Chapter 20 : The Madness of Overworked Tear Ducts
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It had been six days since any of my friends have spoken to me.
And it wasn’t because I hadn’t tried talking to them.
I sent Al, Rose and Alice letters, long ones, explaining my actions on New Years Eve. I assumed that Alice read the letters but decided not to respond, since I didn't receive anything from her.
Rose simply sent a letter in response saying, I'm too hurt right now to read them. Stop writing.
Albus just sent the letter back to me, unopened. No response, no angry howler, nothing.
And that hurt.
Scorpius had spent the entire time ignoring me. But it wasn't like he could go out either. He went to Al's house once, but came back in a huff, slamming the door closed. At dinner, Astoria started freaking out because he had a black eye and when she asked where he got it from, he said, "Potter."
And that was all he said at dinner that night. Later I heard Astoria telling Draco that Ginny had told her that Al and Scorpius had got in a fight in the front yard because Albus was pissed at Scorpius for hurting Rose and Scorpius was pissed at Albus because he called me a teasing bitch. When Louis tried to get involved in order to break them up, he ended up joining the fight, since Al once again accused him of hooking up with me, causing Scorpius to not only get pissed at Louis, but pissed at Al for thinking that I would ever cheat on him. And then apparently, Rose walked out of her house and saw and started yelling at them. She yelled at Albus for hurting me and beating up Scorp and Lou. She yelled at Louis for hooking up with me, hurting Alice and beating up Scorp and Al. She yelled at Scorp for lying to her and beating up Lou and Al.
And then somehow, the guys ended up fighting again, Rose yelling at them the entire time.
Ginny said that James ended up having to break them all up.
That's another person who wasn't speaking to me.
I saw him in Diagon Alley, when I was out, getting away from Scorp's cold shoulder and trying to get my mind off of the fact that I had single handedly ruined my entire friend group. I was in Flourish and Blotts, looking at a book when he walked in, Annalise holding onto his hand. I waved at him and he stopped moving, and just stood there staring at me.
I hesitantly walked up to him. "Hi," I said softly.
He grunted in response.
Annalise on the other hand, remained friendly. "Hey, Addie. What are you doing here?"
"Just trying to get my mind off of things," I said, shrugging. "Things aren't too great lately."
"And whose fault is that?" James asked, under his breath.
Annalise glared at him, warning him to keep his mouth shut before turning back to me. "I'm sorry. I know that it can't be easy for you. If you ever need someone to talk to, you can always talk to me."
And for the first time in six days, I smiled. "Yeah, I'd like that-"
"No," James said, interrupting me. "No. Absolutely, fucking no. There is no way that I'm letting you near this bitch."
"You do not control who is my friend and who isn't," Annalise said, her words short.
"Yeah, well you want to know what will happen if you become friends with her?" James said, his words harsh. "She'll screw you over. She acts like she's all innocent, like she would never hurt you, but she does! Look at what she did to Rose! Hell, forget Rose, look at all the hell that Al went through. The bloke fancies her for six years and all she does is yell at him and belittle him. And then they decide to become friends and once he makes the first move to show her how he feels, she runs into another guy’s arms! And then for two months, she goes back and forth between them, leading each of them on and making Albus jump through hoops so that he thinks he has a chance. But every time he thinks that he has one, she was right back in Caleb's arms. And then when she finally broke up with him and told Al that she feels the same way, she cheats on him! With our fucking cousin! She caused Al to be holed up in the house, not speaking to either of his best mates because she ruined everything!"
I looked down, feeling ashamed of all that I had done.
I was a bitch.
"James Potter," Annalise said, her voice firm. "Go outside. Now."
"I'm not leaving you with her," he said, as if I was going to attack Annalise.
"Well, tough," Annalise said. "You're going outside because you need to cool off. She made mistakes and maybe, just maybe she needs someone."
"She doesn't need anyone," James said. "She did this to herself."
"You're about to do a lot worse to yourself if you don't go outside right now," Annalise said, her eyes narrowing.
James looked down at her, a determined look on his face, telling her that he wasn't going to leave her with me.
"Potter," Annalise said curtly. "I'm perfectly capable to take care of myself. Now just go outside and I will deal with you later."
James cast a quick glance at me before looking back at Annalise. "Don't trust her."
"I won't if it will make you go outside," Annalise said.
James reluctantly went and he kept glancing back at us, making sure I wasn't going to hurt her.
