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Chapter 29 : The Letter
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Rose looked over to her bedside table where the letter sat collecting dust inside the drawer. It was three in the morning and she had given up hope on trying to go to sleep, so she just let her thoughts get the best of her and take over.
A part of her really did want to read it but there was a part of her that feared what it would say. Regardless she knew that the longer she continued to have that letter unopened, the more guilt she would feel about Scorpius, something that she hoped he hadn’t picked up on.
Yes she loved him, but that didn’t mean that she didn’t regret what had happened and how she went about presenting it to her parents. She had to put herself in their shoes, there was absolutely no reason for them to even suspect that she was dating Scorpius or that they were even friends. Although she had to admit that her father’s reaction probably wouldn’t have been that much different. Her mother on the other hand was a surprise, Rose knew that her mother didn’t accept her relationship, there was just too much bad history there for her to, but she knew that her mother wanted to spare her from anymore turmoil so for that reason she kept her opinion quiet, knowing that her father had gotten the message across a bit more crueler than she would have liked. Her mother’s response was something that Rose was very grateful for.
Another issue with that stupid letter was what Albus had said the night he gave it to her. Something about that night stuck with her. She would stay up for hours thinking about Albus’ last question. The one about who she really was, Rose would go through every rationale part of her mind arguing who she was. She would star with what she like, that was simple, but then it got harder with questions such as why did you break up with Ben? Because I didn’t love him. She would answer easily. But then those question would become more complex But you never loved him so why did you stay with him for so long? And if she was being honest to herself that night the answer would be because he was a good fit and people liked them together. And that would lead to the bigger question why did she sacrifice herself to please people? I don’t know was always the response.
As for Scorpius, Rose saw him as her first real rebellious act, he was the first thing that she had ever aloud herself to have that was for herself, knowing that there was going to be issues with the relationship and at the time she didn’t care. She was willing to take on those issues and fight them, but now was different. Actually experiencing it and going through hell day in and day out wasn’t as easy as she thought it would be. Not that she thought it was going to be easy, but she did think that she would be stronger to handle it, that she was composed enough to hide her true feelings and just ignore everything until people got over it. Which at the time that all this started was probably true, but being with Scorpius had softened her. He peeled back her layers one by one to see the true her and now she was raw. Worse than that she wasn’t entirely sure that she liked who she was now that she didn’t have a direct plan or clue as to who she was or where she was going.
Sitting up in her bed she leaned over opening the drawer, carefully pulling out the latter attempting to not make any sound and wake Lisa or Jill. Gripping the letter tightly she closed the curtains around her bed and lit up the area with her wand.
The letter looked the same as it did before, intimidating and cruel. Raising her finger up to the seal she paused, taking a cool shaky breath in the moment. Gaining her courage to face her father’s words she peeled back the seal to read what was inside.
"Damn it Vivian” Scorpius said loudly watching as Vivian lowered her head.
“You don’t have to scold me I already feel bad enough as it is.” She said softly, having expected this reaction to telling Scorpius everything.
“You are certifiably insane.” He said flicking off a piece of lint from his emerald green pajamas.
“You think I don’t know that.” Vivian argued dropping her head into her hand “The problem I have now is that I don’t know what to do about it.”
He wasn’t quite sure what was so urgent that Vivian had to wake him up at two in the morning to tell him but after the story that she had told he was a bit shocked that she had told him at all. For Vivian to come to him and tell her everything took a type of courage that he hadn’t known to exist in her and for that he was willing to help her and forgive her. “Does Bryan know how you feel?” he asked quietly.
Vivian gave him an evil look “Where you not listening to my story. I don’t even know how I feel.”
“Frankly I was a bit more preoccupied by the fact that you stalked my girlfriend for week.” Scorpius crossed his arms.
“Yeah, sorry about that.” She said meeting Scorpius’ eyes.
Scorpius lowered his own head now, “Don’t be sorry, this isn’t entirely your fault. If I hadn’t led you on for so long and convinced you out of dating every guy that you ever liked we probably wouldn’t be in this situation right now.” He looked at Vivian and saw that she was shocked by his last comment and not exactly in the mood to talk about it he asked “So what are you going to do about Bryan?”
Vivian took a deep breath, “I’m not sure what I can do, that will make him forgive me, I mean a part of me does like him but I just can’t give him what he wants.” She paused to think “Not right now that is.” They sat in silence for a moment.
Deciding to change the subject she asked quietly “How are you and Rose anyways, haven’t had a chance to actually talk about it with you screwing up your life and me royally messing up mine.”
Scorpius sighed “She’s distant.” He said slowly leaning back into the couch.
“I thought things were getting better for a while.” Vivian questioned, confused.
“I thought so too, but something has changed. She’s hiding something from me, I can feel it.” He looked away from Vivian’s concerned stare. “Don’t give me that look.” He said sharply.
“What look?” Vivian questioned “I’m not giving any kind of look.” She tried to hide the fact that she was a bit nervous about what Scorpius had said.
“You're looking at me as if you’re worried.” He said a bit harshly.
“Well when you tell me that your girlfriend is hiding something from you I’m going to become worried.” Vivian said defensively.
“Well don’t be, it’s all going to work out fine.” Vivian could hear the concern in Scorpius’ voice as he said that last sentence, but seeing as how she was probably walking on thin ice right now with Scorpius she thought it best to not push him on the subject and piss him off.
