Chapter 20 : Scream
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I thought that Sirius would get over it, I mean it wasn’t as if it was a big thing. But apparently Matheus and I being friends again meant a huge deal to him. It was such a big thing that for the last few weeks he just hasn’t been the same towards me and it’s so frustrating. I just want it to go back to how it was. I mean, we were so close to getting together after everything that’s happened. I just wanted him to ask me out and now this has gotten in the way. Something always gets in the way, it’s ridiculous. Yes, I’m talking to you Merlin, you have messed this up for me. Why am I destined for crap.
When I expressed this to Lily in the dorm after dinner one night she decided to go crazy with the revision. The conversation went something like this.
“Lils, Sirius isn’t talking to me much.”
“Well, why are you friends with Matheus then?” Wow, supportive best friend, anyone jealous yet?
“I haven’t even spoken to him since that night bloody hell, people are acting as if I’ve announced to the world that he’s my best friend.”
“Well, that wouldn’t have happened because I’m your best friend...”
“So what do I do? I want it to be normal again with me and Sirius.”
“Ok Jem, I’ve got it! You listening?”
“You go up to him, right,” I could hear this was going to be sarcastic from her expression. “And you talk to him! Oh wow, that was genius.”
“Fuck off Lily, this isn’t a joke. He won’t speak to me properly even when I try and speak to him.”
“He’s just confused as to why you would be friends with Matheus again.”
“I know, but I don’t have an answer.”
“You two are infuriating, I have half a mind of stuffing you both into a closet and charming it closed.”
“Don’t you dare Lily Evans!”
“How about we just get your mind off of it for a while?”
“What were you thinking?”
I groaned, “Fuck off, exams are like 3 months away.”
“It would get your mind off it.”
“YES, I’m drawing them up tomorrow.”
“I won’t use it.”
“Yes you will Jemini.”
“Woah, don’t use the full first name with me.”
“I will if you don’t use the timetable.”
“I don’t want to start revising.”
She just glared at me.
“Fine,” I said. What? She scared me.
I just want my Sirius back, the one that jokes and smirks. He hasn’t joked or smirked at me for the last few weeks and I am literally about to crack. Why is he so mad? It’s not like I’ve been talking to Matheus every day, or talking to him at meals.
On top of Sirius being shifty and dodgy around me, Mya and Katy are still keeping up revenge efforts although they usually fall short of causing any real damage. I know what they’re trying to do, damage Lily and mines reputation. I honestly don’t know what any of their problems are with me. It’s pissing me off and I can’t fucking take it anymore. I just want Mya and Katy to fuck off in their own lives and leave me alone. I want Sirius to be normal with me and ask me out so we can be together. I want James to stop being a prick and pick up the hint that Lily wants him to ask her out and I just want to get good end of year results in my exams.
Just as I thought things couldn’t get any worse, at breakfast we were hit by hurricane Mimi. This is what we call Mimi when she’s pissed off. When she’s mad no one should get in her way and we’ve learnt the hard way, so take my advice. She literally bulldozered a group of giggling fourth years over as she stomped over to us, snatched some pieces of toast out of my hand and viciously started spreading some butter on it.
I shot a meaningful look at Lily who frowned.
I knew what she was thinking, Mimi had been all flowers and kisses in the dorm last night before she went to see Remus and she got back way after we went to sleep. So Remus and Mimi had a fight? The golden couple who never fought or got annoyed at each other. Oh shit, it must have been bad.
“Good morning everyone,” said Lola, sitting down next to me reaching for a bowl of porridge.
“I don’t see what’s so good about this morning,” snapped Mimi.
“Umm..” Lola shot me a questioning look and I just shrugged indicating I had no idea why Mimi was pissed.
“It’s a fucking stupid expression anyway, why do you use it?” shot Mimi at Lola.
“W-what? I...I..” stammered Lola.
Thankfully she was saved of asking the question by the arrival of Sirius and James.
“Hey girls, you alright?” asked Sirius, sitting down.
“No we’re not,” snapped Mimi, again.
Sirius looked shocked, “Why’s that?”
