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Here without you by kjp
Chapter 14 : thinking clearly for the first time
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 2

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chapter image by Rica@TDA, thank you its amazing

24th December
 “Put them up a little Higher Arthur” Mum ordered dad telling him where to put the lights

she was mad, frantic even about Christmas… she was putting so much effort in putting all the decorations up I am wondering how she’s still going.

“Mum, I think were done with the tree” That was the twins job to do the tree.

I’ve been watching them for quite awhile doing the tree and I must say there decoration skills is non-existent. Mums so going to be mortified when she sees this, she’ll probably have a heart attack any minute now.

The ball balls were stuck mostly at the top leaving the bottom bear as anything. The crackers that we suppose to be placed on the tree were lying underneath the tree most probably forgotten by Fred and George and the angel was lopsided and looked ugly… as usual I guessed it was a garden gnome, but mum doesn’t know that so you better keep quite about it.

And don’t even get me started on how bad the tinsel is!

Mum was too busy with the lights to look up so simply said “Great boys you can go upstairs now your free” Mum hurried picking up the fallen lights that dad didn’t manage to keep hold of “Arthur dear you need to be more careful”

I wasn’t doing anything… I’m too lazy see. I’m drinking my hot chocolate and watching the gnomes out of the window. Its started to snow and they look pretty funny running around trying to catch a snowflake.

“Your too lazy Gin” Fred came along sitting next to me.

“Where’s George?”

“On the bog, we don’t do everything together you know!” He replied shaking his head shamefully at me “Now, why aren’t you helping mum… I’m sure she would love your help”

Eugh! Fred’s going to find a way to make me work isn’t he.

“Nah she’s fine, the less people involved the less people there are to muck up” I act cool… I’m perfectly fine sitting here thank-you very much.

“are you sure? I mean the more the merrier” He whistled getting up and almost waltzing into the kitchen. Damn him.

I doing the best possible thing to think of race upstairs before he has time to talk to mum who of which is still having a huff at dad for dropping the lights.

“You know its not that hard to hold them. Just hold and I’ll stick them down” Mum cried “Don’t roll your eyes at me… it was your idea to do it the muggle way without magic”

Yes a no magic Christmas, whoope! I feel sorry for muggles now its hard work and i've not been doing anything all day just watching my parents do the work makes me seem tired and out of breath. Everyone’s wands have been confiscated and dads kept them in his lock draw. What he doesn’t know is the Fred and George know how to pick locks and they should be out within the next few hours. Gotta love the twins.

I hurry to my room and shut the door quickly. Being in this house sometimes reminds me of Harry, Ron and Hermione and I hate it. Its like being trapped in your own home with all the memories that now seem so long ago.

I shut my eyes quick trying to block out the images. I just want this nightmare of a war to end… it just has to.

What if Voldermort really does win? What if Harry dies in a battle against him? How the hell am I meant to cope!

My legs give way and I fall to the floor, a loud thump follows after me but I really don’t care.

This was the room me and Harry had our last kiss in, was it our last kiss? God that sounds so cheesy but it could be true, would we ever have another kiss?

A cold and wet tear makes its way down my cheek, I’m thinking about what they could be doing… I know it was a mission for Dumbledore and it involved the sword some how, but what could it be.

Without my brain even registering what I was doing I grabbed a quill and some parchment and began jotting down the things that I did know about there mission.


Dumbledore gave the mission to them

Needs the sword of Gryffindor

Of to kill Voldermort

The mission must take a long time to do

Had to drop out of school to do the mission


That was all I knew… I didn’t know anything else. Was I really that un-trust worthy that they didn’t tell me anything, not even where they are going.

I had a guess at where they are but it probably seems to unlikely it would be the first place death eaters would check. Grimmauld place was what I was thinking but highly doubt it.

I just can’t think of anything else and its totally going to be on my mind until I do think of something else which seems impossible. I only have a couple of small things on the list I definitely won’t be able to solve what they are doing from this.
A soft knock on the door caught me from my thoughts.

I hurriedly wiped the tears away and placed a big fat fake smile on my face and opened it to find Fred standing there with a plate of biscuits in his hand which I do admit look delicious and if he’s come here to try and make me a work he has another thing coming.

“I’m not working if that’s what you’re after”

“Nah just come up here to give you one of these” he handed the plate to me and just invited him self inside my room. Rude don’t you think.

I seized a biscuit (What! I’m not going to miss a opportunity like this… they just look so yummy and delicious)

“What else did you come up here for?”

“To talk” he whistled sitting himself on my fluffy bean bag that lying on my floor that I haven’t used since I was about four.