He hated me.
My fake big brother hated me.
The thought brought tears to my eyes.
"Hey," Annalise said, resting a hand on my arm. "James didn't mean any of that. He's upset."
"Yeah, but too bad he's right," I said, looking up at her. "I did screw everything up. I put Al through hell. But I didn't cheat on him. I would never cheat on him."
"I know," Annalise said. "You don't seem like the type. Besides I saw you throw a drink in Veronica St. Clair's face because you were jealous that she slept with him last summer. There's no way you would have done that if you didn't care about him." I nodded, dumbly. "James is really protective of his family."
"I know," I said, looking out the window at James standing outside, looking in at us. "I remember when I was a part of that family."
"He'll forgive you," Annalise said. "He's a pain in the arse, especially when he's pissed or wants something, but he'll forgive you."
"I wouldn't be to sure of that," I said softly. "You should go. I'm sure he wants you to get back to your date."
"You sure?" Annalise asked and I nodded. "Look, just because I told James that I don't trust you doesn't mean that I don't. I do. And I meant it when I said that I would be here if you ever needed someone."
"That's nice," I said. "But I don't want to get in the way of your relationship with James."
"It'll give us something else to fight about," Annalise said, a small smile on her face. "We've been running out of things to bicker about and let's face it, James and I aren't James and I unless we have big explosive fights." She gave me a quick hug. "It will get better. I promise."
I nodded and watch her head out to James. He stood up straight when she arrived, glaring at her before saying something. It clearly pissed her off as she frowned and said something back, using wild hand motions. James argued right back with her, looking down at her and pointing at me through the window. Annalise rolled her eyes, saying something else, something that caused James to stop fighting with her. Annalise wrapped her arms around his neck, speaking to him, probably just solving the fight for them. I knew the fight was over when James smirked down at her, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her close. He said something, teasing her, before kissing her softly, a huge smile on his face. Annalise had the same smile on her face as well.
And I couldn't help but think that maybe they were perfect for each other.
They fought, got pissed off and made up. I got the feeling that no matter what happened between them that they could work through it.
They stopped kissing and James pulled her into a hug, resting his chin on top of her head. He looked around and when he saw me in the window watching, his smile turned into a hard glare.
I turned away quickly.
I didn't leave the Manor again after that.
"Are you sure you two have everything?" Astoria asked as we stood on Platform 9 and 3/4.
"Yes, Mum," Scorpius said. "Can I go now?"
"I won't see you for another six months," Astoria said. "Why are you in such a hurry?"
An awkward silence fell over us and I saw Scorp's eyes slide over to me before quickly looking away. Whether he was looking away because he was trying to make sure I didn't see or because I looked like a complete mess, I wasn't really sure.
I wasn’t lying when I said I looked like a mess. I had worn no make up. Every time that I had put some on, I ended up crying over something that reminded me of everything that I did, everything that I ruined, and the make up was streaming down my face. I decided that since this was before I saw anyone, that maybe I should avoid wearing make up because it'd probably end up on my cheeks within the hour.
Most days of going back to Hogwarts, I tried to look nice. Not today. I wore sweatpants with an large sweatshirt over it. And, despite everything telling me not to, I wore Al's shirt that Rose gave me a while ago. I knew it wasn't the smartest idea but I wanted to have some part of him- something that he wore- with me today.
He had been my strength when I needed him to be. He saw me at my worse and still cared for me.
I was so upset that I screwed that up.
"Fine," Astoria said, sighing. "Just let your father have a word with you and then come say goodbye."
Draco led Scorpius a few feet away before Astoria turned to me.
"Oh, Addison," she said softly. "How are you doing?"
I shrugged. "I've been better."
Astoria pulled me into a hug, stroking my unruly hair. "I'm so sorry baby. I'm so sorry about everything."
"Not your fault," I said into her shoulder. "It's mine."
"They'll come around," she said. "Everyone makes mistakes. But they'll come around. Scorpius most definitely will."
I looked at him, having a stern talk with Draco before burying my head into her shoulder. "I miss him."
"I know you do," Astoria said softly. "He'll come around. New Years Eve was a rough day for you."
I nodded and I heard the train whistle, signaling students to board.
Astoria pulled away, biting her lip. "Everything will be okay. I promise. If it's not, then let me know. If you need anything, whether it be about Scorp, Albus, Rose...even your mother, just let me know."
I nodded. "Have you heard from her at all? Matilda?"
"No," she said softly. "I made her leave all her information just in case but she hasn't tried to make contact."
"Well if you do hear from her," I said, wondering if I was making the right choice. "Tell her...tell her that it might be okay to try and contact me."
"Are you sure?" Astoria asked.
Slowly, I nodded. "A lot of people have left my life lately," I said quietly. "And I don't know if they're going to come back. But if they do, then I may as well let them back into my life. Through all of this I learned not to take people for granted. People always leave, so enjoy the time you have with them. And if they come back, like she did, then I may as well let her back in so that maybe, our relationship could be better than before. I'm scared of losing people. I want them in my life. Matilda wants me in hers and I would be lying if I said a part of me didn't want her in mine. I don't know who else would ever come back, but she did. And for that, I deserve to try."
Astoria nodded. "If she writes I'll let her know." She looked over at Scorpius before turning back to me. "And don't worry. People come back. And if they don't then it's their loss."
I pulled her back into a hug in order to hide my tears. "Thank you," I whispered softly, "for being the best mum I could ever ask for."
"I love you so much Addison," Astoria said, hugging me tightly. "You'll be fine. I know you will."
And for a second, I almost believed her.
I followed Scorpius onto the train. He was a few feet in front of me, but I was still following him.
Not that he noticed.
We were walking through the crowded train and I couldn't help but feel like everyone was looking at me.
Everyone was staring at me.
And Scorpius noticed too.
Well, I think he thought everyone was staring at him.
"What?" He asked loudly. "What are you bloody staring at?"
Everyone was quiet and continued looking at me. Scorpius turned, looking at all the onlookers before his eyes rested on me and I could see the confusion in them.
"Well?" Scorp asked, turning his gaze toward the crowed. "Anyone got anything to say?"
"How was New Years, Malfoy?" a Seventh Year boy called. "I'm not talking to you, Scorp. I heard little Addie was quite busy that night."
"Yeah, I heard that too," his friend said. "Heard that she was all over Potter and Weasley."
This can't be happening.
"No," I said softly.
"Hell, you want to know what else I heard?" one of them said. "That Weasley's girlfriend, Longbottom, walked in on her and Weasley doing it!"
"No," I said again, my eyes filling up with tears.
"You don't know shit," Scorpius said, his overprotective side coming in, despite the fact that we hadn't spoken in a week.
"Yeah, well, then I have some questions to ask you."
"What the bloody hell is going on here?" Rose asked as she pushed to the front of the crowd, Alice in tow.
"Ask away, arsehole," Scorpius said.
"Merlin, stop blocking the cooridor and move!" A new voice said. Lou's voice. He pushed himself to the front, clearly pissed off at the hold up. He paused when he saw that Scorpius and I were in the center. He sent me a questioning look and I responded with a shrug and looked around. Alice had apparently seen the exchange between Lou and I and her eyes narrowed.
"Is it true that you hooked up with Victoria St. Clair and then lied to Rose about it?"
At this point, Rose stopped trying to push people in order to get them moving. Instead, she froze in place, looking at the seventh year.
"I don't think that's any of your business," she said, her voice firm.
The boy smirked. "I'll take that as a yes."
"How about you back off?"
I closed my eyes at that voice.
I didn't realize how much I missed it.
"Well, it seems like we got the whole gang here!" The seventh year said. "We got Weasley and Longbottom, Malfoy and Weasley and Potter and Malfoy. All of you weren't together long. What caused of all of it to fall apart?"
I saw Al's jaw lock, Alice look towards Louis, Rose send a look in Scorp's direction and Scorpius to look down at me.
I caused all of it to fall apart.
"Because I heard," he said and I suddenly had the overwhelming urge to punch him in the face. "That it was because of Malfoy here."
"You don't know what you're talking about," Alice said, causing me to look over at her in shock.
She was defending me.
I had ruined everything for her and she was defending me.
"Oh, I don't?" The boy asked.
"No," she said. "You don't. And even if you did, then it wouldn't even be your business."
"Really, so Malfoy didn't hook up with Weasley?"
A hurt look passed across Alice's face and the boy smirked.
I turned and saw Caleb standing behind me, a concerned look on his face.
"What's going on?" He asked, eyeing the crowd. "Everything alright?"
"Well, looks like we got everyone here!" The boy said, eyeing Caleb. "We even got Malfoy's ex here."
