“Lily, you are being ridiculous. Why can’t you just straight up say who you think it is that I’m dating so that I can tell you that you’re wrong and you can get over it?”
“Because,” I rub my hands together evilly, “I know who it is. And thus I must make a grand gesture of my knowing who it is!”
“You’ve REALLY been spending too much time with me.”
“Hush hush, Ms. Moore. Let me begin,” I go into Sherlock Holmes mode, “So, when I discovered that you had a secret lover, I knew there had to be something different about this one for you to really be over Xeno. Yes yes, I knew it had to be someone in a different house,” El bites her lip, “and different age,” her eyes are the size of dinner plates, “From there, I had no clue.
“But then, I ran away from home! And I might say that I find it very odd that you already knew Sirius was here.”
“Lily, this is stupid, let’s go eat some waffles-“
“NO! Let me finish! Okay, where was I? Ah, yes. And then your parents knew him. For you to have introduced him to them, and for them to have liked him, he would've had to be a responsible fellow. This leads to you telling me his last name was a color, but it wasn’t Sirius. That got me thinking. But what really got me,” I fling her closet door open for dramatic effect, “Was the green sweater in your closet!”
She gulps, knowing she’s been caught.
“The Ella I know would never wear green, even though it looks nice on her, because the look is too Slytherin-y. And what could change your mind about that except…” Suspenseful pause, “YOU’RE SECRETLY DATING REGULUS BLACK! You cougar!”
“Hush! Lily, Sirius is right next door! He’d freak if he found out I was dating his brother! And I’m not a cougar; Regulus is only a year younger than me.”
I pout, “But why couldn’t you tell me?”
She gives me a ‘Really?’ look, “Lily, darling, you can’t keep a secret for crap.”
Oh yeah. I always seem to forget about that.
Ella sits down on her bed, and I do the same, “Regulus and I are waiting to tell anyone until we entirely figure out our feelings for each other.”
I give her a mischievous smile, “Do you guys make out a lot?”
She blushes but smiles, “Yes. He’s a way better kisser than Xeno or any other older guy I’ve gone out with.”
I shrug, “Makes sense. His older brother is the most infamous snogger in the school. Wait a second… You’re kissing someone with the same genes as Sirius! They probably have the same lips! You’re kind of kissing Sirius Black!”
“Lily!” Ella laughs, “Don’t gross me out like that, you know Sirius is practically my brother!”
“Maybe someday he will be! By law, I mean. Hm, I never thought you’d be Mrs. Ella Black.”
“Woah there, you’re thinking pretty far into the future. But, honestly, I could see myself marrying him someday. More than I could anybody else I’ve been in a relationship with.”
I realize the obvious question I hadn’t asked, “How long have you guys been dating? I mean, how did it all start?”
“Well, it’s kind of a funny story. It was right before winter break, and-“
“YOU’VE BEEN HIDING THIS SINCE WINTER BREAK?”
“Please, honey, I’m an actress. If I wanted, I could move to Tokyo and you’d think I was still here.”
I sigh, “Carry on.”
“Anyways, as I was saying, it was about a week before winter break. I was at a Quidditch game, remember the Gryffindor vs. Slytherin one? Well, if you do, then you remember that Regulus got hurt. And I know you definitely remember that I also happened to starting puking. Well, you walked me to the infirmary and I told you that you could leave, and you did. I sat there waiting for Madame Pomfrey, barfing my brains out into a rubbish bin, when I hear a voice from the bed next to me. It was Regulus, sitting there with his arm that was obviously not supposed to be bent that way. And you know what he said to me?
‘You look horrible.’
Obviously not in the mood for a complement, I channeled my inner-Melanie and gave him some attitude by saying, ‘You should talk. Are Slytherins born with their arms bent like that or is it another initiation type thing?’
He just smiled at me, and that’s when I first noticed his dimples. Distracted me, too, because I didn’t catch whatever he said next.
‘I’m sorry, what?’
‘I asked if you were the girl that hangs around with my brother. Ella Boor?’ I could tell he said my name wrong on purpose.
‘It’s Moore,’ I corrected, ‘And yes, would you also like to-‘ But before I could finish throwing another sassy remark his way, I felt the last of my lunch come up and escape into the bucket.
‘You alright, Moore?’ He asked me, and even though I hadn’t said a single nice thing to him he still seemed to be genuinely concerned about me.
And so I straight up asked him, ‘Why do you care, Black? You’re a Slytherin and I’m a Gryffindor. It shouldn’t matter to you whether or not I’m alright. Actually, you should be trying to make it so that I am not alright.’
