A/N: I'm really sorry this chapter took longer to be updated than usual. I was having serious writer's block. But no matter, because here it is! Please r/r! :)
Numb and immune to my advances -
calls for a plan of radical action.
We are a team here, and it's simple,
back each other up when these girls ask questions.
Trust me I'm a Doctor - The Blizzards.
Sunday a few days later and I find myself sitting in the Gryffindor common room with Rose, Alex and Albus (Rose's cousin and James' brother). James is in the year above us, but Albus is in sixth year like us.
Rose is sitting on the floor beside the fire (which was basically the same colour as her hair) with her nose buried in a book so thick, I think it weighs more than me. Merlin know why that girl enjoys reading so much.
Albus and Alex are sitting together on the sofa chatting quietly. I'm in the single squashy chair trying to do my Potions homework on my knees. I really should be doing this in the library, but I wasn't bothered to get up out of this chair. Bloody hell, it was comfortable.
When I finished all my homework that was due for tomorrow, I closed all my books and sat back and closed my eyes with a sigh.
I must have fallen asleep, because next thing I knew, I was being shaken awake.
"Violet?" I groaned loudly. I opened one eye slowly but didn't move my head at all. I saw Rose standing in front of me with an amused expression and an outstretched hand. "What?" I moaned, closing my eyes again.
Rose giggled and grabbed my hand. "Violet... It's way past curfew and we have classes tomorrow."
"Don't remind me!" I groaned, squashing my face into a cushion. Rose laughed out loud and pulled me to my feet. The fast movement made my stomach flip and for a minute I was afraid I was going to projectile vomit on Rose's face.
I stayed utterly still for a moment, concentrating extremely hard on keeping my dinner in my stomach.
"What are you doing?" I heard Alex say from the stairs behind me. I didn't answer her, because I knew that if I opened my mouth now, it wouldn't be pretty.
I clutched my stomach. It wasn't big enough for anyone to notice that I was pregnant yet. In fact, you really couldn't see anything at all.
"Are you okay?" Rose asked, still holding my hand. " Yeah! Yeah, I'm fine!" I insisted, trying to seem cheerful, as my stomach settled down. Sighing with relief I followed Rose through the door leading to the staircase to the girls dorm.
Alex had already gone up to our dorm ahead of us so Rose and I walked up the stairs together. When we reached the sixth year dorm I pushed open the door and saw Missy was already asleep in her four poster bed. The door to the bathroom was closed, so Alex must be in there getting ready for bed.
I threw myself down on my bed and sighed. I knew no matter how tired I was, there was little chance I would sleep. My head was so full of worries still, even after my emotional meltdown. I felt so much lighter and carefree for a day, but then I saw James walking down the corridor and I felt terrible all over again.
The door to the bathroom opened and Alex emerged, in her green pyjamas and her light brown hair was bundled up on top of her head in a loose bun. She smiled at me as she walked towards her bed, but I was too tired to move my facial muscles into a smile.
Rose went and got ready for bed too. My mind was running around with the usual thoughts of James and the baby, and The Potter family, and the Weasley family, and My education, and my... *cringe* Mum. I am not looking forward to telling her.
Well that's a huge understatement.
I should really go to Madam Pomfrey and make sure everything is okay. With the baby, I mean. But I can't help but be worried that she would get in contact with mum or tell Professor McGonagall, who is headmistress as well as my Transfiguration teacher.
If I specifically told her not to, she wouldn't though, would she? Patient confidentiality and all that?
Frankly, I was worried about the baby, if I was doing the right things. Should I be eating healthier? Should I be taking vitamins or something? Is it okay to fly? Can I floo?
I spent a long time lying there stressing out about things, long after all the girls had gone to sleep. I was still wearing my muggle weekend clothes, but I was far too tired to get up and get dressed.
And so, in the early hours of the morning, I finally fell asleep.
On top of the covers, in my jeans and stretchy t-shirt.
I think I may be losing it.
I wake up feeling extremely uncomfortable. I sit up in shock. I'm in my dorm. It's still dark outside and all the girls are asleep and breathing heavily, with the exception of Rose, who is snoring so loudly, you'd swear she had swallowed an elephant.
I sigh in relief, but I notice I'm still in my clothes and drenched in sweat. I rub my hand over my face and through my messy hair, and decide to go and have a shower, despite the ungodly hour.
I step into the bathroom and shut the door quietly behind me. I carefully strip out of my clothes and step under the stream of warm water. I close my eyes and let the warmth surround me. I lean my head back and hold my hair under the running water.
As I wash my hair, my thoughts again return to the baby and I realise I want go to the hospital wing and get checked out. I'm totally suprised at how made up my mind is. I don't think I have ever been so worried about anything in my entire life, as I am about this baby.
As I pour a handful of my fruity body wash into my hand, I stop my thoughts from drifting to James or my mother. I don't want to start my day off feeling worried.