Caleb sent me a questioning look and I'm guessing he could tell by the look on my face that everything was not alright.
"Don't you all have some place else to be?" Caleb asked, his Prefect voice coming in. "House points could be taken off for blocking off a part of the train. I've gotten many complaints about this. I suggest you all move if you want to hold the current rankings for the House Cup."
At the mention of house points, the group quickly dispersed, although I noticed that many people were staying around, but quickly left after glares from the seven of us.
Louis looked at Alice, as if he were debating whether or not to try anything, but Alice looked at him and quickly looked away, as if telling him not to even try. He walked away, his shoulders slumped, not looking back once.
Scorpius decided that instead of sending longing glances at Rose, decided that speaking to her would be better.
"Rose," he said. "Can we talk?"
Rose looked up, her eyes wide, and slowly shook her head. "No. That's not a good idea."
"No," she said firmly before walking away with Alice.
Scorpius looked after her and I could tell that it hurt him to have her reject him.
After I screwed everything up for him.
"Scorp," I said, softly, reaching out to him but he flinched away. "Scorp, come on-"
But he just walked away.
He didn't say anything. He just left.
Tears fell onto my cheek and I moved my gaze and saw Al staring at me, a concerned look on his face. I wanted nothing more than to run over and hold him and cry into his chest, telling him that I was so sorry and that I needed him.
However, before I could say any of that, he walked away.
And that's when I really started crying.
I felt Caleb grab my hand and pull me to his chest. I pushed him away saying, "You don't have to do this."
"I know," Caleb said, pulling me towards him.
And that was enough.
I ended up crying until I thought I couldn't cry anymore. When I went to walk away, Caleb told me that it'd be fine to sit with him and his friends. And though I had planned of finding a compartment to sit in by myself, I found myself agreeing to his offer and following him.
I knew them, of course, since I had spent time with them when Caleb and I were dating. I didn't know them as well as Caleb knew my friends, since for whatever reason we always spent more time with them.
I sat next to window, giving everyone a quick nod before turning to look out at the scenery. Someone told a joke and everyone laughed. I thought about how if New Years went differently, if I followed Al out right when he left his room, things would be completely different. I would be sitting in a compartment with all my friends. I wouldn't be with my ex boyfriend because he took pity on me.
And for about the fifty billionth time that week, I started crying.
I sat there, crying quietly, my head against the window, and I felt a hand grab mine, squeezing it tightly. I looked down and saw the Caleb's hand holding mine and I nearly started crying harder. None of my friends were here for me. I relied on my ex-boyfriend to tell me everything was going to be alright.
It was strange and a part of me worried that he was getting the wrong idea that he thought maybe we could get back together.
But when I glanced up at him, he gave me a small smile, telling me that it didn't matter what our past was. We were nothing more than friends and he knew that I needed a friend, so he was going to be here for me. Just like he always was.
And when I put my head back against the window and I heard Caleb go back to talking to his friends, I squeezed his hand tightly, using it as an anchor to know that even though my closest friends weren't speaking to me, as long as I had Caleb in my life, I would never be alone.
That night at dinner, I sat towards the end of the Gryffindor table, away from everyone. Many people had walked by, glancing at me, whispering, but none of them sat down.
Until Louis suddenly did.
"Well today sucked," Louis said, sitting across from me. "I thought that my worst life experience would be getting attacked by a wild dog and being worried that I was a werewolf. But no. Apparently having everyone I care about ignoring me and everyone who doesn't know shit telling me what a horrible person I am or how jealous they were that I've hooked up with two of the hottest girls in school, is really the lowest that my life can get." He put some meat on his plate. "People suck."
I stared at him, confused.
Why was he here?
Didn't he get that him being here meant that he wasn't helping our cases as not hooking up?
"Louis," I said. "You shouldn't sit here."
"What do you mean?" he asked, stuffing food in his mouth.
"I mean that you shouldn't sit here," I said and Louis continued to stare blankly at me. "Look, everyone, including the girl you fancy and the boy I fancy, thinks that we've hooked up. And we're not helping prove them wrong by sitting here."
Louis looked at me, a pleading look in his eyes. "You're the only friend I have right now, Ads."
"I know," I said, holding back tears. "You're the only person who doesn't hate me. But we can't do this. We can't hang out. At least for now." He looked down at his food. "Look you want Alice back, don't you?" He nodded. "I don't think she's going to take you back if she is thinking that you hooked up with me at New Years and then suddenly we're hanging out all the time."
