Chapter 6 : The Call of the Western Rainbow Moose
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Peter, who’s burrito-wrapped in Sirius’s favorite bright pink comforter and lying on Lupin’s special memory foam mattress, sniffles, “I like cheese, I guess.”
Potter frowns and lays the giant circle of cheese next to Peter, then motions for me to talk to him in private right outside the dormitory.
“He didn’t even nomsh the cheese when I laid it down next to him! That kid is heartbroken!”
“Nomsh?” I look at him questioningly.
“Lily! This is not the time to question my use of the English language. YOUR friend seriously messed him up! Have you even talked to Cassie since all this?”
I looked at the floor. I hadn’t talked to Cassie; I’d walked to the infirmary while James brought Peter to their dorm, but when I got there she was asleep. And I just couldn’t wake her; she had this tired, restless look on her face. It was like she was exhausted, even though she’d played all of five minutes in the Quidditch game.
“No, I haven’t. I’m going to though, right now,” James nodded and I walked down the stairs.
Just as I stepped into the common room, I was forced to stop as a lamp flew by, narrowly missing my face.
“SIRIUS BLACK, YOU SNOG ME RIGHT THIS INSTANT!” I hear Melanie shout.
“Barrett! Calm yourself! AND STOP THROWING MULTIPLE LAMPS AT ME!”
Okay, so maybe Severus was a little right about my friends being freaks…
“Mel! Sirius! What is going on here?” I shout at the troubled pair.
“Sirius refuses to snog me anymore, even though he used to secretly make out with Cassie in broom closets before she liked Peter!”
Black sticks his tongue out at her, “Well Cassie was only using me because she was bored, but you use me to make my best friend jealous!”
“Do not!” Mel shouts back at him.
“Oh my God,” I sigh and just walk away. I had been given too much information to process within the last three hours. Was EVERYONE keeping secrets from me?
And so I didn’t go to the infirmary. I just walked. I walked around the entire castle, just taking in everything that I’d heard that day. Finally, when I’d pretty much gotten everything figured out, I ran into Ella.
“Lily Marie Evans! Are you confused too?”
“Yes! Did you know that-“
“Cassie dumped Peter?”
“Yeah and that-“
“Sirius cut off his and Melanie’s make out sessions?”
“I know! Oh and-“
“Cassie and Sirius used to snog in broom closets?”
“Yup, that’s pretty much it-“
“And Dorcas kissed Peter while he was dating Cassie?”
I look at Ella, “Er, no. I didn’t know that part.”
“Oh. Well, yeah,” Ella sighs dramatically, “It’s all too much!”
I give her a mischievous look, “Well, since all these other secrets are coming out, you might as well tell me who your secret love is…”
“Ellllll-uhhhhhh! Why not!” I whine.
“I’m sorry! I’m just not ready to tell anyone yet.”
I grunt, “No one tells me anything around here. I might as well go to the Gloo!”
Ella fakes a gag. The Gloo, slang for Gossip loo, is the Hogwarts gossip central. Every girl has gone in there at one time or another, but the Maraudettes are famed for having only gone in there once, in first year. It’s not surprising why girls always go in there; it’s actually kind of amazing. The Gloo is located in the girls’ lavatory closest to the Great Hall, the biggest one. Filch only cleans the graffiti off the walls in the bathrooms once every three months, which is just enough time for girls of all houses to fill it in with news. It’s like a library of gossip, all in perfect chronological order.
I stomped off in the direction of the Gloo, Ella close behind trying to talk me out of it.
“Lily, no! Don’t ruin our reputation because of some drama!”
“I thought the reason we even had that reputation was because we didn’t care about what people thought,” I retorted, never breaking my step.
I was just about to walk in to the infamous lavatory when I ran head-on into two other girls, knocking all three of us onto the floor.
Ella’s still standing, “Cassie? Melanie?”
That’s when I look over to see my two other best friends laying on the floor next to me.
The three of us look at each other guiltily; apparently I wasn’t the only one in search of answers.