He kept whistling which is now starting to irritate me and his eyes travelled around my messy room that has thousands of books scattered across the floor. He even laughed when he saw all my posters of the holy head harpies around the room to cover all my pink walls that I just hate, Fred definitely isn’t a fan of the quiddittch team.
“You’ve had those posters up here since you were seven. I always wondered why you liked them. I thought you’d be more into Appleby arrows” He remarked actually turning to face me now.

“and why is that?”

“Because they’re the best team and I support them” He laughed then turned serious “How you been holding up Gin?”

Oh god, I hate it when people ask me this, it makes me feel like I’m being tested So I do the only thing that I feel comftable with doing; I lie.

“I’m fine” I say a bit unsure of myself.

“Yeah… you can say that but I know your not” Fred says pulling himself of the bean bag and coming towards me “Were all worried about him sis… but they’ve gone into hiding and its safer if we don’t know where they are, but Harry will complete this stupid mission and it will all be over with and he’ll be back to you” He whispers to me pulling me into a hug, a very brotherly hug.

I needed this… I need someone to hug me and tell me its going to be ok and that Harry will return to me and we will all live happily ever after.

“I just miss him” The words coming out before I could stop them and I felt my whole body relax… I had finally got it out. Tears came strolling down my face and instead of wiping them away and pretending they didn’t exist I kept them there.

“Ginny it will be fine”

“No it won’t” The realisation hitting me of the situation “Harry, Ron and Hermione are gone we might never see them again”

“Yeah but you can’t think like that Ginny other wise we’ll never win”

I felt ill and I knew the only cure would be to see Harry again, just see him. He doesn’t have to hold me in his arms and kiss me like never before I just have to see him, just once to check he is ok.

“Fred… I think I love him”

I look up at Fred and his eyes dart up to mine, a line creased across his head in confusion at what i just said... i should have figured this would happen

He pulled out of the hug and looking at me as though I’d grown another head “You ok Ginny?” He said feeling my head for my temperature.

Great now he thinks I’m stupid. Bloody typical boys.

“Yes I’m fine. Infact this is the most sense I have spoke in awhile… I know its true. I love the damn boy and I hate this feeling, this feeling of needing to see him because i know i can't”  I was crying by now and the words came hissing out of my mouth. I know I shouldn’t be angry but I hate it when people don’t believe me.

“Ginny love is a big deal you can’t really be serious about being in love with him”

“Yes I am… over the past few months I have felt so empty inside and I have a burning desire to see him… but I know I can’t because he’s of saving the world again and I am once again left in the dark. I’m not trusted enough… I’m just the best friends little sister as always!” I yell, my eyes watering so much i could only see so much that i could only see the image of fred standing there.

Why on heavens earth am I so weak this year? I can’t just keep breaking down like this.

A grin sprouted itself onto Fred’s face “I have a plan” He announced pulling me through my own doorway and up the flight of stairs into Fred and George’s room “You miss I love and need him, need to go see Dumbledore”

Ok that makes no sense what so ever “The guys dead Fred… so unless you plan on killing me then I don’t think your pathetic plan is going to work” I wiped my nose on a hankerchief Fred just gave me and looked back up at him.

A look of hurt crossed his face but I knew he was just faking it… when you grow up with Fred and George you start learning if something is real or not “Yes he might be dead but see there is this thing where at Hogwarts pictures move and talk and there just happens to be one of him”
I raised my eyebrows at him now only realising George is also in the same room as him giving Fred a confused look.

“What in merlins beard are you on about Fred?” George asked not taking his eyes of the magazine in his hand that if I can just see is his own shop magazine Weasleys Wizard wheezes. That’s just sad reading your own magazine.

“Our sister here thinks she’s in love with the most famous wizard of all times” I glared at Fred… I knew I shouldn’t have trusted him!

“What? She’s in love with Dumbledore” George smirked, I sent my glare at him instead of George.

“Shut it”

“Be nice now sister. Anyway on with the plan. You’re going to break into Snapes office and talk…”

“Wait one second. You do remember last time I tried to break into his office I got sent into the forbidden forest right?” My mind is racing… how the hell is this suppose to work, Fred and George must be mad.

George gets up this time and throws the magazine onto his chest of draws and joins in the conversation “Anything’s Possible Ginny if you’ve got enough nerve” He mimicked me smirking again “Anyway this time you’ll have us. And the forbidden forest really isn’t that bad, me and Fred should know”

“OK, say I do get into the office without getting caught what am I going to talk about anyway” What the hell is happening, why do they care so much? This is so never going to work! I’ll be expelled before I even reach the door… Oh my lord they’ll probably kill me.

