Chapter 5 : Nuns, Batman, and a Rotating Potato
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“Hey! It could have been a girl” He shot back and I grinned. Christian was so adorably cute.
“Hey Andy, I just realised something funny. You’re the only girl on this team!” Jacob Chowdhury burst out laughing, and I frowned at him, my hands on my firebolt.
“And that is worth mentioning because?” I had no idea why this fucking charming boy became such a freak during quidditch practise. I suspect it’s the broom. Don’t ask me why.
“Uhm. dunno” He replied dumbly, and gave me a lopsided, gorgeous grin. I rolled my eyes and turned to Hugo, who had just arrived.
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA” He exploded in laughter, catching sight of me in my quidditch robes. “YOU-LOOK-LIKE-BATMAN-GONE-CROSS-GENDER!” He yelled, tears of joy escaped the corners of his eye. Remind me again why I’m friends with him? The rest of the team snickered.
“Thanks” I responded dully, with a sarcastic muted glare in his direction. He glowed winningly at me.
“Right, team- ten laps on foot, round the pitch, let’s go!” Albus announced cheerfully as he pushed aside the curtains to the change rooms. The rest of the team groaned but I beamed in excitement.
“Awww cmon guys! It’s just 10 laps! Man up boys!” I called happily to them, and received 5 glares in return. Albus was beaming at me, and my heart fluttered against my chest. Whew, that boy can smile.
“Adrienne, shut your gob” Hugo finally said.
“But, it’s just 10 laps…” I said in bewilderment. The rest of the team exchanged resigned glances.
Three laps later, I was lying on my back in the middle of the pitch, moaning something about how batman shouldn’t have to be forced to run like it was the end of the world. Slightly ironic, since batman doesn’t run from the end of the world, he usually goes back and saves it. Except I’m in no shape to save anything, much less run 7 more laps.
“Cmon Andy, it’s just seven more laps, man up!” Fred Weasley called, three quarters of a lap ahead of me. This got many appreciative laughs from the rest of the team. I swore and shot my finger in his general direction, and flopped my arm back to the ground, where I lay unmoving.
“Fuck off Freddikins. When I die, you guys have to bury me with the inscription- ‘killed by Albus Severus Potter during quidditch training’ on my headstone, got it? Goodbye world!” I cried dramatically, and closed my eyes.
Silence. Huh, where did everyone else get to? Why was there no sound, except the slow movement of my breathing?
I opened my eyes.
“ARRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” I screamed, scrambling back on all fours. Six, extremely sweaty and amused boys towered over me, heads joined together and blocking my view of the fat yellow thing they call the sun. (I call it the rotating potato, please don’t ask me why. We’ve established already my sense of normality doesn’t exist).
“SON OF A FUCKING MARIO” I screeched, “WHAT THE BLOODY, MOTHERFUCKING, NARGLE SUCKING, STUPID POTTER OF A HOMELESS MAN’S BOOB ARE YOU DOING?!”
The team exploded into laughter, except Jacob, who demanded, “What did you say about Al’s homeless boob?”
“Ohmygosh” I groaned. “I’m going to kill you guys one day. Just hope it’s not today” I narrowed my eyes at Jacob Chowdhury, who smirked at me, waggling his eyebrows in a challenging manner.
“YEAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGH!” I yelled, and launched myself towards the eyebrow waggling boy propped up on the ground, surrounded by the rest of the Gryffindor quidditch team, who were dying of laughter. Maybe laughing this hard will kill them, and I won’t have to. Whoopie!
“FUCK, ADRIENNE!” Jake yelped as I ninja attacked him, pulling him into a tickling filled rolling extravaganza. I stopped abruptly as he yelled, (spraying spit over the grass mind you. Thank god it was still early in the morning and the spray was lost in the dapples of dew that coated the pitch).
“Uh, no thank you. NO ONE FUCK ADRIENNE!” I revised cheerfully while thinking (EXCEPT AL), rolling off Jake and landed back in my position on my back, smack-bang-shit in the middle of the pitch. The rest of the team were howling in laughter, even Al, who, as the captain, should have more authority and order us to run another 10 laps in punishment for wasting practice time or something. Shame he was laughing the hardest, his body (the delicious hunk of yummy potter you see, yes that’s it) was shaking as he struggled to remain upright by clutching Hugo, who was shaking just as hard (if not harder) so really, it was pointless.
“Al, please don’t make me run the seven more laps” I whipped out my puppy dog face and begged the sexy captain of our team.
“Nuo! Coermpete thed furkain run” He responded immediately, words coming out like he had just eaten a ton of ton-tongue toffee, because he was panting pretty fucking hard from laughing. I kind of understood what he’d said, but I dismissed it quickly, taking his answer as ‘yes, almighty, gorgeous, beautiful, stunning Andy, you have no need to complete the ridiculous task I set of running ten laps. Now make me a sandwich’.
