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Call Me Finn by Everlasting Faerie Light
Chapter 1 : Me and My Boys
 
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 6


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“Oi, what about her?” Louis asked with a smirk as he took another swig of his butterbeer.

I focused on the girl that Louis was referring to. I’ve definitely seen her around before. Probably a Hufflepuff. Long blonde hair, pretty face, blue eyes, big tits, a nice arse, rockin’ curves….I smiled and rose an eyebrow.

“Definitely a nine,” I answered, eyeing the girl as she threw back her head and laughed at a joke that one of her (not-as-attractive) friends said.

“Really? I was thinking more of an eight.”

I scoffed and turned to look at my best mate. His light blue eyes were eyeing the girl skeptically, that permanent smirk plastered on his face as he took another swig from his butterbeer bottle. Wow, so hardcore Louis.

“You definitely don’t know a nice bitch when you see one,” I said snatching the bottle out of his hand, and  taking a swig of it. Yummmm. I love butterbeer.

Louis smacked me on the shoulder, “You shouldn’t be talking. Remember that Slytherin bint you shagged last year? She sure as hell wasn’t a walk in the bloody park.”

“That doesn’t count. I was piss drunk and under the dim light, she looked sort of attractive,” I retaliated as I took another drink from the butterbeer.

“She had the nose the size of a hippogriff, Finn. Even firewhiskey couldn’t hide that fact.”

“Oh please. She was better than your catch. May I remind you of the lovely Mia Langley?” I grinned evilly as Louis blanched and shuddered.

“Gimme that!” He snapped as he snatched the butterbeer from my hand and took another swig.

Dammit. He took the butterbeer. I’m sad now.

Ah yes, Mia Langley. I remember that bitch. She’s a total slag…and I honestly wouldn’t have a problem with that if she at least carried out her slag-like duties with some class. Hell, I would totally go for her myself if she wasn’t such a damn dunderhead.

Plus, she doesn’t swing that way. Shame.

Anyway…

Let me introduce myself.

My name is Isabella Persephone Finnaree.

But I don’t go by that name. I go by Finn. Just Finn. Sometimes I’ll go by Huck Finn, but that’s only if I give you permission.

The only people who call me Isabella are my grandparents, but they’re on their way out anyways. They’re fucking ancient.

What can I say? I’m a sixth year Ravenclaw, my favorite subject is transfiguration, I’m the keeper on the Quidditch team, and my best friend is Louis Weasley.

Oh, and if you’re a bloke, don’t even bother.

You see, I like girls.

I think I’ve always been like that. I had my first crush when I was seven and it was on Adele Rogers, a small cutie with blonde pigtails and brown eyes. During play time, I convinced her to play house with me. I would be the daddy and she would be the mummy. I also told her that it was normal for mummies and daddies to kiss. So I kissed her smack on the lips. Oh, the teacher had a hissy fit and Adele flipped her little seven year old shit, but it was so worth it.

So, I like my girls. But I’m sort of picky…well…when I’m sober. I only go for the bestest of the best. You know, the perfect combo of looks and personality.

You’d be surprised at how many girls at Hogwarts are actually willing to experiment with another girl.

“Oh, shit! Hide me!” Louis exclaimed, his eyes popping out as he frantically dropped to his knees and hid under the table. The people at the next table gave us a strange look.

I looked in the direction that Louis was cowering in and laughed.

It was Serena Elliot. An annoying-as-hell blonde Hufflepuff with a personality equivalent to a flobberworm. She’s a damn good looker, but when she opens her mouth, I want to hack my ears off with a spade.

She’s also Louis’s girlfriend.

Long story there that involves me, the giant squid, the whomping willow, and endless amounts of cheese. Anyways, the point is...he can’t stand her now. He liked snogging her, but even that can get a bit boring, can’t it?

And he's too much of a damn coward to end it himself.

Honestly.

I'm more of a man than he is.

Serena’s green eyes scanned over the milling students and other inhabitants of the busy Three Broomsticks. I rolled my eyes and looked down to see that half of Louis’s body was sticking out.

“Very discreet, Weasley,” I said sarcastically.

“Shut up, Finn.”

