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Trying not to love you by Elenia
Chapter 17 : Chapter seventeen - Outburst
 
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 20


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Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything else that you might recognize.





Chapter seventeen – Outburst

 
“Come on, Mum, please calm down! I was going to tell you tomorrow! Remember?” James was shouting, frustration evident from his tone. “I was coming for dinner, remember?”
 
He was standing in the middle of the living room at the Potter household, resembling so much of his younger self. I had a flashback of a twelve-year-old boy standing in that exact spot, begging his mother to believe it was just a big accident that he and I had crashed out brooms into the backyard garden, demolishing it almost completely.
 
Ginny had been furious that day, but it was nothing compared to how she seemed at the moment.
 
“Oh yes, it’s easy to say that now!” the red-haired woman fumed behind her narrowed eyes.
 
“I was! You can ask Gwenny, she’ll confirm it for you,” James pointed in my direction and I hoped I could somehow make myself invisible instead of gaining that glower of death from Ginny.
 
She was a scary sight. I didn’t think I had even seen her so livid before. Even her hair looked like it was on fire. If I was James, I would’ve probably stopped existing just from the glare she was giving him – it was the most frightening thing I’d ever seen.
 
The whole confrontation was, actually. My Gryffindor courage had disappeared the moment we entered our team’s locker room and I had seen the broken Beater’s bat on the table with the attached note that said ‘HOME! NOW!’
 
Just the sight of the Portkey had made me pale. I wasn’t the biggest fan of that way of travelling, but at least it wasn’t Floo powder. I wouldn’t be using that even if my life depended on it.
 
Ginny had her back turned to us when the Portkey dropped us into their living room, and Harry had been standing a few feet away from her, staring at his son with an unreadable expression. I patted James’s hand and gave him a sympathetic frown, letting him know I was there for him before slipping out of the line of fire and sitting down in a nearby armchair.
 
And then she had turned around, making me sink further into my seat and try to camouflage myself as part of the furniture.
 
It had been crazy. For the first few minutes she had been so outraged that she was having a hard time forming coherent sentences. I kept my eyes nailed to the floor, trying to find interesting patterns on the carpet and ignore all the shouting.
 
It didn’t work out that well, but luckily Ginny hadn’t paid any attention to me.
 
And still didn’t. “That doesn’t matter. The point is that you didn’t think it was important enough to tell your mother that she’s going to be a grandmother soon!” she shouted at her son.
 
“I was going to tell you! It wasn’t my fault that the press found out! I don’t even know how that happened, I need to –”
 
“You don’t need to do anything else but to explain yourself,” Ginny cut him off. “How could you do that to us?”
 
I kept wishing that I didn’t have to be there, but I knew that even if I were given the choice, I wouldn’t have moved an inch. James needed me there, and I would do it for him. Probably even block a spell if his mother tried to hex him, it wouldn’t matter how scared I was myself.
 
I tried to concentrate on other things in the room to keep myself distracted from the two shouting people. I even took my time inspecting the broken Beater’s bat that was now lying abandoned on the floor next to an old glove that Harry and Ginny had used to make their way back home only a few moments before us.
 
My eyes spotted James’s father once again. He was still standing in the same spot, glancing back and forth between his wife and son. He opened and closed his mouth several times, trying to say something, but the words didn’t seem to be forming for him. And he also knew that it would be pointless to try and control the incandescent fury of the woman he loved. Ginny Potter was like Fiendfyre when she was on a roll.
 
It was quite funny actually, and if the situation were different I probably would’ve laughed. Harry dashed into horrible dangers in his job and the man had defeated the darkest wizard of them all, but when his wife was shouting, he knew it was better to stay out of the way.
 
“I’m sorry, okay? I should’ve told you –” James started, but Ginny interrupted again.
 
“Yes you should’ve!”
 
“And I was stupid not to!” James admitted, trying not to sound too irritated. “But I just – things happened and I didn’t want to deal with it and… I don’t know… I just started digesting the idea this week!”
 
“How long have you already known about this then?”
 
I could see the blush fighting its way onto my best friend’s cheeks. He didn’t want to answer that question, it would only cause more explosions. “I – awhile,” he mumbled as a response.
 
“How long, James?” the red-head repeated, fighting to keep her voice calmer.
 
James let out a long sigh. “The night before Gwenny’s accident.”
 
“The night be- you’ve known this for five weeks?! Five weeks, James?!” Ginny shouted, her Weasley temper breaking through once again.
 
“Yeah…”
 
“Five weeks and you still haven’t had the guts to tell us?”
 
“Well the first three weeks Gwenny was in the hospital and I couldn’t talk to her about it there!”
 
“Oh, don’t give me that, James Sirius Potter! That is just an excuse and you know it!” Ginny’s eyes flashed angrily. “Of course she’s important to you, but it still doesn’t mean you had to wait that long! Or do you think she’s the only one who cares?”
 
“No!” James responded instantly.
 
“I’ve told you this would happen! Haven’t I?” Ginny continued her rant. “I’ve told you several times that you’d end up getting a girl pregnant if you didn’t change your lifestyle! But no! ‘I know what I’m doing, mum’ – that’s what you always told me. Look how well things turned out!”
 
“I know, I know! I’m an idiot, you don’t have to tell me about it!” James shouted back.
 
“You got that right!”
 
James dropped his gaze to the floor and didn’t say anything to that. Ginny was breathing in and out furiously, trying to organize her thoughts and rubbing her temples with her fingertips while her son waited patiently for the next angry outburst.
 
I was proud of how he was handling himself, taking everything his mother wanted to shout at him and admitting it was true. He didn’t even try very hard to defend himself, knowing that it would be futile and only aggravate his mother more.
 
But I was also quite sure that he was feeling a bit relieved. I knew he had been dreading tomorrow and how he would break the news to his parents. Sure, she wouldn’t have been nearly as furious if he would’ve told it himself, but I’m not sure how he would’ve been able to do it. James didn’t like to admit things – especially the difficult ones – to other people and particularly to his parents. He always wanted to make them proud and nothing else. He needed their support.
 
“Which one?” Ginny questioned after a long moment of silence, sounding more neutral than she had for the whole conversation. It startled me.
 
“What do you mean?” James asked, not quite following.
 
“Well you’ve had quite a few girlfriends – I’m pretty certain I don’t even know about most of them,” she said, her tone gaining a mocking tint this time. “So which one of them is pregnant?”
 
“Oh… Kat.”
 
“The one who you dated around Christmas?” Ginny asked and James nodded. I could see the tiny frown in her expression and I remembered my discussion with her on Christmas – she hadn’t liked her at all. “Isn’t that perfect… how far along is she?”
 
“I – err… few months?”
 
For the first time in the past half an hour, James’s mother glanced in my direction. She didn’t have to say it, she was expecting a more detailed answer and she knew I could give her that. Her expression was a lot softer now, and I could see how hurt she was from her eyes – they were so similar to the hazel ones of her son that I knew so well.
 
I cleared my throat. “Ten-eleven weeks, something like that.”
 
She nodded.
 
James was still staring at the floor, waiting what was coming for him. There was another long silence, but before anyone could say another word, a distant knocking could be heard from the front door.
 
Ginny spun around and walked out of the room without another word, slamming the door shut and leaving us three to stare after her with dumbfounded expressions.
 
Harry was the last to turn his eyes away from the closed door. “So… quite a surprise you landed on us, son,” he eventually said.
 
“I know,” James muttered silently.
 
This was much more uncomfortable for him than facing his mother. While Ginny would scream and shout, Harry would sound disappointed and that would be a hard thing for my best friend to swallow.
 
“You could’ve warned us, you know? Your mum, she wouldn’t have been angry if you’d told us yourself.”
 
“I know,” James repeated.
 
“Well, what’s done is done. We can’t change that now, can we?”
 
James shook his head as a response.
 
“You’re certain it’s yours?”
 
“Got my final confirmation at the Healer’s appointment this week,” he responded after nodding.
 
“Hmh,” was Harry’s comment to that.
 
The room fell silent again as James avoided looking at his father and just waited for Harry to speak. I pondered whether I should leave and go after Ginny. I felt like I was disturbing a father-son moment. But apparently they weren’t too bothered by me.
 
Harry closed the distance between them after awhile. “She’ll calm down. She’s just hurt and feels like you didn’t trust her enough to tell her,” he said, patting James’s back a bit awkwardly. “So give her time, okay?”
 
“Yeah,” James nodded, not sounding that convinced.
 
The dark-haired Auror sat down on the couch and glanced in my direction quickly before speaking again. “Have you made any plans?”
 
“About what?” James questioned, still standing on the same spot. He was too restless to sit down.
 
“The future. Like, where’s the baby going to live? I know you and Kat broke up, but you never mentioned why. Are you going to get back together now, or what?” Harry clarified.
 
“Yeah, we – we actually moved her stuff at my flat this morning. We’ll see how it goes from there. I’m going to at least try –” he started, but was not able to finish the sentence.
 
His father looked like he understood it anyway. “Well, if you decide to marry her or something, please let your mother be the first one to know.”
 
“I will.”
 
“I think I should go and see who was at the door. And how she’s doing,” Harry said, nodding towards the hallway. “I’ll come back soon. There’s some dinner in the kitchen – I think – in case you’re hungry.”
 
James nodded. “Thanks, dad.”
 
Harry smiled a bit. “Just don’t let it happen again,” he said before getting up again walking out of the room.
 
James let out a long sigh after his father had closed the door. “I can’t believe I’m still alive. Remind me to buy gifts for whoever it was at the door.”
 
“Hmph. You always get off too easy. I think you’re the luckiest person on this planet.”
 
“Oh really?” James rolled his eyes at my comment. “I guess you didn’t see the reporters then?”
 
“Well of course, but that’ll turn out alright too in the end, you just wait and see.”
 
James chuckled before letting out an irritated groan. “Kat told them, didn’t she?”
 
I shrugged. “Well it sure wasn’t Freddy or me.”
 
“Didn’t even cross my mind,” James replied immediately. “I can’t believe she’d do that to me. She promised that I’d get to tell my family in my own time, and then we’d discuss how to talk to the press. She hadn’t told her parents yet, either, so I’m just having a hard time understanding why she’d do it.”
 
“Maybe it wasn’t her?” I suggested, not really believing that myself.
 
James let out an incredulous little hem. “Oh? Who then? Merlin?”
 
“I don’t know, maybe Dylan?”
 
“Same difference. It’s her fault still,” James replied immediately. “She shouldn’t have told him then.”
 
James was pacing around the room, racking his brain as he tried to figure out what he would have to do next. The reporters would be expecting some kind of statement from him soon, but I knew he would try to avoid that as long as possible, especially since he didn’t even know what would happen between him and Kat.
 
I felt so bad and all I wanted to do was something – anything – to help him feel better.
 
“Hug?” he questioned after awhile, glancing hopefully in my direction.
 
“You know you don’t have to ask that,” I said, spreading my arms open so he could slip into the same armchair with me.
 
We sat there for a long time in a comfortable silence, him squeezing me like I was his own personal teddy bear and me playing absentmindedly with his hair as I tried to distract myself from the feelings his closeness was stirring up in me.
 
We hadn’t spoken another word when the door opened again and Harry back walked in. “And tell your son how very, very disappointed I am with him!” Ginny’s words echoed from the hallway.
 
“It’s funny how he’s always my son when he does something stupid…” the messy-haired wizard muttered to himself and closed the door after him.
  

*

  
Ginny eventually came back too. She shouted some more, even cried a little – which I’m sure was a huge shock to James – but eventually ended up hugging her son and telling him it would all turn out alright. They started talking about the situation peacefully after that, but I don’t remember a lot of it as it was already past midnight at that point and my eyes kept closing involuntarily. Eventually, I fell asleep.
 
It was around seven o’clock when I snapped awake, immediately trying to look like I hadn’t been sleeping at all. But I quickly realised it was pointless since I was lying in my bed at the Potter house. James must have carried me upstairs at some point – he was now curled up against me, once again squeezing me as tight as he could.
 
Even in his sleep he somehow looked exhausted. I felt bad and my heart ached for him more than ever before, but there was nothing I could do. Maybe if I had told him about my feelings before any of this happened, things would’ve been different now.
 
But it was too late for that. I shouldn’t even be thinking about such things. I was with Joshua now and couldn’t go fawning after other guys, not even if I had still feelings for them, too.
 
I shifted into a slightly more uncomfortable position just so I didn’t have to stare at James and tried to close my eyes again. But I guess my movement had disturbed his sleep as I heard him make a little sound and tighten me against him even more.
 
“Where are you going?” he muttered tiredly.
 
“Nowhere,” I assured. “Go back to sleep, you haven’t had enough rest.”
 
“More than I’ve been getting lately. It’s always comfortable sleeping next to you.”
 
I let out a little sarcastic hem at that.
 
“It’s true,” his sleepy tone murmured close to my ear. “Maybe I should steal you from Joshua? I’d be in a much better mood on a daily basis if I slept this well every night.”
 
I ignored the butterflies in the bottom of my stomach. “And what? I’d sleep next to you and Kat? I bet she would love that.”
 
“That won’t matter,” he grunted a bit moodily from the reminder of the blonde girl. “There won’t be any sleeping next to her when I kick her out.”
 
I turned my head in his direction, frowning at him. “Oh come on. Are you really serious?”
 
“If she told the press…”
 
I cut him off immediately. “You shouldn’t say that if you don’t mean it.”
 
James didn’t continue, but I wasn’t certain whether it meant that he agreed with what I had said.
 
We spent a few hours trying to catch more sleep, but eventually decided it was useless. As we made our way downstairs, we found a note from Ginny and Harry telling us that they had already left to visit James’s grandparents and other relatives – to explain the situation.
 
My best friend frowned at the note. His parents had also recommended that we use the back yard’s disapparation point since the front gates were swarmed with reporters trying to get a glimpse of James. I didn’t even want to imagine the hysteria it would cause when they’d eventually see him and I was sure he was having similar thoughts.
 
When we were ready to leave, we made our way through the snowy back yard and into the forest surrounding the house. There was a small clearing not many yards into it where the charms preventing disapparation inside the boundaries were lifted – an emergency exit of sorts. From there it was easy to make it back to our place, apparating ourselves directly inside the protective charms of our apartment building and managing to avoid all sorts of confrontations with the press as they weren’t able to get into the private courtyard.
 
When we stepped inside and entered the elevator, I could feel James tense a bit as he prepared himself for the next argument. I kept hoping that Kat would’ve been wise enough to stay away, but I guess that was too much to ask for.
 
She was there when we walked in, sitting on the couch, still wearing the clothes as she had yesterday. I had never seen her look so out of sorts before. Her hair was sticking every which way and her whole face was filled with tear stains, showing that she had been crying for a long while.
 
“Get out!” was all that James said, not even glancing in her direction.
 
“It wasn’t my fault!” she cried immediately, her voice failing her badly.
 
“Oh save it for someone who cares! I’m not buying any of that crap! I want you out, NOW!”
 
Her sobbing grew even louder. “But it wasn’t me, it was Dylan,” she tried to stutter through it all.
 
James shrugged. “It’s you who told him,” he said, keeping his tone ice-cold as he leaned his elbows on the kitchen countertop and buried his head in his hands.
 
“And he promised he wouldn’t tell,” she replied immediately. “But he was so angry with you. He thinks you’re treating me like shit.”
 
James snapped his head back up at that and turned around to face Kat. “Oh, so that gives him the right to ruin my life completely, is that so?!” he shouted.
 
“Of course not!” the crying girl hurried to say. “I’m not saying what he did was right!”
 
“Then what, Kat? What are you saying?”
 
“That I’m sorry!” she wept. “I didn’t mean it to go like this! Any of this! Being pregnant is supposed to be a happy time, but all we do is fight and now this!” Her sobbing was only growing stronger with each passing moment.
 
My feelings were a big blur. More than anything I wanted to shout at her for hurting my best friend like this. But I also knew that James was in such a mood that he’d make rash decisions that he’d end up regretting and I didn’t want that. If he told her to leave now and couldn’t get her to come back later when he had calmed down, he’d never forgive himself.
 
“I can’t deal with this now. I want you gone when I came back,” he said, disappearing into the bedroom and leaving me alone with the hysterical girl.
 
I stood awkwardly near the door, not really knowing what to do when Kat burst into frantic sobs and buried her face in her hands. I didn’t know if I should say something or maybe walk after James. My head was buzzing as I tried to decide.
 
“I bet you’re happy now, aren’t you?”
 
I spun my head in her direction since I hadn’t expected her to talk. She was staring at me; tears were running down the beautiful girl’s cheeks and she didn’t do anything to try to stop them from falling.
 
“I – No, of course not,” I replied softly, biting my cheek to keep myself calm. “Why would I be?”
 
She laughed dully. “Because he’s kicking me out. He’s all yours again.”
 
I resisted rolling my eyes, and instead rubbed them with my right hand. “I don’t know how many ways I can tell you this, but he is not mine. Never has been.”
 