“Thank you Al! But no sandwich for you” I kissed his cheek and waved cheerfully goodbye, not noticing the tiny blush settling on my captain’s cheeks. I ran back to the change rooms and grabbed my firebolt, mounting it and zooming off closer to the rotating potato. I was already in the air when I realised- I kissed Albus on the cheek. What the fuck Andy?! Now he must think you’re a desperate bimbo or something. Shitfuckitydamn.
The boys were just recovering and traipsing slowly back to collect their brooms so I ignored the panic in my heart, and took my time to fly twice around the pitch.
I felt so fucking fantastic, wind whipping through my hair again. Now I honestly did not give a damn about the attractive ‘sex hair’ which Harley frequently sighs about. Have I told you she’s fucking obsessed with Hugo? WHAT? I HAVEN’T TOLD YOU? Oh no, that was supposed to be told…later on in the story. Uh, fine, okay. Harley Gosbell, my ex-bestie but now just best friend without the best (so just friend, in case my extremely confusing description was too much for you) is obsessed with one of my current besties, Hugo Weasley. Whuppie. But don’t worry, I’ll elaborate later. But all I’m saying is that I think she may be too obsessed with him, like I am with Albus, but not as extreme. Anyway, more of that later on. *Insert Andy’s sheepish expression here*
Anyway, I was flying around on a broomstick right? Right. By now the others have joined- look will you just let it go? I said I’d elaborate further on the Harley/Hugo situation later. Okay?
So the others have joined me, and Al had told us that we weren’t allowed to waste another practise like this again, and failed miserably at keeping the amusement out of his tone. I could tell by the way his lips twitched and he immediately looked away. I, however, was still focusing on the twitching of Albus Severus Potter’s deliciously pink lips. Hmmmm…
“ANDY. ANDY. ANDDYY!” Hugo bellowed, poking me hard in the ribs.
“Owwwww! What was that for you stupid Weasley?!” I moaned, clutching my ribs as he sighed.
“You zoned out again. Stop it. It creeps everyone out” Scorpius spoke and I rolled my eyes.
“I do not zone out!” I protested, but several disparaging noises from the team shut me up. Okay, maybe I did, but I wouldn’t if Albus Severus didn’t exist. Most of my zoning out was because I was daydreaming of him, not because I’m not normal. (Who am I kidding; of course I’m not normal).
“Uhm, okay, get to practice team!” Albus interrupted before I could finish sticking my finger up at the rest of the disparaging-noise-makers. “Let’s go, chasers-chase! Beaters-beat! Keeper-keep! Seek- wait, that’s me. Ok, uhm, yeah- play!” He zoomed off, leaving snickering beaters, keeper and chasers (ooh look that’s me!) behind him. But it’s so adorable; it sends me off into another trance like state of Al-daydreaming.
“I’M LETTING OUT THE BLUDGERS, SO UNLESS YOU WANT TO GET BLUDGEONED, MOVE!” He yelled, and we immediately scattered.
It was a good practice in the end. Despite the Hogwarts photographer- (Jayme Rileson) turning up ten minutes before the end of practice, and taking horrible photos of us (I suspect most of the ones containing me were derpy photos with double chins or something) in mid-air while we threw around quaffles, it was a decent day.
Albus seemed approving of my chasing skills (yep, the non-existent ones) which of course, made my heart extremely excited. However, I was sporting a large bruise on my elbow, which was the result of Jacob and Fred purposely (and evilly) aiming a bludger at me. Al screamed at them afterwards, but only because they injured a chaser, which was disappointing. He was meant to be in agony at my pain, and blow the offending buggers into pineapple land. But him screaming at the little evil buggers was good enough- for now.
I was able to perform a few skills learnt from my mom, who was a decent chaser herself (Katie Bell); however, my un-coordination inherited from my father pulls on the scales. So I still need to steady myself sometimes, but I’m a fast learner. I picked up a few tricks today, and the boys (even Jacob, who reluctantly admitted it) were impressed with my performance today.
“Okay, that was a pretty cool practice” Al praised, and he grinned. “We’ll flatten Slytherin in the first match”
I was agreeing with him, partly because I always agree with whatever he says (he still never notices I’m in love with him) but also because the match was in 4 weeks, which was probably enough time for me to learn more chasing crap and maybe even not screw up everything during play.
We hit the showers before traipsing back to the common room, where I groggily fell asleep beside the fire. My last thought before I crashed, was ‘potions tomorrow. Ew’
A/N: Batman belongs to Marvel comics, Superman belongs to D.C. comics, and none of the things you recognise is mine ^_^
Thanks for reading (: