Disclaimer: Lyrics by Leona Lewis, characters owned by the awesome JK Rowling
Closed off from love
I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you're frozen
“James, we need to talk.” James, I need to know the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
“I know. Look, Lily, I’m sorry! We had been spending so much time together, and we had gotten so close. It just made me love you even more. I’m sorry if I hurt you, and I understand if you don’t want anything to do with me…”
“That was sweet James, but that’s not why I came.” I came because I’m confused. I came because I needed answers that only he could give me.
“Oh! Well, that’s a relief! I could never forgive myself if I gave up our friendship for something I could have prevented.”
“James, I came to ask you a question. But it’s not that important, I don’t want to bother you…” Please let him be bothered! I honestly will take any excuse to not ask him, and to get away from his breathtaking eyes!
“No, it’s fine. I’m not bothered at all. What do you need to ask?”
“Do you love me?” Do I honestly want to know the answer? Well, I guess I do, I did ask the question…
“Well of course I love you!”
“You’ve told me before, but I never fully believed you. I just thought you loved the idea of having what wasn’t given freely to you.”
“How could you think that? You are more than just a girl.”
Yup, I’m the only girl who hasn’t flung herself at him. I’m not in his fan club, which makes me interesting. Oh joy! Insert sarcasm here.
“But James, why do you love me?”
“Do you want me to make a list?”
“Yes, because I don’t understand what you think is so special about me.”
Honestly, there is nothing special about me. I’m very boring. The only non-average thing about me is my intelligence, and maybe my hair colour.
“What’s not special about you? You are perfect to me! I couldn’t live without you.” I can hear the desperation in his voice. He wants me to believe him, but I can’t. Not yet.
“James, I’ve lost so many people who I love! I can’t let myself even think about the possibility of loving you if I don’t know that you won’t leave me like everyone else has. I- I just can’t let myself fall for anyone…” The many emotions flowing through me cracked, and I can feel the tears rolling down my face.
“Lily, please don’t cry! I will never leave you! You are the most important person in my life!”
“But why? Why me and not some other girl? I don’t understand how I can make you feel that way. There’s nothing special about me. I’m just Lily…”
But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melts into the ground
Found something true
And everyone's looking round
Thinking I'm going crazy
“Yes, you’re Lily. But you’re not just Lily. You’re Lily Shay Evans. You have a sister named Petunia. She married a prat names Vernon and you hate him, so I hate him. You hate being given lilies because it’s unoriginal. You prefer roses or tulips. I’ve given you a tulip and a rose every day, but you think they’re from your parents. You work hard in class to prove that you belong in the magical world, and you do, no matter what people tell you. You’re favourite colour is royal purple, but you love wearing the colour green. I love it when you wear green because it brightens your eyes. You are the smartest witch of out generation, and you are an extraordinary person!”
“That’s sweet, but it still doesn’t prove that you have feelings for me. That’s not a reason that you love me. It’s mostly material things.” However, it does put butterflies in my stomach.
“You want to know why I love you?”
“Yes James, I really do. I’m just not ready to let myself fall for a guy who doesn’t like me for more than my appearance.” True, I do care about my appearance, but for me the inside is the most important part of a person.
“Here’s what makes you special to me. I love how you bight your lip when you’re thinking really hard. I love the freckles on your cheeks. I love the fact that you are determined to do what you think is right. I love your laugh, and I love making you laugh. I love your smile. I love the fact that you came to me for comfort about your nightmares. I love the fact that you believe in not having sex until you are in love. I love how you treat your friends and the people around you. I love how you carry yourself with confidence. I love how you won’t just throw yourself at any guy who looks at you. I love it when you stand up for the little people. Is that enough reasons?”
Is that enough reasons?! I was hoping for two, maybe three! He gave me a whole list! A list! He really does care…
“James, that is so thoughtful! I can’t believe you paid that much attention to me!” I can’t believe I never paid that much attention to him...
“I’m sorry for all the times I made fun of you. I’m sorry for all the times I scared away your dates. I’m sorry for everything you went through that I caused and I’m sorry I never apologised sooner.”
“Oh James!” Now the tears are falling so heavily my vision is blurry around the edges. Luckily I have James to focus on.
“Lily, please don’t cry! What did I say? Whatever it is I’m so deeply sorry for causing you to be so sad. I would never do anything like that on purpose!”
“I know. And I’m not sad… I’ve never been happier since fifth year! You just bring out the emotions in me.”
The good emotions, the bad emotions, the ugly emotions; he brings out everything in me! And because of that, he’s seen me at my best and my worst.
“Oh Lily, come here, please…” I sat down, letting the tears go uncensored. James pulled me to his chest. It’s so warm, so full of love.
But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I
“Thank you for telling me.” Because hearing it from him meant so much more to me than just hearing it from his friends. It made me feel like he could trust me too!
“You’re welcome. Thank you for being a part of my life.” Hopefully a bigger part now.
“When Alice told me to talk to you, I yelled at her. She told me a lot of things that were hard to listen to, but I’m glad I did.”
“What did she tell you?”
She told me so many things; I can’t even begin to count! She told me thing I knew, things I denied, and things I’ve just begun to realise.
“She told me that you love me. She told me that you wouldn’t leave me on the curb when you were done with me, and she made me realise something else.” Something important.
“What is that something?”
“She made me realise that I care about you. But you made me realise something too.”
“And what is that, Flower?”
Come on, Lily! You can say it! Breathe in, breathe out, and say three little words.
“You made me realise that I love you.”
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open
“Lily, did you just say-”
“Yes James, I love you.”
“Well, I love you too!” He smiled. I can feel the corners of my mouth pull up to match his.
“Well, Lily Evans, I never thought the day would come. I mean, I hoped it would, but it never happened this way in my head.”
“Is that a bad thing?” Oh I hope not, hopefully what he said is true; he loves me, not trying to get me.
“Of course not! It’s never a bad thing when the girl of your dreams becomes you girl!”
“Good, because I don’t think I can handle having this conversation again. It was almost too much to handle. I never knew that you paid attention to me like that.”
“And I will never put you through something that will make you cry, ever.”
But nothing's greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybe
“Do you still want to know why I love you?”
“You have another reason?”
“I love you for many reasons. It’s because you’re different. It’s because you try so hard to make everyone happy. And it’s because you’re worth it.”
And I finally realised that being worthy of his love means everything to me. Because I never thought I actually was…
“Lily, you’re still crying! Is everything okay?”
“No, everything is perfect!” I leaned in, took a deep breath, and kissed him; hoping life could get even better…
A/N: Hello! I hope you enjoyed a little break from the darkness of my other stuff. I'm also sooooooo sorry for the wait! I actually don't like to write *gasp* but I was messing around and my friend said it was pretty good so I've kept up with it as best as I can!
I had writers block for about two months, and then I had finals and such so I took a longer than entended hiatus. I hope you can forgive me! This short little story got me back in my groove, so read, review, and wait a little longer for me to update The Immediate!
Love you all!