“Oh please, I can see right through that act!”
 
“Well, that’s not really my problem,” I snapped back
 
Kat buried her head in her hands again and continued to sob.  I kept wavering between the two possibilities that had seized my thoughts.
 
I wanted to punch her – hard – for what she’d done to James – even if it wasn’t necessarily her fault. Regardless, I was certain that she at least had something to do with it. But seeing her crying like this, I just couldn’t believe it could all be just an act. She seemed to really be hurting.
 
And then there was the baby to think about. Why couldn’t either of them understand how much harm all this stress could do? I wanted to smack them both for that.
 
I guess that was what made the decision for me. A repulsed groan almost escaped my lips when I realised what I was doing.
 
“Come on now, let’s try to calm down,” I said as I sat next to the crying girl. I opened and closed my hand a few times, before eventually managing to pat her back – quite awkwardly but hopeful that the thought counted.
 
She spun her head to face me immediately, a suspicious look in her eye. “What are you doing?” she hissed.
 
“Trying to make you stop crying.”
 
Kat’s eyes showed her disbelief and she studied my expression for a while, trying to see if I was being serious. “Why?” she then questioned. “We’re not friends. Why would you care?”
 
I pondered my answer for a moment. Truth to be told, I really didn’t know it myself. “I – well… because you’re expecting my best friend’s baby and you’re going to be a part of his life, I can’t ignore that,” I replied as honestly as I could.
 
Her expression fell even more. “Didn’t you just hear him? He wants me out, that doesn’t sound like I’m going to be here much longer?”
 
“He didn’t mean that, well not like that at least. And he does care…” somewhere deep down, I added to myself. “You need to understand how hard this is for him…”
 
“It’s not hard just for him,” she cut me off.
 
“Oh, I’m sure…” I hurried to admit. “But I don’t know – you seem to have accepted the whole situation much better than he has. James hasn’t even dealt with it properly.”
 
“But it’s been five weeks!”
 
I shrugged. “Yeah, well, that’s just the way he is.”
 
“So what, I just have to stay away and wait until he comes to his senses, is that what you’re saying?”
 
Yes, I wanted to say. And then I could tell him never to go near her again. He’d listen to me, he always did.
 
A sigh escaped my lips as I realised I couldn’t say that. “No… I’ll talk to him.”
 
Her eyes grew even more wary. “Why are you being nice to me?”
 
“Because I know him, and that he’d regret this decision otherwise.”
 
I knew she wasn’t buying it, not completely at least. But it was the truth. If this was what I had to do to help James and make him happier, then I would do it without hesitation.
 
“Well thanks, I guess,” she said eventually, still staring at me with her brows furrowed like she couldn’t believe what had just happened.
 
She wasn’t the only one.
 
She sniffed once more, wiping the tear stains from her face and I patted her back awkwardly again. I didn’t know how long or temporary this truce might be, but I hoped that it would make things a lot easier from now on.
 
“Really, Gwen?” James’s disappointed tone startled me and I found him standing in his bedroom doorway, looking at me with a cynical expression. “Are you honestly telling me that you believe her?”
 
“It doesn’t matter,” I replied. “You both need to calm down now and think about the baby. All this fighting and arguing can’t be good for it.”
 
James didn’t say anything; he just shook his head and went to the kitchen to make himself a drink.
 
Kat was still crying softly and I brushed her back a few times. “I’ll talk to him,” I said and got up from the couch. “Go clean yourself up, okay?”
 
She nodded through her tears and then made her way to the bathroom. As the door clicked shut, I approached my best friend.
 
James was ignoring me when I stopped by the counter and jumped to sit on it, watching him down a way-too-large glass of Firewhiskey. He slammed him glass back down and poured himself another one.
 
“You’re a real git, did you know that?” I asked him, examining his reaction at the same time.
 
“Is that so?” he muttered to the glass that was on his lips again, not even bothering to turn his eyes in my direction as he took a slow sip.
 
“Yep,” I said, popping the last letter out of my mouth sharper than normal.
 
“And you aren’t? You’re just suddenly all best friends with her, taking her side and everything?”
 
I let out a long sigh. “Well of course not. I’m always your best friend and on your side, no matter how big of a git you are. But I’m not going to be quiet about it when you deserve to hear it.”
 
“Mmhy,” was his reply.
 
“You need to talk to her.”
 
