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Loony Faylinn Griffiths and her Pals: Messrs Potter, Malfoy, and Potter by ObsessedReaderfromtheMoon
Chapter 1 : Gravy Train
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 1

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Disclaimer: I own nothing. JK Rowling is the mastermind behind everything Harry Potter. 

Authors Note: Hello! So, this is my first next generation fanfiction. I know this chapter may seem a bit awkward and may have a ton of grammatical mistakes, but I'm going to get back to those and fix them later. Anyway, thanks for giving my story a chance. If you could, please leave a lovely review at the end of the chapter. Thank you for reading! :)



I never meant to end up lost in the Room of Requirement. I’m normally very good at directions, but this year’s game between myself, Albus, Fred, James, Luke, and Rose took a twisted turn. I never expected myself to end up crying out to my mates looking for help. I guess you could blame Luke, but I prefer to blame Al. Technically he started this madness. Well, I’ll let you decide for yourselves who’s to blame.

As you can assume, Al did something daft. And what is that thing that he did? Well, right when Rose and I started discussing the potential dangers of the spikes of a venomous tentacula and their modes of removal, Al’s floating head appeared over Rose’s shoulder and I shrieked out of fright.

“What the bloody hell, Al?” I cried as I wiped my bangs out of my eyes only to see that his entire body except his head was still invisible.

It freaked me out just a little bit.

“Merlin, Al! Just take off that cloak. You don’t need to sneak into the Library! Its perfectly acceptable for all students to enter the library while being visible to the rest of Hogwarts.”

“Not right now it isn’t,” He mumbled flinging the cloak off and shoving it in a ball before sitting down next to Rose.

Sighing loudly, Rose asked, “What did you do now, Al? Dye the robes of McGonagall green? Replace Slughorn’s sweets with nosebleed nougats? Charm all the cups in the Great Hall to stick to the tables?”

“Hey, hey, hey!” He said frowning his eyebrows at us. “That last one James did. I wouldn’t pull such a daft joke on the whole school.”

“Remember the trouble he got in with the house elves?” I laughed quietly. “Didn’t we have to eat in the courtyard for a week or so because he and the house elves couldn’t get the goblets off for the tables days? What made him think that charming the cups to the tables would get him out of classes for a week? Really, all that happened is he lost a lot of sleep trying to pry those darn cups off the tables.”

“He even tried to get McGonagall to pity him,” Rose said nodding in my direction.

Sitting up as tall as I possibly could and scrunching up my face in an attempt to imitate Minnie I said, “Mr. Potter, I can not ask the house elves to burn the tables and build new ones. Do you understand the seriousness of this situation? We’ll have to eat among the centaurs for weeks!”

“Oi! Can we get back on topic please?” Al shouted over our chorus’s of laughter.

Three Ravenclaws from the next table over turned to look at us.

Albus glowered at them and seethed, “Oh, shove off. There’s nothing going on over here.”

The blonde, Bridget Lowe, shot him the finger.

“Bloody Ravenclaws,” he muttered before looking back over at us.

Looking over at Al, I sighed. “Okay, what is it?”

“I shot Leatherby with a spoon full of gravy.”

“Leatherby?! Al, she’s the Headmistress! Did you think this through at all?” Rose pondered.

“It was Scorpius’ idea. Not mine.”

“Well, Scorpius doesn’t always think about possible consequences,” I said.

Albus nodded. “Yeah, and now he’s off somewhere in the castle hiding with the map while Leatherby is hunting around the castle with a reward for anyone who returns to her my raw hide.”

“Oh, really its not that big of a deal,” I said to Al. “Gravy comes off. Its actually quite easy to clean.”

“Oh and you’ve had plenty of experiences that involve cleaning gravy?” Al questioned.

“Unfortunately, yes.”

You see, when I was ten, my brother, Luke, and I tried to surprise my family with a fantastic Christmas Eve dinner. He was to make the turkey while I made the green beans, potatoes and gravy. Everything went really well and it all cooked perfectly until I went to bring the gravy over to the dining table. I tripped over my feet and the gravy went flying straight into my mum and dad’s laps. Needless to say, I was sent to my room and given the job of cleaning the gravy moat that had formed around the dining table the following morning. It was a pleasant Christmas.

“So, you think all I have to do is go to Leatherby and apologize and then she’ll let me off the hook?”

“Yeah. Tell her you’ll clean up the mess and all should be fine.”

“You know what?” Al said looking shiftily at me as I started to pack up my books and notes from the table. “If you have experience doing this sort of thing, can you just fix it for me?”

I opened my mouth to retort saying that no way in bloody hell was I going to take care of his mess yet again when he smiled and said, “Thanks Fay. Tell me how it goes”. And suddenly, his body disappeared under the invisibility cloak as he fled from the library.


I’m going to have to deal with the wrath that is Leatherby’s stink eye.


“Faylinn Griffiths. What a pleasure it is to see you in my office. I have heard wonderful stories about you from your professors. Professor Lupin, in particular, adores your enthusiasm for Defense Against the Dark Arts and is increasingly amazed by your skill at dueling. Did you really disarm him in your one on one duel?” Professor Leatherby said as she gestured for me to sit in a plush red arm-seat that sat in front of her rather large desk.

I nodded. “Yes, I did.” I said quickly trying to ease my nerves. My hands were shaking like they were frozen in between two giant ice cubes.

“Oh, well, I’m quite amazed.” She said sitting back in her seat.

“Thank you,” I said blushing at her praise.

Waving my thanks away, she took in a deep breath. “Well then, what did you want to talk about, dear.”

“The gravy incident that happened this morning at lunch,” I said looking up at her

“Gravy incident?”

I looked down. “Yeah, I mean, yes. I just … uh … don’t know how to phrase this, but, I never meant for you to be pulverized by that vat of gravy.” I blurted bluntly.
“It just, uh, sort of, um, slipped from Al’s hands and, uh, you were in the direct line of impact,” I said looking down at my hands. “I can clean your robes for you if you’d like. I’ve actually had my fare share of gravy messes so I know how to get it out of anything. Actually, I usually spill the gravy train on the carpet and my parents have me scrub it up right away.” I laughed nervously. “Once, the gravy train flung from my hands and landed on top of my parents. You have no idea how much trouble I was in. Well, maybe you do. I’m probably in the same amount of trouble right now. I’m just so terribly sorry that this happ-”

“My dear,” Leatherby said with a tone of complete and utter confusion, “I have absolutely no idea to what you are talking about. Gravy? I don’t think I ‘ve eaten gravy in about three months, and I certainly haven’t had anyone throw it at me! And, what is a gravy train?”

“Oh, um, that’s just a family tradition. We put the gravy in a train that goes round the table,” I mumbled.

“Are you feeling alright?” Leatherby asked looking at me with great concern. “Do you need a lie down? How about I pass along to the rest of the teachers that you won’t be in classes tomorrow.” She said smiling slightly. “Go get some sleep, honey.”

I stood up quickly, thanked her for her time, and ran from the room.

What the bloody hell just happened. Did she say that she wasn’t hit by gravy? And that I needed a lie down? Does she think I’m mad? You know, looped, insane, foolish, crazed, cracked, irrational.

Bloody hell.

I’m going to kill Al.

He knows how the professors seem to adore me and of course he had to go and get me to humiliate myself in front of the headmistress so that I seem like the odd one. Not him. Nope. No siree, he’s perfectly normal while I apparently am a crackpot old fool who pets hundreds of cats all day and drinks nothing but pickle juice.

I don’t even like pickles!

The only possible truth to that statement is that I do plan on having a cat when I’m older. But only one cat. Not hundreds!

Oh stop looking at me like that. I will not end up being a loony cat lady.

At least, I hope not.

Finally, I reached the Gryffindor Common room and when Rose saw my face, she started laughing hysterically. “It worked? He really got you to go to Leatherby?”

I stomped over to her and glared. “Where is he?”

She pointed to the boy’s dorms and I stormed up the staircase as she called out to me. “Oh come on Fay! It was just a joke. Oi! Don’t go up there! You don’t know what they could be doing in there!”