"I guess," Louis said softly.
"Okay," I said, standing up. "I'm going to go to bed. I'm sorry, Lou."
Louis shrugged, looking down at his food.
I walked back to my dorm and pretended to be asleep when Rose and Alice walked in.
The bell rang, telling everyone to get to their next class. I was already in Defense, sitting in my desk. I had gone down to the kitchens for lunch, not wanting to sit and be stared at again. I hadn't gone to breakfast either, which a girl Caleb was friends with noticed and she invited me to eat with them. I considered going, but decided against it, taking the chocolate cake in the kitchens over typical lunch food.
I sat there, playing with my necklace that Al got me for Christmas. I had worn it everyday since, even though it had been a week since he broke up with me.
I was nervous. I didn't know what it was going to be like to sit next to him.
The class filtered in, and the longer it took Al to get there, the more nervous I got. I squeezed the A in my hand, nearly cracking my skin from the sharp edge.
Finally, Al walked in, one of the last stragglers. When I saw him, my heart started racing and I just wanted to kiss him. Going a week without kissing him was too long for me.
I ignored the fact that I would most likely not kiss him for a long time.
He sat down next to me, not even acknowledging my presence.
"Hey," I said.
He looked at me, his eyes conflicted, before they went down to my neck, eyeing the necklace. Unconsciously, my hand flew up to it, holding onto it tightly. He looked away, his jaw locked.
I turned away from him, feeling defeated.
"Why are you still wearing the necklace?" Al asked, his voice flat and his eyes on his desk.
"I wear it every single day," I said, softly, sneaking a glance at him. "Ever since you gave it to me."
"I used it to ask you out," he said, maintaining his flat voice and intense staring contest with the desk. "I used it to ask you to be my girlfriend and now you aren't, so you can take it off."
His words stung, but instead of backing down, as I had been lately, I kept talking. "I don't want to take it off," I said. "It means too much to me."
"And why does it mean so much to you?" His voice no longer flat. He looked at me, his bright green eyes that I loved so much staring accusingly at me. "Is it just an example of all the shit that you put me through?"
"No," I said, ignoring the pain in my chest. "That's not it-"
"Merlin, did you even feel anything for me?" Al asked and I noticed that there were people looking at us. "You lead me on the entire time you're with Caleb and then right when we get together you cheat on me."
"I didn't cheat on you-"
"Hello class," Teddy said as he walked in. "You all had a good break, I presume?"
Al turned toward the front of the classroom, away from me.
And I just couldn't be there anymore.
"Ms. Malfoy where do you think you're going?" Teddy asked as I walked toward the door, my bag over my shoulder.
"I..." I said, trying to hold back all the tears. "I-I can't. I'm sorry. I just...can't."
I ran out of the room, running away from the classroom and Al. I fell against a wall, sliding down it and started sobbing. I pulled my legs against my chest and held myself as tightly as I could, since no one else would.
I heard someone walk towards me and slide down next to me. I pulled my head up and looked next to me, to see Alice sitting there a concerned look on her face.
"Hey," she said softly. "You okay?"
"I just fucked up every single relationship I had with people I care about," I said. "I'm so far from okay."
She nodded and was quiet for a moment. "I'm sorry," she said softly.
"Why are you sorry?" I asked. "You didn't do anything wrong."
"I shouldn't have told Al what I saw," she said. "I shouldn't have called you a whore." She bit her lip. "I read all your letters. And I realized that what you said made sense. You and Lou...it shouldn't work. It doesn't work. I was just so upset but after all that happened yesterday and just now...I knew you wouldn't cheat on Al. The way you look at him shows that you don't want anyone else. And I ruined that for you."
"No you didn't-"
"Yes I did," Alice said. "I was just so upset and I thought I saw something that wasn't there. I saw something that would never be there, because it doesn’t make sense. You guys are like siblings.”
I nodded. "So are you going to back to him?"
Alice bit her lip, as if contemplating her answer.
"No," Alice said softly, shaking her head. "I'm not. If it wasn't you, which I know it wasn't, then it would have been someone else. I like him, I really do, but I have put myself out there with him and he has hurt me. And clearly, I don't trust him enough." She looked down, her eyes sad. "I don't want to be constantly worried that he's cheating on me. He did it once and I know he could do it again, easily too, since he's so bloody attractive and I just can't do that to myself. Or to him. He deserves someone who trusts him completely and isn’t afraid to give their heart to him and that just isn't me."