Regulus thought about what I said for a second and shrugged, ‘Us Black brothers don’t always like to do what we should.’
I didn’t know what to say to that, but before I could say anything Madame Pomfrey came in and gave me something to help with my stomach flu or whatever I had. She sent me back to the dorm for rest, and I didn’t see Regulus again. It wasn’t like we were avoiding each other, we had no reason to, it was just that our paths didn’t really cross all too often in the first place.”
I look at Ella, “And? What happened after that?”
“Well,” She bites her lip, “During that week before Winter break, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. We’d had that short encounter back in the infirmary, but it was one of those conversations that you wouldn’t know had electricity unless you were in it. I sat awake at night just to replay what he said in my head, analyzing every word, and I couldn’t figure out why he’d affected me so much in such a small time. I mean, he was my good friend’s kid brother, why should he have? And then I got the note.”
I leaned forward, wanting to hear more, “The note?”
“It was the last day before break, and I was sitting in the library, studying, when a little paper airplane flew and landed gracefully right on the book I was reading. I looked around and saw Regulus sitting at another table, motioning for me to open it. So I did, and the note read:
I haven’t been able to get you out of my head. Don’t know why, maybe I liked the way you blatantly insulted me. And then threw up in a bucket. Maybe I’m a man of strange taste. Meet me by the Circe Tapestry?
I turned to look back at him, but he’d already left the library. I knew I had to get to the bottom of why I’d been thinking so much about him. So I walked to the tapestry to find no one there. Then two arms popped out of the broom closet right there and pulled me in; it was Regulus.
‘Black! What the hell are you-‘
He cut me off by putting his hand over my mouth, ‘Listen, Moore, I like you. I don’t know why, but I do. And, well, I want to figure it out. Will you figure it out, with me?’
I peeled his hand off my lips, ‘Are you asking me out?’
‘Yeah,’ he mused about it as if he hadn’t thought of it that way, ‘I guess I am.’
‘Regulus,’ I started but he gave me a disapproving look, and I smiled, ‘Black, we’re in rival houses. You’re a year younger than me. And, most of all, your big brother is one of my best friends.’
His face fell, but I wasn’t finished, ‘And so yes, I will go out with you. I love a challenge.’
And, with that, I gave him a wink and a kiss on the cheek and walked out.”
“Ella. That entire story sounds like something out of a cheesy 90’s teen show. That. Is. So. Cute!” I squeak girlishly.
She giggles, “My whole life is a 90’s teen show. When I write my memoir, I might call it ‘Girl Meets Hogwarts’ or ‘Saved by the Spell’.”
“Well, there’s nothing like a super-cute love story to make me feel better about my very bad day. We need to celebrate!” I pull my hair up into a ponytail, all hyped up.
El shrugs, “Want to call Mary over? We could prank the boys!”
“That sounds great! And I know just the perfect prank.”
Mary looks out of Ella’s window with binoculars, “They’re camping in their backyard. How mature.”
“Perfect,” Ella rubs her hands together evilly, “Okay, Lily, you have to sneak into James’s room to steal his invisibility cloak.”
“Because, if you get caught by him you can just seduce your way out. Mary and I wouldn’t have a chance at getting out of there. If he catches you, well, you know what to do better than any of us. Now go!” Ella drags me down the stairs and opens the back door for me to walk out into the night air.
“Wait, what do you mean I know what to do-“
I groan and walk out. I sneakily creep over the fence to the Potters’ back porch. I look at the tent, they’re obviously dead asleep. I can hear the snoring from here, and they’re a good twenty feet away. I slowly open the door, even though Ella already informed me that James’s parents are out of town. I found my way to his room. What? I’d been in his house for parties before.
But was I really in James Potter’s room right now? And… to steal a cloak? An invisibility cloak, admittedly, but just a cloak nonetheless. I looked around the room a bit; he had a maroon bedspread, and navy blue walls which were almost covered with posters of Quidditch and old movies.
Potter’s taste in movies was the only thing I agreed with him on, because we both had a passion for old black and white movies.
My thoughts were interrupted as I saw it, a cloak clumsily thrown on top of his dresser. I start to walk over to grab in when I hear the door creak open, and I spin around to see James himself.
“Lily? What are you doing here?”
“Err…” Oh no. What could I do?! I was stuck, I needed to get out but I needed that cloak.
And that’s when I realized what I had to do. I really hate when Ella is right.
I took a deep breath. I would have to seduce James Potter. Make him feel like I want him, like he’s Humphrey Bogart or any other good-at-heart-bad-boy that he always tries to be.
Lily was in my room. I’d imagined this scenario before, of course, but I was pretty sure this wasn’t going to end like it always did in my mind.