“Like I bloody care!” I shouted back at her.

Out of breath, I finally reached the sixth year dorm. Seriously, for a beater on a quidditch team, you’d assume I had some athletic ability. But, apparently I don’t because after running up four flights of stairs, I was out of breath. Collecting myself for a second, I brushed down my shirt and huffed out an angry breath before I flung the door open and ran into the room.

Scorpius was on his bed, the map wide open before him, laughing at my expression. “She’s here mate!” He yelled toward the direction of the bathroom.

“How long has he been in there?” I demanded.

“Long enough,” he shrugged.

“Good,” I said before I ran over to the door and kicked it open and saw the most disturbing sight I have ever seen. Albus Potter, my best mate, nude.

“What the hell, Fay?!?” Al shouted searching for the nearest towel and covering his bottom half.

“Merlin! Al, put some clothes on!”

“I would have if I knew you were going to storm into the bathroom without knocking!”

“Well, I wouldn’t have stormed into the bathroom if you hadn’t have told me that you flung gravy at Leatherby!”

“I did!”

“No you bloody well didn’t, Al!”

“Oh, come on. It was a joke, Fay. Just a good intentioned joke!”

“A bloody joke?! You prick! I’m never going to be seen as a sane witch to her anymore! I’m going to forever be loony Faylinn Griffiths!” I said punching his bare chest with my balled hands.

“Bloody hell! Stop punching. Ow. Fay, stop.” Al said trying his best to push me away from him. “Oi! Scorpius? Help me mate!”

I heard a groan from my left and suddenly two strong arms grabbed me around my waist and pulled me away from Al.

“Scorpius! Put me down now!” I said flailing my arms and legs out trying to hit Al’s face with the tip of my toes.

“Not until you stop resorting to muggle violence,” His rough voice muttered in my ear.

“Fine,” I said defeated.

Al looked at me calculatingly and finally said, “Okay, Scorp, put her down.”

Scorpius released me and I backed away from both of them. Looking back and forth between the two, I quickly went to pull my wand from under my cloak. “I’ll resort to wizard violence then!” I said as I pointed my wand at Al.

“Woah!” Al said holding a hand out in front of him trying to calm me down. “Fay, I didn’t mean to humiliate you.”

“Yes you did mate.”

Al shot Scorpius a look that said ‘shut it’ before he looked back at me and muttered, “Look, I’m sorry. I was just messing around with you.”

“Just messing around?! I talked to her about the gravy train! The gravy train, Al!”

“Shit. Okay, hold on. Can I get dressed quickly?”

“Al. I don’t care if you get dressed or not, but if you do you will be giving me the best chance I will ever get to hex your bloody arse off for being such a prick!” I roared at the top of my lungs.

“All of Hogwarts just heard you, Fay,” Scorpius said to my left.

“Shut it,” I said through my teeth as I glared at him.

Suddenly, the door behind us creaked open and none other than James Potter stood in the doorway.

“Fay! What the bloody hell are you doing to my brother?”

Trying to ignore his gaze, I mumbled. “Threatening him.”

“Why is he in a towel?”

“Because she ran in on me when I was about to take a shower!”

“Oh, come on. Let’s go,” James said before his arms were around me and I was being carried fireman style out of the sixth year dorm.

Knowing better not to mess around with the quidditch captain who is probably twenty times stronger than me, I sighed and let him carry me up to his dorm.

Placing me on my feet, James sat down on Fred’s bed and looked into my eyes. “What did he do now?”

I shook my head and sighed looking down. “Nothing really.”

“Then why did you just pull a Bridget Lowe on him?”

Sitting down on James’ bed, I mumbled, “He made me squirm so I wanted to see him squirm too.”

James threw his head back and laughed. “It is sort of amusing watching Al when he doesn’t know what to do.”

I nodded before looking around his room. “Hey, where’s Fred?”

“He’s off with Allie somewhere.”

“He likes her, doesn’t he?”

“Yeah, but he’s a bit too shy if you ask me.”

I raised my eyebrow. “And you aren’t?”

“I’m James Potter. I’m never shy,” He said cocking a crooked grin at me.