"I'm sorry for making you realize all that," I said.
Alice shrugged. "I would have figured it out anyway." She stood up. "I'm going to get back to class."
"Okay," I said, watching her walk away.
And I couldn't help but feel like maybe I didn't lose everyone.
On my very short list of things that I was excited about coming back to Hogwarts, Quidditch was most definitely toward the top.
However, I didn’t think it'd be like this.
"Malfoy, you could have made that!" James yelled at me when I missed yet another shot. "Merlin, are you trying to ruin this team as well?"
The entire practice was terrible. There was an extreme tension in the air, due to Al not speaking to Louis and Scorp, Louis not speaking to Scorp and Al, and Scorp not speaking to Al and Louis.
And of course everyone was not speaking to me.
Hugo, who I had thought I formed a special bond with, was back to his ways of not speaking to me. He did send me an encouraging half smile when I missed my first shot, but that was it.
Even Fred wasn't speaking to me. Fred, the ultimate Wotter Peacekeeper. He made James and Dom get along, which was really something. But he wasn't speaking to me.
James was the only one who spoke directly to me at practice. And even then, when he did, he yelled at me, saying that I wasn't running fast enough or that I was barely trying.
And he was right. I was off my game. Normally, Quidditch was my escape from my emotions. Everything I was feeling would be put toward throwing the ball harder, making sure that I made every single goal.
But I had suddenly lost every will too.
I flew back around, going close to the ground so Scorpius could try shooting, heading toward my spot so that we could restart play.
But then I felt something hit the back of my broom, sending me completely off balance and flipping my off my broom.
"Addie!" Louis yelled right before the bludger hit my broom.
"Fuck!" I yelled as I fell. My back slammed against the ground, causing all my breath to catch. I put my hand to my eyes, thinking that after all the shit that I had gone through the past week, falling, as if symbolizing my failures, was the last that I could take.
The boys landed on the ground before running over to me. I heard Scorpius swearing as he ran, with Louis behind him, spattering something about how he should have hit the bludger away from me and how he thought I wasn't going to be in the way.
But it was Albus that reached me first.
"Addie?" He asked, his voice full of concern. "Addie, are you okay?"
I felt my body tingle at the sound of his voice, along with tears rushing from my eyes. I covered my eyes, which were already clamped firmly shut, trying to stop all the emotions that were suddenly overcoming me.
"Ads," James said, his voice still firm. "Are you okay? Can you still fly?" I didn't say anything, knowing that if I did, my emotions would be out there for everyone to see. When I didn't say anything, James said, "Alright. Everyone get up in the air."
Everyone started walking to their brooms but I didn't move.
"I can't," I managed to get out.
"What do you mean you can't?" James asked.
Slowly, I got up, ignoring the dull pain in my back and the fact that my face was slowly becoming covered in tears, and looked at James.
"Quidditch," I said, my voice cracking. "I can't do it anymore." I looked around at all the boys, my boys, who weren't speaking at me before making my final decision "I...I quit." My tear ducts, despite being totally overworked the past week, managed to make even more tears appear. "I'm sorry."
I ran out of the Pitch and didn't look back. I ran up to my dorm, craving the only comfort I had left, my bed. I had screwed everything up for myself, I lost my best friend, I lost cousin, and I lost my Veela. I may have lost Alice but not completely.
And Al. I lost Al. Even though I hated to admit it, I missed him. His kiss, his hug, his laugh. Hell, I even missed all of our arguments, even the one at the Weasley's party at the end of the summer. I would give anything to have him back, to have all of it back.
The only thing I was looking forward to coming back to was Quidditch and now I had lost that as well.
As I crawled into my bed, I let the tears fall, letting the overwhelming feeling of nothingness come over me.
The last thing I remember before falling asleep was how I wished I could never leave my bed.
A/N: Here's chapter 21! A very depressing chapter if I say so myself. While very depressing, I did enjoy it.
So what did you guys think? Everyone was mad at her, which always sucks. Do you think she handled it well? And what about wonderful Caleb? I told you all he was going to be the good guy in the end.
Follow my blog! It is made only for my stories and I will be able to give you guys updates as to where I am in my writing, what will be written next and even SPOILERS! I post a lot on here about my writing so I hope to see you soon! So go to my author's page and follow the link, as I cannot post it here :D
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