Or at least that’s what I thought before Lily put on a sexy expression that I swear was straight out of my favorite old movie.
I had to take a second to make sure I wasn’t dreaming, because I’ve definitely had dreams about me and her being like Humphrey Bogart and one of his leading ladies.
“Oh, James. I thought you were sleeping,” she bites her lip and begins to walk towards me slowly, putting emphasis on every step as my heart starts beating rapidly, and eventually she comes so close that I have to back up and run into my dresser, but I hardly even notice, “I was just wondering around, but I should probably go now,” by this point she’s hardly inches away from me, and I could feel her warm breath on my neck sending shivers down my spine as she put her arms on either side of me, trapping me between her and my dresser.
We stood like that for a second; I was too in shock to even move. My brain couldn’t function with her that close to me, especially when she was acting like THAT.
And suddenly she stepped back and put her arms behind her back as she walked slowly backwards; she was her normal self again, “Well, Potter, it was nice talking to you, bye now!”
Once she’s gone, I almost pass out. I put my hand over my chest and fall back onto my bed, completely overwhelmed by what had just happened.
She’d just made me feel like Humphrey freakin’ Bogart.
“You. Did. What?” Ella grins at me proudly.
“Er… Well I seduced him. I got my inspiration from the heroines in all those movies I- I mean, we love.”
“You slut!” El shouts jokingly at me.
“I’ll pray for you on Sunday,” Mary adds on with a smile.
“Oh gosh, Lils, only YOU would know how to get Potter off on something like that!”
“What is that supposed to mean?” I furrow my eyebrows.
“Nothing. Oh! Just wait until Melanie hears about this!”
“Ella NO!” I shout, “She will never let me comfortably walk this Earth again!”
“Okay, okay. But I’m telling Cassie!”
“Fine. She’ll just be reminded of her old theory about shoes and the government.”
“Padfoooooot!” I whine as I duck into our tent. Yeah, we’re mountain men like that.
Sirius tiredly turns over, “What is it Prongs? Are you having those toilet problems again?”
“LilyjustactedallsexyandseductiveandthenshejustleftandIdon’tknowwhattodo!”I let it all out in one breath.
My friend sits up, only one eye open and the other still asleep, “All I heard out of that was Lily and sexy. So I’m just gonna assume you had another dream about Evans.”
“No! Well, yes, but it wasn’t a dream!”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“Well, I went inside to take a piss, and then I heard footsteps in my room… And when I went in there, Lily was there, and then all of the sudden she was really close to me and talking in that sexy voice and her breath smelled like tootsie rolls and then she just ran away!”
“Did you take that piss?”
“Crap! Hmph, y’know what? I’m a man! I’ll go in the bushes!”
“Yeah! Me too! ‘Cause we’re manly!” Padfoot agrees.
We crawl out of the tent and walk over to the bushes at the edge of the forest. Yes, forest, there is one only thirty feet behind my house. Yup, I’m pretty cool.
So Sirius and I are releasing our bodily fluids when we hear a snap.
“Did you hear that?”
“Yes. I was hoping it was you.”
“I was hoping it was you.”
“Sirius, just stay calm-“
“OH MERLIN I’M TOO PRETTY TO DIE!”
By now we were too scared to pee anymore, we’d told each other lots of scary stories about this forest, but we’d never heard snaps or cracks.
We hear another rustle, and immediately zip up our pants to hug each other. If we die, we’re going down togeth-
SWEET BAJESUS SOMEONE JUST SCREAMED A FOOT AWAY FROM US WE’RE GONNA DIE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
“Hahahahahahaha!” We hear girls’ laughter.
“What…” I hear Sirius say shakily, “Are we in heaven?”
I shake my head when I see the culprits, “No, mate, we’ve just been pranked. And by the way, I love you but there’s no way you’d end up in heaven.”
“Oh no…” Padfoot says when he sees the three girls rolling with laughter, “That’s evil…”
The familiar fabric of my Invisibility Cloak is suddenly on my face, Lily threw it at me, “It’s okay, James, we’ll always have Paris- I mean, your room!”
“No!” I shout, “THAT’S why you were acting like a bomb of sexiness!”
Lily giggles, “And THAT’S what you get for what you wrote on the wall a couple weeks ago!”
I smile as I have a little flashback. Lily had been so mad at me that she didn’t even realize she was angrily humming Eye of the Tiger.
“ALRIGHT, LADIES, IT’S ON!” Padfoot bursts.
“What?” Ella laughs smoothly, “Are you going to retaliate, turning this into a total prank war? That’s not an over-done idea at all.”