He laughed sarcastically. “No I don’t.”
 
“True. First you need to stop being a bloody idiot and then talk to her,” I retorted, gaining myself a nasty look from him.
 
“I – don’t – want – to,” he said, emphasizing every syllable carefully.
 
“Oh grow up already, can’t you hear how childish you’re being?” I snapped back. James just swirled the drink in his glass, keeping his mouth shut.
 
Why did he have to be like this? I didn’t want to argue with him, but he had to see how badly this could end. He couldn’t live with the guilt if this stupid fight ruined his chances with his own kid.
 
“Look, I know it’s hard, especially after what happened yesterday, but you can’t claim that you’ve been making the right decisions during the past five weeks either. You left her alone for the first three weeks! You keep avoiding her as much as possible, but still say that you’re trying to build a relationship with her again? I’m a bit surprised she even wants to try to make things work with you.” When James still didn’t comment anything, I added: “I wouldn’t.”
 
He did look at me at that, to see if I was serious, but quickly turned his eyes away again.
 
Stubborn much?
 
“And you’d never let anybody treat me that way either, so why are you doing it to her?” I continued, then pressing my lips firmly together and waited if he would finally give me a reply.
 
It was a struggle to keep myself from chuckling. If somebody had told me a week ago, that I’d actually be defending Kat out of all people to my best friend, I would’ve probably died out of laughter.
 
James kept whirling the brown liquid in the tumbler, staring at it like it was the most interesting thing in the room, with a sour look on his face. I knew he hadn’t liked what I had just said to him, but he needed to hear it. He needed to understand.
 
But he just kept ignoring me, and chucked the drink down his throat. As he prepared to pour himself another one, I had to open my mouth again.
 
“Please don’t do that.”
 
“Do what?” he muttered dully.
 
“Do you really think getting drunk will make this easier for you?”
 
“Yes,” he replied, but still put the stopper back in the bottle and shoved it into its rightful place. “Anything else?”
 
“Please don’t shout. She seemed really broken about it all, I’m sure her parents have been giving her a hard time too and she doesn’t have a friend to turn to since she’s clearly fighting with Dylan over this.”
 
James just crossed his arms moodily and leaned his back on the counter. “Else?”
 
“Be nice.”
 
His response was a loud groan.
 
“Please?”
 
“Fine,” he murmured grumpily, turning his head in the direction of the bathroom.
 
“I’ll go now,” I said as I spotted Kat entering the room. “You know where to find me if you need me.”
 
James was still sulking and didn’t say anything to that. But I wasn’t too worried, I knew he’d get over it once they’d had their talk, and he realised I had been right to do it.
 
I nodded my goodbyes to the blonde girl and exited my best friend’s apartment. I didn’t even make it to my door before James came up behind me and pulled me into a hug.
 
“I’m sorry,” he whispered in my ear. “I’m being a real prat, aren’t I?”
 
“Just a bit.” I chuckled, feeling surprised that he had actually come to his senses so easily. “I’m sorry too, for being so harsh.”
 
I could feel him shaking his head. “No, it’s fine. You were right, I needed to hear that.”
 
James kept squeezing me tight, refusing to let go. I wouldn’t have wanted him to either, but Kat was waiting and he really needed to get on with things.
 
“Come on now,” I said as I patted his back. “You need to get your arse back there.”
 
“I don’t know what to say,” he mumbled into my hair.
 
“Sure you do. Just tell her how you feel, you do it to me all the time.”
 
“It’s different with you…”
 
I frowned, thankful that he couldn’t see it as he was still hugging me. Why did he always have to make it so difficult for me by saying such things?
 
“You can’t know that if you don’t try, okay?”
 
He nodded as he finally let me go, a sad frown on his face. “I’ve been really shitty to her, haven’t I?”
 
“Well, she hasn’t been the easiest either. You both have your faults, so try to remember that if you’re feeling aggravated, okay?”
 
His hazel eyes told me that he’d at least try, although he wasn’t expecting it to go so smoothly.
 
I flashed him a comforting smile before taking one step backwards. “I think I’ll go check whether Joshua’s home. See you tomorrow?”
 
James smiled too and said his goodbyes, then watched me make my way toward the staircase. I was halfway between the two floors when I heard him shut the door and I knew he had returned to his flat. Wishing him the best of luck, I made my way down the few remaining steps.
 
