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Hate to Love by Spaz
Chapter 12 : Erased From Your Memory
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 1

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Christmas holidays came quickly, and I was so excited to see Kale. I was excited to get back together and try again without it being such a big risk. And I was relieved to get away from Draco. Maybe some time away would give me some sense back.

But at the same time I would miss him. But only a little bit. And if anyone asked, I would deny even thinking I'd miss him.

Pretty much everyone was leaving for holidays. Hermione was spending the holidays with Ron and his big family. Harry was going to Luna's and meeting her Father for the first time. And I of course would be at Kale's house. His parents are going to be on a cruise, so it's going to be just us and his older brother, Cole.

The night before leaving, Hermione and I packed our things excitedly. "I'm so happy I finally get to see Kale tomorrow!" I smiled. "I wonder if he's even changed a little bit. Three months is the longest I've ever gone without seeing him."

"Sloane, I think it's great you're trying things with Kale again, but are you sure you can control your feelings for Draco?" Hermione asked.

I scoffed. "Of course I can. And I'd hardly call them feelings anyways." I said.

"Are you sure? You don't want end up cheating on Kale."

"I won't. Which is why I already told him about me kissing Draco. That proves that I care enough about him not to cheat." I said confidently. "You worry too much, Hermione. Things between me and Kale are going to be perfect."

I didn't want to do it, but it had to be done. Last night things had gone way too far. And if anyone especially him ever found out what happened things would go from bad to worse. I had never pictured it happening like that, losing my virginity, but then again who does?

Who pictures their drunk boyfriend making them do something they didn't want to? Something they weren't ready for just yet? No one.

I wonder if he remembers. I hope not. This will be ten times easier if he doesn't remember a thing. It will be easier to leave this way. Here he comes, he's smiling. Probably because he has no idea what I'm about to say.

"Hey, babe." He said kissing me. Our last kiss. I started crying.

"What's wrong?" He asked hugging me.

"I-I can't be your girlfriend anymore." I cried.

He's stepped away as though I had slapped him. "What do you mean?"

"We can't be together anymore. I'm breaking up with you." I said sobbing by this point.

"But why?" He asked. "Did I do something wrong? Was it something I did? I can fix whatever it is." His voice was so desperate, it made me cry harder.

I shook my head, not being able to speak. "Sloane, please, tell me what it is. Tell me what I can do to change your mind." Tears rolled down his face as he searched my eyes trying to find some explanation as to why I was doing this.

"Nothing." I chocked out. "There's nothing you can do. I'm sorry, I just can't do this anymore."

"B-but I don't understand. I thought everything was perfect. That we were going to be together forever."

I shook my head again. "It won't work." I whispered. "It will never work out between us, and I'm sorry."

" can't leave me. I love you." He cried.

"I love you too." I sobbed. "That's why I'm doing this." I turned away quickly and ran away from him, leaving a piece of my heart there with him.


I sighed happily as the train started moving. I sat in a compartment with Hermione, Ron, Harry and Luna. I felt a little out of place because I wasn't apart of a couple, but I didn't mind. Soon, I would be under a mistle toe with Kale.

After I had left my friends, I waited for the Knight Bus. Kale said that he couldn't meet me there because he had a big surprise to plan for me for when I got there. The Knight Bus finally arrived, and I experienced possibly the worst fifteen minutes of my life. Honestly, it should be illegal for that Ernie guy to be driving.

When I reached Kale's front door, I didn't bother knocking or anything, I used to practically live there. I opened the door and walked in.

"Hello?" I called out.

"Sloane, is that you?" Cole's voice asked from the living room.

"Yeah." I answered walking into the room.

"Um, you're uh kinda early." He said.

"Am I?" I asked. "I didn't realize. Anyways, where's Kale?"

"Er, upstairs in his room. Why don't you go up there? Don't knock, just go right in and surprise him."

"That's a good idea." I grinned. I hurried up the stairs and stood in front of his door for a second and took a deep breath and opened it. The smile quickly slid off of my face when I saw what Kale was doing. Or more like who he was about to do.

