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Teases, Winks, and A Whole Lot of Love by iheartyou
Chapter 2 : The Insufferable Arse
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 3

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jaw-dropping chapter image by aphrodite @ TDA!

Maggie Patil






Chapter 2

Sometimes, I want to punch a wall. Other times I want to punch Marcus Parkinson. Today, however, I want to punch Roxanne Weasley.

“It was only a harmless prank!” She squealed, running away from me.

“Harmless prank? Harmless prank! You told everyone that I had a bloody crush on James Potter!”


Eurgh. I was so going to kill her. Unfortunately, I crashed into James Potter himself, while trying to do so. “Aw, hell, Potter, can’t you bloody move? I’m trying to kill Roxanne!”

He lifted a brow. I groaned and stood up, holding a hand out for him to take, which he did. “And no, Potter, Roxanne was ‘playing a harmless prank’ as she put it. I do not, in any way whatsoever, have any feelings for you.”

I already knew that. Nick, McLaggen, Fred, Lily, Al, Scorpius and the rest of the school, however, didn’t. Besides Rose, I think.”

“Well this is just dandy,” I grumbled. God, I am so whiney.

He stepped aside. “By all means, go ahead. Even I’m getting some nasty looks around here because of what she said.”

I froze immediately. “What are you talking about, Potter?”

He rolled his eyes. “Fred, Nick, and McLaggen aren’t happy about it. Neither are a couple of Ravenclaws, and a few Hufflepuffs. And a handful of Gryffindors, too…” he mused.

Whatever. I didn’t have time for this crap.


“Chill,” Rose shoved me backward. “By this weekend, everyone will have forgotten it. They’re already forgetting about it. Everyone’s mind is on the match between Gryffindor and Slytherin.”

Right. That. That match. The one where everyone was going to die. Literally. Thanks, Rose, thanks so much for reminding me of it. I totally love you too.

“Oh,” she pouted. “I said the wrong thing again, didn’t I?”

“Hey, Mags, James is going crazy trying to find you,” Albus informed me, making his way through the corridor. “He’s holding a meeting right now.”

My eyes widened. “Oh shizzles! I gotta go! Bye Rose, bye Al!”

“Bye,” they both chorused together, looking highly amused.

I ran off to the broomshed out behind the stands. “Ohmygosh, Potter, I’m so sorry, it completely slipped my mind and I-”

“Glad to see you here in one piece too, Patil,” he rolled his eyes. “Alright team! The game against Slytherin is tomorrow, and we’ve all got to honestly try not to be smashed with a bludger.” He shot a look at me as he said, “Abby,” cue the eyes back on her. “You are not to catch the snitch until we’re ahead by at least 130 points. It’s crucial if we want the Quidditch Cup, since Slytherin beat Ravenclaw terribly three weeks ago. Got it?”

“You just called her Abby,” Fred stated, surprised.

“Yes, well,” James scrunched his face. “Someone told me I need to start calling people who aren’t family or best friends by something other than their last names.”

I couldn’t stop the corners of my lips from going up in a smirk. Ah, the effect I had on people was simply outstanding sometimes.

“Moving along now,” he mumbled. “Fred, Nick, I’m going to need you guys to make sure that the chasers don’t get hit by bludgers. Can you handle that?”

“Yes,” and “Of course,” were their answers.

“Lily, McLaggen, you two and I need to stick to the plays. If you can shoot without passing, go for it, but don’t take too many risks.”

They both nodded and mumbled agrees.

“And you, Green,” he turned to face me. “Focus on where the shooter’s weight is on their broom. Just like I taught you, okay? No doubt, they’ll by trying to feint a lot.”

“Excuse me, what did you just call me?” I asked him.

He smirked, holding up his broom. “You’re the one who said to call people by something other than their last names. There you have it, Green.”

My mouth hung open as he left the broomshed, waiting for the rest of us to follow along.

Damn you, James Potter.


“Rose,” I sighed, in the Great Hall that evening. “Can I ask you something?”

She swallowed and nodded her head. “How are you so pretty and so skinny without ever trying to be?”

She blinked, like in surprise blink. “You think you’re not pretty? Maggie, you are so beautiful! And you’re perfect, the way you are. You’re not overweight.”

I hung my head down, sadly. “I am too overweight. I hate it.”

“You’re not.”

“Then how come the only two boys at Hogwarts who I liked, rejected me?” I asked her, turning on my side to face her.

She rolled her eyes. “They were idiots, that’s why. Nate Peterson and Ken Longbottem, right? Downright arses, they are, that’s all.”

I shrugged my shoulders helplessly and stared at the plate of food I had. Glumly, I shoved it away, and grabbed a carrot, nibbling on it.

“What’s wrong with her?” Fred mumbled to Rose, not so quietly.

She glared at him. “You’re being insensitive! Go talk to James.”

Although Rose was in Ravenclaw, she tended to eat meals with us. All of the Wotters did, actually. Plus Scorpius. Al and Scorp were both in Slytherin, something that had devastated Al at the beginning. Roxanne was with Rose in Ravenclaw. I think they’re all just extremely happy that not one of them got put into Hufflepuff…not…that I have like…anything against Hufflepuff.

“Maggie, please, just eat,” Rose practically begged. “Maggie Patil, you are not overweight!” she hissed in my ear.

I still slightly pouted. Setting the carrot down, I stood up, mumbling about going to bed early and made my way out. The last thing I heard from there was James, proudly saying, “That’s my starling, resting for the big match! Gotta love Green.”