So instead I think of pointless things. I think about what nail polish I'm going to paint my nails tonight. I think about Rose and her frizzy hair. I think about Quidditch. I think about my Transfiguration essay.
When I finish with my shower, I return quietly into my dorm and see all the girls are still asleep. I change quickly into my school robes and make my bed quickly, even though I don't have to. I check my watch to see it is quarter to six in the morning, much earlier than I usually care to wake.
As I gaze at all the sleeping girls around me I instantly make a decision to go to the Hospital Wing. I stuff my feet into my shoes and silently make my way out the door and down to the common room. I move quickly, yet quietly, afraid that if I stop and think for too long, I'll change my mind. I know Madam Pomfrey will already be awake, dealing with unlucky patients who have managed to end up in her care.
As I dash into the ward, I notice Madam Pomfrey strolling in between the beds, checking on the sleeping students, although there aren't many. I recognise Michelle Every, a Hufflepuff girl in my year. She seems to be covered in boils. Normally I would be curious, but after spending six years in this school, you learn not to ask questions.
Madam Pomfrey looks up at me as I walk through the door and she looks at confused to see me for a moment. "Yes?" She asks, although not impolitely. I clear my throat and my eyes dart to all the sleeping figures. "I was wondering, Madam Pomfrey, if I could speak to you alone for a moment?" She nods and points towards a door at the back of the ward. "I will be in with you in a moment. Beale, is it?" I force a smile on my face and nod. She smiles back and me and continues around the beds.
I go through the door she pointed out and find myself in a small room with a desk and two chairs facing it. I've never been in here before. I sit down in one of the chairs and wait for Madam Pomfrey.
She doesn't take long, and enters the office quietly. She doesn't say anything until she sits down at the desk and looks at me carefully. "You look very pale." She points out and I want to roll my eyes at her. I'm always pale.
Before I say anything back to her, she speaks again. "Is there something I can help you with?"
I bite my lip. Maybe this was a bad idea.
"Your name is Violet, isn't it?" She prods at me, trying to get me to talk.
"Yes" I say. My voice croaks and I clear my throat again.
I take a deep breath, and just say it, like ripping of a plaster. "I'mprettysureI'mpregnant" I say quickly. She looks confused for a second and then her feature smooth out, and concern shows in her eyes.
"I see." She says professionally. "Did you take a test?" I nod my head, still unable to form words properly. She stays quiet for a moment. "And?" she asks and I blush. "Um, it was positive."
"Any symptoms?" She asks and I nod. "I was, um... late, which is why I took the test. I have terrible sickness in the morning too." I left out the part about my boobs hurting like hell.
"Okay. How far along do you think you are?" I look down at my knees and and mutter, "About ten weeks." I look up at her and she looks deep in thought. "At fifteen weeks, you'll have your first scan."
I look up at her. Her eyes are filled with care as she gives me a soft smile. "Normally you would have your scan at some time over the next three weeks, but since the holidays are coming up, and I assume you don't have any previous history of miscarriages," Madam Pomfrey looked up at me for confirmation and I nodded swiftly. "We can wait until you get back from Christmas break."
I sigh. "Okay." I stammered and she gave me another smile. "I will have to inform the headmistress."
My heart stops momentarily and then picks up speed. "NO! No! Please don't. I haven't told anyone yet and I don't want people to find out this way!" I shout, and I begin to panic.
Professor McGonagall will tell my mother, who will force me to tell her about James, who my mother will kill, and my baby will be born without a father, and I will be the most hated person in the Wizarding World for being the cause of the death of the son of our saviour. Then war will break out! It'll be worse than when Voldemort was alive!
Madam Pomfrey looks at me with worry and I realise I must look insane. I smooth down my hair and try to appear calm. "Please." I look up at her and give her my very best puppy-dog eyes.
She sighs and looks at me. "So, I assume the father has no idea?" I shake my head and she lets out a breath. "Okay. You can have until your fifteen week scan to tell all the parties involved, but by then, whether you have come clean or not, I will be informing the headmistress of your situation. Until then, I promise to keep this confidential." She looks at me seriously and I sigh a breath of relief.
Five weeks. One week after we get back for our Christmas holidays. I can do this.
"Thank you." I breath and she smiles at me. "Of course. If you have any questions, don't hesitate in coming to me." I stand up to leave but she holds up a hand to stop me.
She routes around in one of her drawers and pulls out a large bottle and hands it to me.
"This is prenatal potion. Take a spoonful every morning. It should help with the morning sickness and will help the fetus receive all the nutrients it needs." I nod to her and turn to leave once again.
"Violet." I turn back around and she smiles at me. "In all seriousness, any concerns or questions, please ask." I smile back at her and leave the ward, tucking the large green bottle in my robes, hiding it from view.
A/N: Hi again! Thanks for reading. Thoughts? Suggestions? Guesses as to what is going to happen? Let me know! Please feed the review box, I thinks he's hungry :)