I laughed. “Sure, sure. You say that, but Al says that you have trouble talking to girls.”

“Have you ever seen me have trouble talking to girls?”

Looking down, I said, “Not really.”

“So, why the suspicion?”

“Cut it out, James. You know I was just pulling your wand.”

He chuckled and ran a hand through his hair.

“I didn’t mean it that way. Get your head out of the gutter, mate!” I grimaced.

He laughed at my reaction. “Come on, Fay,” he said reaching over to nudge me, “I know you don’t like sensitive topics like that, but its part of normal life. You’ll have to get over your irrational fear sometime. Do you even swear?”

In my head I do.

“You don’t even swear, do you? I’ve known you for six years and I don’t think I’ve heard you utter a single fuck once”. He shook his head.

“James,” I said glaring at him. “If you have known me that long, you know that I have anger management problems. So, if I were you I’d stop.”

“Right. Fay’s short temper is something I’m accustomed to by now.” He said walking over towards the door. “Hell, Al was just at the other end of your fist and I think he’ll be regretting it rather soon.”

I smirked.

“Well, I’m going to head down to dinner. Want to come?” He said titling his head towards the door as an offer to join him.

“I’ll be down in a minute. I’ve got to go put my bag away. I’ve left it down in the Common Room and for all I know, the little firsties are probably messing around with it,” I said standing up.

“Well now, we don’t want to them to eat your stash of nosebleed nougats now do we?”

“Oh no. Not at all, ” I smirked, my voice full of sarcasm.


After discovering that the first years did indeed find my stash of nosebleed nougats, I urged them to go to the hospital wing before I ran up to the girl’s dorms and flug my bag on the birds nest I like to call my bed. Then with a stomach growl that probably woke all the hibernating acromantula in the Forbidden Forest, I walked swiftly down to the Great Hall.

“Fay!” Rose said running towards me as I entered. “Where the hell have you been?” She had obviously been waiting for me at the door for quite some time now.

“Killing Albus”

“Oh,” Rose grimaced. “Are you still upset with him? He didn’t mean for you to get this upset. It was just a silly joke.”

“Rose,” I said turning towards her. “I just want him to get a taste of his own medicine. I mean, sure, I am humiliated that I told Leatherby about the gravy train, but you know I only get over things once I plan my revenge”

Rose sighed. “You know, Al is terrified of you right now, right? He keeps muttering, ‘I’m going to die. I’m going to die. I’m going to die.’”

“Well, he needs to get over his little fear because I’m hungry and he can’t stop me from having some delicious dinner, so move out of my way!” I said shoving past Rose to go sit next to my friends.

Rose, being the swift little thing she is, somehow managed to weasel her way ahead of me and sat down next to Fred leaving me the seat next to James across from Al.

“What’s for dinner?” I asked as I sat down.

“Chicken potpie, carrots, and some green stuff,” Fred said grimacing. “I’ve officially gone on a strike against all vegetables that aren’t orange you know.”

“Why?” I asked looking over at him incredulously.

“Green vegetables are not members of the Weasley clan. If they want to be apart of my family and therefore in my tummy, then they will have to dye themselves orange so that they will match the color of my hair. Then, and only then, will I eat them.”

“Fred?” James said looking up and across the table at his best mate. “Wouldn’t you want to eat the green vegetables? Because if they were orange and apart of our family, you would be murdering your brother or sister.”

Fred narrowed his eyes and went back to eating his chicken potpie.

“James is right, Fred. You would be eating Roxanne,” I said reaching for a potpie.

Fred’s head shot up his eyes wide. “James, please pass me the green stuff. My strike against them has officially ended.”

I laughed and looked across the table at Al. He was pushing his food around with his fork and slowly taking bird-sized bites of food. He definitely felt my eyes narrowing in on his skull because he lifted his gaze quickly up to my face and then back down to his food.

“Al,” I said quickly addressing him.

He turned to Scorpius and started a conversation revolving around Pygmy Puffs.

Why the bloody hell were they talking about Pygmy Puffs? I mean, I know Scorpius keeps one hidden in his trunk, but Al isn’t one to normally talk about pink things.