“Let’s get away from this place.”
We sat in a circle on Melanie’s bed, like we’ve always done; even when our lives WEREN’T full of secrets.
“Sirius told me that he and Cassie used to be snog buddies,” Mel admitted.
“I knew that Dorcas kissed Peter and didn’t tell Cassie,” Ella adds on.
“I broke up with Peter because I’m afraid of commitment,” Cassie puts in her secret.
They all look over at me expectantly.
I frown, “I don’t know any secrets that everyone else doesn’t already know!”
“Well there is the fact that you’re secretly in love with James Potter,” Melanie says.
“MELANIE BARRETT, I WILL SMOTHER YOU IN YOUR SLEEP!” I shout at her for saying even that after I’ve told her a gazillion times that I do not have feelings for Potter.
“Hey hey hey now, Lily, let’s not get violent!” Mel puts her hands up in surrender.
“Urgh,” I grunt, “What day is it?” I realize that I’ve been so caught up in all this stupid drama I’d even forgotten what day it was.
“It’s still Thursday.”
The realization hits me, “Guys! We only have one school day left as fifth years before we leave on Saturday!”
They all nod, and Ella adds, “Hopefully sixth year will be a lot less dramatic.”
I look at her, and even though I completely agree with her, I can’t help but wonder a bit if that means she’s thinking about revealing the identity of her secret guy next year.
I yawn and realize just how late it is, “Guys, I’m going to sleep.”
Before I can hear their answers, I curl up right there on Melanie’s bed, completely exhausted. Half awake, I’m barely conscious enough to notice as my three best friends work together to pick me up and lay me down gently on my bed, pulling the covers up over me.
I have the best friends ever.
James Potter just threw a crumpled piece of paper at my head.
I’m going to kill him.
I whip around and glare at him, waiting for an explanation as to why he was throwing paper at me in the middle of our last potions class of the year. He looks at me and mouths, “We need to talk.”
I sigh, but nod in agreement.
“Lily, dear! Why don’t you take your eyes off Mr. Potter and put in your two cents on the subject?” Slughorn redirects my attention back to him.
“Sorry, Professor, Potter was just asking about the origin of the name of the Chartreuse Knuckles Potion. What was the discussion?” I quickly reasserted myself into Perfect-Student-Lily mode.
Slughorn smiles forgivingly, “I was just asking the students to tell us about their least favorite part of this class, for future reference.”
“My least favorite part was having to sit directly in front of James Potter for the entire time.”
The class laughs, and James looks offended at first, but then smiles, “Well at least I didn’t walk into class with James Potter’s Spiderman underwear in my purse!”
In the front of the classroom, Severus Snape falls out of his chair but gets up quickly, “Those were YOUR boxers that Lily chucked at me? OH GOD WHY-“
Sev runs out of the classroom shrieking, leaving the class in a slightly awkward silence. I interrupt it with a giggle that I just couldn’t hold in, and that triggers a roar of laughter from the whole class.
Professor Slughorn lets out a tiny chuckle, “Well, I believe that to be the best way to end your last potions class this year. You are dismissed!”
I pick up my books and start walking to my next class.
“Hey, Evans!” James calls to me to get my attention.
“What is it, Potter?” I ask, not even turning to look at him as he catches up to me. I was on my way to our last class of the day, Defense Against the Dark Arts, and I did not want to be late.
“I need to talk to you about the other night,” he says to me, and I look over at him. Well, up at him is more like it as he’s almost half a foot taller than me.
“What about the other night?” I ask as we walk into the classroom and sit down.
“Well I really need to tell you-“
“Mr. Potter!” Our freakishly old D.A.D.A teacher, Professor Manfred, interrupts him, “Today is my last day at Hogwarts, I would prefer it if you did not waste my time with your chit-chat!”
I smile at Potter. This was the second time in one day that one of us got in trouble because he was talking to me. Melanie, who’s also in this class, coughs at me, but I ignore her. I’m tired of her analyzing every little thing that happens between James and me.