As I made it to the floor, I started to feel the nervous fluttering in the bottom of my stomach. I should’ve thought this through better before I decided to come. What would Joshua think of this surprise visit? Or he might be busy, what would I say then?
 
I quickly shook the hesitating thoughts out of my head. None of that would matter. He was my boyfriend now and I could visit him if I wanted to. But I really should’ve at least checked myself in the mirror first.
 
Trying to brush my hair with my fingers, I probably ended up making it look worse. I forced myself to ignore it and quickly knocked on the door before I started to doubt myself again. A few moments passed and then the door opened, revealing the stunning Healer.
 
“Hey,” I squeaked, still feeling a bit uneasy about his possible reaction. I was pleasantly surprised as his whole face lit up at the sight of me.
 
“Hi! I wasn’t expecting you yet!” he beamed and pulled the door more open to let me in.
 
“You were expecting me?” I questioned, raising one brow at his statement.
 
“Well, hoping really,” he grinned as he slipped his hand around my waist and pulled me closer to give me a soft kiss.
 
“I’ve missed you,” he muttered against my lips. “But I guess you had a good reason for not showing up last night.”
 
“You heard?” I questioned with a frown.
 
“It was all over the Prophet and every other newspaper. So it’s true then?”
 
“Apparently.”
 
“He didn’t know about it before?”
 
“Oh, he did, he did,” I hurried to say. “And I did too. It’s just – you never know with these fan girls… but James seems to be convinced, so I guess that should be enough.”
 
“You’re not convinced then?”
 
I shrugged. “Well I haven’t seen the proof like he has, so that’s probably why I’m still a bit suspicious.”
 
“I’m sure it’ll all turn out alright.”
 
I nodded and then turned to have a proper look at his apartment.
 
“Wow, I didn’t realise you had the whole floor to yourself! I’d always assumed nobody wanted to live in the same floor with Mr. Blishwick and that the other flat was just empty!”  I said in awe as I stared around the huge apartment bewilderedly. I hadn’t been inside before and I had just assumed that it was an exact copy of my place. It was actually two apartments combined into one big one.
 
“Come on, I’ll show you around.”
 
Joshua held out his hand to me and I took it, feeling glad that I’d decided to come. It had been stupid to nervous when everything was always so natural with him.
 
I was already glancing around curiously, eager to learn more things about my boyfriend – I wasn’t paying that much attention to what he was doing. A squeal left my lips when I suddenly felt my feet disappear from under me as he scooped me up from the floor.
 
“What are you doing?” I glanced at him amusedly and wrapped my hands around his neck.
 
“I changed my mind. You’ll have all the time to snoop around my place later,” he told me, carrying me towards the closed door that I soon found out to be the entrance to his bedroom. I was laughing the whole way, keeping my eyes fixed on his gorgeous face.
 
Joshua lowered me on his bed carefully, placing himself next to me. “You’re too addicting,” he muttered, his mouth brushing gentle kisses on my neck and sending shivers down my spine.”
 
“You say it like it’s a bad thing,” I said, barely able to concentrate on the words coming from my mouth. I was too distracted to even think about anything else than his warm lips and soft fingers.
 
“It is,” he admitted, rolling himself on top of me and capturing my attention with his smile. “I can’t control myself at all when I’m around you.”
 
I was all swoons when he leaned closer to kiss me again. The happenings of the last twenty-four hours felt so far away – hell, I could barely remember my own name at that point. Everything felt intoxicating.
 
Our heavy breathing filled the whole room as we struggled out of all the unnecessary clothing that was on our way. I sunk my hands into his silky hair to pull his face closer to mine, not able to get enough of his passionate kisses.
 
It was crazy, how strong my feelings towards him were. I had not realised how badly I had already fallen for him. That scared me as I had not thought it to be possible – considering my feelings towards my best friend – but somehow it had happened.
 
He made me feel happy and that was the exact thing I needed.




 A/N: Hi guys ^^

So, what did you think? Did Ginny react like you thought she would? What about Harry? And what did you think of Gwen and Kat's bonding moment?

Once again I'd be forever grateful if you took the time and left me a little review.

Oh, and something else! I have a new story! So exciting! At least I'm excited d: Anyways, it's an Sirius/OC and I'd love you forever if you read it and told me your opinion ^^

Take care!

~E

 


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Trying not to love you: Chapter seventeen - Outburst

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