Chapter 7 : Not the Easy Life
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That lunch had gone fine actually for 2 years things were fine. Draco and I are together, not married, but together. You see the problem is that I’m pregnant. For most people this wouldn’t be an issue, for me this was monumental. I had never planned on having children and this definitely wasn’t planned, one night with a mistake lead to this. Draco’s so bloody excited about it that I want to strangle him.
I wasn’t angry with the baby, I was angry with the fact that I was only dreading being a mother. I was terrified I’d become like my real mother and abandon my child and boyfriend. I’d run before and I just had the overwhelming feeling to do it again. I hadn’t shared this with Draco and probably never would in case I did run. But as I sit here 9 months pregnant staring out the window at the ocean, waiting for Draco to be back from work I’m consumed in my own thoughts of abandonment.
You never get over abandonment, no matter how long it’s been, it’s always got a way of creeping up on you. The day that Simone told me I had been left on her doorstep keeps running through my head. What had made me so horrible that my mum didn’t want me? I’d never been able to get over the sense of abandonment I felt, made it all the worse when I left Hogwart’s.
Everyday was a struggle to not run away again, to avoid getting hurt again but now with this baby growing inside me I couldn’t run and I felt trapped. My one line of defense was gone because I couldn’t run with Draco’s baby, he’d hunt me down faster than anything.
I’m jolted from my thoughts at the sound of the front door slamming shut. “Bella!?” I hear a familiar voice calling me from the hall.
I smile despite myself and go to greet the man who would eventually force me to marry him because he was always afraid I’d run, just as I was always afraid I would too. Getting pulled into his arms again and being pressed up against his chest, I knew I could never bring myself to leave him again, and right then and there my water broke and I was being forced onto another adventure by another Malfoy (a much smaller one have you), inspite of it all I finally gave in and let myself be taken care of and ordered around by the people I loved most, my new family. Although when I say ordered I don't mean the way you would think. More like now I have a small person that's more important than anyone else in the world, and the miracle that I could have any part in something so perfect...well, it astounds me.