“Because,” she said, looking at him with daggers, “You’re being fucking stupid about everything and won’t even look at Jem when all she did was talk to her ex for one night. Stop being so up yourself, Black.” At which point she dropped her overly buttered toast and stormed out of the hall.
“And that was?” asked a thoroughly confused James.
Before we could answer, Peter took Mimi’s seat and said “Can someone explain to me why I was thrown into a wall by Mimi just now?”
“Best not to ask, Pete,” said Lily sympathetically.
I chanced a glance at Sirius but he was staring determinedly down at his bacon and eggs. Oh god, now Mimi’s gone and made everything worse because he’s going to think I’ve been telling Mimi things. Why isn’t everything just simple?
After my defense lesson I decided I would catch Sirius up on the way to the common room, seeing as we both have a free period and have a chat. Explain that Matheus and I aren’t even friends.
“Sirius,” I shouted, as he turned round the corner. God, he literally shot up from his desk and practically ran out of the class and down the corridor. It’s as if he knew I was going to want to talk to him after the lesson.
“Sirius Black, get back here,” I yelled as I ran round the corner and slammed straight into him.
As I stumbled back I blinked rapidly up at his stern cold expression.
“Yes?” he asked.
“Um..” I didn’t expect him to be so cold. “Me and Matheus aren’t friends.”
“Great,” he said, before turning away as if to walk away.
“Wait,” I said. “Why aren’t you talking to me?”
“I’m not talking to you because you don’t understand anything, Jem. It’s infuriating that you just don’t get it and I need time to think.”
“Get what?” I asked, thoroughly confused.
“Anything. About how what you do actually has consequences and may hurt other people. You only think about yourself,” he said.
Ouch, that hurt.
“I don’t know what to say,” I said.
I hate this. I do think about the consequences. Maybe sometimes I act on impulse, I didn’t really think the whole Matheus thing through. I didn’t think about how it would hurt Sirius, maybe make him jealous and angry. I didn’t think about how it would hurt Lily because only she knows all the things he said to me and how much he hurt me. But sometimes I don’t think, how am I supposed to analyse situations as they come?
I can hear Mimi snoring in the bed next to me. I thought it was all so easy for her, with Remus, but now I’m not so sure. She didn’t tell us all day what was wrong, just went on a rampage around the castle terrorising every 1st year she saw. Then didn’t turn up at lunch or dinner and came up to the dorm at 10, crossed the dorm to her bed and snapped her hangings shut.
Not even an hello. Jheez, that fight must have been so bad. Even Remus was nowhere to be seen.
Everyones asleep and I can’t get comfortable in this bloody bed, for the first time might I add. I can’t think cooped up in this dorm, I need to get out. Go for a walk, like back in 5th year. Although, back then I used to sneak out to see Matheus, oh god, let’s not open that drawer. We’ll just close and lock that.
I pushed my hangings back, slipped on a hoodie and some leggings then tiptoed across the room and pulled open the door.
I thought I heard Lily stir so I froze but after 30 seconds there was no movement, so I silently shut the door and made my way down the stairs.
“Sneaking out?” I jumped about a metre in the air before crazily spinning around to locate the source of the voice.
He was standing by the fire, and began to chuckle while walking over.
“We used to sneak out,” he said.
I rolled my eyes, “That was a long time ago, Matheus.”
“Hm, I wouldn’t mind those times back,” he said.
“I wouldn’t, don’t you remember? We don’t see each other in our futures,” I said, before turning on my heel and making my over to the portrait hole.
“You know that was said in anger, Jem. I didn’t mean it! We could be great toget-” The rest of what he said was drowned by the fact I had slammed the portrait shut, jerking the fat lady out of sleep.
“Young lady, what time do you call this?” she said, irritably.
“I’m leaving, not going in,” I snapped before speed walking down the corridor.
“Well, you certainly won’t be allowed back in,” she shouted after me.