I had walked in on Kale making out with Gloria Hilden with like half their clothes on. "What the fuck!" I screamed.

Kale's eyes widened as he saw me. "Sloane! This isn't what it looks like!" I looked at him in disgust. Gloria's ugly ass lipstick was smeared all over his face.

"Really, so you weren't getting ready to fuck that slut?" I asked angrily.

"Kale what the hell is she doing here?" Gloria asked. "I thought you said things were completely over between you two."

"Well, that's definitely true now." I said. I couldn't look at the two of them, so I looked around the room instead. Things sure had changed. Every single picture that Kale had of me was gone and replaced with pictures of him and Gloria instead. I looked at his dresser next to me. There had always been a picture of me and him in a frame.

But not anymore. A picture of him and Gloria had taken it's place. I picked up the picture frame angrily and looked at it. I was so mad, I was cracking the glass from holding it so tightly. It cut my hand but I didn't even feel it.

I threw the picture frame. It narrowly missed Kale's head and smashed into the wall. "Did you get rid of everything that had to do with me?!" I screamed. "Did you erase me from your memory or something?!"

"No, of course not." Kale said quickly. "Honestly I can explain everything."

"Really, you can explain why you lied to me? Why you replaced me with her? Why you thought this was okay? You can explain all of that?"

"What is she talking about?" Gloria asked.

"I'm talking about for the last three months, Kale has been writing me saying he wants me back, that he loves me, that he wants to try one more time. A bunch of lies." I said.

"Those weren't lies." He insisted.

"That's hard to believe when I catch you making out with her. We hadn't even gotten back together and you're already cheating." I shook my head. "But I guess I should be lucky, at least I found out before I made a huge mistake again."

"Sloane, come on." Kale begged. "This is nothing, it's just a fling. You're the one I love, you know that."

"Oh, yes, because nothing says I love you like 'Hey, Sloane, I'm fucking Gloria Hilden'!" I yelled.

"What do you mean a fling?!" Gloria demanded. "You said you loved me."

"Kale says a lot of things he doesn't mean." I said. I was holding back tears like my life depended on it. I refused to cry because of this. Not a single tear would fall from my eyes. And most certaintly not in front of Kale.

I roughly opened my trunk and pulled out all the letters Kale had written to me in the last three months. I threw them at Gloria. "Just in case you don't believe me, there's some proof that he was lying to us both."

I turned to leave. "Where are you going?" Kale asked.

"As much fun as this has been, I'm going back to Hogwarts. We're through forever." I said. "Don't write me anymore, I won't respond."

"You can't leave me again, you're making a mistake." He said.

"The first time I left was a mistake. This time, I know I'm making the right choice." I sighed. "As I said before, this has been fun, let's never do it again." I continued walking.

When I got downstairs, Cole gave me a sad look. "I'm sorry. You had to know."

I gave him a sad smile back. "Don't be sorry. Thank you." I said. "Can I use your fireplace? I need to floo back to Hogwarts."

"Sure." He said. He walked me there. Before I grabbed the floo powder, he kissed me.

I stared at him shocked. He smiled and pointed to the ceiling and said "Mistletoe."

I half laughed and grabbed the Floo Powder. "Hogwarts, Gryffindor common room!" I shouted.

On the other side, I was met with a surprised looking Neville. "Sloane what are you doing here?" He asked.

"I had a change of plans." I said quietly.

"Oh, well, do you want to play Wizard's Chess with me?" He asked.

"Later, okay?" I said.

"All right." Neville said going back to his plant. After taking my trunk up to my room, I left Gryffindor Tower and walked around alone. It didn't take long for me to finally break down. I was so angry at Kale, and I was so hurt and I felt so stupid.

I had fallen for his little act. How had I not seen it? Did I really think that Kale loved me so much there wouldn't be some other girl? That he would seriously wait for me? I thought I knew him, but apparently I didn't.

The hot tears heated my cold face as they slid down. Every so often, I would wipe my eyes, attempting to make the tears stop.

