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Peanut Butter Geli Time by LilyLunaPotter17
Chapter 2 : I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto!
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 9

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Ermigerrd, amazing chapter image by and.y @tda!!

My absolute favourite moment had to be on Mrs Potter’s birthday on the 11th of August and Mr Potter had invited the Weasleys over to dinner. He asked James and I to set the table and I was just about to open the cutlery drawer when James said to me,

“Actually, Geli, you don’t mind if I skip out on this job, do you? Only, I – um – um – um –“ he struggled to find an excuse.

“Let me guess. You forgot to wrap your mother’s present?” I suggested.

“Yes! That’s exactly it.”

“Go on then. Just leave me, the guest, your cousin’s bezzie, the girl who is always nice and doing favours for you, just leave her to lay the table and slave away and stuff.”

“Thanks, my little muffin!”

“Actually, you’d better go before I punch you.”

“Someone has a violent streak!”

“I DO NOT have a violent streak! So you can just shut that bloody mouth of yours before I shut it for you!”

And before I could say another word, he sped off. Sighing, I turned back to the cutlery drawer and began taking out forks. My brain having turned off during the summer, as it always did, couldn’t figure out what seven plus four plus five was.

“Umm …”

“Sixteen,” said a voice behind me. I turned and I saw my dear, darling, handsome, brilliant, amazing, kind, incredibly brainy, selfless – okay, shut up now. Albus was leaning against the fridge and came over to me. “Sixteen forks. Sixteen knives. And –“

“Fifteen spoons?”

“Right. Because Lily is lactose intolerant –“ (At this point I did a quick scan of my mental dictionary and did not find the words “lactose” or “intolerant” in it anywhere) “– which means she can’t drink milk, and Mum’s cake recipe has milk in it.”

“But what will she have for pudding?”

“Meh, she’ll probably make some hot chocolate or something.”

“Hot chocolate has milk in, Al,”

“Really?” (Okay, so maybe describing Al as “incredibly brainy" is an overstatement. Maybe the overstatement of the week. Or possibly the year. It depends. On what people have said about James).

“Yes, Al, really,” I replied, mustering my courage and giving him a playful pat on the head. He smiled at me and I basically fainted.

“So, maybe she’ll make some jelly or something.” Al went on, watching me struggle getting the forks untangled from the random bits of thread and rope in the drawer. “Here, let me get that for you.” He waved his wand and the forks untangled. But, unfortunately, he decided that helping me set the table was not in his list of “Gentlemanly Things To Do For Your Future Wife”.

Instead, he watched as I turned to the table and frown in confusion.

“Umm – you know there are sixteen people coming and your dining table only seats six?”

“Dad can sort that.” Al said simply, as he was watched me put the forks down and leave ten hovering in the middle of the table.

As I was returning to the drawer for the knives, he suddenly said,

“He really likes you, you know.”

“Who’s ‘he’?” I was rather hoping that Albus sometimes referred to himself in third person, when he was feeling random.

Al rolled his eyes. “James, of course.”

“No,” I said, shaking my head and starting to take out the knives. “No, he doesn’t –“

Al opened his mouth to reply, but Mr Potter came rushing in, his glasses askew and his hair as messy as ever. The total image of Al. Without the glasses, of course.

“Geli! Setting the table already?” he said.

“Yes, Mr P.” Al sniggered and I glared at him. “Will you extend the table now?”

“I suppose I’ll have to. Now where is James? That lazy bloody sack, I bet he’s skived off.” He was actually talking to himself as he took out his wand and waved it at the table. It rose in the air, dropping off all the forks and the table extended far enough to fit sixteen people. Then it dropped down with a loud thud! and made four dents on the floor. Ten more chairs appeared and Mr Potter bent down to gather up all the forks.

“I suppose they’ll need washing now, yes?” he asked me, sweat pouring down his face.

“Umm, yeah I think so.” I replied. “Are you okay, Mr Potter?”

“Oh, yes, I’m fine, I’m absolutely flipping fine. Fan-diddly-tastic.”

“Alright then.”

Mr Potter put the forks on the table and pointed his wand at them. A jet of water burst from the tip and, him being so nervous and all, his aim was completely off and doused me and Al in freezing water.

“Thanks, Dad,” Al said, grinning like anything.

“Oh, no problem, Al,” Mr Potter muttered to himself as he hurried upstairs.

Al rolled his eyes and turned to me. “Sorry about that.” He pointed his wand at me and dried me off. Thank Merlin he’s already seventeen.

After he had dried himself, he turned all serious-like and demanded,

“So, what about you?”

“What about me?” I asked, snatching up a towel to wipe them over the forks.

“Do you like James?”

“No way,” I said. “Not someone as thick-headed as he is.”

“Ah, well, that’s just too bad, ‘cause he really likes you.”

“Whatever,” I said, laying out the forks again.

“Why don’t you like him?” Albus pried as I took out the correct number of knives. I shrugged. He stepped closer so we were practically nose-to-nose. “Why?”

“Because I like someone else.”

Al instantly went into all-girl gossip mode. “Oh. My. Gawd. WHO IS IT?”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“Naw … go on!”


“Tell me!”




“For me?”

“Do you like your nose the way it is? Because if you do, I suggest you shut up, because by Merlin, I swear I’ll punch your gorgeo – ugly bloody face into oblivion.”

“You think I’m gorgeous?”

“I said ‘ugly’, Albus. Honestly, your ears need cleaning out.”

“No, no, you said something before ugly.”

“No, I didn’t. Move, please.” I said, as he was still towering over me. He stepped aside, but he was still watching me as I put the knives on the table. Inside, my stomach was enjoying a nice display of fireworks while dancing the conga at a party with barrels of Firewhisky. I forced myself not to run into his arms as I turned back. “Plates?”

“In the cupboard.”

In later years, I could never figure out what made me do it. As I passed him, I tripped over my feet (completely on purpose, of course. I’m not stupid) and fell over.

“Merlin, Quina, are you okay?”

“Umm. Yep. Fan-diddly-tastic.”

“You sound like my dad. You must be ill.”

“Nope. I’d say Mr Potter is the most amazing-est person ever. Like, cool beans.” I resisted the urge to punch myself. Fortunately, it made Al think I really was ill, so he bent down and PUT HIS ARMS AROUND MY WAIST. I mean, like, I actually fainted right there.

Okay, maybe I didn’t, but I nearly did. If Rose came in right now, she’d go,


And then I’d go,

“Yes, Rose, we are!”

And then Al would go,

“I LOVE YOU GELI!” And then I’d have a heart attack because:



*Sigh*. Why is Rose NEVER around when I need her? I mean, sure, she pops up when I’m like, “Rose, get lost” and now she’s like “YEAH WHATEVER GELI, I’M NOT HERE SO BOO-YA!”

Some best friend she turned out to be.

So anyway, Al put his arms around my waist and he lifted me up. OMIGOSH HE SMELLS OF STRAWBERRIES!

Ahh … I love the smell of Al.

Without trying to look weird, I sniffed hard so his smell would stay in my nose forever. And, it was just my luck that he noticed and said,

“Er … Quina? Are you alright?”

“Oh yes, perfectly fine. I think I’ll just … stand here a while. And then I’ll be okay.”

“Want me to let go?”

“NO!” I screamed hysterically. He looked at me confusedly. “I – I mean, I still feel dizzy …” And, to add to the totally dramatic effect, I pressed the back of my hand to my forehead and went, “Ooooh,” like I was about to faint. Thankfully, Al isn’t as bright as he usually is during the holidays, and my performance was convincing enough for him to keep holding my waist. Suddenly, the doorbell rang and Mr Potter dashed through. He glanced over at us but appeared not to see anything unusual. Obviously, he thought his son was FINALLY in love with his niece’s best friend and FINALLY, they were going out.

Unfortunately, the real situation was nothing like this.

Mr Potter opened the door and in came Victoire, who was instantly greeted by Teddy, and they rushed up the stairs together (no points for whoever guesses what they were doing), followed by Louis, who I always liked, then the Wicked Witch of the West, Dominique.

“Hey, Louis,” Al said. Louis smiled awkwardly at me. I smiled back, then I realised I was meant to have a mild concussion, so I said (okay, maybe I shrieked),


And then I remembered Al still had his hands around my waist. So, naturally, Louis would have thought he walked in on something. But no. I mean, jeez, I love him but we’re not Teddy and Victoire for Merlin’s sake, snogging in public and stuff.

Louis moved into the garden to look for James, and Dom looked at me and Al weirdly. She opened her mouth, and I half expected her to say,

“Hello, my pretties!” then start cackling like the evil munchkin she is. What’s that you say? Oh, right. MUNCHKINS ARE NOT EVIL! I knew that. I love the Lollipop Guild.

But instead of doing an accurate impression of the Wicked Witch, Dom just said,

“I’m sorry, Geli, but are you dating my cousin?”

“No,” Al said quickly, letting go. “She fell. And I was helping her.”

“Right.” Dom said. Huzzah, someone thinks we’re going out! Booo – it’s Dom.

“She’s gone a bit loopy,” Al stage-whispered.

And, speaking of the Wizard of Oz and me being loopy, I decided to jump onto the nearest chair and yell,


Both Dom and Al looked at me like I was a weirdo. Which I guess I was. Duh, they haven’t SEEN the Wizard of Oz. They’re not flipping Muggleborn.

“Umm … Quina? Come down from there, please.”

“Yes, sir, please Mr Penguin miss.” I said, being the freak they thought I was. I jumped down from the chair and sat in it.

All right, so then I realised I was taking it a bit too far. So I shook my head and said,

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Geli, are you okay?” Dom asked curiously.

“Why the bloody hell are you here, Dom?” I said.

“And she’s back to normal,” Al said, grinning. Yeeey! So Al knows what me being “normal” is! Even though I have no idea myself!

“I’m freaking hungry, when’s dinner?” I demanded of no one in particular.

“Same,” Al said, rubbing his stomach.

“You have a stomach the size of Africa,” I said to him.