“Al,” I said trying to grab his attention once more.

His arm twitched.


He dropped his fork.

“Al,” I nearly shouted.

“What?!” He said finally looking up at me and ending his ridiculous conversation with Scorpius.

“Hi,” I said smiling.

He furrowed his brow before replying. “uh, hi, Fay.”

“Is Scorpius’s Pygmy Puff still not feeling well?”

“How the hell does she know about Clarisse?” Scorpius whispered frantically to Al.

“I was there when you bought her, dimwit.” I said cocking my head sideways at Scorpius.

An awkward silence fell then around our little cluster of friends. My dear, sweet, Freddie boy, broke it with a spout of quidditch trivia that finally got Al to talk to me and stop acting like a baby.

“Puddlemere’s in the finals you know.”

“They shouldn’t be. The referee for their match against the Holyhead Harpies was a prat. Puddlemere made hundreds of fouls and the ref let them get away with it. Mum was in St. Mugo’s for weeks,” Al said now stabbing his pot-pie with his fork.

“The Chudley Cannons will destroy them in the final though,” I said looking up at Al.

“Fay, you know they won’t. The Chudley Cannons are one of the worst professional quidditch teams in England. It was pure luck that they made it to the final,” Al said with a small smile.

“They got there out of pure talent, Al. They’re a much better team then they were when your Uncle was at school,” I said smiling at our returning argument.

“We’ll see, Gravy Train.”

“Hahaha, Al,” I said sarcastically.

“Gravy Train? Is that your new nickname, Fay?” James said turning his body towards me.


“Gravy Train? Hm, I like it,” Fred smirked rubbing his knuckles across the top of my head.

“Oi, I spent hours fixing that head of hair today. Do you know how long it takes to get her ratty hair to look semi-decent?”

Ah Rose, what a pleasure it is to have you join in on the conversation. And what a nice compliment you gave me too. Bloody hell where have you been? Lost in your own world? Gazing at Scorpius? Imagining yourself married to the bloke?


That’s disgusting.

“Yo, my sister’s friends!” Luke said coming up behind me.

“Yo, Ravenclaw!” Fred said addressing my brother by the nickname Al assigned him when I was a wee little firstie.

“What were you just doing to my sister, Fred? Giving her a head massage?”

“No, I was just celebrating her new nickname.”

“Which is?” Luke said smirking at me.

“Gravy Train,” I growled under my breath.

Gravy Train? There is no bloody way that Fay is letting you call her that willingly!”

“Nope,” Al said sitting up in his seat proudly, “I assigned it to her after her little incident with Leatherby.”

“Aha,” Luke said nodding his head in understanding. “Well, how about that. Fay is finally succumbing to the same torture I went through years ago. Poor Lynnie.”

“Don’t call me that,” I said glaring at Luke.

“Oh, whatever sis,” he said brushing me aside. “Why are you guys still here? Did you forget about our little game?”

“What game?” Rose piped in.

I looked up at Albus and grinned. “The scavenger hunt.”

“Fuck yeah! Let’s go!” James said standing up a bit too quickly and tossing me, Fred, and Rose backwards off the bench.

“Well, it is a tradition,” Scorpius said a bit hesitantly.

“Okay, fine. I’ll play,” Rose said standing up and brushing off her bottom.

“Alright,” I said as we all ran over to the door to the Great Hall. “Get in your groups” I said as I walked over to Albus.

“Uh,” Rose said quietly. “Victoire graduated. So, who’s my partner?” She looked at Al.

“Well, Gravy Train, Scorp and I have been partners since first year, but Scorp can be your partner now. Then we’ll all be evenly matched against each other.”

“Yeah, Fred and me,” James said listing off the groups. “Al and Fay, and You and Scorp.”

“And while you lot are all going out of your minds trying to find the items, I will be awaiting your return in the Gryffindor Common room.” Luke said smugly. “Now, what’s the password?” He demanded.

“Gillyweed,” Rose said as she walked hesitantly towards Scorpius.

“Alright then, ” Albus said looking between the pairs. “Now that we’re set, let’s go.”

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