"Sloane, is that you?" A voice asked from behind me. I recognized the voice. It was the voice of the only person I could actually tolerate to be around right now. Draco.

I turned around, wiping my eyes quickly. "What happened to your little boyfriend?" He asked smirking.

"He's not my boyfriend, he's a cheating liar." I said, my voice trembling.

His face quickly changed once he had gotten closer, and heard my voice. "What happened?" He asked concerned.

I shook my head, as more tears spilled. "I'm just stupid." I cried. "Just so stupid. I believed him. I thought I knew exactly who he was, and I was wrong."

"Shh." He said bringing me closer as I cried into his chest. "You're not stupid, love. He is." He wrapped his arms around me.

Eventually I told Draco exactly what happened. I had also stopped crying. "He really is stupid." Draco said. "Who would chose some slut over you?"

I smiled as we walked. Out of the corner I saw Draco slowly reach for my hand, and then stop. I was a little disappointed. "What happened to your hand?" He asked.

I looked down, and saw it smeared with blood. I hadn't even noticed. "Cut my hand." I said as I bent down to pick up some snow. I rubbed it against my hand until the blood disappeared.

"Do you want me to get you a bandage or something?" He asked.

I shook my head. "No it's fine, it doesn't even hurt. Though, it is really cold now."

"I can fix that." Draco said as he took my hand in his, intertwining our fingers. I smiled. "Is your hand warmer now?" He asked.

"Yes." I said.

We entered the castle again, not saying much, until we just stopped walking. I looked up, above us was a mistletoe. He looked up too. I reached up and kissed him.

When we pulled away, he didn't look as happy as I thought he'd be. "What's wrong?" I asked. "Did you not want me to kiss you?"

"No, that's not it." He said quickly. "It's just I wish you would kiss me because you actually want to."

"What do you mean?" I asked confused.

"I mean, like at the party, you only kissed me because you were drunk. And after that, I was the one who kissed you, you just didn't push me away. And now the mistletoe is the only reason you kissed me. I want you to want to kiss me." Draco explained.

I backed up, pulling him with me so we were no longer under the mistletoe. Then I kissed him again, passiontely.

"I haven't had anything to drink, there's no mistletoe. I kissed you because I wanted to." I whispered.

He smiled before kissing me again. He kissed me hard as I pushed him against the wall. He groaned and forcefully brought my body closer. I guess now I was truly done fighting him. I was finally giving in and I was okay with that.

We pulled away breathlessly. "You wanna go back to my room?" He asked.

"Yes please." I answered without a second thought.

I never thought this would happen. I never thought that I would end up pinning Draco Malfoy down on his bed as we kissed heatedly. Nor did I ever think that I would have his jacket, scraf and shirt off in under three minutes.

I guess all that time pretending not to want him got to me and now I wanted him even more than before. Draco managed to get me to stop pinning his arms above his head and started removing my shirt.

I allow him to take it off. His face was fixed in a smirk as he took my shirt off as though he was thinking over all the things he was going to do to me. I would be lying if is said that didn't turn me on even more.

He kissed me again, with desperation and passion, I could tell he wanted me just as bad as I wanted him. His hands never stayed in just one place. Not like I wanted them to, anyways.

I pulled out of the kiss as I straddled Draco I leaned down and started to kiss him neck. From the corner of my eye, I can see Draco biting his lip in pleasure. After a few minutes of him moaning, he grabs my hair and gently pulls my head back, I can see that I left my mark.

The smirk I have slides off my face as Draco starts lightly nibbling neck. I don't think anything had ever felt so good. This was even better than my dreams. As I let out a soft moan, Draco continued to both nibble and pull me back gently.

He had me at his will, I moved the way he wanted me to. I was no longer on top of him. We were both on our sides, and he was kissing me on the lips again.

As Draco's hands moved over my chest, I got chills. I don't know if it was because of him or the cold. Whatever it was, it somehow made me want him more. My hands slid down his chest to his pants, which I started to unbutton.

"Woah." Draco whispered in excitement. I was excited too, honestly. He pulled me back on top of him. I tenderly kissed his muscular chest.