“As do you, my dear, as do you.” Al said, winking. Once again, my insides did the conga and I nearly puked because there were so many fireworks. HE CALLED ME “MY DEAR”!



“Quina, are you okay?” Al asked.

“Um, yeah I’m fine. Absolutely fan –“

“Don’t,” Al warned me, his beautiful green eyes sparking.

“Actually, Albus, I was going to say fan-doodly-tastic. Doesn’t Harry say ‘fan-diddly-tastic’?”

Al considered me for a moment, then said, “You are a clever girl, Quina Blue.”

“Shut up, Albus.”

“Will do,” Al said simply.

“Help me lay the table, please, Al,” I said to him.

“Sorry, Quina, but I have more important things to do.”

“Like what?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Sitting here. Watching you.”

“Watching her?” Dom said, giggling.

“Watching her struggle, I meant.” Al snapped at her.

“Thanks very much.” I said angrily, laying out the plates. “You know, I am your favourite cousin’s best friend.”

“You’re not my best friend,” Dom pointed out.

“Not you, Little Miss Amazing,” I said. “Rose.”

“Excuse me, Miss “I think I’m so cool”! I am Al’s favourite cousin!” Dom snarled, standing up.

“Well, pardon me, Miss “I’m such a twat”! I had no idea!” I said.

“Yeah, but you – you –“

“Shut up now, Dom.” Al advised her. “I wouldn’t suggest arguing with Quina. She’s the “Quina” arguments.”

“Very funny, Albus.” I said. “Thanks.”

“No problem, love,” he said casually.


Apparently my joy showed on my face because Dom looked at me like I was crazy and said,

“Are you okay, Geli?”

“I’m fine, I’m –“

“Fan-doodly-tastic,” Al finished for me.



When the rest of the Weasleys finally decided to turn up, we sat down to dinner, which was a roast dinner prepared by Mr Potter and Lily. Bill and Fleur sat next to each other, while Victoire sat with Teddy, who was looking very nervous, despite them being together since I was eleven, Dom was next to her sister, and Louis was sat next to her and James, looking awkwardly up and down the table.

Ginny was sitting at the head of the table, as it was her birthday, looking adoringly at her husband, who was next to her. Lily was between Harry and Al, then Rose, Hugo, Hermione and Ron opposite his little sister.







I was so pleased when Mr Potter set a seating plan and told me I would be next to Al. I like ran up to him and gave him a big hug and told him that I loved him.

I’m joking. Because that would just be like, SOO wrong.

1. He’s like twenty years older than me

2. He’s married

3. He has three kids

NUMBER FOUR (MOST IMPORTANTLY): I am going to marry one of his sons someday.

I was a nervous wreck as we sat down to eat. I was worried I’d embarrass myself by saying something corny or something stupid like that.


I put my hand on the table when I was getting some Yorkshire puddings, and Al went to get the gravy boat. Anyway, as he was pouring it over his plate (man, that boy loves his food. And that’s why I love him – smiley face, that’s your cue) he moved his hand and it went on mine! I flinched so hard that he flinched and the like threw the gravy boat across the table and it whacked Teddy on the face. He fell backwards off his chair and Victoire was screaming at Al, and at Teddy, who was lying on the floor looking extremely shocked.

As Victoire and Bill helped him up, he said to Al,

“Gee, Al, what have I ever done to you?”

Al didn’t reply. He was so embarrassed he hardly looked at what he was eating. He kept glancing at me but I pretended to be so engrossed in my food (yes, I love food too. More than Al does, and that’s saying something) that I didn’t notice. But I did. And to make matters worse, Rose, dear Rosie, kept nudging me and looking at Al and giggling really loudly.

“Rose, shut up!” I hissed for about the fortieth time as I put down my glass of Butterbeer. Al turned away, his face completely red and eating really slowly.

“Al, are you okay?” Mr Potter called to him.

“I’m fine, Dad,” Al mumbled.

“Well, you’re not eating, so there must be something wrong with you.”

“Seriously. I’m fan-diddly-tastic,” Al said. He glanced at me. My mouth twitched as I tried not to smile, and Mr Potter didn’t seem to notice anything. Really, The Boy Who Lived isn’t as smart as they said he was. “They” being Ron and Hermione Weasley. And Bill. And Fleur. Oh, and Ginny. Don’t forget Ginny. It’s her birthday after all.

“Hey, Mum!” James suddenly yelled from the end of the table. “How does it feel being old?”

Mrs Potter’s wand drew from her pocket and it twitched suddenly, and suddenly James was surrounded by flying bogies.

Ah, I love this family.


Sorry for the wait! Everything in life has been so hectic as I've recently gone back to school and, as usual, the teachers are relentless and I had a MOUNTAIN of homework to do for next week. LOL. Okay, so I hope you liked this chapter and stuff.  I tried to be funny, but I don't really think it worked? I'm more into like, deep stuff. Yanno? Yeah, you do. So anyway thanks for reading this and, as usual that lil grey box is waiting right down there for you to start tapping in compliments (hint. hint hint. HINT. Got the HINT?) BTW, I don't own the Wizard of Oz, but I wish I did!! Love you all :) hopefully the next chapter will be up soon xo

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