When I was nine, my cousin James predicted that I was going to be in Azkaban by my twentieth birthday. I had just grabbed our cat, Milkshake, and thrown him in some hair remover I found in the bath, followed by picking him up by his tail and swinging him around nicely a couple times before I flung him about the yard. James had been watching me and was keen to tell me that I'd 'find myself in Azkaban before I could say Higginbotham.' (I don't know exactly why James used that particular word, I supposed he'd heard it on the television, or maybe it was just because he is, and has always been, a strange boy.)
Now, I know what you're thinking: Milkshake is a terrible name for a cat. Yes, I agree. When you find an orange tabby cat under your house, why must the first thing you say to yourself be 'I'll name you Milkshake!' (After all, why name your pet after something you eat?) My younger brother Hugo named him when he was four (Hugo was four, not the cat). This was my first indication that my little brother should either never have children, or let his wife come up with the name or names. Otherwise, I'd end up with a nephew named Abyss and my niece (the twin of Abyss, of course) will be called Alaska. So, seeing as I do not wish to be the aunt of twins named Abyss and Alaska Weasley, the naming of my dear brother's children shall be left up to his wife.
After this incident I was quick to tell James how wrong he was (I also used a few choice phrases of my dad's, but then mum heard and had a fit about it), and made it known to him that I would in fact never end up in Azkaban like some kind of low-life prisoner. We even made a twenty galleon bet as to whether or not I would end up in Azkaban by said birthday. Of course when I was nine I was absolutely positive that I would certainly be winning this bet.
Life sure does have an odd sense of humor.
Because as of this moment, I'm sitting on the floor of a twelfth story cell in Azkaban prison.
So, being as I'm still a fair couple years from being twenty, I owe James Potter twenty galleons.
I do believe this must be at the top of my to-do list when I get out of here. Forget hugging my parents, proving my innocence and eating my weight in glad-you're-home-and-not-in-Azkaban-like-a-ruddy-criminal strawberry cake. No, the first thing I will be doing when I'm released from this place (which smells like Hippogriff dung, I might add), is handing James a nice big sack of galleons.
See, one must have their priorities in order. Being in Azkaban for a crime you didn't commit is no excuse for neglecting priorities such as giving your filthy-rich-because-his-daddy-defeated-the-darkest-wizard-of-all-time cousin the twenty galleons you lost in a bet when you were nine.
Well, by this point you've probably developed two very different questions in your brain about me.
Number one, quite probably the more obvious (you see, I've been asked this so many times that it really hasn't an affect on me) is: What is wrong with you? Ah, now this is an age old question. As a matter of fact, I've been asked this question a grand total of about four hundred and thirty nine times in my life. The answer still remains unknown. Personally, I blame my dad. After all, he chose my brother's middle name: Sebastian. Did he think my little brother was secretly part red crab? I mean, for Merlin's sake, he didn't even have red hair. Yes, my brother had seemingly inherited brown hair from my mum, (believe me, when I was between the ages of four and five I asked mum nearly a million times where she'd gotten him. She called him Hugo Weasley, but all Weasleys had red hair, you see.) , but by the time his sixth birthday rolled around, he was a complete red head, like the rest of our lot.
Now, back to my point, the answer to that question has yet to be answered, but the prime suspect in this ongoing investigation is my father. I have been told, after all, to 'keep a watch on those gingers'...
The second thing you're probably wondering is why in Merlin's name is perfect prefect (no - I wasn't stuttering) Rose Weasley in Azkaban Prison, complaining in her own head like a mental human being. The answer to this question, however, is easy: Teddy is 'in love' (he is wrong) with Victoire Weasley - my seemingly perfect cousin, who everyone seems to think must be able to walk on water. Don't get me wrong, I love my cousin to pieces. We're best mates. Well, that might be pushing it a bit far, but we are still civil to one another.
You see, My Teddy (as he will be called after our wedding day) decided to announce to the family about a month ago (you lose track of time in dingy prison cells) that he and Victoire are getting married. (You'll just have to wait in line for a bucket, I know it's revolting - the idea!) Now, since My Teddy and I are meant for one another (age is but a number after all), this put a damper on our wedding plans. So I, as any logical person would do when an engagement is announced, announced I was moving to Guam and left the room. Nothing bad happens in Guam, after all.
Needless to say, a few hours later I was in Hogsmeade and was drowning sorrows in firewhiskey (as one stupidly does when they are distressed, really nothing good comes of the beverage. Get water. Water is good.)
I left the pub around three a.m. (when people start charming chairs to fly out from under people's backsides) and as I was sobking home (you see, 'sobking' is the mixture of sobbing and walking), I came across a sight I wish to have never seen: My Teddy. On the ground. Shaking and bleeding. He'd clearly been attacked, but by whom I was not sure. I was frantic at this point and started screaming, using my hands to stop the blood. (I'm truly useless in emergency situations; I didn't even remember my name, much less that I had a wand.)
Minutes later I found myself being drug away by large men while a crowd formed around My Teddy. People screamed "MURDERER!" in my direction from all around. And then I was taken to Azkaban and was thrown in to this lovely cell. Cell number 75942.
To the crowd, and everyone else who had either ears or eyes, I was responsible for what happened to Teddy Lupin - My Teddy.
About a week of so-depressed-I-can't-eat-sleep-or-cry-anymore-because my-life-is-ruined silence later I was informed that My Teddy had, by some miracle, survived.
That didn't lessen the trouble I was in.
I was being charged with attempted murder, along with 'other things' that I was to be told about at my trial in a few months. This trial would determine if I would spend the very rest of my days in this lovely cell.
And to think, none of this would have happened if Victoire Weasley had never come in to the picture.
So, really, this is entirely her fault.
Of course, the Ministry of Magic doesn't see it that way. Apparently since I was the one found over Teddy, I had to be the one to blame.
Clearly Minister Shackelbolt has never been in love. If he had, a different Weasley would be in a cell. But, since he has never been in love with someone, I assume he has about thirty or so lizards at the moment, he doesn't strike me as a cat person. Thus, I am in a ruddy cell.
I haven't been allowed any contact with my family since being thrown (yes, literally) in to this cell. For all I know, they haven't noticed my absence yet.
I haven't heard any other news about Teddy, only that "he didn't die". Yes, those were the exact words I saw scribbled on a piece of parchment and thrown in to my cell. While the words comforted me, I knew the battle had just begun.
I was facing a trial that would change my life.
I would forever be known as 'the girl who tried to kill Teddy Lupin'.
Given the circumstances, there was no way that I'd be trusted completely by my entire family. In fact, Uncle Percy and Aunt Audrey would probably lock Molly and Lucy away from me. Not that I care that much about them.
If being in this cell didn't kill me, Victoire most certainly would when I got out.
Teddy really should have run away with me when he had the chance.
I know this is short, but it is just a prologue to see how everyone likes the story. The other chapters will be longer. I hope you guys liked it. I'd love to know what you did/didn't like, leave me a message in the box below? I promise to respond.
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