"Damn." He moaned. Oh, how I was loving this. As my lips met his again, we heard footsteps. We both stopped. Draco sat up quickly, causing me to roll off of him, and onto the floor.

"Under the bed." Draco whispered. I didn't need to be told twice, I quickly got under as the door opened.

"What's up mate?" Blaise's voice asked.

"Um, not much." Draco answered.

"Aren't you cold?" Blaise asked. "You're not even wearing a shirt."

"Well, uh it was getting kind of hot in here, so I took it off." Draco said.

I felt something crawling up my arm and jerked to get it off and hit my head on the bed. Draco quickly started coughing to cover up the noise and my brief cursing.

"You all right? That sounds like a nasty cough." Blaise commented.

"I'm fine." Draco assured him.

"What's that?" Blaise asked.

"What's what?" Draco asked.

"That." I assumed Blaise was pointing to something.

"A shirt." Draco answered.

"Whose shirt? None of us guys wears a purple long sleeved shirt like this." I saw Blaise pick my shirt off the floor. "Or a girl's jacket," My jacket disappeared from the floor. "Or this purple scarf."

Blaise paused for a moment, and I thought he was going to look under the bed. Instead he laughed. "You were hooking up with a girl huh?" He asked.

"Yeah." Draco said.

"So you finally decided to give up on Sloane. Or is this just because she's gone and then when she gets back, you'll go back to dedicating your life to her?" Blaise asked.

There was so much dust under the bed, it was itching my nose. Oh, no I felt a sneeze. I held it in, but then another came before I realized it was coming.

"Achoo!" I sneezed.

"She's still here?" Blaise asked. "Oh, I interupted. Let's see who she is, come on out mystery girl."

On my way from getting from under the bed, I spotted a Charms book and I picked it up as I stood up.

Blaise's face showed so many things at one time. Shock, disbelief, amusement. "Sloane?!"

"Um, I left my Charms book in class and Draco got it for me, so I came to get it." I lied.

"You got more than your Charms book from what I can see." He laughed.

I was determined to not let him embarass me. "Well, thank you Draco, I really appreciate it." I said.

"Your book or the hooking up?" Blaise taunted.

I glared at him. "Both." I answered. Blaise smirked at me.

"Well, you're welcome." Draco said. "My pleasure."

"I will see you guys at dinner." I said.

"Don't forget your clothes." Blaise said laughing. I snatched my clothes and quickly put them on before I started walking out. "Nice bra!" Blaise called.

"Go to hell, Zabini!" I called back.

I returned back to the Gryffindor Tower smiling. And I knew it was because of Draco. I liked him and I wasn't afraid to admit. It felt good to finally get that off my chest and not hold it all in.

But after what happened, did that mean I was now Draco's girlfriend? Did I want more than a casual relationship with him at the moment? I kinda did.

I played Wizard's Chess with Neville and won three times before we headed down for dinner. Since not too many people stayed for holidays, everyone sat at one table. Against my better judgement, I sat next to Draco, who smiled and kissed me.

"Aren't you two just adorable?" Blaise asked mockingly.

"Yes, we are." Draco answered. "No need to be jealous." Blaise made a face at him, but said nothing more.

Dinner was filled with Draco having his utmost attention on me and Blaise making little remarks about it.

After dinner, Draco and lingered in the Entrance Hall to be alone.

"Today was a dream come true." Draco said leaning his head against mine.

"Yeah, it was. Literally." I smiled.

"You have any plans tomorrow?" He asked.

"Depends." I said.

"On what?"

"On if you're asking me to do something with you." I answered.

"I am." Draco said.

"Well, then, I guess I have plans with you tomorrow." I grinned.

"Brilliant." He whispered kissing me. Draco walked me the Gryffindor Tower, where he was very reluctant to leave me, but after a few minutes of kissing, he finally left.

I went to sleep happily that night. Today hadn't gone how I had expected it, yet it was still amazing. Espcially because I just might be Draco Malfoy's girlfriend.

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