I slowed down once I got to the 7th floor and started counting my steps and organising my thoughts. Let’s put whatever happened with Matheus in there, into the draw and lock it again. We won’t be needing that key to open the draw for a long time. Now, Mimi and Remus will sort their shit out, soon. Hopefully, because hurricane Mimi is going to be the death of us all if it doesn’t die down. I’ve decided we’ll have to tackle her tomorrow, regardless of her wanting to or not. Time to put our foot down.
“Well, well well, if it isn’t the blood traiter...Jemini Lander,” said a cold, sneering voice behind me.
“Nott,” I said as soon as I identified his face.
“Yes it’s me. Now, what are you doing out so late?”
“I could ask you the same question,” I shot back.
“Yes...” he muttered before covering the distance between us in two long strides and with unexpected strength pinned me up against the wall.
“What are you doing?” I hissed, trying to pull free from the sleazy Slytherin.
“You know, if you weren’t such a blood traitor, you would be just the wife I would dream of,” he breathed.
“Fuck off, I would rather die than be your wife,” I spat, still struggling against his hands holding my wrists.
“Nott, release the girl,” snapped a high pitched voice from the end of the corridor. Finally, reinforcements. I was mistaken.
Nott let me go instantly and I moved as far away from his as I could before I looked at who had saved me. Bellatrix Black.
“I can’t believe you thought that blood traitor worthy of you,” she said, looking at me as if I were vermin.
“I said if she weren’t a blood traitor,” he said, he was obviously scared of Bellatrix. Honestly, I could see why, she induced fear wherever she went with her wild birds nest hair and wide cold eyes.
“You!” she barked at me. “You would be good, you know.”
“I told you,” said Nott, triumphantly.
“If you weren’t a blood traitor, you would be useful on our side. Useful for the dark lord, useful for his takeover,” she said, speaking with love.
“I would literally rather set fire to myself and a thousand house elves than join your side. Call me a blood traitor but I call it standing up for what’s right. You need to aswell, I know what you are. Going to join the death eaters as soon as you’re out of here this year Black?” I said, feeling more confident than I should have. It was two against one and she was clearly more experienced in magic than I was.
She scoffed, “One day, you will remember you said that and feel foolish little girl. The dark lord will give us guidance.”
“Well his guidance is a bunch of toss,” I said.
“You will not speak of the dark lord this way.” She screeched. “You could have been great, Lander. You chose the wrong path.”
“I could say the same about you,” I said.
“What is going on here?” I have never in my life been happier to see James Potter and Sirius Black.
Bellatrix sneered, “Oh darling cousin, I was just taking a walk when I saw Nott pinning your little whore to the wall and actually saved her, you can thank me anytime.”
“She’s not a whore,” he snapped, drawing his wand.
“Then how do you explain Nott?” she smirked.
Sirius pointed his wand at Nott, “what did you do to her?” he growled.
“She’s a blood traitor, filthy whore. Nothing I want in my bed,” he said, in disgust.
Before I could blink, Nott was frozen and fell to the ground with a thud.
Sirius had only turned around for a second to curse Nott before Bellatrix had her wand trained on me.
“You all could have been so great on our side, but you went down the traitor road.” She spat at my feet.
“Take your wand off her,” roared Sirius.
“We would rather die than join Voldemort’s forces,” said James, his wand trained on Bellatrix.
She looked outraged, “you dare speak the dark lords name.”
“Yeah, that’s his name. I mean, you refer to people by their names,” said James, bravely.
“This is why you’re all traitors and you’ll all end up dead.”
“Say that again,” said James, threateningly.
“You’ll all end up dead,” she said, smirking, “and this ones going to be the first to go.”
Before I could register what she had said, I felt myself being blown backwards at break-neck speed. Everything went black as I hit the wall and slumped down to the floor.
Sirius, I couldn’t die yet. I needed to tell Sirius.....
How are you liking the story, so yes i've brought in a little bit of darkness into the story when i said i wouldnt but i couldnt resist. I promise, no more horrible dark stuff but this was essential (: and also, i would love if you would review to tell me how im doing, if you like the story etc. Also, if any of you feel up to it then, predictions? Ooooh, they would make me so happy.
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