“So, children,” Manfred continues, “Since this is your last class of the year, and my last class ever, I thought that we might have some fun. And so, today you shall each get a chance to show off your favorite spell. If you don’t have one, just do a spell that you think is fun. Now now, get in a line everybody.”
We all lined up, and of course I wound up right between Lupin and Mel. They stood on either side of me, trying to pretend they weren’t occasionally looking over at each other. Whenever they locked eyes they just tried playing it off as a glare.
“So Barrett,” Remus says to her, “I haven’t seen you and Sirius together in a while.”
“And I was just wondering why.”
“Well Lupin,” Melanie smirks, “Why are you so interested?”
He blushes, “I’m not interested… Just curious is all.”
I roll my eyes, “And you say I’m the one ignoring sexual tension,” they don’t hear me. Hmm. I could start quacking like a duck and they still wouldn’t hear me.
“Mr. Lupin, it’s your turn. And Ms. Evans, please stop imitating a Western Rainbow Moose.”
My face turns red, “I was quacking like a duck, sir.”
Professor Manfred sniggers, “I think I know what a Western Rainbow Moose sounds like. Now, Mr. Lupin, you can go ahead and perform whatever spell you’d like.”
Remus looks at Melanie and smiles as he slowly points his wand at her, “Rictusempra.”
Mel bursts into a fit of laughter as the tickling spell takes her over, and evens falls to the ground.
“Hm. She has a rather nice laugh when it’s not directed at the pain of others,” Lupins sniggers at her, but then releases the spell.
Melanie gets up off the floor, her hair in a mess, and glares daggers at him, “My turn,” She points her wand at Remus and his eyes go big in fear, “Tarantallegra!”
Lupin starts dancing ecstatically, obviously unable to control himself. The Cabbage Patch? Really? The entire class laughs at him, especially Melanie.
I’m just glad that she didn’t use an Unforgivable Curse with her temper. Finally, she lets him go, but is still laughing at him.
“Nicely played, Barrett,” Lupin winks at her and goes to the back of the line with everybody else.
Now it’s my turn. I just say, “Avis,” and a beautiful white dove flies straight out of my wand.
I smile as the dove Lily conjured flies around the classroom. I needed to tell her that I was the stag she’d talked to the other night, but every time I tried I was interrupted. Plus, it would be my turn soon, and I had no idea what I’d do.
“Oi, mate, what spell are you doing?” Padfoot asks from right behind me.
“No idea. You?”
“I’m going to summon the pizza I have under my bed.”
“Great thinking, I’m starved. What should I do though?” I ask my best friend.
“Go for the patronus, you’re good at that one.”
“Great idea,” I turn around, it’s my turn now, “Expecto patronum!”
My silvery stag appears, sexy as usual. I look over at Lily to see if she recognizes it from the other night, but she just looks at it as if it seems familiar to her. She must not be making the connection.
“I saw Wormtail in Transfiguration. How’d you get him out of bed?” Moony asks me after I go to the back of the line.
“I told him I’d buy him an energy drink and an industrial sized box of string cheese.”
“Prongs, are you mad? You know what caffeine does to the guy!”
I shrug, “It’s better than him lying in your bed all day and peeing into a bottle because he’s too sad to get up and go to the bathroom.”
Remus shudders, “I s’pose you’re right.”
Prof. Manfred interrupts our conversation, “Alright, class, it’s time to go! Have a lovely summer, and never try to contact me in my retirement. I mean it. You will not like what you discover. Ta ta now!”
We grab our book bags and start to walk out of class. Padfoot and Moony look over at me, and I wink as I pull on a string on the way out. I hear shrieks behind us as the entire class is filled with three day old sushi and the three of us high five each other at our last prank as fifth years.
A/N: So I kind of gave myself a tough time about this chapter because I couldn’t really shape what I had in mind, but I’m very excited about what’s to come in future chapters. And trust me, they will probably come. Well, I promised you a character picture of Hogwart’s Drama Queen, and so here is Ella Moore!
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