Chapter 15 : Of stupid and selfish things
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“Go ahead and make me cry, I’ll be alright. When you need a place to run to, for better, for worse, I got you” I got you – Leona Lewis.
“Smile,” called Lola as she pointed her camera in the direction of Mimi and I.
We were all currently sunbathing by the lake. This Saturday was one of the rare days where the sun made an appearance and we were taking full advantage of it.
“Lily,” I said as I got up and sat by the edge of the lake, dipping my feet in. “take off that bloody caftan and try and get a proper tan.”
Lily looked affronted “I’ll burn; it’s quite hot out today.”
“You won’t, c’mon Lils,” said Mimi, joining me by the lake.
Lily grumbled but slid out of her caftan and came and sat by Mimi.
“Lola, come on, the lakes quite warm today.” I called.
“Oh really?” said a voice in my ear. Before I could turn around and confirm who it was I was being lifted up and thrown half way into the lake. As I emerged out of the water I saw that Lily and Mimi were both spluttering and shaking the water out of their hair, having been thrown in as well. I rubbed the water out of my already stinging eyes with the palm of my hands and saw the marauders doubled up on the bank of the lake, laughing.
“SIRIUS ORION BLACK” I screamed, wading through the lake and hoisting myself onto the bank. Lily and Mimi followed my lead, looking equally as thunderous.
I heard Lily shouting obscenities at James Potter and saw Mimi playfully hit Remus before he leaned in to kiss her. Oh god, those two were so disgustingly in love.
I turned back to Sirius and saw that he was watching me with a smug smirk on his face.
“Wipe that smirk off your face, Black,” I said, giving him a stony glare.
“Oh come on! It was funny,” he said, taking a few steps closer of me.
I gave him one last look of contempt before walking back over to where the others were sitting. Lola was laughing at Lily shooting glares at a terrified James while Mimi and Remus were sitting a little away from the group, talking.
I slipped on my cover-up and sat down beside Lily following her lead of shooting glares at Sirius.
“I guess now that we’ve jumped in the lake the bet dare is invalid, even though you haven’t been up to our dorm,” said Mimi, as her and Remus joined us.
“Oh, I don’t think so,” said James “you didn’t jump in, we pushed you and today it was warm so it’s not like it was a punishment.”
“And I wouldn’t mind seeing that again, not ganna lie,” said Sirius and I threw my sun cream bottle at him.
Sirius just laughed which aggravated me more and he knew it.
“In any case, you haven’t managed to get up to our dorm which means that you’ll be the ones jumping into that lake, not us,” said Lily, knowingly.
“That’s where you’re wrong, Lily,” said James trying to hold in laughter.
Lily narrowed her eyes “So you’ve found a way?”
“Ask us no questions and we’ll tell you no lies,” said Sirius.
“Where’s Peter anyway?” asked Lola.
“Er, he’s um--” started James, coughing.
“You know, he’s doing that thing--” tried Sirius.
I arched my eyebrows at Lily and she stifled a giggle.
“He’s in the library finishing off his Transfiguration, he’s got a lot of homework this weekend,” said Remus, calmly, rolling his eyes at his best friends.
“Yeah, he’s there,” said James backing Remus up.
“For some reason I don’t believe you three,” said Mimi, suspiciously.
Remus just kissed her again before she could ask any more questions.
“Nice save,” said Mimi.
“Anyway, shouldn’t you two be with your girlfriends instead of throwing innocent people in lakes?” I asked, nonchalantly.
“Well, actually,” started Sirius, glancing at James who became suddenly interested in the hem of his t-shirt.
“What?” asked Lily, intrigued.
“We broke up.”
WHAT? At the same time? Sounds a little fishy to me, Jem. Said my subconscious.
“Both of you broke up with your girlfriends at the same time?” I asked, for once listening and agreeing with my subconscious.
“Not exactly, I broke up with Katy on Thursday and Padfoot broke up with Mya yesterday,” said James, looking at Lily assessing her reaction.
“Oh.” Was all I could manage.
“Well, I think it’s time for a game of British bull dog,” said Mimi, standing up.
“Shotgun not bulldog,” said Remus.
“I honestly don’t believe that they broke up with their girlfriends,” said Lily in disbelief as we walked into our dorm.
“I know, it seems a little suspicious, it was around the same time. It was almost as if they were planning it,” said Lola, wisely.
I plonked myself down on my bed and began drying my hair with a towel.
“How do you think Katy’s taking this?” I asked, laughing, a vision of her maniacally breaking things in her dorm.
“She’s probably plotting the death of James Potter,” said Lily, dryly.
“Try you,” said Mimi “get ready for a sneaky hexes coming your way at cheerleading practise, Lils.”
“Sure, sure,” said Lily.
“Girls, I thought this afternoon we could finish off the dorm, like the expanding part and furniture should be easy enough,” said Mimi.
“Yeah, sounds good, I want my dressing table and fire place!” I said, excitedly.
Any further excitement was put on hold as Lola gasped.
“What?” I asked, going over to where she was standing.
“Look at this.” She plucked an envelope off the wall that wasn’t there when we left.
Mimi took if from her and held it out so we could all read what is said on the envelope; “LOOK WHAT I FOUND WHILE STUDYING THE NIGHT SKYS, THOUGHT YOU GIGI’S MIGHT FIND IT INTERESTING.”
“Well?” said Lily, impatiently “open the envelope.”
Inside were two photos.
One was Owen Murray with a girl behind greenhouse three, they were kissing and laughing.
The other was Amos Diggory and a girl from Ravenclaw, I couldn’t name her, at the edge of the Forbidden Forest up against a tree, snogging as thought their lives depending on it. You wouldn’t know it was them if they didn’t pull apart and look around the grounds to see if anyone was coming.
“This can’t be true,” whispered Lily, her eyes filled with tears. “Can it?”
Where could he be?
I stormed past the Great Hall, where lunch was just finishing, and in the direction of the Hufflepuff’s common room.
I knew roughly where it was but didn’t know exactly which painting or wall it was behind.
I was so angry, I didn’t care. I had to find him and make sure it was a joke or it was an old picture. Something that would make this unworthy feeling go away, I just felt so used and betrayed.
I saw a blonde girl coming towards me and stop at a suit of armour.
“Hey, you,” I called out angrily at her. She looked around in alarm.
“Y-yes, Jemini?” she stuttered.
I approached her and said “Are you in Hufflepuff?”
“Y-yes” she gulped.
“Well go in and get Amos Diggory, please,” I said and she quickly said the password and stumbled into the common room.
Five minutes of pacing up and down the corridor later, Amos strolled out of the common room with a smirk on his face.
“Heather told me you were looking for me, Jem,” he walked over to me and attempted to grab my waist and pull me towards him. I pulled away and he looked confused.
“Explain this to me.” I pushed the picture in front of his nose. He squinted at it and his eyes widened.
“Jem, I promise this isn’t me, well it is me, but I didn’t do that, I don’t know how you got this.”
“Amos, this is full proof, it’s a fucking picture, so please explain it to me,” I said through gritted teeth, tears streaming down my face.
“Jem, I don’t know how you got this,” he said softly, looking at me “I don’t even know who this girl is, I would never cheat on you, you have to believe this.”
“Amos, it’s hard to believe that when I’m looking at this picture and-”
“Pictures can be doctored!” he erupted angrily.
“I know your reputation, Amos!” I said, equally as angry.
“My reputation?” he asked in disbelief.
“Womanising, I should have seen this coming,” I said before attempting to walk away.
He grabbed my arm and pulled me back “I don’t know what you’ve heard about me, Jem, but I would never cheat on anyone, especially you.”
The girls were all sitting on Lily’s bed in silence. The only sound was Lily’s sobs.
They all looked up as I walked in.
“He said it was fake,” I said, answering the unsaid questions.
“So did Murray,” said Lily, softly “but I don’t believe it, it’s a picture, it can hardly be fake.”
“I know,” I whispered, dropping down onto my bed and staring up at the canopy of my four-poster.
‘Look, you two aren’t sitting here moping around over two losers who are two’s on our scales anyway,” said Mimi standing up.
“You said he was a 10 when he asked me out,” said Lily, amused.
“Well he’s a 2 now,” said Mimi, briskly.
“Let’s get your minds off of it,” said Lola “we should start the redecorating it would be a good way to pass time up to dinner.”
“I don’t want to eat,” I said.
“Nonsense,” Mimi picked me up off my bed “now where shall we put the fireplace?”
I thought, why not? It’ll help me get over this whole ordeal.
“Right” said Lily, wiping her eyes and getting up “this expanding spell, are we able to be in the room when we perform it or does it have to be empty?”
“This is fucking fantastic,” exclaimed Mimi, clapping her hands.
We all looked around our new dorm.
It looked like a bloody apartment, except without bedrooms. It was actually so much better than I expected. We had just finished moving the beds apart so we had more space.
“Look at this view,” said Lily, looking out of the new window.
“We’ve always had this view Lils,” said Lola.
“I know, but I’ve never been able to enjoy it properly before.”
“Oh god, and these chairs,” said Mimi, sitting in one of the squashy reading chairs in the corner.
“This dressing table,” I said in amazement, looking at all of our make-up lined up on it.
Mimi dragged Lily and me to dinner as we really didn’t want to run into Amos or Owen. When we sat down at the Gryffindor table we kept our heads down so that they wouldn’t come over and try and talk to us.
“Hello girls.” I jumped about a foot in the air at the sound of a boy’s voice even though I knew it was the marauders.
They didn’t seem to notice and James went on to talk to Lily “Oh Lils, I’m so sorry about Murray.”
Lily’s eyes narrowed.
“We can beat them up for you if you want, those tossers,” said Sirius, looking at me.
“Honestly, I would like nothing better than for you two to beat them up,” said Lily “but first, you can explain to me and Jem how on earth you know about it?”
Their eyes widened and they began stuttering.
“We heard from—that girl—rumours, you know how it is.” Sirius spat out.
“Well, you see—I found out—Remus, actually found out—well not exactly Remus but his friend--” James said, uncomfortably after receiving glares from Remus who didn’t seem to happy about his name being dragged into it.
“Do you want to know what I think?” asked Lily, not waiting for a response “that this was all a set up and they didn’t cheat on us.”
“Why would you think that, I mean, there’s proof,” said James, hesitantly.
Lily gritted her teeth and stood up “I think you two twits went and found that boy in Ravenclaw and got these pictures doctored!”
It all made sense now. I honestly couldn’t believe that they would resort to such measures to get those boys out of our lives. That hurting us wouldn’t matter as long as we didn’t have boyfriends.
“Lily, we didn’t-” started James, standing up.
“I don’t want to hear it. You’re despicable, Potter.” She spat before angrily walking out of the hall, pushing a second year out the way in the process.
James sat down defeated and stabbed his food moodily.
I stood up in an attempt to follow Lily but Sirius said “Jem, don’t be upset, please.”
“Are you being serious? And don’t try make a joke about the pun.” I snapped.
He fell silent as a clambered over the bench and made my way through the doors and down the corridor. I didn’t even hear Sirius’ footsteps behind me and only realised when he grabbed my hand and pulled me into a broom closet.
“Get off me,” I screamed, shaking his arm off.
“Would you calm down?” he said, moving so he was blocking the door.
“Sirius, move,” I said, attempting to shove him out of the way. He didn’t budge even an inch.
He smirked at my feeble attempts to move him.
“Oh fuck off with your bloody smirking,” I said, turning away from him.
He pulled my waist so that I was facing him again.
“I’m so sorry, Jem.”
I shook my head “I just can’t believe you actually did that, you planned it and went through with it and I just don’t understand what was going through your mind when--”
“You want to you know what was going on in my mind?” asked Sirius and without waiting for my answer, continued. “I was thinking about Diggory with his arm around you and you having a boyfriend who wasn’t me. I know what Diggory’s like, Jem.”
“YOU GOT A GIRLFRIEND FIRST!” I screamed at him, unable to stop myself.
He looked a little taken aback but composed himself “I didn’t know it would turn out like this.”
I sighed “I don’t understand how you and James could be so manipulative.”
“Jem, we were willing to go to these lengths to get you away from your boyfriend so that we had a chance, do you not understand what this means?”
“I understand, Sirius, I do,” I said, looking into his eyes. “But this was too much; did you not think that Lily and I would be hurt? Did you not care about our feelings?”
He didn’t respond so I continued.
“We thought you’d just come and talk to us and tell us it had gone too far. It didn’t have to come to this. You have to realise that you haven’t just hurt us you hurt Amos and Owen too.”
“I don’t give a shit about them.”
I rolled my eyes “Sirius, I should go and find Lily.”
“Wait,” he said “Do you forgive me?”
I licked my lips and said “I don’t know if I can, right now.”
He closed his eyes before saying “but you will, right?”
“Yes, once I completely understand what compelled you do such a stupid and selfish thing.”
Later that night the boys were all in their dorm.
James was brooding on his bed, reading his copy of Quidditch through the ages, edition 21. It was the only thing that helped him when he was angry or upset.
“Prongs, stop sulking and come over here and look at the map so we can go to the kitchens,” said Remus.
“I don’t want to go to the kitchens,” said James sounding like a 5-year-old.
“Lily will forgive you, prongs. Don’t worry about that,” said Peter.
“This time we went too far,” replied James.
Sirius lying on his bed staring at the canopy of his four-poster.
“Jem said that she would forgive me eventually, she couldn’t at the moment. She’ll convince Lily if she needs it, trust me mate.”
James heaved a heavy sigh.
“You know, if you two are ganna brood all night, we can’t plan the dorm invasion,” said Remus, in a singy voice.
James sat bolt upright.
“We still doing that?” he asked, wildly.
“Course we are,” replied Remus, calmly.
“You up for it?” asked Peter.
“Hell yes,” said Sirius, bounding off his bed and over to where Remus and Peter were sitting.
“That’s the spirit,” chuckled Remus.
“When?” asked James, still a little upset.
“Let’s say Wednesday? The girls would have cooled down and forgiven you by then,” said Remus.
“Yeah, sounds good,” said Sirius “during dinner?”
“Won’t it look suspicious if we all aren’t at dinner?” asked Peter.
“We miss dinner at least once a week planning pranks and whatnot, it will be fine,” said James.
“Already sounding like your old self, Prongs,” said Remus, with a smile.
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