“God, you’re such a bitch,” Alicia Montgomery scoffed. So…yeah, I had to share a room with this simply pleasant being. It wasn’t really pretty.

“Thank you for telling me that,” I quietly said.

“Whore,” she spat. “Thinking someone of the likes of you could ever woo James Potter? Get a life, you fat, ugly, disgusting, piece of crap.”

I bit my lip before saying in a shaky voice, “I’m sorry if it came out that way.”

I turned over so I didn’t have to face her insults again, just when Abby and a few other girls who shared the room with us came in, laughing about some thing or another.

I sighed, and faced away from everyone, the hot tears falling. With every tear that left, my eyes dragged and I got more tired. Eventually, the tears dried on my face, as I fell asleep.


Dear mum,

                School’s been alright so far. Lily goes on giving me advice, I don’t know how she’s smarter than I am! It’s very fun here. Anyways, the Gryffindor vs. Slytherin match is to start in about five hours. James (that bloody pig headed arse) wants to have a short practice in two hours to keep our reflexes sharp or something like that. Oh, and tell aunt Padma that she can have my ipod if one of the Slytherin’s kill me today. They’re really out to get us.

I’m only joking, mum, we won’t die. Get seriously injured, yeah, but we’re not going to die. James would take a hundred bludgers but he’d never let his team die and jeopardize the Quidditch Cup.

Sorry, I need to stop joking about these things. Anyways, miss you tons. I’ve got to go. Got to eat breakfast and fuel up. I’ll write again later.

Love you, mum

Love, Maggie

P.S. I still don’t like my name. It sounds so weird. Maggie Patil. No. Just…no. When I have a baby girl of my own, I’m going to make her name sound much better than ‘Maggie Patil’. But…then again, her last name wouldn’t be Patil, now would it? Preferably something…meh…I don’t know…that starts with an M or an S or an N. You know?


“Alright, team, fuel up!” James ordered. It was a team tradition to sit altogether on match days at breakfast, and not with our friends at the table.

Everyone began shoveling food into their mouths, but me. I hummed as I looked over the options. Everything was too fattening. It was butter or oily or greasy or chocolate or whatever. I took the small baked potato and peeled off its skin with my long nails, scraping my teeth into it as I ate it.

James and Fred both gave me the oddest looks in the world. “What’s up with you?” Fred asked. “You didn’t even eat dinner last night. You’ve got to be starving!”

I shrugged, not saying one word. Then I shook my head, and kept nibbling on the potato. I finished it, but my stomach churned. I was so hungry. So I just took a handful of grapes and popped them into my mouth one by one.

Fred looked very frustrated, and Potter simply raised a brow at me. “What?” I asked them. “Can’t a girl eat healthy?”

“Not when it’s the day of the match. You’re going to be burning up so many calories, today, Green,” James lectured. “You’ll be skinny as a toothpick!”

Just like you I thought in my mind. I didn’t mean it in a bad way. I wanted to be like James. I wanted to have Lily’s small face and Rose’s thin, thin legs, and Roxanne’s flat stomach, and Dominique’s small ears, and Molly’s small A-Cup breasts.

I bit my lip and shoved my plate full of uneaten grapes away, and stood up with my broom in hand, leaving the Great Hall.

Today would be the day that Gryffindor beat Slytherin. I’d make sure of it.


Meanwhile, back in the Great Hall, James Potter had a look of absolute cluelessness. “Was it something I said?” he stupidly asked.

Rose smacked him head. “You complete and utter tart! How,” smack. “Dare!” Smack. “You!” Smack.

“Would you quit hitting me, Rose?!” James shouted, covering his head from Rose’s blows.

“She’s been acting so off lately. What the hell is up with her?” Fred mumbled out loud. “Rose, you know, don’t you?”

She shot him a dark look. “Yes, and you’re not going to find out. It’s her business and…” she trailed off. “Oh my god, I think I’ve just figured something out!” Rose clapped to herself, smiling widely, running out the doors of the Great Hall as well.

Lily looked up from her pancakes. “Well it’s obvious, isn’t it?”

James and Fred looked confused, eyeing each other, and then at Lily, who rolled her eyes. “She thinks she’s fat. Duh.”

The two boys blinked in confusion. “What are you talking about?” Fred asked.

“Please. McLaggen’s dying for her, and she thinks she’s fat? What a joke!” James scoffed.

Lily smacked him. “You insensitive fucking arse!”

James hung his mouth wide open in shock as Lily left the Hall as well, chasing after Maggie and Rose.

“Sorry to say, mate, but you deserved that,” Roxanne nodded her head to him. “You are an insensitive arse. You never notice how girls sometimes feel. All that talk about being skinny after the match must’ve made her think she could burn it all up by not eating and training more.”

“If she ends up in the Hospital Wing after today, I’m holding you responsible, James,” Dominique coldly stated.

James gaped at her. “But you know she is! We all are! It’s Slytherin, for Merlin’s sake!”

Fred gave him a sympathetic look. “What is with all the women ganging up on me today?” James muttered, angrily.

“I hear ya’ mate,” Fred patted his shoulder. “It’s just not your lucky day.”

James groaned, hitting his head against the table. “Please don’t say that. Today, of all days, is when I need the most luck I’ve ever needed.”

“Maybe karma will be better to you if you apologize to Maggie!” Fred perked up, thoughtful of his logic.

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