Rose only narrowed her eyes, telling her to lower her voice. “Yes I read it.” She hissed back, her nerves a bit on edge. Rose wasn’t sure why but she had to tell someone about the letter and she was driving herself mad over it and she knew that Stacy would keep it a secret and only listen to her.
“And?” Stacy pushed.
“And what, I read it.” Rose stated not giving too much information about what it said. The letter was sincere and honest which was probably the most heartbreaking thing about it.
Rose must have read it a thousand times between last night and this morning and she still wasn’t sure what to make about it. She had memorized the letter, every crease, every smudged marking that indicated that her father was writing a bit quickly and she knew that he had put some thought into it. This wasn’t something that her mother made him write, it was done all on his own consciousness.
My darling Rosie,
You must know that I do not hate you, nor could I ever hate you, however as your father I am disappointed in you. You are a smart girl and you had to know what getting in this relationship with this boy was going to do to your family and the fact that you still continued to do so in full awareness hurts me in more ways than I ever thought possible.
I swore from the day you were born that I was going to protect you, and if plotting you against the Malfoy boy was my mistake I take full responsibility for it, but you must know that I did it out of protectiveness. Rose Weasley you are my daughter and for that I will always try to protect you from harm’s way, regardless of if you like it or not.
With that being said let me explain my reasoning for not liking the Malfoy boy, because it is so much more than his name, or his family. The fact of the matter is that he has hurt you, he has physically hurt you and there were points when me and your mother had discussed pulling you from Hogwarts all together for the sole purpose of keeping you away from Scorpius Malfoy, out of fear that one day one of your fights would go too far and one or both of you might be seriously injured. Scorpius Malfoy has permanently placed a fear inside me that is always going to be worried about you if you are with him.
My second reason is that this boy has changed you. I’m sure that it is not intentional but he has. Rose you hid this relationship from your family out of fear of our reactions. That is not the Rose Weasley I raised, you have never kept anything from me and your mother and the fact that you were so worried about our reactions tells me that a part of you is ashamed of this boy and your actions.
Rose we raised you to accept the consequences of your decisions, not to hide from them, and until this boy came into your life you never did.
I will always love you but the Rose Weasley that you have become is someone that I do not respect because I know that you are better than this. Better than cowering behind your choices and feeling guilty for your mistakes. You may have changed but I know you and I know in the end you will do the right thing.
Now I didn’t write this letter to scold you or even hurt you I wrote it to give you my opinion and to reassure you that whatever decision that you make you are not going to lose your family, but if you choose Malfoy your relationship with us will be changed forever and I don’t want that to happen and I would hope that you didn’t want that to happen either. I wish that I wasn’t the one putting you in this situation and that I could approve of him because I only want you to be happy but I can’t, a part deep inside me will not allow me to accept him and I’m not sure what he or you can say or do that will change that.
I can’t be the one to tell you what the right choice is now, but I can give you some advice that may help you through life whatever your decisions may be, don’t be ashamed of them and most certainly don’t feel guilty about them. I know that you will regret plenty of the decisions you will make, but what matters is that at the end of the day you are proud of the choices that you made and that you support them.
I love you and I have given my reasons for not approving of Scorpius Malfoy. Now it is time for you to make a decision because you can’t have it both ways you either support your family or you support him but at the current moment in time you can’t do both.
Always Your Loving Father,
“So what are you going to do about it?” Stacy asked not prying into what was in it.
“I’m not sure,” Rose said softly. Thinking she asked slowly “Is it wrong to say that if I choose Scorpius I will feel guilty about it for the rest of my life?”
“A little bit,” Stacy answered honestly.
Rose lowered her eyes so that she was looking at the floor “But is it wrong to also say that if I don’t choose Scorpius that I think I might regret it for the rest of my life?” she asked remembering what he father said about regretting many decisions, but she wasn’t sure if this was one that she wanted to regret.
Stacy wasn’t sure what to say so she joked “Just screw them both,”
Rose looked at Stacy and smiled with a small laugh “That still doesn’t help me any.” She said.
“Yeah but then you wouldn’t have to choose.” She said noticing how this was the first time she had seen Rose smile a genuine smile in a long time, then she watched her quickly change it almost as if she felt guilty about it.
“Rose,” Stacy said “I’m afraid I’m not going to be much help, all I know is that we leave here in a couple of months and then were all going to have to make some tough decisions.”
Rose leaned over and hugged Stacy. She knew that during this past year their friendship had been rocky but she was grateful that she was here now and that she was willing to still put up with all her drama.
Not long after that Rose left Stacy saying that she had to go to the library but honestly she just wanted some time alone to think. She felt as if she was torn in half and she knew it wasn’t fair to anyone for her to keep dragging this out. She had to make a decision and she had to make it today.
Anyways as for the sequel. I have decided to write it and let me tell you I was so on the fence about this but the more I got to thinking about it the more I wanted to write it because I feel like it if I sum it up in the epilogue that you are missing a huge piece of their story. Now some information about it I have not come up with a title but I will give it to you towards the end, it will not be near as long as this one and my updates will probably be more like how I’m updating now on a monthly bases unless I can get the chapters written sooner and then I will update sooner. I’m thinking it will be a Novell maybe between 12-15 chapters, might be less. The sequel will be taking place about 6 years after their seventh year.
So anyways that’s all I know right now and thank you so much for reading, please review :)
Only 4 chapters to go.
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