“Honestly, just ditch her. It’s not that hard. There may be some tears and screaming and…maybe some hexes, but she’ll cool down. Bitches like her are all the same.”

“I said shut u-…oh bollocks! She’s coming this way! What do I do? What do I do?” he said frantically. I could see him attempting to hide himself more efficiently. It wasn’t working.

But before I could say anything, the bitch herself was at our table. She was glaring down at Louis with a facial expression that could rival an ogre.

“Louis! Why are you under a table?” she whined in that annoying sugary voice that made me want to gag. I’ll never EVER date a girl with a sugary voice. They’re just so irritating and fake and eww…

“Erm…I was…er…well you see, I thought I saw a…erm….”

Serena’s stare turned even colder.

“A crumple horned snorkack!” he exclaimed suddenly.

I snorted. Way to take a leaf from Lysander’s book, Louis.

“A what?” Serena demanded, ignoring me. She’s so inconsiderate. Did I mention that I don’t like this bitch?

“It’s one of those creatures that…erm….well…they get your brain all fuzzy and I was irritated…and…it…erm…went under the table and I wanted to get rid of it….” He stuttered uneasily.

I snorted again, this time, not able to hold back my laughter. First of all, he’s thinking of a wrackspurt. I’m not a lunatic, but I do listen to Lysander’s otherworldly rants every day in the common room…that is…when he’s not snogging his bitch of a girlfriend Lily. Yes, that little bint may be Louis’s attractive and fiery seventh year cousin, but she and I never got along well. I don’t understand how someone as translucent and dreamy as Lysander can date a ruthless wench like Lily Luna Potter.

Oh well…she’s hell loads better than Serena Elliot.

Who, by the way was glaring at me now.

“What’s so funny, Isabella?” she spat at me, narrowing her heavily outlined eyes at me and pursing her over glossed lips at me. She looked like a fish on steroids.

I did mention that my grandparents are the only ones who call me Isabella…well, forget that. I forgot to mention that Serena calls me Isabella just to spite me. Fucking slag hates me. I don’t know why. I’ve never done anything to her and it’s not like I’m viable competition for Louis’s affections.

“Your face,” I answered.

“You are such a bitch,” she whined.

“And you are such a whore,” I retaliated.

Louis still hadn’t left from beneath the table. I think I’ll just finish off his butterbeer. I grabbed it and started to chug it.

“Well, whatever. Louis, you said that you’d meet me at Madam Puddifoot’s two hours ago,” she drawled, her eyes watering as she pouted down at the poor bloke.

I just kept chugging the butterbeer.

I knew that about a million curse words were running through Louis’s head right now.

“Er….” He said blankly.

“I made reservations and everything!” she continued.

I couldn’t help it. I laughed out loud again, butterbeer travelling oh-so-gracefully up my nose. Louis? At Madame Puddifoots? With Serena Elliot? Now that’s something I’d pay ten galleons to see.

I don’t understand why the bitches all love that damn rancid place. It looks like Cupid threw up in there.

She glared at me again, her eyes narrowing dangerously.

“It’s not funny…” she drawled, putting emphasis on the word funny. Eyeing me with disgust, she flipped her straight blonde hair over her shoulder. Honestly, how superficial can you get?

“It sure as hell is. Given the fact that he doesn’t want to go with you,” I said nonchalantly, smirking as I grabbed a handful of napkins to wipe up the mess I had just made.

“What?” she asked, her eyes going wide.

“Get it through your thick skull, Elliot. Louis Weasley does NOT want to go with you to Madame Puddifoot’s,” I stated firmly, a mixture of irritation and amusement flickering over my expression. I felt my eye twitch slightly. See, this is what slags like Serena Elliot do to me.

“Finn…” came the warning tone of Louis from under the table.

“Of course he does! He’s my boyfriend!” she shrieked. She pointed an accusing finger at me, her eyes popping out of her head wildly, her lips trembling profusely.

You! You’re trying to steal him away from me!” she accused. Her squeaking voice grated against my eardrums.

I stared at her blankly before giving a large sigh.

Oh, this was going to be good. And slightly ugly, no doubt.