“Anything and everything you want to know” Fred said jumping onto his own bean bag. I am still so confused and I think it showed on my face as he continued “look, just find out what Harry’s doing and where he is, if anyone knows Dumbledore will… even though he’s dead. But that’s beside the point!”

Merlins beard this plan has so many flaw and errors where it could go wrong but I find myself drawn to the idea of doing something like this and seeing Harry and finding out what he’s doing sounds great. I just want to know where he is and what he’s doing… that’s not to much to ask for is it?

“Fine… but if I get expelled I’m blaming you”

“That’s great” The twins both cheered together.



25th December


“Ginivere Weasley get your ass out of that bed right now” The twins shook me until my eyes opened “MERRY CHIRSTMAS!”

I don’t care that it’s bloody Christmas I am tried…. Sleep is important, very important Infact and I need it because if I don’t I’m in a bad mood and you never want a bad mood Ginny Weasley on Christmas day.

“Go away” I moan turning over “I’m tired”
“So are we but were still awake”

The went away and started singing a can you dance like a hippogriff from the weird sisters I really don’t know why, they are so random.

I know I’m not going to be able to sleep so I pull the covers off me and open my eyes only to be blinded by sunlight. Stupid boys they’ve woken me up everyday over the past week.

“Ok I’m up… now where are my presents!”


The tree was up (Still in a messy state thanks to Fred and George- mum obviously was too busy to care about it) and mum and dad managed to get the lights up after many rows and arguments.

The angel gnome had already escaped (probably over night) so the tree looked a little better. But i liked the tree this way, it reminded me of Fred and george and reminded me of home.

Presents were stacked underneath and the two twins were already getting into each of their presents so a pile of wrapping paper was thrown to the side. I sat down next to them and reached for a small packet that was addressed to me.
Unlike the boys I open the smallest presents first.

It turned out to be from Charlie and was a pair of beautiful dragon earrings only found in Romania. I put them in straight away without hesitation.

“Wicked” Fred and George both shouted at a present that they just un-wrapped.

“Who’s it from George?” Fred asked turning the nimbus 2000 in his hands.

George flicked through the pile of wrapping trying to find a tag or label but couldn’t find any but I don’t think he cares because he shrugged and continued to admire their new broom.

I however also got a un-known present.

It was a vile of Felix felicis that must have took ages to make or a fortune to buy and like Fred and George there was no tag. Why would someone give me this and not take the credit… I know I would brag about giving someone something like this. 

I pushed the bottle to the side not really caring at this very minute who it was from and went over to the rest of my presents and started to look through them all

today was great, and I truly felt happy for the first time in four months. I forgot what feeling Happy felt like and I was glad I could finally experience it again.

I got a whole load of other gifts, that’s the bonus of having a huge family.

From Fred and George I got a load of chocolate frogs, from Bill and Fleur they decided to get one together and gave me a gorgeous dress that looks way to revealing and I’m sure Bill had no say in what they were getting me.

When Fred and George saw it I was sure they’re eyes were going to pop out.

“Who got you that?” The cried out together grabbing the dress.

“Bill and Fleur, why does it matter to you?” I sneered at them grabbing the dress back a placing it back in the box.

“We’ll make a deal with you… you can only wear that when all boys in the world have been extinct, Fair?”

Percy even got me something, though it was little it still meant a great deal. Of course it was a book but it was more than Fred and George got.

Great Aunt Muriel send me another one of her disgusting hats that she used to wear as a child and of course from mum and dad I got another green jumper plus a box of cauldron cakes and mince pies (even though I hate them)

After all the presents had been unwrapped I was begging mum to go play quiddittch outside with the boys. I hadn’t been out of the house all summer and I really am killing for some light.

After awhile she gave in with only the promise that I stay with the twins at all times. I agreed but I probably won’t keep to it.

“Stay out of trouble you three”

I took my old cleansweep from the shed where dad keeps his muggle junk and as the twins only got one nimbus 2000 George had to get his own broom so long as Fred promised to swap.

It was so much fun. We played a mini match all against all at one point dad even hoped on a broom and played. It was fantastic being back on a broom and I felt the great sensation of being free while playing and I forgot about the war and Harry only for a few moments and we were a family, a great one at that.

As the snow made it harder to fly we stopped sooner than I hoped, but every great thing ends eventually that’s no reason not to enjoy it.

Before I could even stop time Christmas had ended and I knew that the rest of the holidays is going to fly by and before I know it I’ll be back at dreaded school without my family watching my back.

I’ll be going back to hell.

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