scared the shit out of me!” I shouted at him. “And his name’s Hugo, not Howard!”
Malfoy just rolled his eyes in a way that showed he couldn’t care less about the name switch up. Instead he changed the subject. “You have quite the admirer, he’s a good catch Weasley.”
I blushed and folded my arms across my chest. “Shut up.”
That’s me, Rose Weasley, queen of sassy comebacks.
“Just wear your crocks and you’ll be all set.” He laughed a little at that one before starting again. “Am I not even going to get a little gratitude? If I hadn’t come along and heard you’re pitiful conversation you’d still be awkwardly declining.”
“I would have been fine, actually!” I hissed haughtily. “I can take care of myself!”
Instead of responding he rolled his eyes again and began to strut (because Malfoy can’t seem to just walk) down the corridor in the direction of the Slytherin common room. There was no goodbye, no “sorry for scaring the living bejesus out of you”, just a brief wave in my direction without even looking back.
Oh, he thought he was just so cool.
So a bit of a longer chapter, and an okay time for an update! This is a bit jumpy, I appologize for that! I just wanted to introduce people, such as Fred and the creepy Olson twins. How do you feel about Dominique adopting a dragon? Personally, my favorite name would be Delilah. Delilah's are flowers which are supposed to be peaceful, which a dragon totally isn't. It's such an awsome ironic dragon name. But anyways...
Thanks for reading, and please review! Also, if anyone would be interested in making me an awsome banner for another story of mine I'd greatly appreciate it! I don't have it posted as of now, but if you would want to just tell me! Love,
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