But of course, I couldn’t just let an opportunity like this slip through my fingers, now could I?

I looked at her with the most sincere expression that I could muster, “You’re right, Serena. I am trying to steal him away from you. I’m just sooo in love with him and I have every intention of carrying his child in the near future…”

She backed up slowly, the tears spilling from her eyes and down her foundation-coated cheeks, taking the heavy amounts of eyeliner and mascara with them.

“I-I KNEW IT!!! All along!!!” She glared back down at Louis under the table with a devastated expression written on her face.

“Why w-would you choose h-her over me? I-I can’t believe you, Louis! We’re THROUGH!!!” She screamed the last part in the most dramatic fashion that she could, throwing her head back and swinging her hair before spinning on her heel and charging away, toward the exit.

Her sobs reverberated throughout the pub, finally fading away as she made it out through the door, a few people here and there looking after her with questionable expressions.

After about a minute, Louis came up from beneath the table, a slightly terrified look on his face.

“Shit. I won’t hear the end of this,” he stated.

I shrugged nonchalantly. “You’re welcome.”

He stared at me for a while before breaking out into a huge grin.

“Thank a million, Finn.”

I smirked at him and responded, “You know, there will come a time where I won’t be around and you’re going to have fix it yourself like a big boy.”

He looked genuinely frightened at the prospect.  He exclaimed, “No! I can’t survive without you! When I get married to some hot chick from America, you’re going to live with us and help me get through her bitch fits!”

I gave him a skeptical glance. “What’s the probability of you ending up with a hot chick from America?”

“James did!”

“True. Elaquay is damn fine,” I stated, thinking of the short American redhead. I love that girl. Not only is she damn attractive, but she’s a fucking good time.

“Don’t hit on my brother’s girlfriend. That’s just weird,” Louis said with a slight cringe.

I just shrugged and drained the contents of the butterbeer.

“Hey!!” He snatched the butterbeer bottle from my hand and glared at me. “I paid for this drink, dammit! You owe me!”

I laughed at him and even though he was fighting it, he broke out into a grin. His light blue eyes shined gently. He always found my laugh really funny just like I found his feet funny. Honestly, those things at the end of his legs are like mutants.

After a few more moments of joking and teasing and making fun of each other’s physical features, we left the Three Broomsticks and trudged through the relatively hot sun, to Honeydukes. I grabbed a few sugar quills and about a trillion packs of licorice wands.

Licorice wands.

What the hell could beat the euphoric feeling of eating a licorice wand?

It was almost like… snogging a beautiful girl on top of the astronomy tower after taking a few shots of firewhiskey.

“Oi, Weasley! Huck Finn!”

I knew that voice anywhere.

I spun around to see a group of four boys head toward us, snaking their way through the massive shelves and piles of sweets.

Ahhh! It’s my boys!

There was Hugo, with his fiery red hair and crooked smile, Ben, whose swishy perfect hair totally pwns Justin Bieber’s, Eric, with his big big BIG grey eyes that stare into your soul, and Fred, who was totally badass for a fourth year.

“No way! I was looking for these!” Hugo exclaimed, grabbing the big box of cockroach clusters from his cousin’s hands. Louis looked insulted as his box of favorite sweets was ripped from his hands.

Fred snatched a licorice wand from my hand and stuffed it into his mouth, his eyes shining wickedly at me in triumph. I punched him on the shoulder and glared at him menacingly. No one…and I mean NO ONE can just take my licorice wands!

“Give me back my cockroach clusters!” Louis growled.

Hugo smirked at him and held it above his head.

I rolled my eyes. They’re such girls.

Seriously.

“Just grab another one,” I suggested to Louis after I swallowed a mouthful of licorice wand.

“That was the last one!”

“Oh boo-hoo.”

“Aren’t you supposed to pay for those?” he motioned toward the remainder of my licorice wands.

“Since when have I ever paid?” I retaliated.

“Good point,” he responded. Eric was already stuffing his pockets with various amounts of sweets.

“I say that we book it and go back to the lake,” Ben said with a very dramatic swish of his hair. I giggled. His hair is just so…so…SWISHY.

“What are you laughing at?” he demanded.

