Chapter 1 : Chapter 1
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He wanted to be feared but he couldn’t smile when he was happy. He wasn’t a man of many expressions, or, he wasn’t even a man at all. He was a werewolf, which is why he can’t smile. He felt that the only emotions he should express as a werewolf would be ones of pain and anger. Not ones of happiness, sadness, regret, remorse, confusion and more.
He hid the rest, and sometimes even contained. He’s not laughed because something was funny in a long time, he laughs to install fear in the person he was attacking or fighting. Fear. He was all about fear.
He was fighting someone right now, in a bar in a wizarding town. He didn’t know the name of the town, but the person he was fighting thought he should go back to Azkaban. He hated that place, and with all the new laws dealing with werewolves he got a free chance to do what he wanted. He could live. He still didn’t smile though, he couldn’t.
“Whaddya doin’ ‘ere you piece o’ shit?” The man slurred as Fenrir shoved his glass down onto the counter with a bang. He turned around and grinned evilly.
"I'm here because I can be," Fenrir slurred as he stood. "I have permission," he enunciated each word as he said them while he stood proudly. He and the man looked at each other before the man threw a drunken punch. Fenrir dodged it lazily before he went to ignore the guy, sitting back down and going back to his drink.
Fenrir felt the guy tap his shoulder before he glass was knocked out of his hand. It shattered against the counter, the alcohol contained inside spilling everywhere. Fenrir turned around and glared at the man, fuming in anger. The man went to punch Fenrir again before someone grabbed his arm, stopping him.
"Stop," they ordered with an authoritative tone. The man struggled for a moment before he started yelling with drunken words, spit flying as he screamed.
"He's scum! A werewolf! Nasty creature from hell!" Fenrir stood up at this last comment to glare at the, now cowering, man. The one who stopped the man nodded and backed off.
"Look here you bastard. I'm here cause I have taken my time in Azkaban, I have changed myself so other werewolves could live a happier life empty of fear. But I swear if you do not stop I will kill you right now," Fenrir almost yelled as he said those words. Combined with the tone and Fenrir's easy ability to be intimidating caused the man to cower underneath him. "Run you son of a bitch." The man turned around and ran as fast as he could. Fenrir sat down and ordered another drink calmly. The man who stopped the attacker sat down next to Fenrir.
"So you do have a heart," the person who sat next to Fenrir said as he grinned. His hair was an unnatural blue color that stood out to Fenrir even with his drunken haze.
Fenrir mumbled before he replied. "Of course I have a heart." Fenrir's drink of fire whiskey arrived at this moment and he downed it all at once, ignoring the guy that sat down next to him.
"The name's Teddy. Teddy Lupin," Teddy introduced himself as he ordered a drink. Fenrir turned to look at him, his eyes gaining a strange mixture of emotion. Teddy looked over at Fenrir and chuckled. “Don’t worry, you may have been the one to bite my dad but I don’t care. That was years ago.”
“What makes you think I give a damn?” While Fenrir said this he knew his emotions betrayed him. He gave way more than a damn, he gave the entire world. Remus. Remus was the reason he felt he couldn’t smile. He was a werewolf and felt he wasn’t supposed to smile so he didn’t, but Remus was the why.
“You know, it’s hard to hide emotion when you’re drunk like you are,” Teddy chuckled as he downed his own drink, ordering two more. “By the way, this should be your last drink.” Teddy pointed out as he paid for the two drinks.
“I can drink as much as I want,” Fenrir said this even though he knew Teddy was right and that he was going to stop at this drink. Fenrir couldn’t get his thoughts to stop replaying that night. Biting Remus was one of the most difficult things he could do.
“Cheer up,” Teddy said as his own words began to slur. “You don’t need to live your whole life based off one night. Then again I suppose you already have. You don’t have many more years to live.” Teddy finished his drink and pushed the glass away from him. He let his blue hair fade into a sandy brown so that he resembled Remus even more than he did before.
Fenrir choked on something as he looked at Teddy. In his drunken haze he saw Remus, not Teddy. “Remus?” Fenrir mumbled to himself, he didn’t know if Teddy heard him or not but he did see him smile slightly. “I… I’m sorry.” Fenrir scratched at the table, his nails leaving marks.
“And I too am sorry,” Teddy said under the guise of Remus. He knew what he was doing; he was trying to help Fenrir. He was told by so many people that he should hate the man, but there’s a reason behind every action. There’s a reason behind every personality.
“I’m sorry for biting you, for inflicting a curse on you till the day you died. Well you are dead. Heh,” Fenrir choked out a small chuckle, smiling for a second. “I’m so drunk. You are dead.” Fenrir smiled, it had returned.
Teddy got up and pat Fenrir’s back while he silently cried a bit. “If you ever want to talk again, come to this address and knock three times.” Teddy handed Fenrir a piece of parchment that had an address on it, along with the instructions Teddy just said out loud. He was certain Fenrir wouldn’t remember most of this in the morning.
“Wait don’t go!” Fenrir cried out, falling out of his usual character. His face showed a lot of remorse, and his eyes seemed extremely clear for someone so drunk. Fenrir stood to follow Teddy who stopped at the door with a small chuckle.
“You know, you’re like a small child at the moment. Crying out for someone,” Teddy chuckled when Fenrir growled at his comment.
“I am not like a small child,” Fenrir mumbled as the two walked out of the bar, a blast of cold rainy air hitting their faces. “It rained?”
“Of course it rained, but it’s not raining now. Look at the sky, the moon is close to being full,” Fenrir knew this fact but having it pointed out by someone else felt strangely refreshing. He gazed up at the moon, the cause of fear for some, the cause of anger for others, and something to soothe someone else.
Fenrir sighed as he looked up at the moon. He doesn’t dread the full moon, in fact he looks up to it. Letting the wolf take over lets everything fall off of his shoulders. His regrets, his actions, his memories. Everything falls off.
“So you regret biting my dad?” Teddy asked with look of understanding as he looked at Fenrir. Fenrir coughed before he nodded slightly. “Regret is nothing to be ashamed of.”
“When you’ve caused as many murders and life changing actions such as mine kid, you’ll understand that it is something to be ashamed of,” Teddy chuckled when Fenrir finished talking. “It isn’t a laughing matter!” Fenrir growled.
"Eh, you still shouldn't drag the past along with you," Teddy said as he pulled out his wand, looking at the wooden piece of magic. Teddy looked up at Fenrir and smiled. "You have a wand too?" Fenrir pulled out his wand that was being kept in his pocket. The two wands looked identical except for the obvious worn out wood on Fenrir's.
"They're the same," Teddy smiled as he looked into Fenrir's bewildered eyes.
"How could I have the same wand as... as... as a Lupin?" Fenrir thought outloud as he looked at the two wands.
"Twelve and a half inches, unicorn hair, chestnut," they both said simultaneously. Fenrir was astounded and Teddy grinned.
"See? No reason to hold on to past regrets," Teddy stumbled before he tripped and landed on his face. He laughed as he stood up. "I should really go, I can't stand for much longer." Teddy saluted to Fenrir before he pulled out an odd looking piece of muggle trash. He placed his wand to it and he disappeared using his portkey, leaving Fenrir all alone.
Leaving him with his drunken disjointed thoughts.
Remus. That night. Regret. Forgiveness. Smiling.
He was never able to smile since he bit Remus. Only for fear did he smile. But Teddy, Teddy fixed it. He stood up for Fenrir. Teddy helped Fenrir in more ways than he can imagine.
"Heh. Thanks kiddo."
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