“No…” Sirius puts on his dramatic face, “I challenge you girls to a game of Truth or Dare Extreme!”
“What makes it extreme?” Mary never misses a chance to undermine my best friend.
“If you refuse to answer a truth or perform a dare, you are out of the game. Last team standing wins.”
“But it’s uneven,” Lily points out fairly.
I shrug, “Moony is never busy, so we can just floo him over really quick!”
The girls agree, and we run into the house to get Remus. This would be an interesting night.
After about ten minutes, the boys walk back out to the back yard with a sleepy looking Remus. We all climb into James and Sirius’s larger-on-the-inside tent, and sit in the customary circle. Except, this time, girls were on one side and boys on the other.
“Alright, Moor,” Sirius says competitively, “Let’s toss a coin to see who goes first.”
Ella gets up and goes to the middle of the circle, eyes narrowed playfully, and hands Sirius a knut. He checks that it isn’t one-sided, and then flips it.
“Heads,” Ella calls it in the air, but it lands on tails.
The boys cheer and high-five each other. Sirius strokes his chin thoughtfully, “Who shall I choose? Ah, I know. Virgin Mary! What will it be, truth or dare?”
Mary, who obviously is not a fan of Sirius, scowls at him challengingly, “Dare.”
“I was hoping you’d say that. Now is my time to avenge all the rude comments you’ve made towards me!” Maybe I was wrong when I said Ella was more dramatic than Sirius, “I dare you to take off your pajama shirt,” Mary flashes red as Sirius gains a satisfied-with-himself grin.
Mary begrudgingly takes off her top, and is left huddling to cover her girly white bra from the boys’ eyes.
Sirius laughs evilly, “Alright, enough of that fun. Moor, your turn.”
Ella looks sympathetically at Mary, “I would avenge you, darling, except that I had something else in mind.”
“It’s alright,” The half-naked girl glares at the smirking boy diagonally across from her, “When it’s my turn, I’ll take matters into my own hands.”
“Anyways,” Ella continues, “James, truth or dare?”
“Truth!” James shouts excitedly.
“Crap,” My best friend sighs, “I was hoping you’d pick dare. Oh well. What’s the juiciest thing that has happened to you recently?”
Potter tilts his head, “Juicy?”
El rolls her eyes at him, “What is the most recent, biggest secret you’ve got?”
James realizes what Ella means, looks at me, and then looks at the ground. Well that was strange.
“Err, Lily?” He sighs as he looks back up at me, “Remember that night when you were all mad at Ella and went into the woods?”
“Sure, you asked me what was wrong, but then I snapped at you and you left.”
“Actually-“ Potter is suddenly tackled by Lupin.
“No, Prongs! You’re not just revealing your secret, you’re revealing ours too! Especially mine!”
James pushes Remus off him, “Calm down! I’m not going to tell them your end of the deal!”
Lupin glares for a second, but then nods.
“Anyways, I didn’t leave after you told me to go away,” Potter sighs.
“Holy Merlin!” I shout, “You overheard me talking to Mr. Cuddles?”
“Not exactly… Wait, you named me Mr. Cuddles? What the hell?”
“No, I named the stag I was randomly having a conversation with Mr. Cuddles.”
“Right… About that. Did I mention the fact that I’m an animagus?”
Suddenly, I can’t breathe. It is slowly dawning on me that I gave away my darkest secrets, and to James Potter. James freakin’ Potter. Maybe that should become his middle name.
Not sure how to react, I grunt and stomp out of the tent. I guess I have to continue the tradition of people stomping out of truth or dare sessions.
“Lily,” Potter’s voice is hoarse from behind me.
I turn around, “What?”
“You ought to be! Just sitting there, letting me confess everything to you!”
“That’s not what I’m talking about. I mean, I’m sorry for third year. But, you need to know, I hadn’t kissed tons of other girls before that,” he blushes, “at that time, I hadn’t kissed anybody, and I couldn’t stand the thought of you kissing someone like Snape before I’d even kissed one girl. So I did what I’d always wanted to, I didn’t know it would hurt you so much, but now that I do know, I’d rather watch you kiss Snivellus a hundred times than make you sad again. But, Lily Marie Evans, on my honor I swear to you that you were my first kiss.”
I look at him, not knowing what to do, so I hug him. And he… smells like a wonderful scent caught in the middle of Old Spice, Axe, and new linens… I mean, uh, not that I even like that smell or anything. Ahem.
He finally releases me from the enclosure of his arms, “Does this mean you’re not mad at me?”
“Oh, no, I’m still totally going to get you back for this, Cuddles,” I grin at him evilly and jump back into the tent.
Now, it’s game time.