“You’re hair,” I said through giggles.

He looked affronted as he said, “What the hell is so funny about my hair?”

“How much time do you spend on it in the morning?” I asked as I finished off my last licorice wand.

“Why do you care?” he snapped, giving his hair a huge swish.

“Whoa, okay. Jeez. Defensive much?” I asked, raising my eyebrows, a smirk still playing on my lips.

Louis grabbed a huge fistful of cockroach clusters from the opened box and stuffed them in his mouth hurriedly as he asked in an irritated voice, “Why would we go to the lake?”

But due to his full mouth, it sounded more like “Vhy vood ve gof tho tha vlake?”

Fred smirked as he opened up a chocolate frog and hurriedly caught the jumping candy, stuffing it into his mouth. Once he swallowed, he answered, “My dear cousin, don’t you understand? It’s a beautiful day don’t you think?”

“Erm…so?” Louis answered as he grabbed another fistful. Hugo irritatingly pulled the box away from him.

“On nice days, the lovely population of Hogwarts goes for a swim or lies out under the sun. And that includes the female population as well.”

“Oh, and don’t forget the bikinis!” Hugo exclaimed as he attempted to scoop the last of the cockroach clusters before Louis could notice.

“But of course, Louis can’t join in on the fun because he has a lovely girl at his side….” Eric drawled, his eyes getting wider and wider.

“With a nice arse.”

“And nice tits.”

“And pretty hair.”

“Not to mention an awful personality.”

“And brain…or lack thereof.”

“And an annoying voice.”

I raised both of my hands up in the air in triumph and announced, “Not to worry, muthafuckas! I got it taken care of!”

Hugo dropped the box of cockroach clusters. He stared at me in shock, as did the other boys, with the exception of Louis, who was grinning at me.

“You mean…you actually managed to unattach the leech?” Ben asked, his eyes wide (although not as wide as Eric’s) as he stared at me in complete awe.

“Yup. All me,” I stated, smirking my cocky smirk.

“How? I mean…that girl was a class A clinger!” Fred exclaimed as he opened a huge box of Bertie Bott’s beans. 

I gave a laugh and answered, “It’s one of the many benefits of being a girl, especially in situations like that.”

Ben stared at me and sighed slightly in wonder. “Not to offend you or anything, Huck, but sometimes I forget that you’re a girl.”

I blew him off.

“Pshhh, I wouldn’t expect otherwise. Sometimes I even forget it myself. Girls are just so irritating,” I stated firmly, crossing my arms.

There was a murmur of agreement among the boys.

Hugo piped up suddenly, “Alright, let’s get out of here before the old codger can catch us again. I know that he’s getting more and more blind each day, but he’s still damn frightening.”

Totally true.

Whenever we come into Honeyduke’s, we just go to the discreet shelves near the cellar and then stuff ourselves. After that, we get the hell out of there.

It’s just the way it works. The old cashier here, Richard, is as blind as a damn bat.

Plus, the security system at the place sucks. I mean, you’d think that it being one of the most famous magical sweet shops that it would have damn good security…but it really doesn’t. I mean, for fuck’s sake, there’s a trap door that leads from the cellar to Hogwarts! That’s easy access to free sweets.

And easy access for escape.

Once we finished stuffing ourselves, we snuck around the ol’ codger and into the cellar. The boys were ahead of Louis and I, talking animatedly about a combination of both quidditch and girls.

Louis looked at me, his blue eyes twinkling. He threw his arm around my shoulder and grinned down at me.

Damn, when did he get so tall again? I remember the good ol’ days when he and I were the same height. Now I’m at his chin. Talk about feeling overpowered.

“Bet you that I can seduce Erica Sanders before you can,” he said with a sly smile.

Ooh…Erica Sanders. I heard she swings both ways. And damn she’s fine. Talk about olive skin tone and smoldering eyes and a nice arse….

“Twenty galleons,” I stated.

“You’re on, Huck Finn.

~~~

A/N: Alright, so here's my new Next generation story. It's a bit different from the norm, I realize, but I hope that you'll enjoy it!!

Oh, and Huck Finn belongs to Mark Twain. He's the genius that wrote The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.

 




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